Category Archives: Soapbox

Emails, life events, and things in the news that catch my attention and annoy me enough to rant about or interest me enough to comment on yell and scream about. Usually things regarding religious and political groups that insist on regulating the lives and lifestyles others with stupid laws and random taxation.

The ’25 things’ list

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I’m clearing out everything I’ve put in Facebook because I plan to close my account there. I’m not sure when, probably not for another few months. I don’t actually want to get rid of everything, so I’m putting it here. I posted this in my Facebook notes on January 29, 2009…

I’ve been tagged with this three times in two days, so I guess I’ll give it a shot.

Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

  1. I’m a huge geek
  2. My dad taught me binary when I was five.
  3. When I was five I would sit for HOURS typing in zeros and ones in order to get a program to work on a machine that only had RAM (no hard drive). If I made a mistake, I had to start all over again.
  4. I have almost nothing in common with my mother.
  5. There were four blissful years where my mother didn’t even know where I lived.
  6. If there had been a creative spelling class in high school, I would have aced it in ways no one else could. Spell-check is like a godsend for me.
  7. I wish I had been related to George Carlin.
  8. I’m an only child.
  9. I wish I had siblings.
  10. I love to clean, but this doesn’t mean I judge people who don’t keep their house tidy. Like most people, I’m more comfortable in a healthy clean as opposed to a sterile clean environment.
  11. My grandpa taught me how to play cribbage.
  12. I double skunked my grandpa at age seven. He said, “Damn it I taught you too well.” He was not one to let someone win, just because.
  13. I was born and raised in Alaska and I miss it there, but I know it’s because I miss the nostalgic childhood stuff about it not because I want to live where winter weather is twenty below zero without wind-chill.
  14. I’m a frickin’ lizard, I don’t do well in cold climates.
  15. I was always in the lowest level reading classes in school.
  16. I have a very hard time getting ‘into’ a book.
  17. I didn’t discover the joy of reading until I was 16-ish when I discovered true crime books, specifically serial killer books.
  18. I would have discovered serial killer books when I was ten but the librarian who was also a nun nearly shit herself when I asked for a book about Jack the Ripper. She said they didn’t have any. I’m pretty sure she lied. Bitch.
  19. I sneer when I hear stupid shit.
  20. I sneer A LOT.
  21. I can’t lie. I can withhold truth, but cannot actually lie. So I haven’t bothered trying since I was a kid (about 14).
  22. I don’t dream very often, maybe once a year.
  23. I dwell on things A LOT.
  24. I have a very good memory especially for things I hear.
  25. I ace lecture classes, unless the teacher is a total ass hat and doesn’t test on the lectures.
  26. I curse A LOT.
  27. I don’t follow rules that I think are stupid hence, I’m on number 27 and won’t be sending this to 25 people. Deal with it. That’s right, I’m a rebel. I’m a wild woman. Can’t hold me back now. Ok, I’m done.

About number 6, now that my daughter is in preschool and I’ve had the pleasure of seeing how people in the real world are spelling the names of the children the supposedly love, I’m not so sure I would have aced a creative spelling class. I honestly would have never come up with an apostrophe in the middle of a name.

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Bullies Harassing for Jesus

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It was my sophomore year of high school and I had just moved from a town in Alaska of about six thousand people to a city in the Seattle area with about fifty thousand. It was a bit of a culture shock, but I quickly found a friend. She was in my Spanish class. She was funny and had some wild stories, which as I reflect on as an adult seem rather farfetched.

She told me one time about a friend of hers that was raped in a gas station bathroom. Her friend called her and she drove to pick up that friend. The only issue I had with that part of the story was that my classmate was only fifteen at the time of the story telling, so she had no license. Also at this time most cars were stick shift, so unless someone had taught her to drive it’s not like ten year old can just hop in the driver seat and take off as if it were a video game. Ya know.

Anyway, I don’t remember if it was the same girl or another girl she knew who had been raped, became pregnant, and kept the baby. My classmate looked at me searching for a response, but I had none. I thought it rather amazing that she personally knew someone that had gone through such an ordeal, because even then I knew that it was statistically improbable to not only be raped by a stranger but become pregnant from the one encounter. It was also odd that I had not come across such a news story in the paper because that’s the sort of thing I would have clipped. I’ve been a sick little fuck for a long time. I said nothing, so she continued by telling me that because of that one friend, she knows that anyone could do it and that abortion for any reason is just wrong. Wow. Talk about a logical fallacy. I certainly did not agree with that. I could never look a rape victim in the face and say they absolutely had to keep the resulting pregnancy to term. I was speechless.

Various stories like this went on for weeks. Some of them light and fun others more on the uuhh preachy side. Finally one day she asked me, “What religion are you?”

“I’m Catholic.” I said without hesitation. I had been and continued to be raised as Catholic at that point. I had no reason to say otherwise except that I had always had a hard time choking down the conflicting scriptures and that a deity would create human nature and then make moral rules that oppose it. You know, it’s the fine print I had issues with. The part no one else seems to read.

My classmate then says, “Oh I’m sorry.”

I laughed. I thought she was also Catholic. It’s sort of a common joke that the Catholic religion is a tough one to follow and that even the Catholics themselves feel bad they’re stuck with it.

She again said, “I’m so sorry for you.” But with a more serious tone.

I stopped laughing, “Why?”

“Because you’re going to hell.” She handed me a pamphlet and told me to read it. I glanced at it. I had no interest in reading her pamphlet. Whatever her religion was I knew it was nothing more than a spinoff of the one I had been raised in. I don’t know at what point I tossed it in the trash, but I’m sure it never made it home.

Now at no point did I ever feel bullied. Maybe let down by someone I thought of as a potential friend, but nothing I would cause me to commit suicide. I think most can see how this might make someone more religious feel bad. To tell a religious person in seriousness that they’re going to hell, well it’s rude to say the least. I could see someone with her beliefs, and the bluntness with which she told another Christian who didn’t follow her beliefs with lock-step exactness, telling another person their beliefs/lifestyle/manner in which they were born is an abomination. I can’t understand why the people that hold those beliefs feel compelled to push them onto others and I don’t think they should be separated from bullying laws. Harassing a person to tears or more is still harassment even if it happens to be motivated by religion.

The Michigan legislature is about to pass an anti-bullying law that says in the law that bullying is ok if you do it for “religious reasons.”

In an emotional speech on the Senate floor, Democratic Leader Gretchen Whitmer accused her colleagues of creating a blueprint for consequence-free bullying. “As passed today,” said Whitmer, “bullying kids is okay if a student, parent, teacher or school employee can come up with a moral or religious reason for doing it.”

The bill is called “Matt’s Safe School Law,” after Matt Epling, a Michigan student who committed suicide in 2002 after enduring prolonged bullying. Matt’s father, Kevin Epling, expressed his dismay in a Facebook post after the state senate vote on Wednesday. “I am ashamed that this could be Michigan’s bill on anti-bullying,” wrote Epling. “For years the line [from Republicans] has been ‘no protected classes,’ and the first thing they throw in…was a very protected class, and limited them from repercussions of their own actions.”

Link to the amended version of the bill on the Michigan legislature’s website:
http://www.legislature.mi.gov/documents/2011-2012/billengrossed/Senate/htm/2011-SEBS-0137.htm

(8) This section does not abridge the rights under the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States or under article I of the state constitution of 1963 of a school employee, school volunteer, pupil, or a pupil’s parent or guardian. This section does not prohibit a statement of a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction of a school employee, school volunteer, pupil, or a pupil’s parent or guardian.

If you disagree with this law, please email the people below. Please do this even if you live out of state or in a country other than the USA. You may want to mention that you will not visit Michigan or spend any money there if this bill making bullying a legal right passes. The bill name is Senate Bill No. 137.

Email:
Michigan’s governor, Rick Snyder, at Rick.Snyder@michigan.gov
Speaker of the House: JaseBolger@house.mi.gov

If you live in the state of Michigan, find your representative here and email them: http://www.house.mi.gov/mhrpublic/

Help stop this bill and you could be saving the lives of many people who are bullied to the point of suicide.

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55 Flash non-Fiction Friday: Fun Size

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They say bigger is better. That’s a myth, but no one wants to pretend that a tiny bit will do the job. It’s embarrassing to want seconds and thirds just to get enough.

Who the hell came up with the “fun size” Halloween candy? There is nothing fun about that size!

What were you thinking?

fun size

55 Flash Fiction Friday

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Brian Williams MasterCard Sellout

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So many classes peeked my interest when I started going to college. I probably took a year’s worth of classes before I figured out what I even wanted to be when I got around to growing up. One of those extra classes that had absolutely nothing to do with my ultimate goal but have forever been thankful I took was called, “Mass Media”. It was linked with a required English class, so even if I hadn’t found it so useful the other half was pointing me in the direction of a degree.

That class taught me to see behind the theatrics of televised news, to question statistics, take notice of the verbiage used, and pay attention to the time allotted to each news story. All of those things used to push an opinion onto the viewer.

I rarely watch the news anymore. I prefer to read it. It allows me to determine what news is important and how much time I want to spend on a given topic. In addition, seeing the words allows me to mentally circle any slanted language and not be so easily suckered into frivolously taking a side or even accepting that the story presented qualifies as news.

A piece that aired on October 27th 2011 about aspirin made Brian Williams lose all credibility.

A bottle of generic Aspirin – $4.29

Medical research – Tens of billions of dollars

A household item that could prevent a range of illnesses…

Priceless

aspirin reduces cancer risk

I don’t want news that is an extension to a MasterCard commercial. I don’t find it cute. It’s silly to try and make the news “hip”. I don’t want to be entertained by the news. I turn to the news for facts. I know I’m asking too much though, because the news is tightly controlled. It took two weeks before the major news began showing the Wall Street protests that began on September 17th.

On the other hand, the conspiracy theorist in me wonders if Brian Williams bit about aspirin being priceless was a message from the big corporations. Was that actually a big Fuck You from WallStreet to the protesters? The major corporations’ way of saying, “Here’s your fuckin’ healthcare.” Just a thought. Just let it fester in your head for a little while.

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55 Flash non-Fiction Friday: Random BJ, Selection Morality

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‘Schweddy Balls‘, juvenile humor, hits their radar. Their complaint states disapproval of “Hubby Hubby” (a tribute to gay marriage).  But they make no mention of ‘Karamel Sutra’, which I did find at the store. Maybe the original “Sex for Dummies” guide could help them overcome fear of ‘Schweddy Balls’.  It’s only ice cream after all.

BJ's Karamel Sutra

55 Flash Fiction Friday

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Wise Old…Crow?

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Years ago, I lived in a tiny shack of a cabin. It was part of a cluster of tiny cabins that had been built in the 1930’s or 40’s as summer cottages. Each cabin was on a concrete slab and was made of cement and chicken wire. I know this because the cement was falling off the sides faster than the rental manager could paint over it and the chicken wire was showing through.

The concrete slab that my tiny “summer cottage” rested on was cracked. Every time it rained, and this was in the Seattle area, water came up through the crack. If the carpet wasn’t still saturated from the previous rainy day it absorbed the water. That place smelled FANTASTIC.

Aside from it being the second cheapest place to rent on all of Whidbey Island, the one plus was the huge picture window that only my cabin had. Situated next to a two-lane street that hugged Puget Sound and overlooked Penn Cove. I had a one of a kind view.

In the spring and summer, I watched sailboats galore, seabirds, beachfront, and waves. It was spectacular. But the one thing I loved watching the most were the crazy crows.

crow

For a while I thought what they were doing was accidental or just birds being messy pests, but one day when I really stopped to watch I realized something amazing about them. I watched those cunning crows pick muscles from the rocks on the beach, purposely drop them on the road, wait for a car to run the muscles over, and then snack on the muscle meat. Those are some clever birds!

Those ever so lovely “summer cottages” were demolished about a year or two after I moved out.

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Flying Against The Seat

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No, not the swings! Anything but the swings! Don’t take the swings away. I remember a set of swings in the back corner of the old elementary school I attended in Alaska.

Dear Free-Range Kids: The risk adversity in the U.S. is out of control. I just read about the CPSC recalling 7 million candle holders because there was a single incident of one (one!!) melting.

This comes on the heels of a discussion we had at our Parks Board last week where the playground designer came in to talk about the safety of playground equipment. The gist of it was: there is such a permeating fear of lawsuits and the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CSPC) that playgrounds are required to be as generic as possible, lest a lawsuit occur. There was great discussion about the $600 test each playground inspector must take every three years to be certified to be able to even inspect a playground, and the number of people we have employed just to complete inspections on the equipment in our city alone. Each playground is inspected every 3-6 months: every screw and nut is examined, along with the width of all the poles, and evidence of settling, protrusions, wear, etc. It takes several hours to inspect one playground thoroughly and completely.

Swings are still allowed, but the CPSC rules –”which are treated as law” — are so stringent on how and where they’re installed, it’s almost not worth putting them in. It was so sad to listen to how the paranoia that has determined how playgrounds will be built, resulting in homogeneous, boring play zones for kids.

I was in the fourth grade. The elementary school I went was so old that it was closed a year or two after. There were a set of swings in the very back corner of the playground that my friends and I loved. The chains on these swings were longer than on others. We would lean into the seats of the swings with our stomach/ or chest, go to opposite corners of the swing set, and then we run in a circle causing the chains to twist. The result would send one or both of us flying against our seat and in some cases nearly hitting our back on the horizontal bar from which the swings hung. MYGOD what fun!

One afternoon, my wife and I took a drive around town to tour the various preschools. It was Sunday, so they were all closed. All we could do was check out the playgrounds. And that’s when we noticed something unusual.

“These playgrounds all suck,” my wife said.

She was right. Compared to the glorious expanse of fun our daughter had grown accustomed to at her preschool in upstate New York, these Jersey playgrounds were downright pathetic: small, cramped, and devoid of any remotely interesting equipment. They looked more like pens for dogs than playgrounds for kids.

And then we realized, simultaneously, what was missing: “No swings!”

I don’t think there are any swings in the play area for the preschoolers where Sophia goes either. Luckily I take her to other playgrounds on a regular basis and she knows the joys of swinging. I have yet to find a set of swings like the ones in that old playground in Alaska. They probably don’t exist anymore, but if I find any I’ll surly teach Sophia and Lukas how to fly on the swings!

Kurt and Sophia on the swings

Picture taken 9/20/2011. Kurt and Sophia on the swings at the Puyallup Fair.

Wave to the camera

Woo! Swinging!

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Million Humorless Moms Perusing Narrow-mindedness

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In 1998 Alec Baldwin was featured in a Saturday Night Live, NPR spoof skit. He played baker Pete Schweddy, the owner of a holiday bakery called Season’s Eatings. “There are lots of great treats this time of year,” Schweddy says. “Zucchini bread, fruitcake, but the thing I most like to bring out at this time of the year are my balls.” He promises, “No one can resist my Schweddy balls.”

Ben & Jerry’s now have Schweddy Balls ice cream, which was an instant success the moment it was announced. Now some supermarket chains are blacklisting the Saturday Night Live inspired ice cream flavor. The ice cream flavor features fudge-covered rum and malt balls, which are more offensive than any other chocolate covered ball to conservative organizations like One Million Moms simply because of the name.

Ben & Jerry’s announced their newest ice cream flavor which sounds anything but appealing. Schweddy Balls is the best they could come up with. The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket.

I think it’s pretty damn funny and I’m hoping I can find it at my grocery store. I’ll even stop at a few different stores just to find it. I’m going make sure to bring my kids with me too.

If while rolling the cart down the ice cream aisle my four year old actually picks out that ONE particular ice cream and says it by name I will be truly amazed. AMAZED I tell you. If she can do that, I’ll know that these One Million Moms aren’t just wasting their time wringing their hands and foaming at the mouth of every ad that isn’t praising their lord, because anything less than that is simply vile. I’ll personally write them a letter thanking them for their public service of saving all the children from Schweddy Balls ice cream. Really, I promise.

That Mississippi-based moms organization has been putting the heat on retailers to keep Schweddy Balls out of their freezers and encouraging parents to ask the Vermont-based Ben & Jerry’s to stop production of the item, saying the name is nothing but locker room humor that’s not appropriate for young children.

If a “young child” has seen the Saturday Night Live skit and understands it then they aren’t so young and it’s still just ice cream. Seriously. Get a grip. Perhaps members of One Million Moms and other conservative groups tried speaking with their children and spending time with them trivial things like Schweddy Balls ice cream wouldn’t matter. I didn’t even know about it until a friend sent me a link about this otherwise non-issue.

Judging by the list of things the One Million Moms group is protesting I’m betting most conversations go something like this, “Hey mom can you take me to the park?” “Sorry honey I can’t I’m too busy pushing my own morals down the throats of other people and their children because I can’t be bothered to learn where the off button is on our TV.”

Ben and Jerrys Schweddy Balls

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Texas, Always Striving to put Education First

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I’m sure Rick Perry doesn’t directly have much to do with the Texas educational system, but when the governor brags about the number of jobs created in his state without indication that they’re minimum wage jobs, and then I read about Texas universities cutting undergraduate Physics programs…It’s a George Carlin rant unfolding before our very eyes. Sustain the American Dream; you too can be rich if you just work hard enough. However, they aren’t going to put money into education because they only want people smart enough to operate the machines.

If any proof that college is only there as a money-making business look no further. the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board, which oversees 24 public universities is taking the axe to the physics programs of seven of their universities due to low numbers of graduates. I guess it’s just easier to throw in the towel than to try to recruit students to those programs.

Physics programs at Midwestern State, Prairie View A&M, Tarleton State, Texas Southern, University of Texas-Brownsville and West Texas A&M are all losing their undergraduate physics programs. Current students can finish out their degree, while no new physics students can be accepted. Texas A&M Commerce, the University of Texas-Pan American and Texas Tech are all on two-year probation.

Odd how in the first sentence in that paragraph it states that the undergraduate physics programs of the listed colleges will be cut, but in the last line it’s stated that three of the same colleges are only on a two-year probation. Which is it?

“This is something that has been an ongoing effort at the coordinating board–to look at low producing programs,” Stephenson said. “One of the challenges is how to allocate resources and make sure that students are getting the education that they need.”

Honestly, they aren’t getting the education they need if the answer is to cut a fundamental science track for budget reasons. It’s like cutting spelling out of English classes due to lack of interest.

Homescholers for Perry

I’m just sayin’.

All through the article it talks about “low producing programs” and that these are money saving cuts, but then…

Daniel Marble, an assistant professor at Tarleton State University, does not think that shutting down the programs will save the state much money. Though the physics and hydrology degrees at his school are being discontinued, there are no planned layoffs associated with the shutdown.

“There’s no savings whatsoever,” Marble said. “Their job is to kill programs.”

How is that saving money?

He said also that graduation numbers alone were not indicative of the health of the program. On the one hand he said that the physics program at his school has grown over the last few years and was set to graduate at least 5 students in 2012 and 2013. In addition Tarleton participated in a consortium with five other rural Texas schools where a professor would teach a class at his or her home institution, and that lesson would be telecast to the other schools. While all the schools shared in teaching the courses, students only graduated from one of the institutions, making graduation rates seem smaller than the number of students enrolled.

So they set up these special classes, which help students and saves the institution money but they still count the progress in the same way as any other program, by number of graduates at the individual institution? What group of knuckle dragging math incapable science haters is running this board?

Heather Galloway, director of the University Honors program at Texas State University San Marcos and a member of the APS Executive Board, said that she was worried about the effect that closing the programs would have on the state. Texas passed a law requiring that all high school students to take physics classes, starting in 2005. Galloway said she was worried that there would be fewer universities to produce high school physics teachers.

Considering Texas ranks 50th in number of adults with a high school diploma I’m guessing that finding any teachers at all might be difficult.

“At a time when we should be building capacity to produce physics teachers, we are cutting programs,” Galloway said. “There is a shortage of physics teachers and it’s not going to get better.”

I think The Big Bang Theory should write an episode about all this.

The only thing that doesn’t fit is that NASA, based out of Houston, which at last check was still in Texas, is recruiting anyone with an engineer, science or math related degree. The way they wrote it up it’s like they’re looking for anyone that has at one time or another thought about college. I can envision the interviews for that now. It’s like watching trains collide in slow motion.

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Remember, Remember the 5th of November

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Remember, remember the 5th of November, the gun powder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gun powder treason should ever be forgot.

Remember November the 5th

Eddie Colla created the Guy Fawkes imagery used by BANK TRANSFER DAY

In case you haven’t heard, this November 5th is Bank Transfer Day.

Why Was Bank Transfer Day Started?

The Durbin Amendment is an add-on to the Dodd–Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act (Public Law No. 111-203), signed into law by President Barack Obama on July 21, 2010. The Act allows the Federal Reserve to regulate debit card interchange fees of banks with over $10 billion in assets. Over the summer, the Fed released the final rule on the matter by limiting debit card interchange fees to a maximum of 21¢ per transaction.

In response, these corporate-level banks have decided that beginning early 2012 any consumer with less than $20,000 in combined accounts will be charged a monthly $3-5 fee if they use their debit card at any point during the month. This new fee clearly targets the impoverished & working class. After endless research, the organizer concluded that her money would be put to better use on the local level through not-for-profit credit unions.

  • With the Durbin Amendment in effect, banks will still make 19¢ profit per processed transaction [*1]
  • The average consumer uses his/her debit card 24 times per month [*2]
  • Without the additional fee, Bank of America stands to turn a $3,228,480,000 annual profit from its 59 million customers’ debit card transactions [*3]
  • Without the additional fee, Wells Fargo stands to turn a $2,626,560,000 annual profit from its 48 million customers’ debit card transactions [*4]
  • Without the additional fee, JP Morgan (Chase) stands to turn a $4,924,800,000 annual profit from its 90 million customers’ debit card transactions [*5]

Who’s behind Bank Transfer Day?
How do I join in?

  • Research your local credit union options
  • Open an account with the one that best suits your needs
  • Cancel all automatic withdrawals & deposits to your old bank account
  • Transfer your funds to the new account
  • Follow your bank’s procedures to close your account on or before 11/05
  • RSVP to http://tinyurl.com/nov-fifth
  • Spread the word!

Why credit unions?

There are a lot of videos out of people being arrested for trying to close their accounts. I want to encourage people to continue to go and close their accounts at these major banks, or I wouldn’t have posted this, so I want to emphasize the paragraph on the “how to join” section of the Bank Transfer Day page…

Bank Transfer Day encourages supporters to close their accounts just as they opened them– independently, with respect and without signage. When asked why you’re closing your account, feel free to be frank. Calmly communicating your reasons for closing your account are vastly different from causing a public disturbance. While we understand that many of you feel very strongly about this, please remember that the employees at your local bank branch have no control over the structure of their company. As banks are private property, signage or a group demonstration will likely result in your being asked to leave. If you refuse, you can be arrested for trespassing. Let’s keep this peaceful & legal!

  • Go Alone. Only bring the person/people you have a joint account with if necessary to close the account. Do not go with a huge group or mob.
  • Do not bring protest signs.
  • Close the account as unceremoniously as it was opened.
  • Don’t badger or belittle the employees. They aren’t the enemy. They just work there.

I just closed out my Chase account and have some advice for November 5 I wanted to share.
Breaking: 30 Citibank customers arrested for closing their account [With Citibank Statement Update]
NYC Citibank Occupation Arrests
#OccupyWallSt: 24 arrested at Citibank, closing their bank accounts
Occupy Santa Cruz – Bank of America refusing to close account

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