Nursery Water

I’ve seen this at Babies “R” Us and today I just saw it today at another store. My first thought goes to the name - I know what kind of liquids come from a baby nursery and I want nothing to do with any of them much less buy some of it bottled. My next thought is other than for convenience if your camping or something like that - why the hell are we buying bottled water? We already have to pay for tap. Just use that. It’s the same stuff I promise. Unless you live in a third world country or came from the same town in Alaska that I did where city water smelled like rotten eggs and actually had visibly brown sediment your tap water is at least as good as the bottled stuff.

Back to “Nursery Water”. At the store I saw this brand in it cost about 30 cents more than the surrounding brands. The marketing on the web site of this brand says, “Our water goes through an extensive process of steam distillation” - fancy huh? All that means is it’s distilled. Ok, distilled water usually costs more because something is actually being done to it, but is that really necessary? If you just boil water that will get rid of any bacteria. Distillation gets rid of bacteria and any minerals - What the fuck minuscule trace mineral are you afraid your baby might come into contact with? The marketing team at Nursery Water goes on to say, “We even add minerals such as magnesium, potassium, and calcium for a refreshing taste your child will love!” If you take just one second to read the nutrition label on the bottle none of those things even register as a percentage of the daily recommended allowance, so anything they add to it is so little it’s basically ZERO and they might as well not bother. It’s water - there is no fucking flavor! “Specially formulated to contain the ADA recommended level of added fluoride” The tap water in most communities has fluoride and so do some other bottled waters.

From the EPA:

Bottled water is not necessarily safer than your tap water. EPA sets standards for tap water provided by public water systems; the Food and Drug Administration sets bottled water standards based on EPA’s tap water standards.

From the FDA regarding formula preparation using tap water:

In most cases, it’s safe to mix formula using ordinary cold tap water that’s brought to a boil and then boiled for one minute and cooled. According to the World Health Organization, recent studies suggest that mixing powdered formula with water at a temperature of at least 70°C (158°F) creates a high probability that the formula will not contain the bacterium Enterobacter sakazakii—a rare cause of bloodstream and central nervous system infections. Remember that formula made with hot water needs to be cooled quickly to body temperature—about 98°F—if it is being fed to the baby immediately. If the formula is not being fed immediately, refrigerate it right away and keep refrigerated until feeding.

From the FDA regarding formula preparation using Bottled water:

If consumers use non-sterile bottled water for formula preparation, they should follow the same directions as described for tap water above. Some companies sell bottled water that is marketed for infants and for use in mixing with infant formula. This bottled water is required to meet general FDA quality requirements for bottled water. If the bottled water is not sterile, the label must also indicate this. Water that is marketed by the manufacturer as sterile and for infants must meet FDA’s general requirements for commercial sterility.

By the way - Nursery Water does not meet the FDA’s requirements for commercial sterility they even say so on the FAQ section of their website, which means that according to the FDA you’re supposed to boil it anyway.

Why am I picking on this brand? Because when I passed by it in the store today I thought it’s stupid to market water just for babies, so I wanted to know more because I apparently enjoy torturing myself. It’s just water, and that particular zero calorie beverage doesn’t need to be any different for a baby than for an adult. Then I saw on the label, “specially formulated for babies” and I flew into rant mode. I know that those words tickle the guilt-ridden heartstrings of new moms and I have something very blunt to say about that. I will make no apology for the following sentiments - anyone who purchases this brand of water because they truly believe that it’s not only better for their baby than tap water but because they also think water can actually be “specially formulated for babies”, is fucked in the head. It’s water you stupid drone! You are the reason there are isles and isles of useless crap in stores that prevent me from finding something as simple as a replacement for my broken vegetable steamer basket because there are apparently so many of you out there buying this useless shit that stores don’t bother with actual merchandise. I went to Target, Fred Meyer, and K-Mart looking for one and finally found it at Safeway. I bought two of them!