Baby Squeezins Archive

This month’s diaper of the month is brought to you by Gerber first foods, prunes and the color purple (not the movie the actual color). As it turns out a diet consisting only of Gerber Single Grain Cereals, Rice, and Oatmeal will plug up the baby (she is still getting her breast milk, those were just the only solid foods she was actually consuming).

On Monday April 28th the not-a-nanny and I were discussing how long it had been since either of us had changed a poopy diaper. This discussion ended with no follow through in solving the problem. On Wednesday April 30th during my lunchtime baby visitation, not-a-nanny and I realized neither one of us still had not changed a poopy diaper. Concerned not for the well being of Sophia but because I may not get a diaper of the month post up for my dearest readers I asked that not-a-nanny buy some prunes.

She gave Sophia some prunes that day and still nothing. The next day it was prunes for breakfast.

And then we got this…

Hardly seems like much after holding it in for FIVE or more days, but a little while later we got this…

It still doesn’t look like five days worth so I vowed that we would take a picture of every poopy diaper for that day. Unfortunately that was it for the day. The next day was the grand-poo-bah of poopy diapers, but I’m sorry to say I’ve failed you all. I didn’t take a picture and I really wish I had. It was PURPLE!

This diaper of the month is brought to you by Gerber Single Grain Cereal, Rice, and Oatmeal. When she was just on rice cereal her poop wasn’t too awful, but when you add a spoonful of oatmeal to the mix we get some pretty unholy crap! I used to be able to clean her up with a couple of wipes - not so much anymore. It’s like creamy peanut butter on the roof of your mouth. MMmmm don’t you want a PB&J now? This picture of poopy Play-Doh was snapped with the not-a-nanny’s Cannon digital SLR on the 29th of March, so this seventh month diaper is in super high resolution just for you!

This diaper of the month is brought to you by the letter “S” for SUPER STINKY. This diaper brought an onion cutting tear to all our eyes. We have brought our nanny to the dark side and she’s the one that snapped this picture with her Cannon digital SLR on the 22^nd, so this six month diaper is in super high resolution just for you!

It’s the 25th of the month and you all know what that means! This diaper is presented by Kurt doing his impression of Borat. This picture was taken on the 21st.

There isn’t any special story to go along with this month’s diaper. It wasn’t even a blowout or any other sort of super gross poo. Nope, this was just a regular run of the mill poo. Kurt just wanted to pose with a diaper and I snapped the shot. I actually took a similar shot last month but then used the one which came with a special poop story instead. This month I made sure to use it because I thought it would be a fitting anniversary present for him. Yep, we’ve been through NINE years of shit. Happy anniversary Honey - I love you!

Sophia lay across my waist on the Boppy pillow nursing while I sat upright in our recliner with my laptop on a tiny portable table. I was typing out a post about her new nap and nighttime sleep habits. Halfway through Sophia was finished nursing. I kept her on the pillow and she smiled, and cooed. Then I heard the wet peculating coffee sound from her diaper. I made note, but otherwise ignored it. I new there was more to come and I wanted to make sure she was done lest I get splattered while changing her. That hasn’t happened yet. *searches for wood to knock on* She has let out a couple little farts while I’ve changed her before, but nothing actually hit me. *finds that wood to knock on*

She let out her second set of “productive” farts and suddenly I felt something warm. OHMYGOD NO! EEEeeewwww! I pushed the table away. I kept Sophia in place by holding the Boppy pillow and keeping it all pressed against me till I made it upstairs to the nursery where I could lay it all on a changing pad. The Boppy pillow got out of it completely unscathed but the front of my pants and the shirt that tucked in them were both soaked. I needed to change clothes without a doubt and probably a shower.

I took Sophia’s onesie off without getting poop on her face, but with her arms and legs flailing and her latest development of an obsessive compulsive foot fetish - the child and I needed baths. This was the very same day she discovered her feet and thus my new annoyance with diaper changes. Poop was on her hands, arms, legs, and my hands. It was a mess under that onesie and diaper. Of course, she had to do this when we were sort of in a time crunch. I needed to get started on the bread pudding I was taking up to Bellingham for the football game later that day (poor Packers lost against the Patriots).

The thing that really had me scratching my head aside from the fact that she was wearing the “I (heart) mommy” onesie that Kurt bought for her on Christmas at the time was that when I took my shower Kurt popped her around the shower curtain and I gave her a kiss. I never ever thought I would kiss someone minutes after they literally just shit on me. Just so we’re clear - no, I’m not into that.

Month three’s diaper of the month was just a small blowout, but because of the onesie it happened on I couldn’t pass up picking this one as the top Baby Squeesins Diaper of the Month. Because this is a holiday squeezins we joked about calling it the Yule Log, but Sophia isn’t on solids so nothing is well formed, maybe next year. These pictures were taken on December 6th.

Before Sophia was born Kurt and I joked about posting a diaper of the month. I intended to post the first one on Sophia’s one-month birthday, but when the first month came and went, I gave up on the idea. Kurt however never forgot about it. He has been bugging me about it and won’t let it die.

So without further adieu, I present to you the baby squeezins diaper of the month for last month. Day three of her meconium diapers. Taken 9/28/07.

This month’s diaper of the month had poo front to back and a little seeping out the edge. Taken 11/17/07.