Hell Date with a Vampire Nazi Nurse

Today I went into see a doctor about a possible hypothyroid problem. It went well enough. I needed to have some blood drawn and that’s when the fun began. I put my sheet in the little in tray at the lab and within seconds was called back. The nurse asked that I go down to the end, the third chair and have a seat. I obediently went. I watched her read the sheet thingy, pull four vials out of her collection, take my little name stickers off the sheet thingy and put them on the vials. I asked her, “so which arm do you want to see?” She said it didn’t matter. I pulled up both my sleeves to see which veins were more visible, left of course. I pulled down my right sleeve and handed her my left arm after taking my hair scrunchy off my wrist. She noticed the black rubber bracelet that I’ve been wearing for about a year now and flipped it over and around so that she could see what was engraved on it… “I did not vote 4 Bush”, she read aloud. She looked up at me and asked where I got it. “A friend bought a bunch of them on the internet and he gave it to me.”

“My husband would kill me if I wore one of those.” She said. And I thought about what kind of restrictive relationship she must be in if she isn’t free to express herself. She continued with a smug, “He’s in the military.” I bet she thought she had me, as if I should feel compelled to apologize for my rudeness in practicing my freedom of speech.

“I was in the military and I’m still wearing it.” I told her. She didn’t seem to believe me.

“What branch were you in?” She asked me in the same testing manner that many people take up with me.

“Navy.”

“How long were you in?”

“Three years.”

“Were you stationed here?”

I was sure she meant here as in a few miles South in Everett, so I said, “No I was at Whidbey Island.”

“Are you from here?”

“No, I’m originally from Alaska.”

“Then What are you doing Here!” She demanded. She didn’t yell it, but it certainly wasn’t as cordial as someone asking, “So what brings you to this area?”

I looked at her a little stunned, “My parents moved here when I was a teen, but still consider Alaska my home.” I said. What am I doing here? I’m not allowed to move from Alaska? Clearly she didn’t know that Whidbey Island is just a couple hours drive north, but I’m not in the position to hand her a map. Yes I was in a very docile mood today. It just proves that I’m not myself.

She told that she had moved her children here from Minnesota at a very young age, and they still feel the same.

Finally she’s done with her battery of questions and she tells me that there will be more than the usual poke because of the vein she has to draw from. “There is just no gentle way to do this one because of the position.” She said.

I have had my blood drawn many many many times and buy some very inept military corpsman, but it never hurt like this! – That Cunt!

And by the way – it’s the same damn vein as always! - Not arterial blood.