“You don’t have to have sex with every man you meet.” I didn’t bother explaining that spending the night doesn’t necessarily equate to sex. “Why not?” I asked, “I enjoy it.” The notion shocked her which in turn shocked me. There are women that only have sex out of marital obligation? How sad is that?
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55’s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
July 18th, 2008 at 12:15am
sex just for marriage is bologna/baloney LOL shoot, gotta try out the merchandise before ya buy, right? LOL great 55! mine is up now.
ciaras latest blog post… Thematic Photographic #3 : Animals
July 18th, 2008 at 12:47am
This wasn’t only about premarital sex - this person seemed alarmed that women can actually enjoy sex. She seemed to think women felt obligated to have sex on dates, which in turn let me know that for her sex was an obligation to her husband or at least not an enjoyable activity to her.
July 18th, 2008 at 3:56am
You were talking with a Catholic?
Never mind…hehehehe
I really enjoyed this Erica..
Succinct, and to the point!!!
Thanks for joining the 55 crew…You Rock!!!
Have a great week-end….Galen
July 18th, 2008 at 4:09am
Sex withing marital obligations… that makes one think.It must be all about money then…
On the other hand a whore might have sex with someone and not charge him…It would be out of love…Then isn’t it the ‘reversal of roles’ in both cases?
July 18th, 2008 at 7:23am
G-Man, yep you’re right on the money. She was Catholic (still is).
July 18th, 2008 at 7:26am
mona, hahaha nope it has to do with religion. G-Man was right on the money with this one.
July 18th, 2008 at 8:18am
First things first: Great job on this 55! So many concepts woven into so few words…
Disclaimer: It’s not that I subscribe to the philosophy, mind you (I so don’t!) Just trying to underscore (what I see as) your point. The best way I ever heard this idea summed up was by Amitabh Bachchan in the movie Cheeni Kum when he said:
mojos latest blog post… 55 Flash Fiction Friday (#3): "Concurrence"
July 18th, 2008 at 8:20am
Hmm… seems Wordpress ate the quote I was trying to use. Anyway, Big B said:
“Marriage is the price a man pays for sex. Sex is the price a woman pays for marriage”.
(Take that Wordpress!)
mojos latest blog post… 55 Flash Fiction Friday (#3): "Concurrence"
July 18th, 2008 at 8:48am
Obligation sex, yeah I was married for thirteen years and know what that means
it’s sad when all there is, is the mechanics of the function only. Oh well I didn’t think sex could be different beyond that, but that Cinderella part of me makes me keep wishing on the stars.
Great 55, have a wonderful weekend.
Missys latest blog post… Friendships 55
July 18th, 2008 at 9:44am
When I first discovered message boards years ago, I joined one populated by mothers of mostly young children. I began to see a pattern: women posting about how their husbands wanted sex and how they simply weren’t interested. The posts were so frequent that it really shocked me-I’d had no idea that many married women with kids didn’t like sex. For so many of them it was a chore.
While a few were simply overworked or at least mommied out, most just didn’t care if they ever had sex, and just didn’t understand why their husbands were bothered by this. It wasn’t a religion thing, either.
I’m of the try-before-you-buy camp. If my partner and I were not compatible in bed, and that would include a willingness to have it out of more than obligation, I wouldn’t want to be married to him.
While parenting has slowed things down some, we’re still happy to enjoy it out of more than obligation, and I hope we always do. But…I understand that some people just don’t feel that way, that sex is one of those sadly necessary parts of married life. Too bad they’re missing out of something great.
July 18th, 2008 at 10:51am
Were you listening to my conversations? LOL!
This was an amazing 55! Great job!
signgurls latest blog post… Flash 55, Take 39
July 18th, 2008 at 10:23pm
Agi, you’ve reassured me! I know the trend you’re talking about among young mothers, and I’ve never dared to ask them if they enjoyed sex before the baby came along, or if they only did it to make the baby. Clearly there is a large number of women out there who just don’t like sex, and only do it to achieve some end (get the guy, keep the guy, make a baby, etc.). Once that purpose has been fulfilled, sex is only done as necessary to maintain status quo. What a sad way to live.
But you’re obviously one who enjoys it, and you continue to after the kids. Thanks for reassuring me that having the kids isn’t the problem.
July 18th, 2008 at 10:26pm
And now I realize I failed to address the 55, which prompted this discussion. Great writing, Erica. Of course. But I had a sneak preview, and we had that discussion about this. So that’s why I didn’t address the 55 directly. Yup. That’s my story.
July 19th, 2008 at 10:46am
mojo, yep that quote illustrates that point of view well. I wonder why Wordpress ate the quote the first time? As I said in my 55 find it sad that there are women that don’t find any enjoyment out of it. Thanks for the quote!
July 19th, 2008 at 10:52am
Missy, hahaha
(I’m only laughing at the very first part of your comment.) Yeah if it were nothing but mechanics and function I’d rather be single. And I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the stars grant your wish 
July 19th, 2008 at 11:43am
Agi - Wow, really? I can’t imagine all those moms “saved” themselves for marriage, so I wonder, did they *ever* enjoy it? When I was in the Navy I was surrounded by guys (duh). They quickly learned that I could be trusted as *one of the guys* and I heard over and over again from them that, “sex changes after you have kids”. I never asked for details, I just always assumed that it was either about her body not going back to what it was and it simply didn’t feel the same (read: tight), or that she was just too tired from chasing kids all day to feel romantic. Ack, this makes me depressed. All these people that aren’t enjoying the one free, feel great activity.
July 19th, 2008 at 11:45am
signgurl - *putting the glass down that was used against the door for listening purposes* Yikes! No, not me.
Have you really had a similar conversation? Inquiring minds want to know *grin*
July 19th, 2008 at 3:40pm
A friend (who is a blogger) and I just had the “sex out of marital obligation” conversation on Thursday. He couldn’t believe that any woman would merely have sex because her marriage vows told her she had to. He thought that any woman should just enjoy sex anytime her husband desired. Interesting topic.
signgurls latest blog post… Flash 55, Take 39
July 20th, 2008 at 10:06pm
Oooh, new digs! I dig!