Category Archives: Pregnancy and Motherhood

From the truly tasteless and disgusting to emotional stories that feel very much like heartburn squirming on a pitchfork this is my parenting journey from pregnancy forward.

Captain Literal Laundry Basket

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On laundry days, Sophia loved to steal the smallest of my three baskets, the one I use to haul clothes up and down the stairs. This basket allows her to partake in her all-time favorite activity, putting things into containers. Sometimes she really loads up, taking toys off her shelves to put in the basket, and other times she only stows the favorites, Bear, Moose, and “Friend”. After an incident of stair tumbling I’ve since taught her to ask for help in hauling her basket of loot down the stairs. Sometimes she still thinks she can do it on her own, but generally, she’s pretty good about the rule.

I was sleeping in on one recent weekend day. Moose, Bear, and “Friend” were loaded into the basket and Sophia had indicated that she wanted the load to go downstairs. “Do you need help taking that down stairs?” Kurt asked, “Ok, hand me the basket.” Sophia then proceeded to take Moose, Bear, and “Friend” out of the basket and hand The Basket to Kurt. She then carries the three favored toys down the stairs herself. Kurt tossed the basket back up the half flight of stairs and Sophia gave him a look of, “Why the hell did you ask me for the basket if you didn’t want it?”

Kurt believes her literal interpretation of things is a sign we have a lawyer in the making.

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Camp Is So Great, They Give Us Chocolate Cake!

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The last day of camp I managed to convince Sophia to leave “friend” in the car, but again when I had to put her down to sign her into camp she began crying. Today her buddy didn’t even try to have me put the camp shirt on Sophia. She does eventually wear the shirt each day, but only after I’m long gone.

The snack for this day is about as unimpressive as the Nilla Wafer mini-burger day. The kids will be making their own chocolate cup cake. On the healthy side, there will also be a yogurt shake with bananas and strawberries. Sophia loves yogurt and bananas, but she does not recognize it in a liquid shake form and therefore won’t eat it.

Friday:
Today…
I made a…Picture Frame
I ate a… Cupcake (What a shock, really? She ate sugar? And the healthy part, the shake? She didn’t even touch it.)
I liked…Playground

My day was… (in this part of the form the buddy circles one of three choices: fabulous, good, ok) Sophia’s buddy circled fabulous.

Under comments she wrote, “I’m going to miss seeing Sophia every day! Camp was so much fun! Her giggle and smile make me smile! Have a great rest of summer!”

Camp photo and the frame Sophia made

Sophia had the same buddy each day of camp, it’s part of what makes this camp special. The buddies are high school students who volunteer and are teamed up with one child for the week. In general, that one on one interaction is supposed to help the kids boost their skills because it’s all about catering to the child, but not in the same ways that mom and dad might. Other moms who bring their kids to Sophia’s playgroup that had already sent their kids to camp in previous weeks talked about how much their kid loved their buddy. One mom said that her son, who is two months older than Sophia, takes the camp picture and sleeps with it at night. Except for the one Occupational Therapist that Sophia sees weekly at one of her classes, she seems rather indifferent to the various staff members and her buddy.

I have the pictures and frame from camp up on the mantel. I brought them down so that I could take a picture of it for this post. Sophia was interested in the frame, but only because she wanted to take the stickers back off it. “Do you remember your buddy from camp?” I ask. No answer. “Did you like your buddy?” No answer. “Did you have fun with your buddy at camp?” Nothing.

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Just Another Splash For The Adrenalin Junkie

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As we got ready for the day I told Sophia, “Come on let’s get ready for swimming.”

“Splash!” She said excitedly.

Great, yeah I’m going to get splashed a lot. There really isn’t any point to me putting my hair up in a bun is there? Sophia enjoyed jumping off the edge of the wall into my arms several times. On one occasion, she jumped before I said three and I was able to catch her before she was all the way in the water. The instructors frequently emphasis the importance of teaching the kids only jump when the cue is given, but this is the only time it feels like a dog obedience class for toddlers.

Then on one occasion after I gave the ok, Sophia didn’t quite jump, but instead slipped and rolled into the pool. I was standing at a jump distance and not prepared for the roll into the water. She went under and I saw bubbles floating up. I pulled her up. She looked scared. She didn’t cough at all so I guess I moved faster than it felt like I did. I must have retrieved her before she inhaled water. I was probably much more afraid than she was, but I hid my fear well or the child just recovers much more quickly than I expect. She almost immediately pointed to the edge of the pool indicating she wanted to go again, and she did. I think my heart continued to pound well after the class.

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And on the Fourth Day She Smiles

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I didn’t really check out how well the other two and three year old children were separating from their parents, but let’s just say I didn’t hear any crying except from my child. It wasn’t a loud obnoxious tantrum, just a general sobbing upset. She clung to “friend”, but knew that it was useless to try and Velcro herself to my leg. She was whisked away with tears in her eyes…again.

I figured out why the tickling thing was a big enough deal for Sophia’s buddy to mention the previous day. The head of the camp who is also Sophia’s advocate (person who is supposed to ensure that we’re happy with the services we receive and that we’re informed of everything available to us) came up to me and showed me Sophia’s camp photo. I wasn’t supposed to receive it until the next day but she gave it to me as proof that Sophia does smile while at camp. I’m sure there were some smiles but I’m also fairly certain that she had to be tickled for the photo. How much you want to bet this mom knows her kid?

The snack for this day was a waffle face with apple slices to form a mouth and mini-marshmallow teeth. Sophia likes apple and I used to slice them for her and remove the skin when she was younger, then we moved up to merely slicing it. Now however she won’t touch an apple unless it’s whole. For the waffle face eyes, they used raisins and for a nose, they used half of one of those hotdog things you see in baby food jars. The other half of the hotdog thing was halved again to make the ears. Dried spaghetti was poked into the top of the waffle for some hair. It was cute and overall a better snack than the one from the day before. I’m still not impressed, but at least she’s eating in front of other kids.

Sophia’s buddy said that Sophia still wouldn’t talk in front of her but that the speech therapist was there and Sophia signed for her. I didn’t ask which speech therapist it was, so it could have been the one Sophia is already familiar with, It could have been the one who was assigned to us and used to come to our house.

Thursday:
Today…
I made a…Necklace
I ate a…Waffle and raisins (nothing she hasn’t had at home, except that at home the waffles are made from scratch of course and not Eggo Waffles…I’m just sayin’)
I liked…playing in the field

My day was… (in this part of the form the buddy circles one of three choices: fabulous, good, ok) Sophia’s buddy circled fabulous.

Under comments she wrote, “Still no talking! Although she’s doing great at camp! Signs please and more!”

necklace Sophia made at camp

This was the first time that Sophia seemed genuinely happy after camp. I asked her if she had a good day and she answered with an excited, “Yes!” and a big smile.

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Cookies Made to Look Like a Burger are still Cookies

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The third day of camp we arrived right on time for sign in and at the time Sophia’s buddy came up to us I was squatting trying to convince Sophia to put “friend” in her backpack and to give me back the house keys she was playing with in the car. Sophia saw her buddy and moved around behind me, away from her buddy, and tried to cling to my back. She didn’t cry and she didn’t retain all the Velcro qualities of the previous day, but she still didn’t want to separate from me on her own.

After she was whisked away, I went through the daily paperwork which indicates, who signed the child in, who will sign them out, and that the child doesn’t have any allergies to the food items that will be offered at snack time. I realize that fresh foods are more difficult to keep and because of that, the cost can add up, but I’m still very disappointed in what will be served today.

They made a mini-burger with Nilla Wafer cookies for buns, half an Oreo cookie for the meat patty, and I’m guessing half the white filling. The filling was colored with red and green food coloring for the ketchup and lettuce. On the side were chips that looked very similar to shoe- string potatoes used to represent fries. The only healthy part of the snack was the other side, which were slices of ham that had cream cheese spread on them. The ham and cheese are rolled and sliced for bite-sized ham and cheese swirls. I guess I should just be happy Sophia is in an environment where she can see other kids her age eating these things. It’s just that it would be nice if those things were more like, oh I don’t know, strawberries, carrots, peas, or hell even a real mini-hamburger would be nice.

When I picked up Sophia her buddy told me that Sophia really liked the playground a lot, especially the slide. I already knew that but it’s nice that she had fun with someone other than mommy at the park and that it was clearly visible to her buddy. Last year for Sophia’s second birthday not-a-nanny came to visit. I told her Sophia really likes swimming and runs to the locker room when we arrive and invited her to come with us. After Sophia’s class she asked, “Does Sophia really like it?” We may not see not-a-nanny very often but she knows Sophia well and she couldn’t tell. Yes, she likes it. She’s not protesting and occasionally she’ll smile briefly. That’s about the most I get from her. Sophia and I took a break from her swim classes from about February to June this year. Sophia wanted to play at the park instead and I didn’t want to push swim class to the point of making her hate it, so we took a break. She loves swimming again and now I think it shows a more. She actually participates in class a little more.

Sophia’s buddy also told me that Sophia is very ticklish. Again, yeah, something I know. If a parent with a ticklish kid and doesn’t know it, uummm wow. They’re probably the sort of parent that needs the advice I was receiving from the therapists. Like, “You need to sit on the floor and play with her.” No shit, really?

I asked Sophia’s buddy if Sophia talked at all in the last three days and she told me that she herself hadn’t heard her say anything but that Sophia talked to the occupational therapist that runs one of the classes we attend. I wasn’t surprised at all. That therapist is Sophia’s favorite, but much like her enjoyment of swimming, it’s hard for anyone to tell.

Wednesday:
Today…
I made a…Pencil Critter
I ate a…Cookies (all she ate was the sugar, what a shock)
I liked…Playground

My day was… (in this part of the form the buddy circles one of three choices: fabulous, good, ok) Sophia’s buddy circled fabulous.

Under comments she wrote, “Sophia had lots of fun at the playground today! She loves the slide! Also becoming more comfortable every day!”

pencil critter

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Rapture of Camp Bagel Slug

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Day two of camp…The drop off was even harder. We arrived at the park a few minutes early so I let Sophia play for a bit and then we headed to the line forming at the designated place for her camp. Sophia not only clung to me but she started crying aloud. I tried putting her down for her buddy to take her, but she clung to my leg. Her buddy didn’t want to be pushy and just grab Sophia, which is understandable and appreciated. I like that she let me make the judgment call. I literally pried the crying toddler off me and handed her to her buddy. It was similar to attempting to bathe a cat only without the claws. I quickly gave Sophia a kiss and told her I’d see her later and she was whisked away to be distracted.

I drove off to another nearby park to write up some blog posts. You’re welcome…please, please, don’t all three of my fans thank me all at once. Oh, it’s too much. No, really it’s my pleasure. Yeah, ok anyway. I sat in the car finally using my laptop in the way HP intended…on the road, unplugged. Of course, I just had to park next to the one person listening to some sort of audio bible about the rapture loudly with his windows rolled down. *twitch*

I went back to the park where Sophia’s camp was located about thirty minutes early and sat in the parking lot. I saw Sophia’s group pass by behind my car about fifteen feet away. She seemed rather ho-hum, but at least she wasn’t crying. At pick up time Sophia smiled when she saw me and raised her arms for me to pick her up, a huge improvement to the emotionless attempt at scaling Mt. Mommy as if being chased ravenous predators from the day before.

Tuesday:
Today…
I made a…Puzzle
I ate a…Bagel Slug
I liked…Craft

My day was… (in this part of the form the buddy circles one of three choices: fabulous, good, ok) Sophia’s buddy circled fabulous. I still wouldn’t say it was fabulous but certainly better than the first day.

Under comments she wrote, “Sophia’s becoming more comfortable at camp. She ate a raisin in front of everyone today and half a bagel!”

At camp they try to turn food into something fun for the kids. I don’t remember what they created for the first day but I know the food items were Bugles chips, string cheese, and something else that looked like Sophia’s taste. She didn’t touch any of that. On this day they made “Bagel Slugs”. A bagel cut into a half circle so that it can “stand” on the plate. Inserted in the bagel, two toothpicks lined with raisins and capped off with mini-marshmallows for the eye-stalks. On the sides of the bagel were broccoli florets and for the slug-slime, some ranch dressing behind the bagel.

After day two at camp…
snapshot of Sophia immediately after camp

Her camp art projects from days one and two…
art projects from days one and two

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Bataan Toddler Death March

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I enrolled Sophia in a week-long, day camp especially for kids with developmental delays and their siblings. Last week was her week to go. The night before her first day, I tucked her into bed and told her about the camp she was going to go to, and all the things they might do at camp. I left out the part about her doing all these things with someone other than mom or dad. The day of, I spent the morning telling her about camp. That day was probably not a good day to start something new for Sophia. She was having one of those days, which I call a “mellow” day. It’s the sort of day where she spends most of her time curled up with “friend”. One of those days in which, if we’re out in public, I receive many comments like, “Oh she looks tired.” or, “Oh she must have just woken up.” Nope, that’s just the way my kid is sometimes. I know most people think, “You’re so lucky to have days like that.” What they don’t realize is that on those days I get more tantrums because those are the same days in which she refuses to talk or even sign. So those people can take their “calm kid” envy and shove it up their collective asses, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Really.

Sophia and I went grocery shopping at our usual chain but a different location than normal, and she calmly sat in the cart with “friend” sucking her thumb. This is not the norm for her. Sitting in a regular cart calmly is not her bag these days and hasn’t been for quite some time now. With groceries in the trunk of the car, I took her to her first day of camp.

When Sophia saw her usual park, she was happy and wanted to go play. I told her I had to use the bathroom first so we went and I made sure she went too because I knew that she was not going to talk or sign the entire day at camp and would probably wind up having an accident. By the time we were done it was time to line up to sign her in so I got her bag and she grabbed “friend”. She hung onto us both for dear life realizing that we were lining up with the crowd. Sophia was swept away by her designated camp buddy. I finished the required paperwork and looked over to where her group was trying to cheer her up. This day was not going to go well at all.

I went home and put the groceries away then spent the next couple of hours looking at the clock every five minutes. Three hours after the toddler drop off; I arrived about fifteen minutes prior to pick up time. I watched from the car as the kids were marched into the building and spotted Sophia. If one only focused on the face of my child, the whole thing would look like a Bataan toddler death march. At precisely four in the afternoon, the parents were allowed to go in and pick up their kids. Sophia spotted me from across the room but aside from wanting to get to me her demeanor didn’t change. Once I reached her, she literally climbed up me. Her buddy said, “It was rough at first, but she had fun after a while.” Sure she did. I knew it going in that the first day would be bad. It always is with Sophia. It’s tough to watch her go through this, but she needs it…badly.

Every parent gets a note for each child about what he or she did and how the day went. It’s rather form like so that nothing is forgotten.

Monday:
Today…
I made a…Pin wheel
I ate a…(this was left blank and Sophia hadn’t eaten since breakfast)
I liked…playing in the preschool room

My day was… (in this part of the form the buddy circles one of three choices: fabulous, good, ok) Sophia’s buddy circled fabulous. Really?

Under comments she wrote, “She had a great 1st day at camp! Monday’s always the toughest! We had a lot of fun in the pool watching others jump off diving board.”

I snapped a picture of Sophia immediately after getting her into the car. I think her look speaks volumes as to how she really felt about her day. Sophia didn’t say a word on the way home, neither a sound nor even a peep. When Kurt saw the picture he said, “She cried the whole time, didn’t she?” I’m guessing at least two hours of it, yes.

After her first day at camp

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It’s Not Zestfully Clean Unless it’s Crayola Clean

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I was on a hunt for a suitable dress for Sophia’s upcoming birthday pictures when I passed by the bath time isle. The only toys I’ve ever given her for bath time were some foam letters and stacking cups which all fit neatly in a mesh bag that drains nicely and prevents mold. I never bought more than that because I didn’t want a bathroom bursting with bath crap and the majority of Sophia’s bathing is done in the showers at the swimming pool. For some odd reason I thought it was time to add a little more to the bath toy collection so I bought a Crayola set that includes paint, markers, and washable crayons with a case that looks like a crab.

On Sunday, she used them for the first time. I presented them to her and said that they were special crayons she could use on the wall. “On the wall?” she repeated with doubt. Ha! That’s my girl. “Yes, but only in the bathtub.” I told her. I used one of the paints to show her how they worked and then she went to town. Paint all over the shower walls and tub. After a while, she asked me for soap. I figured it was time for a picture after seeing the walls, but when I came back with the camera, I was too late. Sophia had soaped up her washcloth and was now wiping the walls clean. It’s disturbing how much she’s like me.

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Super Morphin Mega Monkey

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Last week when I told a friend that I was taking Sophia to the park for the day, she suggested I bring my camera because I hadn’t sent her pictures in a while, so I did. The only thing is I had a hard time taking any pictures of the daredevil that day. Going down the slide face first was the least crazy new thing she did.

Down the slide head firstRunning back to me to give me her cupSweeping her hair away from her face

That day she also decided to try going down the firefighter pole without me standing nearby. I saw her stand on the edge and lean out as she usually does to yell out to me, but then unlike her usual, she reached for the pole. “WAIT!” I shouted, “Let me help you.” I about had a heart attack. Thankfully the little power ranger that could is at least obedient and waited for her mother to waddle over to her. I helped her hang onto the pole and showed her how to wrap her legs around it. She had watched enough other kids do it that she had the basic idea, but I wanted to be there to make sure she didn’t bounce her head off the ground.

She slid down the pole about three times and each time I held on and guided her down a little less. The fourth time the super monkey just held the pole tightly, lingered at the top, and then came down slowly…hand under hand. Holy fucking shit she is a strong little monkey! She did that another couple of times just to show off.

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Red Hot Phone Call

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Last week, after playing in the sunny park for a few hours I suggested to Sophia that we go to the water park area. She agreed. I wasn’t sure that I would end up there or that she would want to go to the water park part so I didn’t bother bringing her swimsuit, besides she’s two. Underwear work just fine at that age.

The previous week we had gone to the Bite of Seattle with Kurt and he had taken Sophia to the fountain there. She loved it. I thought that she might run around on her own here, but no. I had to do the same as Kurt did there and pick her up to get her wet. Not getting me equally wet was a challenge.

It had been quite a long day at the park so I asked her if she was ready to go and surprisingly she was. But she didn’t want to get dressed again. Underwear girl walked through the entire park. After walking through all the grassed area we reached the part of the paved parking lot we would need to cross to reach our truck. “Let’s put your shoes on.” I told her.

She shook her head, “No”

“The pavement is going to be hot on your feet, let’s get your shoes on.”

Again, she shook her head, “No”

“Do you want me to carry you across?”

“No,” she signaled again.

Ok, fine, have it your way. We took about five steps and I saw a worried look come across her face. “Do you want me to carry you?”

“Yes, peh-weez” she said reaching up.

Once in the truck she piled all the toys she insisted on bringing with her, but I had insisted needed to stay in the vehicle, on top of her. I bucked her in, walked around the truck to the driver’s side, and climbed in. She had arranged all her toys, just so, and was talking on her old school Fisher Price chatter phone with the old rotary dial. As I backed out of the parking spot and headed out of the lot I hear her say into the little red handset, “Bo, Moose, n’fend-EE, n’phone”. She was listing all the items she had brought with her, Bear, Moose, her blanket ‘friend’, and the phone. Then she said, “momma dw-eye-vin, pay pah-wk, HOT FEETIES!”.

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