Brainy baby is plotting against me. I think she’s determined to drive me crazy. She doesn’t talk, but I’m sure she can read and her preferred material seems to be my blog. Crafty baby must have read my post about being clingy because for the past two days has done a total 180.

Tuesday was only different in that I had the TV on in the morning while I got ready for swimming and fed Sophia. I saw the fanfare and listened to the commentary leading up to the event and then Sophia and I left for her swim class. I didn’t get to watch the inauguration as it happened, but that’s ok. I know that even though Chief Justice John Roberts, who should know the constitution backwards, forewords, and upside-down, royally screwed up the presidential oath, Barack Hussein Obama is our rightful president. I can’t say the same for the two terms of the previous presidential squatter. But I digress.

Sophia and I went swimming as usual. She did a lot more kicking than normal and wore herself out. She fell asleep on our way from swimming to Target to pick up some different new sippy cups. Yep, I finally gave up trying to get her to use the AVENT sippy cups and sent those away to a second hand store. I took sleepy head out of her car seat and sat her in the cart sideways all reclined. I though she was still asleep under all her hair but I guess she was just slowly waking up. Either way it was a pleasant Target trip. I bought two Playtex Sipster Spill-Proof cups and one Playtex Coolster Tumbler. She’s not old enough for the Coolster yet, but I can see it being useful in the future.

Towards the end of the shopping trip she became her more normal self, and by that I don’t mean that I needed to carry her like a football as she screamed up and down the isles. A normal trip consists of her pushing the cart herself while holding my purse at her insistence. Please don’t send her any “born to shop” t-shirts. I will burn them. I’m not joking.

I don’t mind her pushing the cart at all. I hang onto the handle to direct and she happily pushes it all over the place. The part that I do mind is that I can’t find a break leaver on the child. I wind up passing the item I’m looking for, rounding the corner, and passing it a second time this time catching the price. If I like the price, we make a third pass where I snatch the item and stealthily lob it into the cart. It’s a good thing I go in knowing what I want because if I had to comparison shop this way I think I’d go quite mad. It literally makes the trip last three times longer than it needs to be, but it wears the child out and that makes me happy. It all boils down to me and my happiness. I’m a selfish bastard.

The ten-minute catnap in the car was enough to throw the whole nap routine off so we ate lunch, read books, and practiced the alphabet and numbers. She finally went down at three and didn’t wake up until Kurt got home. Use of the new tippy cup went well except that she doesn’t tilt her head enough to finish it all. And as usual, there was some crying and lamenting by the child while she was baby-gated out of the kitchen so I could cook. After diner, I sat on the chair in front of the TV and watched Kurtie play with Sophia. She started getting fussing and crying about something and reached out for me, so Kurt lifted her towards my lap. I glared at him, “why, so she stops crying?” OHMYGOD it’s not *just* me! He bowed his head, “oh, you’re right.”

Sophia hasn’t been fussy since, seriously! On Wednesday I went grocery shopping, which by the way does not entail letting the child push the cart. Grocery shopping involves letting the child hold limes, apples, or other fruit or vegetable or canned food that she cannot destroy. It’s our system and it works. Don’t fuck with the system.

After shopping and checking the mail we head home where I put her and as much as I can carry in one trip into the house. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.” I grab the other bags from the car. I return expecting a red face and crocodile tears. Nope, she was just fine. Later I corralled her upstairs while I made trip trips three million trips up and down doing laundry. Not a problem. She was also fine in the evening while I cooked, a first in I don’t know how long.

Thursday was a day of many advances and much cuteness. I made oatmeal for breakfast before swimming and blew on it to cool it off for Sophia. I looked up to see that she was copying me and blowing as well. I sent a spoonful in her direction, “blow” I told her, and she did before taking a bite.

After breakfast I put her in her jacket and told her to wait while I went to start the car so it could warm up. I came back to perfectly content child.

In the swimming locker room, she waved hello to the kids and parents that we see most often, as opposed to the ones that seem to only show up on the first and last sessions. She also let the swim instructor hold her for a moment without making any contorted, “Where’s my mommy” faces. He only ever holds the kids for a second then passes them back to their parent. This time it was like she knew that. On the way out, she waved good-bye to her latest crush, a two and a half year-old boy with huge blueberry eyes.

At dinner I gave her a little of everything we were having including some guacamole, which she ate by taking little pinches and sucking it off her fingers. She waved to get my attention. I asked her what she wanted and she did the sign for more, correctly.

After dinner I went up to our room to read while Kurt played on my computer and Sophia entertained herself by arraigning some board books that come in their own case. She actually entertained herself even though I was within her view but not on the floor with her. Amazing!

Have you ever had a problem with something like a computer and everyone tries everything known to fix the problem but nothing works. Then one day you decide to see if it works and it does. People ask, “What did you do?” I just did what I tried before, but this time it worked. I don’t get it, and thinking about it is going to cause me to need the number of an insane asylum. It’s all part of her master plan isn’t it?

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