Off-color food humor
On Black Friday Kurt and I went out to run some errands one of which was to grab some lunch. We didn’t want to drive far to get something to eat, so our choices were limited. After running through the list and not hearing anything that really struck a chord, Kurt jokingly suggested McDonald’s. “The McRib is back on the menu.” He said in mock cheer. Kurt, as with most people that know me at all fully would expect one of my famous sneers which very clearly convey, “What are you fucking retarded?” That’s not what he got.
I avoid chain restaurants especially ones that have a drive-thru. That doesn’t mean I never get dragged to them or even that I don’t go voluntarily on occasion. I just avoid them. Thanks to their attempts at trying to offer healthy options, I can usually find something to pick at. I sheepishly told Kurt that I actually like the McRib. I know it’s something that most people only confess to their priests, rabbis, or other equivalent. It’s my deep dark secret. I like the McRib, and I ordered one with extra pickles. Apparently, their idea of extra pickles and my idea of extra pickles don’t match up. I think I need to go back and order the way I used to, “I want a cheese burger with extra pickles. No, scratch that. I want a pickle burger with a meat patty and cheese. Yes, I want everything on it. And don’t forget the pickles.”
Sophia had a couple fries, but we brought with us a banana and some bread for her. She can’t finish a whole banana so Kurt and I took turns taking bites of the other half. Each time I took a bite of the yellow phallic symbol Kurt would say, “That’s a girl”. I glared at him. Kurt offered me the last bite and as I leaned in, he took the banana away. “You BANANA tease!”
November 30th, 2008 at 10:07 am
really, banana teases should be ashamed of themselves hehe i will confess to liking the mcrib, but let’s keep that b/t you and me, shall we? : )
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November 30th, 2008 at 11:50 am
I hate people handling my food thats why I don’t eat out very often.,…
November 30th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
LOL! You made my day. I almost spit out the banana I was sharing with Chloe.
November 30th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Toldja.
That’s really funny, though. I remember you telling me you liked the McRib… Kurt didn’t know about that? Yay! I’m the better spouse!
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December 13th, 2008 at 5:30 am
Lol! I just saw an episode of King of Queens last night where Doug was faking an injury to get out of going to a wedding with Carrie. Her dad followed him and took blackmail pics and one of them was him jumping in the air happy when he found out that the McRib was back. Thought of you
December 13th, 2008 at 8:14 am
McRib rules, but what doesnt rulse is the way McD staff handle the food!
I too hate people treating my food lilke, well i dont know. They never seem to wash their hands, pick their nose and all that and then handle the food you and your family are going to eat.
I am in a luck situation i have a friend who works their and will only eat when they are on, and let them do it fresh.