Baby Squeezins: Diaper of the Month

Sophia lay across my waist on the Boppy pillow nursing while I sat upright in our recliner with my laptop on a tiny portable table. I was typing out a post about her new nap and nighttime sleep habits. Halfway through Sophia was finished nursing. I kept her on the pillow and she smiled, and cooed. Then I heard the wet peculating coffee sound from her diaper. I made note, but otherwise ignored it. I new there was more to come and I wanted to make sure she was done lest I get splattered while changing her. That hasn’t happened yet. *searches for wood to knock on* She has let out a couple little farts while I’ve changed her before, but nothing actually hit me. *finds that wood to knock on*

She let out her second set of “productive” farts and suddenly I felt something warm. OHMYGOD NO! EEEeeewwww! I pushed the table away. I kept Sophia in place by holding the Boppy pillow and keeping it all pressed against me till I made it upstairs to the nursery where I could lay it all on a changing pad. The Boppy pillow got out of it completely unscathed but the front of my pants and the shirt that tucked in them were both soaked. I needed to change clothes without a doubt and probably a shower.

I took Sophia’s onesie off without getting poop on her face, but with her arms and legs flailing and her latest development of an obsessive compulsive foot fetish – the child and I both needed a bath. This was the very same day she discovered her feet and thus my new annoyance with diaper changes. Poop was on her hands, arms, legs, and my hands. It was a mess under that onesie and diaper. Of course, she had to do this when we were sort of in a time crunch. I needed to get started on the bread pudding I was taking up to Bellingham for the football game later that day (poor Packers lost against the Patriots).

The thing that really had me scratching my head, aside from the fact that she was wearing the “I (heart) mommy” onesie that Kurt bought at Christmas, was when I took my shower Kurt popped Sophia around the shower curtain and I gave her a kiss. I never ever thought I would kiss someone minutes after they literally just shit on me. Just so we’re clear – no, I’m not into that.