Category Archives: Engineer

My life with Kurt, the epitome of engineer, he is the ultimate “left brained” king of spreadsheets. Aside from still wanting to play Dungeons and Dragons or some other role-playing game like Vampire he is mentally an 80-year-old curmudgeon who seems to be highly allergic to change of any kind. Oddly, we are a perfect match.

Don’t Encourage Him

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Unless they’re a total glutton for punishment or simply love to torture me, anyone who knows Kurt knows not to ask any questions about math, science or history within his earshot. It is bound to turn into an endless lecture bouncing from one scientific, mathematical, and historical tangent to another. It doesn’t even matter if you preface your question with, “yes or no…?” His answer is bound to begin his answer with “It’s a warm summer evening in ancient Greece….”

A few evenings ago, we were driving home from working on the new house and Sophia noted, “Dawk ow-side”.

“Yes, it’s very dark outside.” I agreed.

“It wait.” She said.

“Actually it’s not very late yet.” Kurt said, “It’s getting dark earlier…Do you want to know why?”

“No” she answered without any hesitation.

I laughed hysterically. That’s my girl, don’t give him the opportunity!

Sophia at her third birthday party

November, 30 posts in 30 days nablopomo.com

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Trigger Happy Dad And The Social Butterfly

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Socially Sophia is still at the side-by-side stage of interaction with peers. As each week and month passes and her peers’ progress, she seems to stay the same or even regress at times. Sometimes she’ll leave our side to get toys to play with near us or in a quiet corner. At her best it’s side-by-side play and at her worst she won’t leave our arms for anything.

Tonight she played at my feet most of the time and near the end of the night I caught her smiling at a friend’s younger son having fun with a toy and it reminded me of a couple months ago when we were at that same friend’s house and Sophia was giggling at her older son’s silly antics.

As Sophia watched the older boy, I watched the concern on Kurt’s face grow. Finally, Kurt leaned to me and said, “She’s really paying attention to him.”

“Yes, I know.”

He took in a deep breath and asked, “Do you think it’s because he’s being silly or…?”

“Oh for chrissakes Kurt, she’s not even three yet!”

Put the shotgun away dad, we still have a few years. Could you imagine how tense Kurt would be if she were a little social butterfly?

Daddy helping Sophia open presents at her third birthday party

November, 30 posts in 30 days nablopomo.com

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Fear of Pumpkin Waffle Change

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A few months ago I came across a carrot pancake recipe from Weelicious. I didn’t use her exact recipe. Actually, I didn’t use her recipe at all. I used my own pancake recipe and just added the nuts, carrots, and cinnamon from hers. Well, I guess I didn’t warn Kurt that I was going to make that change because when he saw the carrot in his pancakes he started to say something about it. With eyes wide open I stared at him from the kitchen and then looked in Sophia’s direction to indicate I was trying to pull a fast one on the child. Gee I wonder where she gets her lack of food adventure.

Sophia did notice the shredded carrot but she must have eaten enough of it to realize that it wasn’t all evil. She didn’t try to pick out the carrot or eat around it like she does when I make blueberry pancakes, which is good because I put so much in there either task would be quite an undertaking. They have both has since eaten carrot pancakes several times and both are doing well.

More recently, I wanted a recipe that would use up leftover pumpkin puree, so I went into the Weelicious archives and found Pumpkin Waffles. This time I warned Kurt about the extreme act of deception I was about to orchestrate for the mornings breakfast. You should have seen the look of horror on his face. “Pumpkin puree in the waffle iron, won’t that ruin it?” He actually asked with a straight face.

Sometimes I wonder if my life would be easier if perhaps his degree were in chemistry and not engineering. Maybe I should look and see if Atlon Brown has a recipe for pumpkin waffles so that I can show the video to Kurt. Does Alton have any upcoming lectures on the science of how squishy fruits and veggies can be mixed in with bread recipes and it still turns out bready because you simply use less water, milk, or oil? Ruin the waffle iron, really? It’s not like I was just going to smear straight up pumpkin puree on it and call it a waffle.

By the way like all other recipes I find I never make them exactly the same. I always have to tweak something, so here are the changes I made to the Weelicious pumpkin waffle recipe ingredient list…

1 1/3 + ½ Cups All-Purpose Flour
2/3 Cup Whole Wheat Flour
1/3 Cup Light Brown Sugar
2 ½ tsp Baking Powder
1 tsp Baking Soda
½ tsp Salt
2 tsp Ground Cinnamon
½ tsp Ground Ginger
4 Eggs
1 Cup Milk (I used 2% milk)
1 Cup Buttermilk (I used low fat)
1 Cup Pumpkin Puree

I read somewhere that with most if not all quick bread (any bread not using yeast to rise) recipes 1/3 of the all-purpose flour can be substituted with whole-wheat flour. I only used half the amount of ginger, I used 2% milk (not rice “milk”), and I completely omitted the SIX tablespoons of butter. I didn’t even make a substitution and it turned out better than just fine.

November, 30 posts in 30 days nablopomo.com

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Chainsaw Massacre versus Fairy Princess

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Two weeks before Halloween, we went to the Halloween store trying to get costume ideas. Sophia was completely enthralled in the mechanical scary things. They had a mechanical Freddy Krueger, Pin Head, and some other character. All three were behind cages and rigged with a button to push in order to set them off. Sophia cycled between the three characters pushing the buttons for at least an hour. She seemed intrigued, almost as if she were analyzing their mechanical and electrical workings. It made me smile. That’s my girl!

At some point a woman in her mid-twenties passed by the same characters right in front of Sophia and told her companion that those mechanical dolls my three year old was watching with curiosity scared her. *blink* *blink* Really? It’s broad daylight.

A week later, we went to the costume store, again to seek ideas. Kurt pulled out a Super Girl costume and Sophia seemed interested in it. It was one costume where no headgear was required and it wasn’t some bulky suit that was so clearly not like clothing, so it could have worked for her. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find it in Sophia’s size.

Sophia wandered off to another isle where they had a mechanical guy raising up from the dead up on the top shelf. I don’t know if it was Sophia or Kurt that found the toy on the bottom shelf behind their viewing point of dude raising from the dead, but either way I was quickly summoned by Kurt to see my daughter just melt my heart. I rounded the corner to see Sophia wilding a battery operated chainsaw complete with fake blood splatter and laughing maniacally. Kurt grabbed another chainsaw and the two of them had a chainsaw sword fight in the isle as passersby laughed at the idea of such a cute little girl being a chainsaw murderer. Now THAT is my girl! Brings a tear to the eye. *sniff*

That is how we got out costume ideas. Kurt decided to be Jason wielding an axe, I was either going to be a victim covered in blood or a crazed pregnant lady covered in blood wielding a butcher knife, and Sophia would wear last year’s Wednesday Addams outfit and carry the chainsaw.

The next day we all went grocery shopping and the lady at checkout asked Sophia what she was going to be for Halloween. Kurt piped up and told her Sophia was going to be a chainsaw murderer. The lady laughed and then asked Sophia, “Are you going to be a fairy princess?” Sophia gave her a look of, “are you kidding me?” Oh she is so my girl.

Halloween didn’t work out quite as planned. Sophia wore her Old Navy Linus shirt with the Great Pumpkin on it, had her blanket and of course sucked her thumb. She didn’t want anything to do with trick or treating. Kurt and I still had fun visiting with friends and watching their kids run amuck gathering candy from strangers. At one point our friends’ daughter who is the same age as Sophia adopted Kurt and had him lead her around for trick or treating. It was adorable to watch.

November, 30 posts in 30 days nablopomo.com

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Sometimes Slow to Process

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I don’t remember when I started making my own sauces from scratch but I know it’s been over a year. After making a few batches of enchilada sauce and mole negro with a blender I finally figured out why so many people keep a blender and a food processor in their kitchen. Not that I know a lot of people making their own sauces from scratch but in doing so myself I figured out each machine has its strengths and weaknesses.

So I set out to find a good food processor. Once I found on that I liked I could have simply bought it. It wasn’t a budget crasher for us, but instead I simply added it to my Amazon universal Christmas wish list. I never received it, and I never bothered to buy it myself. I simply dealt with the blender. Now the model I chose a year ago isn’t sold at the store I found it in anymore, so a week ago I found another one I liked at Costco (Cuisinart® PowerPrep Plus® 14 Cup Food Processor) and pointed out to Kurt how useful it would be to have it. This one has a much higher capacity, which is an important factor for me since I make my sauces in large batches and freeze them in dinner size portions. He made the joke that he just bought me a house so I get nothing this year. I should really consider having him sign something after each time he makes statements like that. It’ll make for a much smoother divorce. The new house is so mine!

Yesterday I carved up the pumpkin that Sophia and I picked out last week at a playgroup field trip to the pumpkin patch. It was specifically selected as a pie pumpkin, so I cut it into sections, put it in the oven, and scooped out the pulp. Knowing that my blender would not function properly for the task of turning pulp into puree I then went through the arduous process of pressing it through a strainer. It took forever. I did most of it before Kurt came home but kept taking breaks to do laundry. When Kurt came home from work and saw my pumpkin puree process he said, “You know, I think that’s what people use food processors for.” He’s a genius.

“You know, if I had a food processor I would use it.”

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Captain Literal Laundry Basket

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On laundry days, Sophia loved to steal the smallest of my three baskets, the one I use to haul clothes up and down the stairs. This basket allows her to partake in her all-time favorite activity, putting things into containers. Sometimes she really loads up, taking toys off her shelves to put in the basket, and other times she only stows the favorites, Bear, Moose, and “Friend”. After an incident of stair tumbling I’ve since taught her to ask for help in hauling her basket of loot down the stairs. Sometimes she still thinks she can do it on her own, but generally, she’s pretty good about the rule.

I was sleeping in on one recent weekend day. Moose, Bear, and “Friend” were loaded into the basket and Sophia had indicated that she wanted the load to go downstairs. “Do you need help taking that down stairs?” Kurt asked, “Ok, hand me the basket.” Sophia then proceeded to take Moose, Bear, and “Friend” out of the basket and hand The Basket to Kurt. She then carries the three favored toys down the stairs herself. Kurt tossed the basket back up the half flight of stairs and Sophia gave him a look of, “Why the hell did you ask me for the basket if you didn’t want it?”

Kurt believes her literal interpretation of things is a sign we have a lawyer in the making.

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55 Flash Fiction Friday: Pregnancy Brain

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“He snapped his Achilles tendon playing softball.” Kurt said.

“Going to start teasing him about his age? Call him…oh who was that?…Not Hercules.”

Kurt raised his eyebrow, “Achilles.”

I buried my head in my hands knowing the torment about to come upon me.

“Who was the guy that died of Lou Gehrig’s disease?” He began.

Pregnant with baby boy

Picture taken 8/7/2010.

55 Flash Fiction Friday

Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.

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55 Flash Fiction Friday: Simply Attention to Detail

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Watching a show on luxury yachts, they went over the details of the dining area of a yacht and I said, “two hundred thousand a week and they can’t hire someone to straighten the candle sticks?” Kurt looks at me and says, “Sounds like you’re ready to be rich. You’re a pain in the ass.”

luxury yacht dining

55 Flash Fiction Friday

Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.

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The Giant Squid Head Upset

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Last week (Wednesday August 4th to be precise) when we sat down to dinner, Kurt turned on the show, “The Big Bang Theory” to which his friend, my apparent mortal enemy, introduced him. Yes, the show is hilarious, but sometimes I’d rather escape from reality and not live through the painful parts over and over again. I swear the writers of the show have been following Kurt throughout his life. By my estimation, the show is really a spinoff of the movie, “The Truman Show”.

In general, Kurt loves the technical accuracy of the jokes, but the episode we watched on that particular evening made a huge flaw. Really, it was a tiny flaw, but because it upset Kurt, we can both agree that it was a huge flaw. We were watching the second season episode, “The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition”. In that episode, Sheldon observes that Penny is mimicking the new tenant. Sheldon says, “Oh, mimicry. I enjoy mimicry. I’ve been working on Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi. “It’s a trap!” You have to imagine me with a giant squid head.” At this point Kurt’s eyes became huge.

This was the first time he had ever noticed a “gross error” in one of their geek references. As Kurt continued to fill his lungs with air, thereby removing most of the oxygen from the room, even Sophia noticed that a lecture was fast approaching. Before he had fully recovered from the shock of such a grave mistake enough to begin speaking Sophia shushed him. “Shshshshsssshhh,” she said with her finger to her lips. All I can say is at least I have a little ally.

Even though I didn’t care Kurt, as usual, explained in even greater detail than necessary what horrible atrocity had occurred. Apparently Admiral Ackbar is a member of the Mon Calamari race, a race evolved from salmon. The other race natives to planet Mon Calamari, the Quarren, evolved from squid.

mon calamari and quarren

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Word Interchange Exchange

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Sophia has problems pronouncing her “L’s”, and “R’s” but she can hear the difference in the way we say words and the way she says them. A few weeks ago before our July heat wave, which never hits on the weekend of the 4th, we did have a few nice days scattered around June. On one of those weekend days Kurt wore shorts with his motorcycle T-shirt. Sophia, displaying her powers of toddler observation pointed at Kurt’s black shirt and said, “bak shoot”.

“Yes, I’m wearing a black shirt” Kurt replied.

“gween shoots” She said pointing to his shorts.

“Close, sh-OR-tz. This is a black sh-IRT, and these are green sh-OR-tz.”

Sophia cocked her head like any confused pup, thought for a moment, furrowed her brows, and finally said, “gween PANTS” with attitude.

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