Projectile Vomiting Ninja Cat

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I’m a horrible mom.  I sat on the spare bed while Sophia tapped on the keys of my laptop then she wanted up on the bed with me.  I pulled her up in front of me, while simultaneously leaning back and rolling to the side so that she would be beside me on her back.  But as I rolled my hand rubbed on a blanket on the bed.  It felt wet and I let Sophia drop onto the bed.  She landed right in a pile of cat puke.  I swear I had no idea it was there.  That stealthy little ninja bastard in a fur coat puked without me hearing it.

He’s so way off schedule.  He never pukes during daylight hours.  What the fuck is up with that?  Who gave him permission to change his hours?!

I’ve become accustomed to waking up at two, three, or four in the morning to the rhythmic sounds of, “Aaack hhck aack”.  Usually those sounds occur in the small hallway space between the bedrooms.  That patch of carpet has been cleaned more than any other part of the house.  All the bedrooms lead to that space and that’s as far as the cat seems to be willing to travel in order to puke privately.  Although there have been a couple very notable times aside from this one in which he changed up the routine a bit.

There was the time that in trying to get off our bed to puke he only made it as far as the footboard.  I could hear the sound of water splatter everywhere.  Because it was night, I only thought of the floor and cleaned up what I could find in dim light.  It wasn’t nearly as much as what it sounded like.  In the morning I saw some splatter on Kurt’s dresser.  I wiped it down, then for some reason thought to check inside the fully closed drawers.  I had to wash everything in the bottom two drawers.  It was EVERYWHERE!

The other memorable cat puke moment was the time Bailey was sleeping on Kurt’s stomach and began to hack up a fur ball.  The sound and motion woke Kurt, but only enough for him to sit up, nudge me, and yell, “Get him, Go Go Go!”

This post has been brought to you by Hills x/d and c/d feline prescription diet with chicken and the color tan.

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10 thoughts on “Projectile Vomiting Ninja Cat”

  1. I like how you confess to dropping your kid in a puddle of cat puke, then spend the rest of a moderate-length post distracting us with other cat puke stories. You didn’t fool me, Erica! I heard the part where you put your little girl in puke! I’m not gonna call you a terrible mother (because, trust me, I know terrible mothers, and you’re not it), but I’m warning you… Sophia will remember this… somehow… and when she’s a teenager, she’s going to get back at you for it. Mark my words.
    .-= smarmoofus´s last blog ..55 Flash Fiction: Honesty =-.

    • smarmoofus – Damn it I can’t ever get one past you! LOL And what do you mean ‘going’ to get back at me for it? She’s puked on me before, several times in fact. If anything I was just paying down a debt. :P

  5. poor sophia tossed in the cat puke. she’s gonna be scarred for life lol

    first of all, i am not a cat person. second, i absolutely HATE throw up of any kind. even i will suppress the urge to puke cos i don’t want to feel or taste it. i also have a seriously high gag factor so puke of any kind will cause a chain reaction, if you know what i mean.
    .-= ciara´s last blog ..FF-55 (Yeah,this one is number 55 hehe) =-.

  6. No worries–she’s too little to hold it against you (but it’ll make for a great story to embarrass her in front of her friends one day.)

    I’m sorry that my 2 himalayan cats died, but I DO NOT miss stepping (half asleep) in hair ball cat puke 4 mornings out of 7!
    .-= Christy´s last blog ..Savoring Summer =-.