Category Archives: Pregnancy and Motherhood

From the truly tasteless and disgusting to emotional stories that feel very much like heartburn squirming on a pitchfork this is my parenting journey from pregnancy forward.

My Dancing Queens

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Every time I turn on one any of the toys that play music, Lukas’ arms fly up in the air.  He sits on the floor twisting at the waist swinging his arms as if he’s a conductor.  I always ask him, “Are you dancing?”  He just laughs and swings his arms even harder.

Lukas’ babbling, “ah bah bah”, makes him sound like he likes ABBA, so that is exactly what Kurt played for him.  Kurt called up a video on the interwebs and the boy was thrilled.  “Your boy is a dancing queen,” he called to me as he then proceeded to sing all the words to the song perfectly in sync with the video.

Lukas smiling at Sophia

Picture taken 10/14/2011. Lukas was being entertained by Sophia.

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Moments of As Good As it Gets Motherhood

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“NO! He’s touching it! He’s touching it!” She shrieks.

“What?”

“That!”

“I’m not in the room I can’t see. You need to say what that is.”

“That! That!”

“What?”

“My grocery cart.”

I go to look. He’s across the room from Sophia and the cart. Lukas isn’t even heading in that direction. He’s looking at her, confused by the shrieking. I walk away.

That mom moment in time is brought to you by Van Morrison and Lays Potato Chips, “There will be days you wish you’d stopped at one” and by the number Two.

The same day, moments later, I turn on Dinosaur Train for Sophia and tell her I’m going to take a shower. I take Lukas up to the bathroom with me. I bring some of his toys and a baby gate. Set him all up I leave the bathroom door open, and put the baby gate up in the doorway incase Sophia needs something I don’t have to worry about her leaving the bathroom door open for Lukas to discover the joys of gravity rolling him down a flight of stairs.
I turn on the water and wait for it to warm up. Lukas happily plays with his toys. I enter the shower, close the door and Lukas spontaneously erupts into tears because I’ve vanished into thin yet somewhat humid air. Forget it. It’s been three days. I need a shower. Seriously.

Then I hear Sophia. She can’t open the baby gate, but I could hear her either try to open it or lean on it. “It’s ok Lukas. It’s ok.” She says. My four-year-old came all the way upstairs while one of her favorite shows was playing downstairs just to try to calm her brother. He was quiet for a moment. He started up again, I assume, when she left to watch her show again. It didn’t work, but it was an effort much appreciated.

And now I’m tearing up just writing about it. OHGODDAMNIT! Do you know how hard it is to see this screen through tears?

Lukas

Sophia
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Flying Against The Seat

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No, not the swings! Anything but the swings! Don’t take the swings away. I remember a set of swings in the back corner of the old elementary school I attended in Alaska.

Dear Free-Range Kids: The risk adversity in the U.S. is out of control. I just read about the CPSC recalling 7 million candle holders because there was a single incident of one (one!!) melting.

This comes on the heels of a discussion we had at our Parks Board last week where the playground designer came in to talk about the safety of playground equipment. The gist of it was: there is such a permeating fear of lawsuits and the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CSPC) that playgrounds are required to be as generic as possible, lest a lawsuit occur. There was great discussion about the $600 test each playground inspector must take every three years to be certified to be able to even inspect a playground, and the number of people we have employed just to complete inspections on the equipment in our city alone. Each playground is inspected every 3-6 months: every screw and nut is examined, along with the width of all the poles, and evidence of settling, protrusions, wear, etc. It takes several hours to inspect one playground thoroughly and completely.

Swings are still allowed, but the CPSC rules –”which are treated as law” — are so stringent on how and where they’re installed, it’s almost not worth putting them in. It was so sad to listen to how the paranoia that has determined how playgrounds will be built, resulting in homogeneous, boring play zones for kids.

I was in the fourth grade. The elementary school I went was so old that it was closed a year or two after. There were a set of swings in the very back corner of the playground that my friends and I loved. The chains on these swings were longer than on others. We would lean into the seats of the swings with our stomach/ or chest, go to opposite corners of the swing set, and then we run in a circle causing the chains to twist. The result would send one or both of us flying against our seat and in some cases nearly hitting our back on the horizontal bar from which the swings hung. MYGOD what fun!

One afternoon, my wife and I took a drive around town to tour the various preschools. It was Sunday, so they were all closed. All we could do was check out the playgrounds. And that’s when we noticed something unusual.

“These playgrounds all suck,” my wife said.

She was right. Compared to the glorious expanse of fun our daughter had grown accustomed to at her preschool in upstate New York, these Jersey playgrounds were downright pathetic: small, cramped, and devoid of any remotely interesting equipment. They looked more like pens for dogs than playgrounds for kids.

And then we realized, simultaneously, what was missing: “No swings!”

I don’t think there are any swings in the play area for the preschoolers where Sophia goes either. Luckily I take her to other playgrounds on a regular basis and she knows the joys of swinging. I have yet to find a set of swings like the ones in that old playground in Alaska. They probably don’t exist anymore, but if I find any I’ll surly teach Sophia and Lukas how to fly on the swings!

Kurt and Sophia on the swings

Picture taken 9/20/2011. Kurt and Sophia on the swings at the Puyallup Fair.

Wave to the camera

Woo! Swinging!

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Little Devil on the Move

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Before Lukas was truly mobile, I thought I had caught a glimpse of him attempting to move in a butt-scooting fashion, and he may have in fact moved. That was back in the beginning of July. My July 3rd Facebook post was, “Really? Do we have another butt scooting baby?”

I went on a two-week trip to Alaska in mid-July. There it was quite clear he was more than content just sitting in one place. He wasn’t even curious enough about the new surroundings to pretend to explore. He just sat, playing with the same toy the entire visit.

Lukas with Great-Grandma

Picture taken 8/2/2011. Lukas with Great-Grandma

At his nine-month baby wellness checkup Lukas still wasn’t really mobile. The most he would do is shift his weight a bit or reach for something and fall over. A day after posting about Lukas’ nine-month checkup he learned how to push himself backwards on his belly with his hands. The only problem with it is that he actually wanted to go forward and the more he pushed the angrier he would make himself.

Lukas

Picture taken 9/7/2011.

Last week Lukas finally became truly mobile. He even moves in the direction he wants to go and he is SO happy about it. He is a butt scooter just like his sister was but he doesn’t move in stealth mode like she did. I have video of Sophia crawling to the kitchen to find me and except for her hand hitting the floor there is no sound from her. Lukas squeals and laughs with every move.

Little Devil on the move

Picture taken 10/5/2011.

Little Devil

Playing with his sister's birthday present. He loves wheels.

Today while I was getting laundry out of the dryer Lukas scooted from the playroom to the kitchen. He found the bag of potatoes from the neighbor on the floor and started taste testing each one.

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The Banning of Birthday Fun

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My daughter had her fourth birthday a couple weeks ago and there were of course balloons, as there were for her third and second birthdays. We had them filled with helium, and there are still some of those balloons lingering in the house in various states of deflation.

Last week my husband took one and inhaled the helium to show her how it makes his voice sound funny, but the one he picked must not have had enough of the gas left in it. It changed his voice, but not by much. Days later Sophia poked a hole in one of the balloons. I don’t know if she was trying to suck the air out or not, but later I saw her try to blow it back up again. She spent all day with that deflated balloon and no harm came to her or her ten month old brother who also got a hold of it at some point.

Watching her try so hard to blow it up it made me feel bad that I’ve never bought her a bag of balloons to just play with, and now seeing that Europe has put a ban on balloons for kids under eight I think it’s imperative that I buy some for her. Right now she doesn’t know how to shape her mouth so that she can blow. She had a hard time blowing out her candles. She tends to make a straight horizontal line with her mouth and the air she blows either comes out the sides or under her top teeth (blowing downward). Maybe a bag of balloons will help. I just need to let her know that her baby brother should not play with the deflated balloons, because he is a baby after all.

Blowing out the candle

This is a picture from Sophia's third birthday (hence the three). In this photo she is actually blowing on the candle, but clearly not forming her mouth correctly to do so.

I learned of the news link from Lenore of “Free Range Kids”.

*** Update 10/13/2011 ***
Is the EU going to ban children from blowing up balloons?

Although the claims made by the Telegraph doesn’t misrepresent the content of the EU safety directive, it does appear to exaggerate its case. The EU cannot in fact ‘ban’ the products mentioned, but merely require that warnings are carried on the packaging. Moreover, these are not ‘new’ requirements as the paper implies, and in fact have been in effect for over two decades.

Similar rules also exist in the US.

On Fisher-Price.com there is an article that answers the question, “Are Balloons Dangerous?” Their answer is yes, however in their answer they also have this…

According to the National SAFE KIDS Campaign, each year over 100,000 children under age 4 are treated in hospital emergency rooms for toy-related injuries, and 17 children die. Approximately one-third of the deaths result from choking; and one-third of the choking deaths result from latex balloons.

Now, lets do some math. Ignore the 100,000 injuries because that is from all toys. Let’s focus on the deaths, 17. 1/3 of the 17 deaths are from choking. 1/3 of the 1/3 of 17 deaths are from choking on latex balloons. 17 divided by 3 is 5.6, that’s the number of choking deaths. 5.6 divided by 3 is 1.8. 1.8 is the number of kids out of 17 toy-related deaths in a year. Two kids. Total. In the entire United States. Right now in 2011 there are about twenty five and a half million children ages five and under.

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Everybody Gets a Blanket but Me

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Costco had a coupon for a nice fleecy blanket last month. I didn’t really need a new blanket we have several. They’re each several years old but they’re still functional blankets. There was a two-blanket limit for the coupon price. I only bought one. That was a mistake.

I bought a dark chocolate brown color blanket so that it would go with our living room decor. I folded the blanket and kept it on out couch. With the colder temperatures approaching, I could use it while watching TV in the evening. Keeping the blanket convenient was also a mistake.

A few days ago, Kurt said, “I used your blanket.” Uumm ok, whatever. Then he told me he taught Sophia how to build a fort in the toy room using her slide. Oh balls. He of course used the blanket that was downstairs and most convenient. Fantastic. The person who never needs a blanket donated mine to the fort building cause. I don’t think I’ll be getting my blanket back anytime soon.

blanket fort

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Sophia’s Four-year Child Wellness Checkup

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I knew about how tall she was because when we took her to the fair she could go on many of the rides that she wanted to go on, but I had no idea her weight was equal to her height. Sophia is in the ninety-sixth percentile for height and the ninetieth for weight. She is forty-two and three quarter inches tall and forty-two pounds. Our child who seems to survive on air and sunshine in an area without the sunshine is doing great. Who knew the air had so many calories? The boy, the child that seems to eat his weight in milk, baby food, and graham crackers, is in the eighty-fifth percentile for height and doesn’t even reach the chart for weight. I should have him checked for worms. Really.

Walking to the room to wait for the doctor, we approach the scale to weigh the girl. She, just like last year, refuses to stand on the scale. She had a meltdown and melted into puddle against the wall holding her bunny and backpack she insisted on bringing. “Do you want to weigh your bunny?” the nurse asks.

“No! No! No!” she cried. After several attempts at trying trick her into getting on the scale, I just picked her up, stood there with the sobbing child, and then weighed myself without her…just like last year. Last year she weighed thirty-two pounds and was thirty-nine inches tall.

She passed all the milestone questions. “Does she know at least three colors?” Yes, Sophia knows all of her colors and even in the order they appear in the rainbow. “Can she dress herself?” Yes. “Can she speak in full sentences?” Yes…technically. Half the time I don’t know what the heck she’s talking about, but full sentences do happen. Maybe someday I’ll be able to get her to tell me about her day at school. Even with prompting, she doesn’t say a word this year. Last year if I prompted her she would at least say that they sang songs or something. This year when I ask she responds with, “No! No! don’t ask me!” or “No! No! Don’t tell me!” when I try prompting. She does like school though. She often asks if she can go to school or if it’s time to get ready yet.

wearing new birthday clothes

When it came time for shots the doctor described this bee they have that is a vibrating ice pack they put on the arms of kids Sophia’s age to numb the area so they don’t freak out about the shots as much. I just looked at him as he described it and said, “You saw her at the scale didn’t you?”

“Yes, ” he chuckled I saw.

“This will be interesting.”

“Yeah it might not work.”

We tried it and she fussed about even having the “bee” on her arm and then watched as the nurse put the shot in her arm and began to pull away. Yeah there really isn’t any tricking my child into things. It’ll ether happen or it won’t go well. Usually it’s the latter.

The nurse offered her a tiny toy lizard, a ring with a purple gemstone, and two princess stickers. “No! No! No! I don’t want it!” Yeah I’ll just take those. She’ll want them in the car.

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