Pregnancy and Motherhood Archive

Modified question originally directed at Donald Rumsfeld on May 30, 2003. Now being asked of Sophia on July 19th, 2008: And is it curious to you that given how much control U.S. and coalition forces you now have in the country over your hands, they haven’t found any weapons of mass destruction cookies?

Sophia, July 19, 2008: Not at all. If you think — let me take that, both pieces — the area in the south and the west and the north that coalition forces hand control is substantial. It happens not to be the area where weapons of mass destruction cookies were dispersed. We know where they are. They’re in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad my mouth and east, west, south and north somewhat.

1. I was much too tired to have any morning sickness. I just slept. I tend to refer to the first trimester of my pregnancy and my coma. I’ve heard that keeping bland crackers near the bed for near intravenous snacking really helps. Here are some symptoms I did have…

• Disgusting realities of pregnancy during the first trimester
• Leg cramps
• Disappearing bikini line
• Leg cramps
• Leg cramps, nose bleeds, and heartburn (this post is very depressing towards the middle-ish all the way to the end – you’ve been warned).
• Skin Changes
• Linea Nigra, and heartburn
• Acid reflux

2. Your body will probably never be the same again. You may be able to get it close, but the pooch belly will probably always linger. Make your peace with that now and don’t worry about how many pounds you gain during your pregnancy. Some women gain 25, some gain 35. I gained 42. Your body will pack on the pounds you are supposed to gain no matter what you eat. That doesn’t mean you might as well go crazy with the chocolate cream pie or whatever, but don’t worry too much if your cravings take you away from dirty-hippy-vegan-leafy-granola-squirrel-food. The weight doesn’t just go to your belly either. You will get bigger EVERYWHERE and you will feel like you ARE a planet by the end of it. You’ve been warned – albeit a little late.

3. You are in fact eating for two, but remember one of you starts out about the size of a pea. Something the size of a pea couldn’t possibly need *that* much. Don’t force yourself to eat more than you can handle. Just eat as healthy as possible.

4. There are TONS of lists of what you should or should not eat and drink during pregnancy. You will drive yourself MAD trying to follow it all. The big one is to stop smoking crack. Never do a drug named after a part of your body (Dennis Leary). Seriously though, street drugs are a pretty obvious no-no.

Alcohol:
In the US you will probably NEVER find a doctor that says it’s ok to have any amount of alcohol, however they will tell you not to worry about the drinks you had before you knew you were pregnant. I’ve known several people that had a drink here and there during there pregnancies. I didn’t dare have any because it would be my luck that just smelling one silly drink would permanently harm my child.

No safe level of alcohol consumption has been established. As a result, it is best to take a cautious approach during pregnancy by abstaining from alcohol.

Cigarettes:
If you smoke you already know it’s not good, so I’m not going to beat a dead horse.

Caffeine:

increases production of stress hormones, causing constriction of uterine blood vessels, which lessens the blood flow to the uterus and may temporarily decrease the amount of oxygen reaching the fetus. Large amounts of caffeine cannot be good for your baby or you. However, caffeine consumption in small amounts (one to two cups of coffee per day) is considered safe during pregnancy.

Herbal Tea:

Some herbs and herbal teas contain drugs. Ginseng tea contains a small amount of estrogen. Chamomile tea contains ragweed, which can cause severe allergic reactions in some people. Teas made from juniper berries may cause stomach irritation. Just because herbal teas are considered to be natural does not mean they are safe for pregnant women. So, in general, avoid herbal teas except for those teas known to be safe for pregnancy such as peppermint and raspberry leaf.

Eden, Elizabeth. “Pregnancy Nutrition Guidelines.” 17 November 2006. HowStuffWorks.com. 21 July 2008.

I ran into a bunch of sites that say to stay away from soft cheeses and lunch meats. My thoughts are to just make sure the cheeses you eat are pasteurized (it should say on the label). I haven’t found a cheese in the US yet that isn’t pasteurized, including the ones listed as “no-nos” on the CDC web page about preventing listeria like feta and queso blanco fresco. As for the deli meats and such, don’t eat them past the expiration date and toss them after about a week.

The other thing I saw a lot of are sites saying to avoid fish because of mercury content, but it is safe to eat some fish in moderation (that’s always the key isn’t it?). FDA - What You Need to Know About Mercury in Fish and Shellfish.

Fish contains DHA, which is fabulous for brain development, so if you like fish at all don’t rule it out completely because of mercury fears.

The best sources of DHA are: seafood, algae, and especially coldwater fish. Omega-3 fatty acids are nature’s antifreeze. In general, the colder the water, the higher the omega-3 content in the fish oil. Popular sources of DHA are: salmon, sardines, and tuna. Eggs and organ meats have a small amount of DHA in them, but the healthiest source of dietary DHA is seafood. Two 4-ounce servings of omega-3-rich fish per week should yield a sufficient amount of omega-3 fatty acids, especially DHA. Besides fish oils, vegetable oils (primarily flaxseed, soy, and canola) are also rich sources of omega 3 fatty acids, with flaxseed oil being the best. The two F’s, fish and flax, are the top brain-building foods for growing children, and adults.

I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. This advice is not meant to take the place of talking to a doctor.

A very good friend of mine is ten weeks pregnant with her first, so here is where I get to tell her all the things I found useful during my pregnancy and she can choose to ignore me.

First, a few words to the husband, boyfriend, significant other, partner, insignificant other because they generally have a very short attention span. You poor bastard. I don’t feel sorry for you because the woman in your life is going to eat you out of house and home, nor because she’s going to gain weight beyond recognition, nor because she’s the one that will get ALL of the attention from EVERYONE for the next nine months and then it will all shift to the pink (or brown or grey or in our case orange) squishy thing that the two of you (with the possible aid of donor(s) and or doctors) created and bestowed or more likely thrust upon the world. Nope, I feel sorry for you because your woman is going to go completely nuts and take you with her. Some women become hormonal through the entire pregnancy and might act like a completely different person (read BITCHY AS HELL). Others just have random moments of rage or insanity, highly emotional times or a fun combination of all of the above.

I think I only had handful of these lapses of sanity, but then again my point of view may have been a bit askew. The first that I remember happened after I watched a cooking show. They grilled up some baby eggplant and zucchini after marinating them and I wanted to try it. Kurt and I went grocery shopping and everything was great until I passed by the eggplant isle. It should be here. Where is the eggplant? I went around the little veggie island about three times. Kurt escorted me away saying that we could make something else for a side dish. I left with him, but did not find that a suitable solution. I went back to search for the eggplant. Round and round I went about another three times as if it would magically appear before my eyes after a number of revolutions. Still no eggplant. Kurt tried to drag me away a second time, but I wouldn’t go. I want eggplant! “It’s not here,” he told me, “we’ll have to find something else.” I whined about wanting eggplant. Seriously, I started whining and almost threw a tantrum. Kurt looked at me just then realizing that *this* was a pregnancy thing and because the first trimester he was SCARED! He had this look like, “OHMYGOD is it going to be like this for NINE MONTHS?!?!” Kurt took me aside and asked if this is what I wanted to teach my daughter. He was talking to me like a child but trying to reason with me as if I was still sane, the idiot. Yes, I could read his reaction and after each childish thing I did, I knew what I did, but I just could help wanting what I wanted RIGHT NOW.

Another misadventure takes us to my second trimester. The characters involve volatile Erica and her very close friend that was wishing to either be invisible or in a dark hole somewhere. We thought it would be fund to go shopping for maternity clothes for me. It wasn’t. It had nothing to do with me not being my usual size but also not able to fill maternity pants. It had to do with all maternity tops being “V” necks. Even on a hormonally stable day I don’t like “V” necks, but on this day I really despised them. And I couldn’t find any other choices. Oh my poor friend. I’m so sorry. I didn’t make a scene with any sales people but I was being very vocal in general about the lack of selection for maternity tops. If there is ever a next time that I’m pregnant, I’m just going to stick with huge baggy T-shirts.

This friend also stood by me as I wailed about getting pregnant at the end of my relationship. Yeah I know, very dramatic. Kurt was avoiding some questions that I wanted answered – I can’t remember what they were, but he was avoiding them like the plague. Pregnant hormonal Erica jumped off the deep end on this one. I seriously felt like Kurt and I were over and cried a lot thinking that Sophia would never know her parents as a happy couple. I imagined having to drop her off at her dad’s house for the week as an infant.

So guys (non-pregnant partners), when you find out your beloved is pregnant invest in some squeeze stress balls, a dart board (for the love of life don’t you dare use her picture as the target), and nine months of weekly therapy sessions.

A couple days ago I was sorting through all of my links and some blog roll-y stuff and I came across a crib recall post from Play at Home Mom. I probably wouldn’t have paid any attention to that particular post it if she hadn’t added a picture of a crib that looks EXACTLY like Sophia’s.

We bought Sophia’s crib used off of a Craigslist ad. That alone sets many people off because we’re told not to trust used baby items, “You never know if they’ve already been recalled or if they’re missing parts”. I still say ‘used’ is a great way to go just be smart about it. Usually it’s obvious if there are missing parts, so that part is simple. Don’t buy that one. Make sure all of the manufacturer’s stickers/labels and “do not remove” tags are still in place, and stick with newer looking models. Besides, the crib Sophia is using has been on the market since 2002 and it was just recalled in June of 2008. How pray tell does that make a NEW crib a safer bet? Anyway, Sophia will be getting a new crib at a used price.

If you have one of these cribs:

Crib Styles:
- Berkley
- Hilton
- Positano
- Spindle
- Windsor

Only the Following Crib Model Numbers are Included:
BC-23, BC-36B, BC-36G, BC-36P, BC-007, BC-010, BC-010C, BC-010HP, BC-010W, BC-017, BC-107C, BC-107CR, BC-110C, BC-110HP BC-110W, DA617BC, DA620BC, DV730N, DV730W, DA770BC, DV830-N, DV830-W, 0113B00, 0113K00, 0303C00, 0303G00, 0303B00, 0309K00

Then you can go to the Jardine Crib Recall site for a voucher on a new crib (which will probably be recalled six years from now *eye roll*).

Detailed instructions for what you’ll need to do to receive a voucher for a new crib can be found here. Make note of step #2 and #3…

2. Remove mattress support hardware and identification label using the enclosed instructions and Allen key that is provided.

3. Place the bolts, mattress support plates, identification label and signed acknowledgment form in the prepaid shipping envelope provided.

If you’re going to buy a use crib, MAKE SURE the label on the base that holds the mattress in place is still there. If it’s missing, that’s a BAD SIGN.

Yesterday was grocery shopping day and little miss grabby hands kept reaching out for EVERYTHING at the check out line. I had all the groceries on the little conveyor belt and as I pushed the cart closer to the cashier Sophia leaned over and pulled some stuff off the belt and held it up for me to see like, “look mom I got your stuff back.” Thankfully, it was my stuff and not the stuff from the person in front or behind me. Ok hun, put it back. Here play with my purse. I get to the front of the line, next to the cashier, right where the credit card reader thing is placed. I never realized what a stupid place it is for that thing. I swipe my “rewards” card and hand it to grabby. Nope, she didn’t want it. She wants to hit the “Ok” key on the card reader…REPEATEDLY. Seriously, it’s a good thing I was paying attention to the cashiers screen or I would have no idea what amount I had agreed to pay. *glaring at child*

I got home and juggled the child, diaper bag, grocery bags, toys, and my purse into the house. Still holding the child, I placed the grocery bags on the counter right over the dishwasher. The door to the dishwasher is slightly open. This is the sign in our household that the dishes in there are actually clean but someone is too damn lazy hasn’t had a chance to put them away. For some reason I keep forgetting my child has arms with hands at the end which come fully equipped with thumbs. Damn my little monkey for having opposable thumbs! She grabbed one of the grocery bags that I just set on the counter without me noticing, and pulled it off. It landed on the door of the dishwasher causing it to tumble over, and dump everything onto our ceramic tiled floor. All I can say is I am so glad that it wasn’t the bag with glass jars in it! I bought maple syrup - that could have been very ugly! Tasty, but ugly.

I realize she doesn’t need thumbs to do the grabby hands thing, but I thought I’d give them (her thumbs) a good preemptive damning. I’m sure the day will come when my thumb damning will be justified.

Sophia’s nine-month check up was on June 27th, the day after my doctor appointment. My original appointment was supposed to be an annual check up sort of deal, but it turned into a multi-gag test for strep (Streptococcal pharyngitis). It was negative, but OHMYGOD my throat HURT! I went home and drank chamomile tea with lemon and honey as if it were the latest craze. It really did make my throat feel better! Sophia’s appointment went much better than mine did. She was leery of the nurse, but there were no shots this time - Yay!

The nurse asked me, “So is she walking yet?” Um No - she just turned nine months two days prior. She said that Sophia looks so much older. Dude - don’t you like have a chart that shows her age? I’m loosing confidence over here. Then she starts asking me the questions geared for Sophia’s age, “Does she know her name?” Oh shit. Maybe we should have so many nick names for her, Monkey, Monkey Butt, Snot Face, Baby Cakes, Petree Dish, Lil’ Shit, Bastard. Don’t scoff at the last one. Strictly by definition, she really is a bastard. I told the nurse that we use so many nicknames that she may not know her name. Once we got home I tested this and *whew* she does know her name, probably due solely to daycare and not from us.

“Does she know the meaning of, ‘no’? - not that she’ll actually obey.” Umm that’s another negative. I don’t usually use, ‘no’ with her. I simply redirect. There have been a few times that it flew out as a knee-jerk reaction, but usually I just capture her attention with some shiny object and lure her away from whatever. If it’s safe enough I just let it happen though. Earlier today she pinched her fingers in the filing cabinet. The drawers slide easily and the thing is perpetually open because it leans slightly forward and we can’t find the keys to lock it. She is also learning that gravity is a bitch, only on soft flooring right now of course. I think Kurt does use ‘no’ with Sophia, but he doesn’t stop with that word. He uses is in a complete sentence, no maybe a paragraph to explain what will happen if she continues with her current actions.

Sophia lost a pound. While she was sick she kept weighing in at 17 pounds, but I guess that and becoming more mobile took away from her weight. She is currently 16 pounds and 29 inches tall/long. My nine month old daughter is just three inches shorter than Verne Troyer (mini-me). She’s in the 85th percentile for hight and the 5th percentile for weight.

The nurse asked me one other question, “Has she been a relatively healthy baby?”

“Oh yes.” I said without hesitation, but this weekend, Fourth of July weekend, we’re both sick AGAIN! This crap is getting old. On the fourth, Sophia was fine except that she was sneezing A LOT. I knew she was catching a cold, but we went to go see a local fireworks show anyway. We didn’t go to Seattle because we had know idea how she would react, but the show we did go to see didn’t have much for parking so we went to an alternate site to view from. We were too damn far away. We could see it, but it was so far that it just SUCKED. And the baby was cranky. Since there was nothing close up to see she couldn’t figure out why on earth we would keep her up past her bed time. She looked around the crowd wondering why all there other people were up as well. Occasionally some fireworks would go off nearby from private displays and Sophia would pause, watch, and then go back to being grumpy when they were done. She didn’t seem very impressed, but she wasn’t scared at all either. She slept nearly all day the fifth and all night too. Today she seemed to be a lot better except that her sinuses are so full of snot that she sounds and feels like a cat purring when she breathes.