Category Archives: Engineer

My life with Kurt, the epitome of engineer, he is the ultimate “left brained” king of spreadsheets. Aside from still wanting to play Dungeons and Dragons or some other role-playing game like Vampire he is mentally an 80-year-old curmudgeon who seems to be highly allergic to change of any kind. Oddly, we are a perfect match.

Engineering Boobs

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A couple weeks ago, it came to Kurt’s attention that it really hurts when Sophia latches onto my boobs. The actual breastfeeding doesn’t hurt, but my nipples are incredibly sore. “Just from normal use?” he asks. What? Normal use? Up until the birth of Sophia it wasn’t normal for my boobs to serve about eight meals a day. It has never been customary for anyone to latch onto my nipples and gum them eight times a day for ten to twenty minutes at a time – Not that they never got attention just not with that frequency nor the same intensity. The only person that I can think of that may consider that the norm would be the psychotic woman from that family in Arkansas with 17 kids. “Yes” I said, “From ‘normal’ use”

“Wow, that’s just bad design.” He says.

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Big bellied lobsters

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Years ago after Kurt and I watched the episode of friends together where Phoebe talks about her “lobster theory” Kurt started to call me his lobster. And he really gets irritated if I don’t mimic the claw thing Phoebe did by taking my index finger and thumb and lock it with his.

Phoebe: Hang in there, it’s gonna happen.
Ross: What? Okay, now how do you know that?
Phoebe: Because she’s your lobster.
Chandler: Oh, she’s goin’ somewhere.
Phoebe: Come on, you guys. It’s a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin’ around their tank, you know, holding claws like…

This morning he was teasing me about something. I was really too tired to care which of the many things he was teasing me about, but as usual I told him I hated him. He gave his usual reply, “You LOVE me! I’m your lobster.” Then he goes on to say that I’m his lobster and I wondered out loud, “Do lobsters ever get big bellies that hang outside their shell a little?” Big fat lobsters.

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The day the music stopped

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Kurt woke me up. By the urgency in his voice it seemed important, but when I sat in front of the TV to see smoke pouring from one of the twin towers I was confused. It looked like a Saturday Night Live skit. I couldn’t figure out why Kurt woke me up. Both of us sat and watched quietly. He was shocked and I was still sleepy at that point.

I worked the swing shift (3pm to 11pm) as a security guard. It was the only job I could think of that would allow me to do homework while working. I was going to start my second year of college that fall.

As I started to wake up to the fact that this was in fact live and real TV it was time for Kurt to leave for work. I stared at the TV and figured it must be a horrible mechanical error. Maybe something happened to the pilot as in a heart attack or something. The idea that some group would attack the US never occurred to me.

Kurt gave me a kiss and left for work. I don’t remember discussing what we were watching on TV at all that morning. Normally we would be tossing ideas around and possible scenarios, but this was too big. It was too shocking.

I watched Kurt leave from where I was sitting on the couch. We were living in a rental house that we fondly refer to as the house of mold. I could see him through the picture window as he left the driveway and went down the street out of view.

My attention went back to the TV. I watched in silence as the second plane hit. Clearly, this was no accident. Some very well organized group or country was making a strong declaration. I knew immediately that my phone would be ringing soon and I would be called into work. Within minutes I received a call from the day shift supervisor. “Are you watching the news?”

“Yes”

“Can you uumm come in?”

In a daze, “Yes” I told the day shift supervisor. He explained that the powers that be wanted to beef up security at the site we worked. Considering the industry of that site, it was highly understandable. I didn’t want to miss a moment of what was happening on the TV screen, but I went anyway. I kept the TV on as I got ready to leave for work again and left just after seeing footage of specs that were clearly people jumping to their death.

I arrived at work to find the day shift supervisor hunched over listening intently to an old one-speaker clock radio the sight of which would have been hysterical if it weren’t for the situation. About fifteen minutes after I arrived at work we heard news that the South tower collapsed. We listened to the radio all day and during our rounds would stop and chat with the workers. I arrived back to the security center after my first set of rounds to hear on the radio that the second tower was collapsing. Everyone that had any kind of radio was listening to it and had at least two or three others listening with them. I don’t think a single bit of work was done that day. At the security center, people would stop by and chat with us, and we would compare the news of other airplanes being involved from one station verses the news from another. The whole day felt like the most realistic nightmare I had ever had. I was in an odd sort of trance that kept me very alert in regards to my job.

In the weeks to follow, it was simply amazing to see what seemed like the whole world rally around the US. It felt like we had finally come to the realization that the world is a tiny close-knit community and the differences between us were temporarily removed. It’s terrible that a tragedy is required to make us aware that we’re all the same. The bumbling idiot president rose to the occasion and did well until loose connections to Iraq were made and split us in half again.

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Kurt’s answer to traffic on I-5

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Last night Kurt made the comment that his commute was the shortest he had in the five years that we’ve lived in our house. He was just ecstatic. This morning I was reading the paper and came across this short article, “6-vehicle crash snarls I-5 traffic“.

Friday, September 7, 2007 – Page updated at 07:39 AM
6-vehicle crash snarls I-5 traffic
By Seattle Times staff
MIKE SIEGEL / THE SEATTLE TIMES

All lanes of northbound I-5 were shut down through Shoreline by a crash caused by a pickup with faulty brakes pulling a trailer, according to the State Patrol.

A six-vehicle crash that sent one person to the hospital and snarled traffic on northbound Interstate 5 through Shoreline on Thursday afternoon was caused by a pickup with faulty brakes pulling a camping trailer, according to the State Patrol.
All lanes of the freeway were shut down at about 3 p.m. near Northeast 175th Street. Traffic quickly backed up nearly six miles to Seattle’s Ravenna neighborhood, according to the state Department of Transportation.

A woman, a passenger in the pickup, was hospitalized with serious injuries, State Patrol spokesman Cliff Pratt said. No one else was seriously hurt.

The chain-reaction crash resulted when the pickup, from British Columbia, failed to stop, Pratt said.

The freeway was reopened at about 5 p.m.

Copyright © 2007 The Seattle Times Company

I sent the link to Kurt with the email subject, “What made your commute tolerable…” He replied with this email which he also sent to some friends…

I commented last night that my commute was the best in 5 years of living in *our city*.

The freeway was strangely quiet.

I thought there must have been an accident south of *area where he works*.

I enjoyed this so much, I’m praying for more 6 car pile ups.

I’m thinking I might buy some $50 junker cars and then pay homeless guys $20 to play demolition derby on I-5 in *city south of where he works* to the benefit of my commute.

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Pregnancy updates

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I know I’ve been slacking on the blog, but we’ve had quite a bit going on lately. Last week Kurt and I went to go see a lawyer about his paternal rights since we aren’t married. I find it disturbing that if a couple is married it’s just assumed that the baby belongs to the husband and his name is automatically on the birth certificate (maybe I just paid too much attention in the Navy to the hordes of wives at the bar when the squadrons were out to sea). In our case we have to fill out a paternity affidavit stating that he’s the father before his name can appear on the birth certificate. According to our lawyer we also have to do what is equivalent to the reverse of the parenting plan one would do for a divorce just to ensure that Kurt can legally take our daughter to the doctor and pick her up at school/daycare without me. I guess having his name on the birth certificate isn’t enough.

A couple days after our visit to the lawyer one of our many pregnant friends was sent to the hospital for bed rest so that the doctors can stop her contractions. At the time she was 31 weeks along with twins. Apparently her body thinks the babies are ready to come out – so far the doctors have been able to convince her body otherwise. Unfortunately she missed her own baby shower that was on Saturday. :( Hang in there M! Maybe we’ll wind up delivering together. :P

On Friday I had a doctor appointment, and I have another one this week (later today). As of last Friday I weigh in at 171 pounds and the baby has rotated to the head down – ready for birthing position. And her heart rate has slowed from the 140′s to 130′s – a good sign that she’s maturing properly. :)

I finally gave the doctor a copy of my birth plan. He said it was a great birth plan and that I should be a stand-up comedian. He also said that he and the nurses will make sure to stay clear of my hands. :P The only comments he had (other than the humor) was that the oral vitamin K that I would prefer doesn’t work. I had found a couple of sites that mentioned babies being more prone to childhood Leukemia after the vitamin K shots, but because they weren’t official scientific sites that I would give absolute trust I didn’t bring up that question. I had made my decision just because those sites raised the question and because oral drops seem a lot friendlier than shots.

The eye goop they put on newborns isn’t optional in Washington State. Apparently all doctors and midwives must administer the eye drops which are an antibiotic that help reduce the occurrence of blindness due to picking up bacteria and viruses on the way out of the birth canal (specifically gonorrhea and chlamydia). The odd thing to me is they do this even if the baby was born via cesarean. Anyway they don’t use Silver Nitrate any longer so it doesn’t burn or irritate quite so much.

The last thing the doctor commented on was the Hepatitis B vaccination. They no longer use vaccinations that contain thimerosal/mercury.

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New dad’s class

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Kurt’s “New dad’s class” was supposed to be on August 8th, but he didn’t go. It was his idea to sign up for that class in the first place, but he talked himself out of going. He figured as soon as he walked into the class with his motorcycle helmet the guys would tell him, “Oh you’ll have to give that up”. I guess he has already had a coworker talk to him about it and was amazed that I hadn’t *made* Kurt sell his toys, like I’m going to tell him what he can an can’t do with his own money or say he can’t have his one hobby.

I’m a little disappointed that he didn’t go because I was hoping that it would be a helpful class and make him a little less stressed about being a dad. What am I going to do though, scold him for not taking the class that was his idea to begin with? Anyway I think he might be doing better with the idea of having full control over a tiny human on his own. The other day he told me he was glad about the timing of her due date. I asked him why and he said, “Because she’ll be a week old when she gets to see her first motorcycle race with me.” – Awww that’s so cute (I almost cried). He added that she wouldn’t be able to see that far yet, so I told him he’ll just have to bring the TV closer :P

I know it’s just horrible that he isn’t talking about reading to her as part of quality time with dad, but at least it’s not “Baby Einstein“.

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I may as well have served chicken heads

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Yesterday I made stuffed bell peppers. I specify bell peppers because I occasionally (twice) make Chile Rellenos as well. I have a few dishes that I never really make the same way twice and stuffed bell peppers is one of them. Here is the basic recipe:

Four bell peppers
One can of diced tomatoes (14 ounce)
One can of black beans (14 ounce)
One can of salsa (4 ounce? – very small) or make a little of your own
A couple small slices of Monterey Jack cheese
Sour cream

Mix the tomatoes and beans together and stuff into peppers. Add a couple teaspoons of salsa and a couple slices of cheese in each pepper. You can either place the peppers in a crock pot and have dinner ready right after work or put in the oven at about 400 degrees Fahrenheit for about 45 minutes (I place the peppers in a enamel coated cast iron Dutch oven). Serve with a dollop of sour cream. Depending on the size of the peppers they may not be fully stuffed with just those ingredients and this is where the changes take place.

One time I made this dish and added some polenta. It was edible but I wasn’t impressed – never bought the stuff again. Another time I had some extra frozen corn from another dish I had recently made and so I added that. With both of those variants, Kurt took little notice. Last night I made it and cut up a couple carrots – he freaked out. “You added carrots!” he says with disgust. He likes carrots. I guess he felt they don’t belong in this dish at all! He acted like I may as well have served live chickens.

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Kurt as a dad

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On Friday, the BMW dealership called him in the late afternoon to let him know they fixed his motorcycle. If he went down there picked it up and came all the way back home we wouldn’t be able to eat diner until 8:30 at the earliest, and that’s assuming Friday traffic isn’t too bad. I asked him what he wanted to do. I suggested that I could follow him in my truck. He said no because he would be in the carpool lane (they gave him a loaner bike) and I would be stuck in regular traffic, so he came up with a plan. He told me he would go down, get the bike, and then call me when he’s about to leave so that I could take off from home and meet him about halfway for dinner out. That sounded good to me. He gave me the time frame for when I should be getting his call and as he’s leaving to get his bike he says sternly, “Now when I call just get in your truck and go. No, oh I had to go to the bathroom, feed the bird…” Raised eyebrow – Excuse me? When did I become his teenage daughter? And who is it that routinely makes us late for things? “Ok dad” I answered. He became all huffy and said, “Fine I’ll just come all the way back home and we can eat late.” He called me and we met halfway – no big deal. I even went to the bathroom AFTER he called. *eye roll*

I didn’t get any breakfast before leaving for our first baby class on Saturday so I brought a banana and an applesauce cup to eat on the way. I finished the banana and put the peel into the trash bag. Yes, I actually keep a trash bag in my truck. As soon as the peel is in the trash Kurt says with an authoritative voice, “Make sure to throw that trash out when we get back or you’ll have fruit flies in here.” What!?! Again with this micromanagement attitude? With one eyebrow raised, I saluted him – actual salute not the one-fingered kind. This is the second time he’s talked to me like that. What are you practicing your parenting skills on me?

I really hope that “New dad’s” class he’s going to take soon helps calm him down. And if Sophia is anything like me, I hope he realizes quickly that the micromanagement crap will get him NOWHERE after about age three, if anything it’ll work against him. Wish us luck – we’re going to need it!

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Sugar Plum

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Yesterday I finally managed to get Kurt to come to the baby store to check things out now that we know it’s a girl. I had a semi gender neutral snoopy themed decor picked out prior to knowing and asked him if he still wanted to stick with that. I pointed at a theme that I liked and he said he had his eye on that one too – The name of it is “sugar plum”. – my big strong man :P

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Kurt’s Idea of Teamwork

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A few weeks ago Kurt asked if I wanted to play City of Heroes. I did, but I decided that I wanted to play in the room where I already had my laptop set up. I logged into the game and Kurt demanded that move into the same room with him. “Why?” I dared to ask. He said, and I quote, “So I can tell you what to do.”

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