In high school I had a teacher that hated it when we said, “that sucks!” She would always ask us to rephrase what we said even if it was something that was uttered in our own conversations outside of class and not just as a response to her homework assignments, so I started a trend of saying, “That vacuums!” I think she gave up her quest to reform our language shortly after.
Comment from a friend:
I pity anyone who tries to reform you.
Hehe yeah that statement reminds me of this guy I dated for about three weeks. He was 30 at the time, had a bachelor’s degree in English and worked in a warehouse processing shipping orders. On our third date we went out to a comedy show. The comedians weren’t very good, but were of course as colorful as most, and so is my language outside of work (I’m sure you’ve noticed). He enjoyed the show and afterwords we were talking about comedians. I had brought a couple tapes one of Dennis Leary and one of Jeff Foxworthy. After we listened to both he asked which one I liked best. I told him that between those two choices I like Dennis as I tend to go for raw adult humor and comedians that make you really think about the things most people just take at face value over daily life observations and “family friendly”. I didn’t explain my reasoning to him but I gave my preference, and he told me that he liked Jeff better – cause he doesn’t curse. This was his passive-aggressive way of telling me that my language was too colorful for him. I rolled my eyes at his response and then he proceeded to tell me that people who curse sound less intelligent and that there are better ways to express a point or something along those lines. I thanked him for the show and dinner and told him that we just didn’t seem to click and I didn’t want to see him anymore. He called me a b**** and I told him he was right…that does make you sound like an f***ing idiot! And I left. He called me a month or so later, and without even apologizing for being a hypocrite, he wanted to see if I was available and if I wanted to go out again. You have got to be kidding me! The sick thing is I think that was his way of forgiving me for my faults…as if I cared to be with someone that would look down on me because I see nothing wrong with using all of the English words and not just the ones deemed socially acceptable. It was like I should feel privileged that he would give me a second chance or something.
Why do English majors turn their noses up to the most versatile form of English? They act like it’s a lower form has no meaningful place in society yet they exist in every language and when disallowed they’re merely replaced with words like…“Oh shoot”, “Darn it all”, “Gosh darn it”, “Fudge”, Smeg and Farfignuten. It’s an attempt to convey the SAME THING!