Herb-Roasted Turkey Breast

• 1 whole bone-in turkey breast, 6 1/2 to 7 pounds
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic (3 cloves)
• 2 teaspoons dry mustard
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary leaves
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh sage leaves
• 1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 2 tablespoons good olive oil
• 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 1 cup dry white wine

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Place the turkey breast, skin side up, on a rack in a roasting pan.

In a small bowl, combine the garlic, mustard, herbs, salt, pepper, olive oil, and lemon juice to make a paste. Loosen the skin from the meat gently with your fingers and smear half of the paste directly on the meat. Spread the remaining paste evenly on the skin. Pour the wine into the bottom of the roasting pan.

Roast the turkey for 1 3/4 to 2 hours, until the skin is golden brown and an instant-read thermometer registers 165 degrees F when inserted into the thickest and meatiest areas of the breast. (I test in several places.) If the skin is over-browning, cover the breast loosely with aluminum foil. When the turkey is done, cover with foil and allow it to rest at room temperature for 15 minutes. Slice and serve with the pan juices spooned over the turkey.

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“I wish they would come to our house.”

“There are plants you can use to attract them.”

“Yeah, I was looking at plants to attract hummingbirds. Do you think they would attract deer too?”

“I don’t know. Do deer eat hummingbirds?”

*glaring*

“Yes, carnivorous deer with huge teeth.”

Picture taken 10/17/11.

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Store seeds carefully by placing envelopes inside large glass jars with a bag of silica or powdered milk. These products absorb excess moisture.

I made a seed envelope out of parchment paper and then added the powdered milk to a zip-lock bag and put the envelope in it. I might hunt around for my canning jars instead of the zip-lock bag, but that’s where it is for now.

That pumpkin that I have the envelop propped up against…that pumpkin is next on the seed harvesting list.

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“With all the food I’m surprised that there aren’t more bugs here.”

“The bugs ate the food and died.”

“Where are the bug carcasses?”

“See the dust?”

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There have been books and magazines published with helpful hints in household management for homemakers for quite some time, and those are great. The old ones are a rather scary glimpse into the history of the woman’s roll in life, but all that I’ve seen assume a certain amount of intelligence on the receiving end. That’s the part that seems to be missing in modern helpful hints and it’s making my ass twitch. I could give the overused example of warnings on the use of hairdryers in the shower, but I have a more subtle example.

On my trip to Alaska this summer I was introduced to horseradish mustard and the wonderfulness it adds to a sandwich. I also fell in love with the lunch meat we purchased there and so when I got home I began buying the same Private Selection Home Style Slow Roasted – Roast Beef from Fred Meyer. One horrifying day I opened the clear plastic container and saw that the label had print on the other side which was only visible while the package is open. I took off the label and read it…

Sandwich Ingredients:
Makes 1 sandwich
1 each Club or Kaiser roll (Hard roll)
5 to 6 slices Private Selection Roast Beef
2 slices Private Selection cheddar
1 T Balsamic Vinegar
1 Lettuce leaf
2 slices Tomato

Method:
1. Split the roll in half lengthwise. Drizzle the vinegar on both sides of the roll.
2. Lay the roast beef and cheese on the one side of the roll.
3. Add tomato and lettuce and top with the other side of the roll.

1. What United States American doesn’t know how to assemble a sandwich?
2. If someone doesn’t know what to do with thinly sliced roast beef what the fuck are they doing purchasing it?
3. Would anyone really buy a packaged food hoping that there are instructions for use in the inside?

If we play along and believe that food needs to be dumbed down for us all then I need to point out there was a distinct lack of pictures, and they did not specify that the vinegar needs to be drizzled on the sliced side of each piece of bread. It was also not stated that the 5 to 6 slices Private Selection Roast Beef, 2 slices Private Selection cheddar, 1 Lettuce leaf, and 2 slices Tomato go between the two sliced sides of the bread. Lastly, they have it all wrong because there is no mention of horse radish mustard. Seriously, that makes the sandwich.

I had a friend from China who told me a story about her first potluck where some food assembly was required. She said she had never had a sandwich before and thought there was a specific way to assemble this meal so she was looking to her friends for help and instruction. Her story I completely understand, and now that she’s been in the US for a while she sees the humor in thinking that there was one way to assemble a sandwich. These instructions for a roast beef sandwich make me sad.

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Picture taken 9/16/2011

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Because bacon was the only meat she would eat and not a terribly healthy one at that, I didn’t mind when Kurt introduced her to chicken nuggets. I never thought I would view chicken nuggets as a victory. Never. After a while Sophia branched out and would eat chicken at home when I breaded it with Panko. That was a much greater victory for me since I don’t fry the chicken. Eventually Sophia progressed to eating chicken without a crunchy cover and then… one day…

I went to Costco and bought one of their yummy Kirkland Signature foods. I warmed it up and set it at the table. Kurt announced to Sophia that it was chicken. It wasn’t. Not even close. It was smoked pulled pork, and Sophia likes it A LOT. Of course now we call all meat chicken just to increase the odds of it’s edibility and when Kurt wants to know what’s for dinner I have to specify the type of chicken that I’m serving. It’s pork chicken.

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I am worried about this little guy though…

He arrived in a brown paper bag carried by my ginning three year old, “look I made!” I couldn’t even tell what the hell kind of plant it was. Great. I checked Sophia’s backpack hoping for some clues as to what kind of plant I’m going to have to apologize profusely for killing in the next few days. Nothing. How the hell do I not kill this when it’s not even labeled?

When I finally felt brave enough to take it out of the bag…seriously I handle plants like they’re even more fragile than the most thin shelled egg because I’ve found that I’m about that deadly to them. Written on the side of the cup was the plant type. Ahh it’s a green bean plant. I posted quick plea for instruction on Facebook to my more plant friendly friends. I was informed that it could be a bush like green bean of which I had no idea existed or a vine type. I thought all green beans were vine like. *shrug* I found that either way I could just put it in an eight to ten inch pot and if it got all vine-y on me I could put a stick in there for green bean guidance. Thank you Rebecca.

I’m so happy that the green bean plant has made it a whole month in my care that I’m now really testing the limits. I bought a Meyers lemon tree. Yep, I’m going to try and grow citrus in Washington State. The state that routinely evades sunny summer weather until after July 5th, yep, that state. Citrus.

Thankfully, I have a good luck gnome. It’s a four handed garden gnome. Never heard of those? Check it out, I have a picture…

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I don’t know why for sure but I’m guessing it has to do with my use of fresh garlic verses I would assume powdered garlic from restaurants. All I know is that when I add garlic to something it just doesn’t affect him that badly. I’ve told him this repeatedly, and repeatedly when he has seen me add garlic he’ll tell me it’s my own fault if he smells. It’s worse than trying to get Sophia to remember to use her polite words when she wants something. I think it has finally gotten to the point where I can just glare at him and he’ll suddenly remember the nearly twelve years of me informing him that it’s only really bad when he goes out to eat.

Last week I bought a box of parmesan and herb panko for the first time and I also purchased some thin cut chicken breasts for- Da Dada Daa! – breaded chicken. Kurt opened the pantry and saw all the panko I had…a huge unopened box of plain panko from Costco, a small opened box of plain panko from a store that sells things in non-Costco sizes, and the newly purchased herb panko. Even though the boxes were different, he didn’t notice that there were two flavors of panko. We had a long conversation about why there was so much panko populating the pantry. That night we ate Parmesan and herb panko breaded chicken. It was good and I didn’t have to add anything extra to flavor the chicken. All the flavor was in the panko and I didn’t have to work any harder to create it. It wasn’t super magical tasting but it was good.

A week later Kurt is snooping around the pantry again and he says, “Parmesan and herb panko? You never use that do you?” Which one of us is sleep deprived? Sometimes I wonder why I even bother talking to him. And then he gets mad when he asks me what’s for dinner and I answer, “Food”. What difference does it make? He’s not going to remember ever having it anyway. I glared at him. “Oh yes you do use it, and it was fantastic!” He said not remembering at all.

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