“You really love her,” She said referring to my daughter. The inflection of surprise insinuated she either thought me incapable of love towards anyone or that she never felt that for me. I’ll never know. It’s clear we haven’t felt unspoiled love between us in some time, if ever.
“Of course I do.” I replied.
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
My second Mother’s day was very nice, except for the part where Kurt dragged us all down to go test ride a motorcycle while I tried desperately to keep a certain toddler occupied. We left the house late and hadn’t had breakfast so I came up with the grand idea of going to Ihop. We wound up leaving there without eating. Note to self, Ihop is fucking crowded on Mother’s day. And here I thought every other Mother got breakfast in bed. We wound up going to a Chinese buffet since it was so close to lunch time anyway.
After ‘breakfast’ we all went to “look at” a motorcycle. Sophia and I spent a good hour climbing up and down some stairs outside the condos while Kurt and the seller talked motorcycles and not just about the motorcycle for sale. Kurt finally took it for a test ride and I talked to the seller while Sophia climbed all around the inside of the car and into her car seat where she for the first time snapped the shoulder strapped together by herself then screamed because she couldn’t get loose. Kurt eventually came back, chatted more about motorcycles and then agreed to purchase this motorcycle. He now has FOUR motorcycles and he complains about my stuff taking up so much room in the garage. I have a plastic tote of memorabilia, another tote of doggy stuff, a bicycle, and the smallest chest freezer ever made. That’s it.
I told Kurt that for father’s day I’m going to drag him to Babies R Us or some other place of man torture not realizing how tortuous our next stop would be for him. I dragged him to Molbak’s, and I stuck him with the now very sleepy toddler. It’s Mother’s day which means I get a break from being a mommy, right?
I bought a bunch of starters, mulch, lime, and plant food. My cart was loaded with everything needed to start a small herb and vegetable garden which I’ve dubbed my salsa garden.
As soon as we arrived home I took off to the back yard and dug up a patch of grass that was mostly weeds and moss, filled it with about 50% mulch, added lime and plant food, and then inserted plants. So far they’re still alive. We’ll see how long that lasts.
In the mean time, the toddler was catching up on sleep and Kurt put together a very early early early early Christmas present from Kurt’s side of the family to Sophia. The Kangaroo Climber fit together like an easy puzzle, but since there were no tools or other sharp objects to contented with so I worried Kurt may hurt himself on all the rounded corners.
Click on the picture to see video of Sophia on her slide. 
Note to Kurt’s side of the family: This video was taken right after her nap. She played on it all night long until around bed time and then in the morning forwent milk and breakfast to go downstairs and play on her new toy.
The child loves to dance. Actually, it’s more like butt bouncing. There is a song on TV which makes her stop everything she’s doing, go to the screen, and do the baby butt buggy. The other day she heard it and went from incessant whining for milk in the kitchen to forgetting whatever it was she wanted and dancing in the living room.
Sophia knows she’s not allowed to stand on chairs especially at dinner time but the song came on while we were eating. She looked at me and got on her feet but didn’t stand. She just bounced the best she could with her knees completely bent and against her chest. I helped her off the chair so she could fully express herself up near the TV.
The commercial she adores so much is one for Emerald Downs, which is a horse racing place in Auburn Washington. The song is “Break My Stride” by a bluegrass band called Hillbilly Highway. It’s a country twang banjo version of the 1980’s Matthew Wilder song by the same name.
Kurt played an mp3 of dueling banjos on his computer she danced to that too. She also dances to AC/DC, and she dances slightly different for the two genres. With the country twang song she bounces, then stops, spins in circles three times, and then bounces again. For AC/DC…click on the picture to see the video clip. 
It’s a large file, but it’s worth it. Ok, I may be a tad biased. 
I don’t know how it happened. Today I went to a secondhand store for kids stuff. It’s an AWESOME store. The store is jam packed with ever sort of baby/toddler item you could ever wish for and clothes from newborn to about preteen-ish. They also have maternity clothes. They are very organized in how things are arraigned in the store. They only buy back very well cared for and lightly used items. None of the clothes have nasty stains and they wash everything before going on a hanger for sale. They even have a child ‘cave’ which is a series of tiny rooms under one of their floors that has kid couches games and a TV with cartoons playing. It is FABULOUS!
The one drawback of this place is that there are stairs, and multiple levels of floors and landings. The placement of things all makes sense but the place itself is a huge maze. The only child cave entrance is located under the stairs that begin the multi-level maze and across from those stairs are the clothes for 12 to 24 month kids, perfect. While the few items I was selling back were being inventoried, I let Sophia play in the cave and I looked through the nearby 24 month summer clothes. I was so paranoid of Sophia wandering away from the cave that after each item I looked at, I looked up at the cave entrance. After every tenth or so item, I went in the cave to see that she was still ok. Anyone woman with three kids or more kids paying attention to me was probably laughing her fool ass off.
One time when I went to check on my child, she was near the entrance of the cave and a boy about four years old was holding a book that she wanted. She was trying to grunt her request to this boy. He wasn’t paying any attention to her. Poor baby. I went back to looking at clothes. The next time I went in, I went all the way to the back of the cave. Where the hell is my baby? I left the cave and looked all over the first floor and then back to the cave. I looked in every child toy within the cave thinking that Sophia maybe hiding in the kid refrigerator, toy chest, or kiddy armoire. No, no, and nope. I left the cave, rounded the corner to the stairs, and then I heard it. The very distinctive, “mommy help I’m lost!” cry from my child, uttered without any actual words of course. At the top of the third set of stairs I saw my sneaky little devil and behind her were two older girls looking rather bewildered. They were about seven and ten years old and my guess is that they were trying to figure out what was wrong with Sophia. I didn’t ask what happened I simply took my kid and went back down stairs. I’m guessing that nothing happened, Sophia just became scared after realizing she was lost.
I still cannot figure out how Sophia made it up those first stairs so fast without me seeing her. I was maybe five to ten steps away from those stairs and my view and path to them was completely clear. The only logical explanation is that she’s been playing City of Heroes with Kurt so much that she now has either super speed, invisibility, or teleportation powers.
I’m beginning to feel more and more curmudgeony the further I venture down the American tradition of marriage and assuming a new identity. Today’s adventure is courtesy of the Social Security department of perpetual impatient rudeness. I know it’s a really monotonous job and dealing with the public can be very painful. I understand having a bad day and don’t expect miles of smiles and grace with every human encounter. I don’t care about any of that. I only care that when my number is called that I’m given half a chance to get to the window or door from which it’s being called. I was in the back of the room, but I’m not that slow. I knew my number was next because I can fuckin’ count despite being a product of public education.
I dreaded going to the department incapable of moving faster than frozen molasses with a toddler, but Sophia did great. I was armed with a sippy cup of milk and her current favorite snack “cheee”, string cheese. Sophia was superb at entertaining herself crawling under my chair with her “chee” and a pink pen with the cap on. I kept hearing people comment on how cute she was and looking at me smiling. It felt great having a good kid, but I worried about how long this might last.
The social security office has five windows and runs three sets of numbers; I assume the number set obtained from the computer depends on the reason for one’s visit. I was number B164. The number on the screen was B163. Awesome, it should take too long.
One man at the front of the room went up to the security officer to ask a question about his number. Apparently he didn’t hear when his number was called two numbers ago. The officer told him that they always call the numbers three times. He lies. He then directed the man to inquire at one of the windows behind me at the back of the room which was not serving a person at the time.
I kept watching the window with the sign that read, “Social Security Cards” over it on the opposite side of the room from me. I was sure that’s where my number would be called from. I didn’t see when the number changed on the sign but I did hear my number called once from a door in the front of the room. I stood up with my things and reached for Sophia. I looked up again and the door was closing behind someone else. What the fuck? I waited assuming the person just had to grab something and would be back shortly. I sat back down. I waited two full minutes.
Not wanting to be skipped I went to the window behind me where a lady sat working on papers but without a customer. I told her my number was on the screen and it was called from the door but that it closed before I could get to it. “Oh don’t worry they’ll call your number when they’re ready” she told me.
“They did call the number from the door, but someone else went back there.” I didn’t actually know if it was another person or the person that called the number who I saw as the door closed. All I know is that it closed before I even left my seat.
“Really? How odd.” She said, “Well I’ll put your number on the list and they’ll call you. I just need to finish my applications first.” She said the last part as if I was being unreasonably impatient or rude.
Minutes later I was called to the window I assumed would be calling me in the first place. Sophia followed me and several, “Aaww, isn’t she cute?” “She’s so cute.” Statements could be heard. I sat down and Sophia tried to climb up on the chair next to me but could because there wasn’t a bar across the legs to help boost her up, so I gave her a lift. She sat quietly next to me for the next ten minutes while my papers were processed.
As I was leaving the lady behind the door appeared again. She called out, “A70”. There was a brief pause. “A71” she said. I looked at the board and it had changed from 70 to 71 and then 72 after another brief pause. This room isn’t that big. I’m not very good at guessing room sizes, but it’s maybe thirty by thirty feet. There are about 72 chairs (6 rows of 12) in the room with a path around them all and a path down the middle of the chairs. The woman wasn’t giving anyone a chance. As I walked out, I heard two people say, “Hey they skipped my number.”
Sophia held my hand all the way down the stairs and across the parking lot to the truck. I had her let go so I could unlock the truck and she took off. OHGOD! Like most parking lots this one was filled with crazy drivers not paying any attention and in very close proximity to a very heavily traveled street. I chased her down. She thought mommy was playing games and took off faster until she tripped and hit her forehead on the pavement. This is her first road rash goose egg, and oh what a goose egg. The bruise she has under her eye from trying to climb up a slide is finally going away and she had to get yet another bruise. *sigh*
This crazy wintery year caused the tulips to become confused and they bloomed very late. There were fears that they would not bloom at all, which would have made for a very boring tulip festival. Every year when we go to the tulip festival Kurt will inevitably spot a Skagit Transit bus with its bold lettering that reads, “SKAT”. He of course feels compelled to read it aloud and snicker like a sixth grader. Tee-hee. SKAT! SKAT! SKAT! This reminded me of another local transit system, the South Lake Union Trolley. Yep, the S.L.U.T. Do you think the S.L.U.T. is into SKAT?
Well we didn’t ride the S.L.U.T. nor get into SKAT to arrive at the tulip festival. I know, we’re boring, but here are some very SKAT-less pictures.
Sophia didn’t want us to put her down at first. Kurt tried to put her on the ground but she just clung to his legs. In order to get her to smile in the pictures we had to pop her thumb out of her mouth. Once we made it to the Tulip Town buildings we were able to have her walk with us. She walked between us and held both of our hands, or rather, our fingers. She had such a death grip on mine that I think she cut off the circulation.
We walked around in the building and then back out to the fields again. The ruts in the field from the trackers were so deep that the poor kid looked like she was goose-stepping into Hitler’s toddler infantry.
Why do they call it an infantry if they’re all supposed to be adults?
Kurt and I went out to eat at Outback with Sophia last night. Sophia sat in a booster seat because she refuses to sit in a highchair anymore. Even a booster seat isn’t grown-up enough for her. She got an activity/coloring book and a little box with three crayons in it. I love that they always give a new set of crayons instead of the handful of broken ones they used to give back in the day.
Kurt ordered the ribeye and baked potato with everything on it. I ordered the filet tenderloin with stuffed shrimp and garlic mashed potatoes. And we got an extra plate for Sophia to share our food with us. She wound up eating some of my garlic mashed potatoes which she seemed to really like despite shuddering from the flavor overload and she also ate the tip off the blue crayon. Did I mention that I really appreciate that the crayons they give are new?
Kurt watched Sophia from across the table and mentioned that she was chewing on the crayon. I didn’t care about her chewing on it. I heard him say, “And now it’s gone.” I took that to mean that she had bit off part of the crayon, but no, he meant it was really gone. She swallowed it.
Monday I took Mini-Me to the park right next to her swim classes. They have a special play area that’s designed for two to five year-olds which is great because most other play areas are for five to twelve year-olds. They have an area for that age range too and of course, Sophia likes the slides in that area better. I was able to snap some pictures of her in the little kid play area before she ran over to the big kid slides where, I stupidly decided it was ok for her to try and walk up the slide since no one was in line to slide down. Mini-Me fell and hit her cheek on the side. There wasn’t an immediate bruise, but a couple days later her self imposed shiner, that was really the fault of my poor judgment, really shown through. Seriously, it looks like someone decked my toddler in the face with a full on knuckle sandwich.
She shrieked and cried for about a minute and then demanded down by squirming and headed right back for the slide. I convinced her it would be a lot more fun to climb the stairs and use the slide on the way down.
Wednesday I intended to meet up with a stay-at-home-mom group at a park closer to home. Four people including myself had RSVPed for an Earth Day park clean up get together. Some of the other group gatherings sounded a lot more appealing, but this one was close, fit our schedule, and nap time. I thought I was going to be late after chatting with my cousin on the phone, but was actually ten minutes early. There were a bunch of kids on the playground. I didn’t recognize any of the faces or names from the group website.
A trickle of rain sent everyone in the park home. That was sad considering we’re in western Washington and it rains ALL THE TIME. A few minutes later I saw more people arriving. I thought it might be my group, but no. As far as I could tell, they never showed. No matter. Sophia played on the slide and with the new group of kids she had a little boyfriend to play with. He was very encouraging of her and clapped and told her, “good job” when she arrived at the bottom of the slide.
Yesterday Kurt mowed the lawn after he finished I took Sophia out to play barefooted in the grass moss. She didn’t like it at first. I set Sophia on the ground and she immediately wanted up again. Between all the hazy grey rain we get and the huge cedar trees in our back yard, our front yard doesn’t see the sun very much thus the moss. That, and we could really care less about our lawn. We actually like the moss because it’s really spongy and doesn’t grow very tall.
I insisted that Sophia walk around on the grass moss and she did so as long as she could hold my hand. Kurt grabbed a milk crate from the garage to sit on while clearing brush trimming the rose bushes back. Sophia kept walking around the freshly cut grass, stopping, and looking at the bottom of her feet. She didn’t like that the grass was sticking to her, so once Kurt finished with the milk crate Sophia took over. All the nature and natural things around her and she had to flip the orange plastic milk crate over, get in it, and pick the grass off her feet.
The first disaster that initiated the rule of ‘everything happens in threes’ was that I received a letter from the county auditor. They never got our marriage papers. Something happened to them on their way from the courthouse to the county auditor and if it turns out our mail carrier works that neighborhood, I’m going to scream. The auditor has the license request on file but no license so I can’t get a certified copy required to change my name or get health insurance. Kurt has already initiated the health insurance paperwork through his employer, so I have insurance, but I’ll loose it in 60 days if this isn’t resolved by then. I called the judge that performed the ceremony and he wrote us a letter to give to Kurt’s employer. Hopefully that will keep me insured if this takes longer than 60 days.
On Friday, I took Sophia to the doctor for her eighteen-month baby wellness check up and it went really well. The nurse went through her usual routine of asking a bunch of milestone type questions and I felt awesome because I could answer “yes” to most of them. Does she drink from a cup? Yep. Does she walk with confidence? Absolutely! Does she help take her clothes off? Yes, especially her socks. She also tries to put her clothes back on by herself. Does she put words together to form phrases? She only has three words, “Da-DEE”, “key”, and “hi”. “Da-DEE” is obviously Kurt. “Key” is a Sophia derivative of kitty, but for Sophia means any four legged furry creature that ranges in size from mouse to moose. Our husky and malamute are both “key”. “Hi” is a greeting only reserved for Kurt, our indoor ‘key’, and I. “Hi” is usually accompanied by vigorous, almost frantic, waving. She’ll even wave at the cat, and he’s been known to wave back, though he doesn’t seem as happy. “Hi” is also occasionally followed by, “Da-DEE”, which for the nurse counts as a phrase. Yay!
The doctor appointment disaster hit when the nurse left and the doctor came in. His first question for me was, “Do you have any concerns?” Up until this point, my only concern was Sophia’s lack of words. Words have finally started to spring up. She’s still behind in that area according to my personal chart, but between her three words and the three baby signs she uses at least we’re communicating better. So my concern this time was something that had been bothering me since Sophia was ten or eleven months old, the bouts of what looked like pure baby rage. Only her rage is completely silent. Even after I told the doctor’s answer to Kurt, he still thinks Sophia is just experiencing a surge of adrenalin.
Three things made Kurt’s explanation not sit well with me. First, the occurrences are random. There are many time that there isn’t even a cause for frustration or anger at all. Second, when Sophia tenses up it’s ALL of her muscles including her jaw. Something about a toddler’s jaw locked in an open position without her making any nose seemed very odd. She’s a toddler, when a toddler’s mouth is open sound comes out, ALWAYS. Third, Sophia acts as if nothing just happened after a ‘surge of adrenalin’. I would think that a toddler would take at least a few minutes to calm down after an adrenalin surge.
The description I gave of Sophia’s episodes of muscle tensing led the doctor to confirm my fear. Those not from a surge of adrenalin. They’re seizures. He told me what type of seizure, but for the life of me, I can’t remember. It’s probably a good thing though, otherwise I’d be freaking out at all the descriptions, causes, treatments, and side effects listed on webmd.com. It may seem odd but part of me is just relieved that it isn’t fits of rage. I feared having to take her to years of therapy to control her anger or something, but of course, seizures bring a different set of fears. We just have to wait and watch that they don’t get worse. I hope that this is something that will disappear with age, preferably before she starts school.
Later the same day I received a call from the veterinary clinic. Chelan, our ten-year-old husky has been drinking water as if we live in the desert. She’s drinking about two and a half gallons of water a day! The results from her blood and urine tests had come back and the vet narrowed down the possibilities to the three most likely. The first is a chemical imbalance in the brain. We love Chelan but she has to be one of the dumbest dogs ever. She survives in our household on cuteness alone. Since bringing her home from the pound, we suspected a malfunctioning brain. The second possible cause is a malfunctioning gland, the name of which escapes me but it’s near the thyroid. The third is a form of cancer. In the morning, I’ll be setting up an appointment for further testing. It’ll take another week to get those results.