I sent out an email to friends and family informing them that I’m dropping one of my many email addresses and that we’re canceling our PO Box. I had one friend ask why all the changes and I wound up writing an email that turned into a possibly entertaining blog post.
Well since I’ll be changing my last name, I think the email switch is obvious.
The P.O. Box is a huge pain in the ass since I don’t work and drive by everyday and it’s out of the way for Kurt. It also costs extra and people were not consistently using our box address so I still had to deal with our incredibly retarded postal woman who would come by to tell me that she’s doing me a HUGE favor by dropping off our packages since we didn’t have a mailbox (our mailbox was kicked down by some teenagers and we didn’t feel like putting it back up). In a way she was doing us a favor because she legally isn’t supposed to drop off our mail without a mailbox even if’ it’s a package that would need to be left at the door anyway. But really, it wasn’t a big deal to me if she had to return a package since we’ve repeatedly told people that if they’re going to mail us something via USPS to use the PO Box, so the fact that I was forced to interact with her wasn’t a favor at all. She kept telling me, “Some companies don’t ship to PO boxes”.
“Yes, I know. That’s why we give *them* our street address.”
“But I’m not supposed to deliver to your street address.”
“If they don’t accept a PO Box it’s because they ship via Fed EX or UPS”
“You need to tell them to send your mail to your PO Box.”
“I tell everyone to send mail to our PO Box”
“I’m not supposed to be giving you this but I didn’t want to return to sender. I already had to return one last week.”
“Yes, I know. I just got that one the other day.”
“Oh, they forwarded it to you?”
“No, I gave the sender the PO Box address”
“I didn’t think that they would send it to your PO Box. A lot of companies won’t ship to PO boxes.”
MYGOD WOMAN YOU’RE A FUCKING IDIOT!!!! GET OFF MY GODDAMN PORCH BEFORE I SHAKE YOU! I’M AFRAID YOU’LL MAKE EVERYTHING AROUND YOU STUPID AND I DON’T WANT TO CATCH IT!!!
The package in question was from a friend that didn’t know our PO Box and didn’t realize that we couldn’t get mail at our house if it was shipped using USPS.
I really wish she didn’t do us the “favor”. I would have been perfectly ok if she had just done her job and sent it back to the sender just like the other package. Just follow the fucking rules. It’s your job. And if someone questions why their package was returned you’ll be able to enlighten them with the simple rules and not some plea for a pat on the back for breaking the rules and going the extra mile while taking up their time and irritating the crap out of them. Twit. Stupid people make my ass twitch. They really do.
Now that Kurt put up a shiny new mailbox, all I have to worry about are the truckloads of mail she loves to dump on us that don’t have our address for sender or recipient. She gives us mail for addresses that aren’t even close to ours. Not even close if you pretend that the numbers could look like a different number. The names aren’t remotely close. They aren’t even close to the names that lived here for the twenty years before us. We don’t live in a rental. There has only ever been one other owner besides us and we’ve been here for five years. I think she just uses us as the catchall for addresses she’s too stupid to find.
My favorite thing to do (because I derive pleasure from doing evil) is to circle the intended address and write right on the letter/envelope, “Try sending it here. If that doesn’t work send it back here (arrow to the return address). It does not go to (enter my address).” It’s my own little low tech version of “Where’s George?” And this way people know why the birthday cards to grandma were so late. Yep, that’s right, one time I got not one, but three birthday cards not addressed to us from someone’s grandchildren. All three had the address very clearly written on it and it wasn’t even close to ours. Not even in the same neighborhood. Dumb dumb dumb. *twitch*
I replaced “stupid” with “lazy” in half of your uses of the word. To make it funnier for me, I read “lazy” in the half where “stupid” would have been the appropriate choice. I’m in that kind of mood.
Sophia’s Christmas present is in my closet. Your mail carrier is REALLY BAD.
Very Funny. I was laughing the time I was reading it. Sometimes I wish I could say that to people too but I had to hold my tongue.
LMAO the whole time I was reading. You should totally send this to your postmaster!
Honeybell – Actually I was thinking about saving up all the miss-mailings she gives us over a couple weeks and hand it to someone at the post office. I don’t *really* want to get her fired, but gah! They should know just how bad she is.
Our tax dollars at work. I sometimes think the USPS is a half-way house for the mentally deficient.
Gramma Claudia – hahahahahahahaha!!!!
It would explain A LOT!!