At one of the two playgrounds I frequent with Sophia, I overheard something that just made my ass twitch. This particular playground has a toy that mimics a front loader by use of two handles; one that lifts the ‘bucket’ and one tilts the ‘bucket’. A boy of about six or seven was operating the stationary front loader. He hadn’t been at this toy for more than five minutes. His mother stood right next to him. A girl walked up and politely asked the boy if she could have a turn. The boy’s mother in a syrupy voice said, “Oh she asked politely. I know you’ll do the right thing.” The boy stood up with his head down and left the toy to the girl. His mother began to praise him but he didn’t look up. She took his arm to turn him towards her and said, “I’m so glad that you made the right choice. I’m very proud of you.” The boy with his head still down, simply moved on without acknowledging any of the praise for his ‘choice’.
She didn’t really offer a choice and I don’t think he learn the lesson she wanted to teach. All he did was probably save himself a few minutes of nagging and lecturing where he would sit perfectly still gazing blankly at something while drooling from boredom. Poor kid. By the reaction of the boy I’d guess that this isn’t a new technique that mom is trying out. I bet that she proudly displays a helicopter mom certificate over the mantel which made its way there by her passively aggressively ruining her spouse’s “dogs playing poker” painting that once hung in it’s place.
I know everyone wants his or her child to be polite, courteous, and nominated best toy sharer on the whole planet but there is something to be said for the kid that can look another in the eye and say, “Not right now it’s my turn and I’m not done yet.” It shouldn’t matter how nice the other person asked. Maybe the girl needs to take a few lessons in waiting her turn.
Seriously can someone explain to me why giving up his turn was the ‘right’ thing to do just because she asked nicely?
Random woman: May I please have sexual intercourse with your husband?
Me: Well shit, I guess I have to say yes since you asked so fuckin’ nicely.
(Kurt, don’t get all excited. Nobody has asked for your hot body. Even if they ask nicely, I won’t say yes. It’s my turn F-O-R-E-V-E-R. *maniacal laugh*)
My actual problem with this hovering mom isn’t the lesson she was failing miserably to teach it was that she stepped in at all. Go sit on a fuckin’ bench already and let the damn kids work it out themselves! It’s a playground. It’s a place meant for playing. It is possible to learn appropriate social interactions without perpetual guidance.
Your ass twitches over the strangest things Erica….
But I do sort of agree with you, It’s a playground, take your turn.
Now…Could you please fetch me a beer?
G-Man – I was twitching because I can so relate to the boy. *tosses G-Man a cold beer*
HAhahaha…Poor Kurt..so close to be allowed to share! Loving it Erica..Now convince Henry to stop wrapping Chloe in cotton please. The girl needs to be allowed to go to a playground, lol
Susan Anderson – He wasn’t that close really. hehehe
(pppssttt Henry when you take Chloe to the park she will wear herself out and take a LONG nap.)
How DOES one’s ass twitch?
JaniceNW´s last blog post..If You Could Read My Mind………….
JaniceNW – With great ease depending on the annoyance level. LOL
Awesome! I thought I was the only one troubled by this. (I should have known I could count on my wife to view it the same way as me…)
When Cierra demands something or whines, I let her know that that was not the right way to ask for something, and have her try again. But I will caution her that just because she asks nicely, I might still say no… I have that right. I want her to know that not asking nicely will cause her to not get something that she might otherwise have had, but I don’t want her to think that a simple “please” will guarantee her everything.
“It is possible to learn appropriate social interactions without perpetual guidance. ”
Agreed. Without parental guidance, kids will either get it right and be rewarded, or get it wrong and face the natural consequences. Either way, it’s a learning experience. Adults should only step in when the kid(s) are in imminent danger of real harm. Now, tie your shoelace or I’ll spank you!