Sure signs of pregnancy

As if I needed more proof of pregnancy, the top ten signs of third trimester pregnancy…

1. People treat you as if you have a special condition.
2. Everyone asks you for “belly pictures”.
3. Your stomach is so bulbous that if you were a kitten or puppy you would be treated for worms.
4. Even if you stared out looking like a beanpole and wore a size ten shoe, you can’t see your feet
5. Your belly randomly shifts from a “cute” round basketball to a square box complete with pokey corners at least five times a day.
6. If everything is going well and your baby has shifted to the proper “ready” position your cervix becomes a trampoline that is only used when you’re trying to sleep.
7. Your hips don’t crack where your legs attach anymore, but instead crack where they attach to your back. You also crack in the front, which is quite a “unique” feeling.
8. Now that your almost done people skip the “oh you’re pregnant, congratulations” stuff and go right into how you should care for your baby and “the best” way to raise your child.
9. You begin to leak from places you never had to worry about leaking before, ever!

And the number one sign you’re in your third trimester of pregnancy that lead me to create this list is…

10. You go downstairs to get your purse in order to obtain your credit card and finish an online transaction, but you come back with a plate of Oreo Cookies and a glass of milk completely forgetting the reason you made the trek in the first place.