“What’s the special occasion?”
Dumbfounded he hesitantly said, “none”.
“I smell aftershave. You only shave on Sunday nights and it’s Wednesday.”
Laughing, “Tomorrow they’re taking pictures. I’m even going to wear my wedding tuxedo.”
“Did your boss tell you to not wear a t-shirt?”
“No, but he asked that I not wear a competitor’s shirt”
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
I received two prepaid postage envelops with the junk mail today. I use them to return junk mail. “Do you have anything you want to send back to Capital One?” I asked waving the envelopes.
“Yeah, I have to take a shit.”
“Ok but I’m going to make you the one to lick the envelope.”
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
“What age did we stipulate for the trust fund?”
“Twenty-five, I remember because we wanted her to live a little before receiving money so she doesn’t just blow it on things like fur necklaces.”
*blink blink blink*
“Fur necklaces? It’s a good thing I’m not into jewelry. You would really suck at picking anything good.”
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
“You know what I love about the Smurf toddler pictures?”
“No, what?”
“I love that you sat back with the camera and just let her do her thing. Some parents get all bent out of shape about that kind of thing.”
“Well then I did a whole lot better than that…I gave her the pen.”
The story behind the 55 and a little beyond: Last weekend we had a day set aside for potty training. I barricaded Sophia and myself in our basement floor because it’s tiled and there is a bathroom. We played with the big LEGOS and read lots of books. We got bored after a while so I gave her a blue pen and paper. I knew she would draw on herself a little but I ignored it. I heard her drawing on the paper and after about a minute turned to look at her and there she was, Smurf toddler.
Shortly after the pictures, I sat her on the potty and read a few more books while she did nothing. She did the sign for dirty and wanted to wash her hands at the sink so I let her. A couple minutes later she came out saying, “wet, wet, wet”. I’m looking at her like, “no shit, you were just playing in the sink.” Then I saw the blue trail from the ink washing off the bottom of her feet.
“Oh, you peed?”
“Yes.”
Kurt got a little bent out of shape about Smurf toddler. He asked me if it was a special washable pen. I said, “It was a pen off your desk. I’m sure it’ll come off eventually.”
A little later Sophia peed in the potty. She sat on the potty for about 30 minutes while I read to her. She started to go and then looked at me, “uh oh, wet, wet,” and she tried to hold it. Then she saw my big smile and realized it was a good thing, “Yay! Are you peeing in the potty?”
“Yes” she smiled.
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
Why is it that no matter how tired my kid gets she never falls asleep in public?
Last night Sophia was on her way to giving me a heart attack. She still likes to ride the rocking horse that her Auntie Vicky gave her for Christmas last year. Only now not only does she try to rock standing up but also without holding on to the handles. She was also rocking on it so hard (while actually hanging on) that she nearly tipped backwards. Maybe I’ll rethink my stance on bicycle helmets.
Sophia and I went to one of the many classes I’ve signed up for her today and we were the only ones there. Since we still had another step in Sophia’s evaluations, the instructor asked if we could just complete that while I was there. Absolutely! Anything to move forward with diagnosis and treatment works for me.
I was asked a ton of questions, and for the things I was unsure about we brought Sophia into the sensory room so that her actions and reactions could be observed. They really need to rename that room to the 70’s room. All it was missing was some gaudy-colored shag carpet. It had the mirror wall, beanbags, and bubbling tube of water that changes color with the press of a button that closely resembled a lava lamp. A disco ball and some roller skates could have also completed the picture.
The good news is that she saw absolutely no form of autism in Sophia. I feared that label. Many people equate autism to extreme social awkwardness tied in with superhuman counting skills and a series of odd phobias (AKA Rain Man syndrome) even though there is a varying range to which this behaviors show up. I didn’t want that stigma attached to her. I mean who does, right?
I was given a bunch of handouts to read and assess which things seem to fit Sophia and in reading one of them, I found me. It’s creepy how specific the description was and how well it fit me. It wasn’t like reading a horoscope, “You’ll find your true love soon.” And after weeks of searching you decide that it must have meant the dog you fell in love with at the pound. This was specific even in describing the vision problems I have despite my perfect eyesight.
The motorcycle rolls in, “Daddy’s home,” I say. She runs to the window watching him check the mail, then runs to the top of the stairs. “Eh-Low!” She shouts.
“He can’t hear you from there.” Down the stairs she goes, pushes open the door purposely left ajar, “Eh-low, eh-low, eh-low”. She says in rapid fire.
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
It started with some playtime that included trying to get Sophia to blow bubbles and letting her swing for a bit, and then moved to the focus of the class, eating. The facilitator said she began the class with other activities like blowing bubbles in order to “warm up the mouth”. The class already seemed kooky to me. She asked me what things Sophia will eat. She knew it was a limited list. I think word got around that my kid only eats white foods.
Sophia’s list of foods include: Oatmeal with dates and raisins, Muesli, scrambled eggs (occasionally I can get her to eat it with shredded zucchini), cheese (mostly cheddar and string cheese), apples, banana, breads of all kinds (wheat, banana bread, cornbread, zucchini bread, pancakes, Dutch babies, carrot cake), rice, nuts (almonds, hazelnuts, cashews), peanut butter, French fries (we don’t eat “freedom” fries because that’s just retarded – we like the French, they provide health care to all their citizens), tater tots, and beans.
The only food that isn’t a white, brown or other earthy color is sweet potato. But she won’t just eat sweet potato it has to be made into a sweet potato pie. I didn’t count the blueberries she ate in pancakes because that only happened a couple times. Now she eats around the blueberries. The only meat she’ll eat is bacon.
The facilitator was impressed, “You’ve been working hard at this.” I looked at her a little confused, “For such a limited range of foods you’re doing a good job.” She said. I was relieved. It felt good to know that it shows.
Halfway thought my list she said that it seemed like Sophia only liked soft foods. Apples aren’t that soft and she hates applesauce. I listed the nuts and breads with nuts in them. She wrote everything down as I mentioned it and went over the list. I told her that Sophia has also had animal crackers, graham crackers, saltine crackers, Doritos, tortilla chips, sour cream and onion chips, and pretzels. I didn’t list them in her foods because these are not staples. Sophia doesn’t get those snack foods very often and when she does I limit the amount. She eats so little that I try to make sure what she is eating has a positive nutritional value. “Wow, she really seems to be avoiding color.” Yep, that’s the only connection we could come up with.
Since this was Sophia’s fist class the facilitator said she would take it slow. She took a quarter of a graham cracker and put it in a cup with a spoon for Sophia. She did the same for herself and then asked Sophia if she could break it up with the spoon. Sophia snapped the cracker in half with her hand and began eating it. Armed with tiny cups of peanut butter the facilitator opened one. She broke up the rest of Sophia’s graham cracker and poked little cracker spikes into the peanut butter cup.
Sophia hesitated with the peanut butter graham crackers so the facilitator took one out and licked it. “Can you lick the peanut butter off?” She asked Sophia. Sophia took a cracker out and it came out peanut butter free. She just held it. “Can you smell it?” the facilitator put her own cracker up to her nose and sniffed it, and Sophia copied her. “Can you march it up your arm?” The facilitator marched the cracker up her own arm. Sophia copied her and eventually ate all the crackers in the peanut butter and asked for more. I was impressed that Sophia was mimicking a stranger, but not that she was eating those foods. She’s had both before, just not at the same time. It seemed kooky to me. More like a class teaching kids how to play with their food.
That night I made Chili for dinner with cornbread. I served Sophia a tiny bit of ground beef and beans and a half of a cornbread muffin. She ate the muffin first. No surprises there, but instead of asking for more immediately she picked up her bowl and picked up a piece of ground beef. She looked at it, tore it apart, sniffed it, and then licked it. She actually ate a piece of it, and then another. She didn’t eat everything I served her, even though it was a very small amount, before asking for more cornbread, but she did eat something new after just one food class. That was impressive!
