Kurt and I ventured to the mall today. It’s not a place that we almost never go to willingly, but it’s Christmas time and that means we are obligated to buy someone other than ourselves gifts. We passed every store grimacing at all the useless crap, then we made it to the center of the mall, and then we saw it. The one thing, other than the plethora of retarded Christmas songs played on the radio, that lets you know undoubtedly that it’s the jolliest season of the year…the line of screaming children leading to “Santa”. Why do people subject their children to this? All year long is spent teaching their children to be weary of and not to take candy from strangers (except on Halloween), yet every Christmas they herd their children into lines leading to the lap of some guy wearing a smelly red suit forcing them to sit for a picture with tears streaming down their faces. What better job for a child molester that just wants to cop a quick feel? They’re already crying; why not give them something to shriek about. Merry Fucking Christmas!
Of course if you’d like a truly creepy experience try the casino by my house. In the parking lot the casino has a trailer, the kind generally used as an office at a construction site, and on the outside is a neon sign that reads, “Santa Pictures”. It makes Santa look like he lost all his money gambling and this is all that’s left. It’s so creepy that I haven’t once seen a line leading to it or anyone walking towards it while I drive by.
I can see it now… Christmas in the year 201x… you go to the cybershopping gizmoplex of the future with your little ones, and between being bombarded by personalized musicfeeds singing “jingle speakers” and “deck the halls with nanoholly” you see the Jolly old Robot, center of the hoopla. Not only do you get your child’s picture taken with RoboSanta, he also has been programmed with the ability to deductively interrogate exactly what your children REALLY want for christmas. No more of this “I want a pony” crap… you’ll be buying your little ones exactly what their subconscious minds desire. Ah… tradition ain’t what it used to be.
You should take your foul-mouth off the web. That’s very unnecessary.
Just like the “off” button on your TV there is an “X” on the top right of your screen that will help shelter you from things you find offensive. No one said that a foul mouth was necessary, but I have rights to freedom of speech just like you so I’m staying on the web thank you.
*guffaw* *hysterical laughter* Really?! Ohmigosh, of all the things on the Internet, this offends her? And she can’t just move on?! Wow. Petty.