I had been dreading it since the last checkup, six months ago. At every Baby Wellness checkup I feel like I say, ‘no’ to the majority of the baby milestone questions. This time (October 8th) was much better. I only said no to two questions: Is she eating a balanced diet?

I told the nurse, “no” and said that Sophia only eats “white foods”. I received a confounded look. I hear all these TV and radio ads explaining how to ensure a balanced diet by eating a variety of colors. Apparently, not everyone goes by the rainbow method. Judging by the initial look she probably thought I meant that were a bunch of racist pricks but acknowledge that our food is inferior. That’s not what I meant.

I cited examples, “bananas, apples, rice, and bread”. You know, white foods. It doesn’t matter how small I chop carrots to mix in, Sophia still eats rice one grain at a time, unless it’s clumped together and she is sure the entire clump is rice. The nurse asked if Sophia likes pasta. “Sort of”, I replied. She suggested sneaking carrots in by pureeing them with spaghetti sauce. I guess the nurse is colorblind. Marinara is RED. Because Sophia is a white food elitist, the nurse also suggested giving a multi vitamin. I don’t think she fully understands the problem. New things are bad and flintstones vitamins don’t come in white. Despite Sophia’s anti food color-ism she has moved from the 20th percentile in weight to the 50th. She is currently 26.4 pounds. She still in the 75th percentile for height at 35 inches.

The other question that received a resounding “no” was, “Does she have more than twenty words?” Not even if I count the baby signs that she uses. Sophia has won the recommendation of a speech therapist. We’re currently waiting for them to call to schedule the appointment.

Her hearing is fine. She understands commands and can follow a two-step request. She simply doesn’t speak. I’m not worried about her intelligence at all, it’s just frustrating as hell. I hope that we get something other than, “well just work with her”. I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know how else to work with her. Some suggest videos, to which I respond, “how did we ever learn to speak before TV was invented?” Others suggest it’s because it’s just the two of us all day. I don’t know where they get that idea since I’m never home. I spent my whole summer at the park with Sophia and we were not alone. I also take her swimming twice a week where she hears me chatting with other moms and she receives interaction with them and the instructor.

Previously the nurse suggested that I probably anticipate her needs and therefore she doesn’t need words. The thing is, her needs are the first words she had. As soon as she learned the signs for milk, apple, and banana I forced her to use them when she wants food outside of meal time. I accept signs for things because if she were a deaf child those would be her words. It’s something she has learned in order to get a specific item, but the things she learned to sign she never attempts to say even though I say use word before giving her anything.

One of Sophia’s swim instructors overheard me talking to another mom about her lack of words and suggested that I just not give her things until she says the word. Yeah I did that after her eighteen-month appointment up until twenty-two months. You want to know what happens when I do that with my child? Four months of meltdowns and screaming. I did this with non-essentials and no words came of it. Sophia would have a thirty-minute fit and then move on. There’s no prying words our of this one.

And if I hear just one more person insisting that I just enjoy the wordlessness because I’m going to regret it when she starts talking – I’m just going to fuckin’ scream. Oh and I’ll send you my mute toddler because clearly you have no idea how frustrating it is to have such a demanding little person that won’t speak.

Related posts: