Monty Python Rice Skit
Last night we went out to our favorite Mexican restaurant. The waitress there always gushes over Sophia. No, that isn’t why it’s our favorite place, but I won’t lie it doesn’t hurt either. The second she sees us come in she comes out and picks up Sophia. Once she even took Sophia behind the counter and then looked up at us, “Ok what do you want to order?” We ordered and sat down. When our food arrived Kurt and I each gave little bits of our food to Sophia. Kurt gave rice, I gave beans, he gave her a small piece of chicken and I gave a small piece of beef. Sophia ate all the rice, one grain at a time of course, one bean, a tiny bite of chicken, but only touched the beef long enough to move it to the side where the chicken also went after her one bite. Kurt kept giving her more rice and when he was done, he slid his plate closer to her so she could continue picking rice off, one grain at a time. It was at that point our meal became a Monty Python skit.
FATHER: Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn’t leave this room until I come and get ‘im.
GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get ‘im.
GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we’re not to enter the room.
FATHER: No, no, no. You stay in the room and make sure ‘e doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: And you’ll come and get him.
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: We don’t need to do anything, apart from just stop him entering the room.
FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1: Leaving the room, yes.
FATHER: All right?
GUARD #1: Right. Oh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if we…
FATHER: Yes, what is it?
GUARD #1: Oh, if-if, oh–
FATHER: Look, it’s quite simple. You just stay here, and make sure ‘e doesn’t leave the room. All right?
GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER: N- No no no. You just keep him in here, and make sure–
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, we’ll keep him in here, obviously. But if he had to leave and we were–
FATHER: No, no, just keep him in here–
GUARD #1: Until you, or anyone else,–
FATHER: No, not anyone else, just me–
GUARD #1: Just you.
FATHER: Get back.
GUARD #1: Get back.
FATHER: Right?
GUARD #1: Right, we’ll stay here until you get back.
FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: What?
FATHER: Make sure ‘e doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: The Prince?
FATHER: Yes, make sure ‘e doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him. Y’know, it seemed a bit daft, me havin’ to guard him when he’s a guard.
FATHER: Is that clear?
GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear, no problems.
FATHER: Right.
[starts to leave]
Where are you going?
GUARD #1: We’re coming with you.
FATHER: No no, I want you to stay ‘ere and make sure ‘e doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.
Sophia didn’t know what to do with the dish. She leaned forward with her mouth open only it looked like she was aiming for the plate itself and not the rice. We told her to use her hands so she used her hand to touch the plate. Get the rice we told her. Again, she leaned towards the plate with her mouth open. “Pick the rice up with your hands.” She took the rice, one grain at a time, and began to place it on the table. “No, eat it. Put it in your mouth.” Finally, one grain at a time, she ate the rice.
“You know we’re going to be here for three hours at this rate.” I told Kurt as we watched the rice disappear at a pace which only finicky toddler and frozen molasses moves. Kurt tried to give her some rice off his fork. She pushed the fork away, but then opened her mouth while looking at the fork. Kurt tried again. She leaned in, but then closed her mouth right when the fork touched her lip. She pushed the fork away again, but then again opened her mouth and looked at the fork. Kurt tried one last time. The rice made it in but then she pushed all but a grain out with her tongue. She then proceeded to pick the rice off her clothes and put it in her mouth, one grain at a time.
November 24th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
I wouldn’t be a proper Bloke if I didn’t admit that I’m a big Python fan. And considering that they were an acquired taste, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my 12 year old daughter adores them too. Coincidentally we just finished watching the Holy Grail again, and again, and again, and…
November 24th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
I fart in your general direction…….
November 29th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Blog Bloke – Well I hope it’s in the genes cause I don’t know how our Sophia will survive if she doesn’t LOVE Monty Python, M*A*S*H, Star Wars, and History Channel. Thanks for visiting and for the comment.