Daycare interview
Friday I had an appointment to check out a possible daycare provider for when I go back to work in March. I thought that I would want a small in home type of daycare, but the one I went to see today has me rethinking it all. I wanted a in home type because I felt like it would be more like staying with extended family or something. The owner seemed nice and the two people working for her also very nice. The daycare space was a converted two car garage that they put a small kitchen and bathroom into. The older kids and infants were separated, which was a plus. There was a separate sleeping space with five cribs for the babies that gave me the creeps. The cribs were pretty old rickety cheap things that looked like baby cages. All of the separate rooms left very little area for the kids to play in considering the number of children. Even if she had a yard for them to play in, which I didn’t ask about, with the weather around here there aren’t many pleasant outdoor days.
When I first walked into the door three little girls came up to me to see the baby. I didn’t really want them so close to my baby especially since one of them had a runny nose. The daycare owner told that girl to go wipe her nose and for the others to go play, which they did. The daycare owner asked me to have a seat. I didn’t really want to interview her there. It was so loud with so many kids in a small area. I sat anyway. She went away to get something and I suddenly found myself surrounded by the girls again and they were petting my child’s face before I could say anything. And what do I say? How do I politely tell three otherwise well behaved children that I don’t want them touching my kid? I haven’t really been around so many kids before (as an adult). I don’t know how to deal with other people’s children and don’t really want to deal with them at all. Besides, Sophia was smiling at them and seemed to enjoy the attention. I felt cornered and found myself pushing one of the girls hands away. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. The daycare owner again told the girls to go play and also added that I may not want them to touch my baby. – Ugg she saw.
She gave a little bit of background of her business and her own background. She also gave advice about what to look for in a daycare. I liked her approach, but her overall place just didn’t sit well with me. She kept saying that the place was a mess, but that it was a daycare. She advised me that if a place was too dirty it wasn’t good, but if a place was too clean I should be concerned about what the kids are allowed to do. That makes sense. Cleanliness really wasn’t the issue I had with the place though, but the fact that she repeated that several times through my visit did bother me. She made sure to ask each child if they had washed their hands as they came out of the bathroom. I’m glad that she did, but wonder if it was only for my benefit after seeing my reaction or if she always did that.
She was very upfront with her reverences and said that any quality daycare provider should offer them without being asked. Later she admitted that one of her references was her own daughter. *eye roll* She kept asking me if I had any questions for her, and I did ask some, but I think Kurt was right when he said to just let them do the talking. She did ramble on saying things she maybe wouldn’t have had I bombarded her with questions like Kurt said. I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t bring my list and that the majority of my questions flew out of my head upon entering her place.
Of all the things I observed I think what really struck me is the one shy child that just sat there the whole time and never once made a peep. When I asked questions about how long the older children had been in her care she mentioned them all except for this one. She also didn’t mention the child when introducing me to all the others.
The whole experience plus just the idea of leaving my baby with a stranger scared the living shit out of me. I was so shaken by it all I had to call up a friend and go visit. I just needed to be out of the house and keep myself from being alone with my thoughts. Thanks for being there for me.
December 16th, 2007 at 12:58 am
Just say the word, Erica. I’m available.
December 16th, 2007 at 11:27 am
Erica,
I don’t blame you for not wanting little kids to get too close to Sophia. God knows what they have. I don’t meant to be nasty but my daughter Laura was in contact with a child, despite my intervention, that had strep throat. Laurie contacted it and it evolved into spinal meningitis. You can never be too careful. Who cares if they hate you at least your baby is safe. Do what you think is necessary to protect her.
December 17th, 2007 at 12:43 am
Ouch, sorry for the sucky introduction to day cares.
I think you were right in your feelings and as a mom have the right to voice them. My mom calls that being the mama bear…standing up for your beliefs in how you conduct you and your kid despite what family, friends or complete strangers think of you. She says it gets hard sometimes, but figures the kid and your piece of mind are more important than what anybody else thinks.
And I’m with Kim.
December 19th, 2007 at 7:45 am
Might I say that an in home care is sometimes a better deal IF,,,,IF your gutt tells you it is the right one. I have done in my home care for many eyars,,, I now only have 1 littel boy tha tis “like family” all of my other children were just like family also. go with your gutt,,, You will know. Good luck hang in there….
December 19th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Completely irrelevant comment… I got tagged, and now you have been too. Please don’t hate me. It’s Crazy Eights.
December 20th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
OH NO! I definitely wouldn’t want to leave my child there either, it’s the stay at home daycares that I worry about the most really, you always see stories about the horrible things people do and most of the time it’s the small daycares. The best one’s i’ve observed and worked for in the past have been the larger businesses or church daycares. Even though i’m not religious there are some which do not make a fuss over that matter and do not have a heavily religious based atmosphere. Good luck with your search though it’s definitely a tough one!
December 21st, 2007 at 12:43 am
kimberly – Thank you. I might just take you up on that. And I’ll get to that meme someday
Claudia – I know. Kurt told me about Laurie and that’s what what running through my mind when the one girl with the runny nose tried to touch Sophia.
Angel – Thanks. Maybe your mom could give me some momma bear lessons. Sometimes it’s hard not to worry about what others think…even for me.
Just a mom – I know the one in home day care doesn’t represent them all, but that one really didn’t feel right for me. And it’s not that I thought there was abuse going on there. It was about the noise level, sanitation, and lack of space.
Amy – Considering how many in home day cares there are I don’t think abuse is running rampant in these small places. We only hear about the bad ones. Good daycare is just what is expected and it’s not news when a good place exists.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Erica, good point, I never really considered that we only ever hear about the bad places!
July 18th, 2008 at 11:58 am
I know how you feel, my 2nd daycare interview went almost exactly like that, with the providers two kids getting all up on me and my little one, touching and being annoying. It freaked me out.