Static Baby Cling
I’m getting tired of it. Kurt volunteered to get Sophia this morning and he entertained her while I slept in. It was great, but when I woke up, I just stayed there. I’m with her 24-7 and her clinginess to mommy along with not being able to tell me what the hell she needs is really wearing me thin. I dread getting up.
Most of my communication with the outside world is via email/blog/text chat so when people tell me not to worry about her not talking I’m not sure if their comment is just a sort of knee-jerk response like when the cashier at the grocery store wishes people to “have a nice day” or if they really think I’m concerned. I’m not. She babbles constantly while at home. I know she can hear and I know she’s smart. She can very clearly communicate what she wants without words sometimes. On Thursday when the swimming instructor said the words, “humpty dumpty” she stretched her arms and legs out so she was flat as a board and reached for the side of the pool. That song signals that they get to go jump into the pool off the side and she loves it. The instructor doesn’t do that song very often. I think it’s actually been a couple weeks since she’s heard those words.
It’s been brought up that maybe I respond to her nonverbal demands so I’ve made myself very aware of what I do. I intentionally pretend I don’t know what she wants and will make several guesses until she gives me some sort of cue that I’m right. Until I get it right she screams and cries and stomps about. I’m getting really tired of it. I need a break. I haven’t had one since before my last post about needing a break. I need more than just a couple hours.
This morning I reluctantly came down the stairs. Sophia was very quietly playing with her toys while Kurt watched TV. She never lets me do that. If I’m sitting, she must be on my lap. I don’t get computer time while she’s awake because she wants to type while I type. If I want her to play with her toys I must sit on the floor with her. Sometimes I get to sneak off while she plays, but not for long.
Kurt announces my presents and Sophia came running, but unlike when she runs to greet daddy after work she insists that I pick her up. I give her a hug and hold her for a bit then put her down. All hell breaks loose. Because she hasn’t seen me all morning and that’s like a lifetime to her, she wants to be attached at the hip. If it were up to her mommy would carry her for the rest of the day. It’s not possible and don’t even entertain the idea. I made brunch instead while the child turn red in the face, screamed, and cried crocodile tears. I need a break. I really really need a break.
January 17th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Henry can really relate to what you write here. If he leaves the room to go pee she screams and cries. In fact, at a recent holiday party she followed him everywhere prompting people to call her daddy’s shadow. As for not talking, that frustrates me too. At almost 17 months I’m still not hearing conversation. We’ve been told it might be because she is aquiring two languages at once (and she does understand) but what I wouldn’t give for her to call me mommy instead of daddy. Unless she’s trying to tell me that I act like a daddy, whih is kind of right (always working, coming home demanding supper, etc lol).
Erica Reply:
January 19th, 2009 at 7:12 am
Susan Anderson – Oh that definitely sound familiar! Except that During the day Sophia comes to the bathroom with me and Sophia is called rubber band girl at gatherings cause she only strays a short distance away and then bounces back to me. Two languages at once – what a lucky girl! I keep trying to find places to practice Spanish so I can teach Sophia, but it’s not really working out.
January 17th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Chloe won’t even let me eat! I’m starving away to nothing. I need a break. It’s hard being at home with the kid and mind numbing. Calgon take me away! My body is running on caffeine only and my heart is starting to hurt
I say we ditch the others so they see what it’s like for a day.
Erica Reply:
January 19th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Henry Lau – I’m totally right there with you! I had the same problem until Sophia started real grown-up solid foods. Now I set her down with some Cheerios, cheese or whatever while I cook something up quick for both of us (we eat A LOT of eggs). After I feed her one bit from her dish I get one bite from mine, then I let her play with her empty dish while I shovel the rest of my food in.
As far as the mind numbing part, I just can’t wait till Sophia is old enough for real Legos so we can build cool stuff. Those Mega Bloks are CRAP! And maybe if she wasn’t so clingy I could read, learn to bake, and update my blog for Susan
January 18th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
sometimes as much as you hate the crying and clingy-ness, you have to learn how to let her cry a bit….if you pick her up every time she cries or has a fit, she knows that that is what is needed to get your attention. my daughters’ cheer coach has a boy who is about 18 mos i would guess..he’s very attached to her, doesn’t like to be away from her, cries if she doesn’t pick him up….she caters to his every need. now she’s about to have baby no 2 in about 4 wks, can you imagine what that is gonna be like? he doesn’t like not having his mom’s attention as it is. yikes.
trust me, you don’t want to end up like me with a daughter who will be 10 nxt mo and STILL throws fits and cries. pisses me off. i actually ignored her one day and went in my room and took a nap lol
Erica Reply:
January 19th, 2009 at 8:14 am
ciara – I don’t *totally* cater to her. I pick her up in the morning to hug and cuddle for a few minutes, but if that’s not enough for her she spends the rest of the morning crying and following me around as I get things done. That’s why I need a break. My ears are still ringing from the other day! lol She isn’t like this ALL the time but there are those days and after a string of them I’m just totally wore out.
January 19th, 2009 at 9:47 am
We haven’t laughed so much in days!!!
January 19th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I sympathise completely with you….My son Jeremy sounds very much like your daughter….very clingy and wanting me for everything…I find it very hard to get anything done. If i sit down, he wants on my lap, and I can’t even take a pee by myself…
I have a three month old now, and finally he is starting to get a little more independence..but he is also talking now…I know what your going through…
He also wakes up at night and wants me…and has massive tantrums if i don’t respond quickly enough..
There is hope…hang in there….Once they start to talk it really does make a difference….
Erica Reply:
January 19th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
elijahssong – thanks so much for the support.
Oh I can’t wait for her to verbalize what she wants! I realize I may regret those words but for now communication sounds good.
January 19th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Erica, You’ve heard of catnip? Well I’ve discovered baby nip. It’s called Elmos World. It gives me 20 to 30 minutes of time where Chloe ignores me and attentively listens, sways, claps, and dances to everything Elmo says. I hate Elmo, but I’m willing to sacrifice my own personal comfort for “some” free time. If Sophia likes it, well, then you can blog more for Susan
P.S. I also hate Barney, but again, Chloe likes it. However, it isn’t as addictive as Elmo, but it helps.
Erica Reply:
January 20th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Henry Lau – *cringe* I don’t know if I could take Elmos World. I’ve seen it a couple times. Thankfully Sophia doesn’t show any interest in TV (except M*A*S*H). I’ve turned on Clifford the Big Red Dog and Curious George but she doesn’t even look at the screen. She’ll sometimes occupy herself with toys for a while but then she’ll want me right there on the floor with her. Is there any other baby nip that you know of?