Comments on: 55 Flash Fiction Friday: Obligations http://www.momsjournal.org/20080717/55-flash-fiction-friday-obligations/ My baby leaks from both ends…what's the hospital's policy on returns? Mon, 06 Feb 2012 22:15:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: smarmoofus http://www.momsjournal.org/20080717/55-flash-fiction-friday-obligations/#comment-20177 smarmoofus Mon, 21 Jul 2008 05:06:57 +0000 http://www.momsjournal.org/?p=552#comment-20177 Oooh, new digs! I dig! Oooh, new digs! I dig!

]]> By: signgurl http://www.momsjournal.org/20080717/55-flash-fiction-friday-obligations/#comment-20156 signgurl Sat, 19 Jul 2008 22:40:55 +0000 http://www.momsjournal.org/?p=552#comment-20156 A friend (who is a blogger) and I just had the "sex out of marital obligation" conversation on Thursday. He couldn't believe that any woman would merely have sex because her marriage vows told her she had to. He thought that any woman should just enjoy sex anytime her husband desired. Interesting topic. signgurls latest blog post... <a href="http://signgurl.blogspot.com/2008/07/every-morning-i-wake-up-and-loathe.html" rel="nofollow">Flash 55, Take 39</a> A friend (who is a blogger) and I just had the “sex out of marital obligation” conversation on Thursday. He couldn’t believe that any woman would merely have sex because her marriage vows told her she had to. He thought that any woman should just enjoy sex anytime her husband desired. Interesting topic.

signgurls latest blog post… Flash 55, Take 39

]]> By: Erica http://www.momsjournal.org/20080717/55-flash-fiction-friday-obligations/#comment-20153 Erica Sat, 19 Jul 2008 18:45:56 +0000 http://www.momsjournal.org/?p=552#comment-20153 signgurl - *putting the glass down that was used against the door for listening purposes* Yikes! No, not me. ;-) Have you really had a similar conversation? Inquiring minds want to know *grin* signgurl – *putting the glass down that was used against the door for listening purposes* Yikes! No, not me. ;-) Have you really had a similar conversation? Inquiring minds want to know *grin*

]]> By: Erica http://www.momsjournal.org/20080717/55-flash-fiction-friday-obligations/#comment-20152 Erica Sat, 19 Jul 2008 18:43:39 +0000 http://www.momsjournal.org/?p=552#comment-20152 Agi - Wow, really? I can't imagine all those moms "saved" themselves for marriage, so I wonder, did they *ever* enjoy it? When I was in the Navy I was surrounded by guys (duh). They quickly learned that I could be trusted as *one of the guys* and I heard over and over again from them that, "sex changes after you have kids". I never asked for details, I just always assumed that it was either about her body not going back to what it was and it simply didn't feel the same (read: tight), or that she was just too tired from chasing kids all day to feel romantic. Ack, this makes me depressed. All these people that aren't enjoying the one free, feel great activity. Agi – Wow, really? I can’t imagine all those moms “saved” themselves for marriage, so I wonder, did they *ever* enjoy it? When I was in the Navy I was surrounded by guys (duh). They quickly learned that I could be trusted as *one of the guys* and I heard over and over again from them that, “sex changes after you have kids”. I never asked for details, I just always assumed that it was either about her body not going back to what it was and it simply didn’t feel the same (read: tight), or that she was just too tired from chasing kids all day to feel romantic. Ack, this makes me depressed. All these people that aren’t enjoying the one free, feel great activity.

]]> By: Erica http://www.momsjournal.org/20080717/55-flash-fiction-friday-obligations/#comment-20151 Erica Sat, 19 Jul 2008 17:52:01 +0000 http://www.momsjournal.org/?p=552#comment-20151 Missy, hahaha ;-) (I'm only laughing at the very first part of your comment.) Yeah if it were nothing but mechanics and function I'd rather be single. And I'll keep my fingers crossed that the stars grant your wish ;-) Missy, hahaha ;-) (I’m only laughing at the very first part of your comment.) Yeah if it were nothing but mechanics and function I’d rather be single. And I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the stars grant your wish ;-)

]]> By: Erica http://www.momsjournal.org/20080717/55-flash-fiction-friday-obligations/#comment-20150 Erica Sat, 19 Jul 2008 17:46:00 +0000 http://www.momsjournal.org/?p=552#comment-20150 mojo, yep that quote illustrates that point of view well. I wonder why Wordpress ate the quote the first time? As I said in my 55 find it sad that there are women that don't find any enjoyment out of it. Thanks for the quote! mojo, yep that quote illustrates that point of view well. I wonder why WordPress ate the quote the first time? As I said in my 55 find it sad that there are women that don’t find any enjoyment out of it. Thanks for the quote!

]]> By: smarmoofus http://www.momsjournal.org/20080717/55-flash-fiction-friday-obligations/#comment-20148 smarmoofus Sat, 19 Jul 2008 05:26:59 +0000 http://www.momsjournal.org/?p=552#comment-20148 And now I realize I failed to address the 55, which prompted this discussion. Great writing, Erica. Of course. But I had a sneak preview, and we had that discussion about this. So that's why I didn't address the 55 directly. Yup. That's my story. And now I realize I failed to address the 55, which prompted this discussion. Great writing, Erica. Of course. But I had a sneak preview, and we had that discussion about this. So that’s why I didn’t address the 55 directly. Yup. That’s my story.

]]> By: smarmoofus http://www.momsjournal.org/20080717/55-flash-fiction-friday-obligations/#comment-20147 smarmoofus Sat, 19 Jul 2008 05:23:50 +0000 http://www.momsjournal.org/?p=552#comment-20147 Agi, you've reassured me! I know the trend you're talking about among young mothers, and I've never dared to ask them if they enjoyed sex <i>before</i> the baby came along, or if they only did it to make the baby. Clearly there is a large number of women out there who just don't like sex, and only do it to achieve some end (get the guy, keep the guy, make a baby, etc.). Once that purpose has been fulfilled, sex is only done as necessary to maintain status quo. What a sad way to live. But you're obviously one who enjoys it, and you continue to after the kids. Thanks for reassuring me that having the kids isn't the problem. Agi, you’ve reassured me! I know the trend you’re talking about among young mothers, and I’ve never dared to ask them if they enjoyed sex before the baby came along, or if they only did it to make the baby. Clearly there is a large number of women out there who just don’t like sex, and only do it to achieve some end (get the guy, keep the guy, make a baby, etc.). Once that purpose has been fulfilled, sex is only done as necessary to maintain status quo. What a sad way to live.

But you’re obviously one who enjoys it, and you continue to after the kids. Thanks for reassuring me that having the kids isn’t the problem.

]]> By: signgurl http://www.momsjournal.org/20080717/55-flash-fiction-friday-obligations/#comment-20143 signgurl Fri, 18 Jul 2008 17:51:07 +0000 http://www.momsjournal.org/?p=552#comment-20143 Were you listening to my conversations? LOL! This was an amazing 55! Great job! signgurls latest blog post... <a href="http://signgurl.blogspot.com/2008/07/every-morning-i-wake-up-and-loathe.html" rel="nofollow">Flash 55, Take 39</a> Were you listening to my conversations? LOL!

This was an amazing 55! Great job!

signgurls latest blog post… Flash 55, Take 39

]]> By: Agi http://www.momsjournal.org/20080717/55-flash-fiction-friday-obligations/#comment-20142 Agi Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:44:01 +0000 http://www.momsjournal.org/?p=552#comment-20142 When I first discovered message boards years ago, I joined one populated by mothers of mostly young children. I began to see a pattern: women posting about how their husbands wanted sex and how they simply weren't interested. The posts were so frequent that it really shocked me-I'd had no idea that many married women with kids didn't like sex. For so many of them it was a chore. While a few were simply overworked or at least mommied out, most just didn't care if they ever had sex, and just didn't understand why their husbands were bothered by this. It wasn't a religion thing, either. I'm of the try-before-you-buy camp. If my partner and I were not compatible in bed, and that would include a willingness to have it out of more than obligation, I wouldn't want to be married to him. While parenting has slowed things down some, we're still happy to enjoy it out of more than obligation, and I hope we always do. But...I understand that some people just don't feel that way, that sex is one of those sadly necessary parts of married life. Too bad they're missing out of something great. When I first discovered message boards years ago, I joined one populated by mothers of mostly young children. I began to see a pattern: women posting about how their husbands wanted sex and how they simply weren’t interested. The posts were so frequent that it really shocked me-I’d had no idea that many married women with kids didn’t like sex. For so many of them it was a chore.

While a few were simply overworked or at least mommied out, most just didn’t care if they ever had sex, and just didn’t understand why their husbands were bothered by this. It wasn’t a religion thing, either.

I’m of the try-before-you-buy camp. If my partner and I were not compatible in bed, and that would include a willingness to have it out of more than obligation, I wouldn’t want to be married to him.

While parenting has slowed things down some, we’re still happy to enjoy it out of more than obligation, and I hope we always do. But…I understand that some people just don’t feel that way, that sex is one of those sadly necessary parts of married life. Too bad they’re missing out of something great.

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