Baby Squeezins Archive
Our personal selection of those diapers voted nastiest diaper of the month
Because she’s been eating mostly bread, this months’ diaper isn’t one in a million, but one of many. Since she’ll only eat one solid type food reliably, I try to make it a healthy choice. I looked all over for a bread that doesn’t have high-fructose corn syrup yet tastes good (Sophia and I like it). It is of course found in the “dirty hippy vegan” section of the grocery store. The bread I buy for her isn’t made from flour. It’s made from sprouted wheat grain and the version I buy is called “squirrel bread” for all the finely chopped up sunflower seeds in it. Why am I telling you this? See for yourself. Taken on the 16th of October with my Nikon D60 for your high resolution pleasure, I now present to you the highly disgusting, Baby Squeezins – Diaper of the Month.
I think I can see little bits of undigested squirrel in there.
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Relax, it’s just peanut butter. There were a total of seven entries for the Diaper of the Year contest. I posted four of the emails in my plea for more votes post, and here are the other three:
Hallie
July speaks to me. Don’t ask why but I just kept coming back to it. I think it really “shines” amongst the rest!!
Speaks to you eh? And uuumm what does it say? 
Blake and Lauren
We are voting for December’s diaper of the month for two reasons: it’s our birthday month and we LOVE your T-shirt Sophia!
Sophia thanks her younger twin cousins
Angel
I knew I would choose this one as soon as you announced the contest, but I procrastinated. I vote for May’s diaper simply because it has sponsorship. Happy almost one-year Sophia (and her milk cart)!
You procrastinate? Really? Not YOU!
No, you don’t get a break from the real me just cause you’re pregnant!
Ok, for those that can’t count there are a total of seven votes (no, a twin vote doesn’t count as two sorry). One vote for each of the following: February, April, May, and December.
With three votes the champion of the 2007 diaper posts was *drum roll* July!
The reasons varied from:
- Sophia trying to help me with the clean one (from Sarah)
- Pure “classic poop” “gloop” factor (from smarmoofus)
- And because it “talks” and “shines” (from Hallie) - It’s quite a talented shit!
Let’s hear it for JULY!
And now for the winner of the contest. (All entrants were equally eligible to win even if the diaper post they picked was not the winning one.) Again with the drum roll…
Congratulations Susan Anderson! You won the prize. Oh, and I’m going to give you a choice. You can either go with the original prize of a 300-gram bar cube of Savon de Marseille or choose the surprise prize. No, I’m not going to tell you what it is or it wouldn’t be a surprise. I will tell you that it is not a dirty diaper nor a lifetime supply of dirty diapers. It isn’t even a peanut butter diaper nor a clean diaper. It actually has nothing to do with diapers at all.
For those that didn’t win there are still five full days to take advantage of the 30% discount offered to Mom’s Journal readers by the Savon de Marseille manufacturer. Just use the promo code MOMSJOURNAL at checkout.
For the second time, there were three contenders for the prestigious title of “Diaper of the Month”. One of them resembled an oil slick and the other looked like a salad that had been through the paper shredder. They made for some interesting photos, but I had to pick the first one I took for this month. The diaper was a morning one taken on the fourteenth that reeked so bad I was sure it would require half a bag of wipes and therefore a worthy contender for the coveted diaper of the month prize. To my shock, yet delight for a no-fuss no-muss poo, I saw this tiny little shit.
It’s simply amazing that such a little thing can cause such a big stink. Happy Birthday to my little shit.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m forcing the votes to be emailed in or that the prize isn’t very enticing, but I only have four votes so far. I know that it isn’t because people think it’s so gross that they avoid looking at the Baby Squeezins posts since I get more hits on the 25th of each month than on any other day. Seriously, my hits more than double on that day each month. So really, stop pretending you’re too refined to pick a diaper post and vote. I know you’re out there.
The current entries:
Susan
Thanks for the retrospective! Well, which do I vote for? The one that brought tears to your eyes or the Barney the Purple Dinosaur poop? It was tough, but in honor of you and Kurt I’ll pick February. Nine years of shit deserves some recognition
more my speed
hahaha - you crack me up! I’m not sure if I feel honored that you picked the anniversary poop or mortified that this is really all we get for nine years! Oh and I changed the math question just for you. It’s not 1 + 1, but it’s a little closer. Ok ok, I know it’s too late to benefit you.
Sarah
I vote for July because she was just trying to help put that nice clean diaper on for you!
hehe - yeah she’s helpful like Gavin is thoughtful.
Sarah
I would have to vote for April. The color is almost an exact match to the color I painted our living room this spring.
hahaha - OHMYGOD, really? If you need any touch up paint, ever… I’m just sayin’. I’m here to help. *smirk*
smarmoofus
After narrowing it down to the two very similar specimens of April and July, I finally tossed a diaper and chose July for the sheer “gloop” factor of it running down her rear. It just has that classic poop look. Y’know?
I donno, when I think classic poop it’s usually more solid, but that’s just me. In my book, “Gloop” typically means someone is ill. If you’re going for true poopy visual yuck factor, “Gloop” is it!
Even though I don’t have many votes I’m so glad I made this a totally open vote because the reasons just crack me up. Thank you to those that have played so far.
To enter the contest, go to my original contest post for the rules and list of diaper posts to choose from. Contest ends on the 24th at 7pm Pacific time.
The 25th is Sophia’s first birthday. To commemorate a year of Baby Squeezins Diaper of the Month I’m hosting a contest.
Vote for your favorite Baby Squeezins Diaper of the Month using your own criteria (most disgusting diaper, best story behind the picture, etc.) by sending me an email with your pick. You can leave a comment on this post as well if you wish, but your vote will only count if you send me an email. All voters will be entered to win a 300-gram bar cube of Savon de Marseille. (300 grams is about 10.5 ounces, which is about two and a half normal sized bars of soap)
Here are the Diaper of the month Posts to choose from (the first post actually contains two separate diaper of the month pictures – if you’re choosing that post please indicate which diaper/month you’re actually voting for):
Your vote must be in by 7pm Pacific time on the 24th. I will randomly select the soap winner by writing all the email addresses on a piece of paper and having Kurt or Sophia draw one out of a hat/box/whatever we can find and make an announcement at midnight (Pacific time) on the 25th with the diaper of the year selection and winner of the soap. That way if you don’t win you’ll have six full days to take advantage of the 30% discount offered to Mom’s Journal readers by the Savon de Marseille manufacturer.
Hi there and thanks for your nice words about our Savon de Marseille. It’s no wonder SDM has been trusted for generations in France - long before there were chemical detergents that strip skin of just about everything. For you and your friends / readers we’d like to offer a special 30% discount for the month of September. Just use the promo code MOMSJOURNAL at checkout. Best regards, French Soaps — makers of Savon de Marseille.
This month there were three contenders for the prestigious title of “Diaper of the Month”. Two of them were of the peanut butter consistency that seems to up the gross factor by at least tenfold even without the smell adding to the equation. But for a change of pace I though I would show how the diapers are evolving from an elephant snot like goop to somewhat formed poop now that Sophia has finally taken to enjoying some solid foods.
One of her favorite foods is sweet potato, but as any true poopologist would know, this picture doesn’t show the result of a sweet potato meal. Those tend to be redish orange and have a thick paste or clay like consistency. This poop is from a mixture of solid foods, a true sign of her evolution.
Taken August 12th with my Nikon D60 for your high resolution pleasure this months highly coveted, “Baby Squeezins - Diaper of the Month” goes to this semi-formed brown dropping.
I knew this one would be a top contender for the diaper of the month if not the ultimate Baby Squeezins for July. My first hint besides the farty sounds was the smell. I had a cold and very plugged up nose but was not excluded from smelling the plastic wrapped gift that had not even been opened yet. I opened it and Ta-DA! I receive instant mess. This wasn’t even the fault of trying to hold everything just for a picture. She literally had it all over as soon as the Velcro-like sound was heard. Her right foot, left thigh, left hand and arm – she was holding the fresh clean new diaper that was going to replace the soiled one, but that one needed a replacement as well.
Brought to you by the letter “D” for drippy and “M” for messy, this Baby Squeezins diaper of the month was taken on July 7th with my awesome Nikon D60. So without further doo, I present to you the baby squeezins diaper of the month. *Drum roll*
I’m late, I know. I’m sorry for any undue stress my tardiness may have caused. The little human petree dish gave Kurt and I some sort of mid-evil not-a-flu that hit us so hard that even Kurt called in sick. Our little darlin’ is such a giver. *eye flutter and dreamy-like smile* Speaking of giving, here is this month’s donation to the Baby Squeezins Diaper of the Month. Brought to you by the color green and taken on June 6th (that’s 6/6/08) with my awesome Nikon D60.
This is the reason I STILL cannot figure out why it’s necessary to wipe girls front to back. You see my finger at the bottom of the picture - that’s the front of the diaper.
This month’s diaper of the month is brought to you by Gerber first foods, prunes and the color purple (not the movie the actual color). As it turns out a diet consisting only of Gerber Single Grain Cereals, Rice, and Oatmeal will plug up the baby (she is still getting her breast milk, those were just the only solid foods she was actually consuming).
On Monday April 28th the not-a-nanny and I were discussing how long it had been since either of us had changed a poopy diaper. This discussion ended with no follow through in solving the problem. On Wednesday April 30th during my lunchtime baby visitation, not-a-nanny and I realized neither one of us still had not changed a poopy diaper. Concerned not for the well being of Sophia but because I may not get a diaper of the month post up for my dearest readers I asked that not-a-nanny buy some prunes.
She gave Sophia some prunes that day and still nothing. The next day it was prunes for breakfast.
And then we got this…
Hardly seems like much after holding it in for FIVE or more days, but a little while later we got this…
It still doesn’t look like five days worth so I vowed that we would take a picture of every poopy diaper for that day. Unfortunately that was it for the day. The next day was the grand-poo-bah of poopy diapers, but I’m sorry to say I’ve failed you all. I didn’t take a picture and I really wish I had. It was PURPLE!
This diaper of the month is brought to you by Gerber Single Grain Cereal, Rice, and Oatmeal. When she was just on rice cereal her poop wasn’t too awful, but when you add a spoonful of oatmeal to the mix we get some pretty unholy crap! I used to be able to clean her up with a couple of wipes - not so much anymore. It’s like creamy peanut butter on the roof of your mouth. MMmmm don’t you want a PB&J now? This picture of poopy Play-Doh was snapped with the not-a-nanny’s Cannon digital SLR on the 29th of March, so this seventh month diaper is in super high resolution just for you!
