Christmas vs. Holiday Wars

It’s here again this year. I was at this little mom & pop sandwich place for lunch today and one of the servers wished, “Happy Holidays” as a customer was leaving. Her boss, the owner said to her, “It’s Merry Christmas here. Even Wal-Mart is saying Christmas now.”

I’ll start with the first offensive sentence… First, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, so really if you wanted your server to specify a holiday it should be Happy Thanksgiving. Christmas is next month. Second of all some magic time after Halloween, it becomes the Holiday Season. November, December and January all have major holidays celebrated by the majority of people in this country, so instead of listing them all we use the word holiday and group them all together to make it easy to yell out as someone is walking away.

As for the second evil sentence… Does Wal-Mart really create the standard to which all other businesses operate? I hope not, with the treatment given to their workers and crappy non-union pay even for the grocery department. Granted unions are not perfect but Wal-Mart embodies all the reasons that caused unions to form.

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Borat made money, Lets sue!

Now Romanians Say ‘Borat’ Misled Them

Nov 14, 9:08 AM (ET)

By WILLIAM J. KOLE
GLOD, Romania (AP) – The name of this remote Romanian village means “mud,” and that’s exactly what angry locals are throwing at comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.

Cohen used Glod’s Gypsies as stand-ins for Kazakhs in his runaway hit movie, “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.” Now offended villagers are threatening to sue the film’s producers for paying them a pittance to put farm animals in their homes and perform other crude antics.

Residents and local officials in the hardscrabble hamlet 85 miles northwest of Bucharest said Tuesday they were horrified and humiliated to learn their abject poverty and simple ways were ridiculed for a movie now raking in millions at box offices worldwide.

“We thought they came here to help us – not mock us,” said Dana Luca, 40, sweeping a manure-stained street lined with shabby homes of crumbling brick and corrugated iron sheeting.

You have got to be kidding me? They have them put a cow in their house, give five year-old children guns to play with, strap a rubber fist to a guy’s stump, put huge silicone breasts on a 75 year-old and say that she’s 47, but you had no idea this wasn’t a true documentary?

“We haven’t got anything here. We haven’t got running water. We can’t even bathe,” she said. “We are poor people, but we are still people.”

Yes, yes you are. You are people willing to put a cow in your house for $3 to $5 bucks.

Nicolae Staicu, leader of the 1,670 Gypsies, or Roma, who eke out a living in one of the most impoverished corners of Romania, said he and other officials would meet with a public ombudsman on Wednesday to map out a legal strategy against Cohen and “Borat” distributor 20th Century Fox.

Staicu accused the producers of paying locals just $3.30-$5.50, misleading the village into thinking the movie would be a documentary, refusing to sign proper filming contracts and enticing easily exploited peasants into performing crass acts.

Only five villagers have jobs at a nearby sanatorium and a stone quarry, Staicu said. The rest weave baskets, grow apples, pears and plums, gather mushrooms in the dense Carpathian Mountain forests rising above the town, or raise a few scrawny chickens.

With no gas heating or indoor plumbing, most keep warm with wood stoves and drink from wells. Horse-drawn carts far outnumber automobiles on unpaved, badly potholed roads, and mangy stray dogs growl and snap at strangers. Acrid fires smolder in trash piles on the outskirts of the village, and children – their clothing worn and torn – play in yards littered with stumps, scrap metal and other bric-a-brac.

“These people are poor and they were tricked by people more intelligent than us,” he said. “They took one of our 75-year-old ladies, put huge silicone breasts on her and said she was 47. Another man they filmed to look like the poorest person in the world, and one of our men who is missing an arm had a plastic sex toy taped to his stump.”

Poor = too stupid to know that when they’re asked to put a cow in their house maybe they’re being mocked for a little cash? If that’s the case then who is doing the suing? And the person/people that are doing the suing, how much money are they expecting for this “selfless act” of defending the poor?

“We are suing because they were not truthful,” added Staicu, who said he saw parts of “Borat” and was disgusted.

When they told you that it was a documentary and then asked to put a cow in your house, would that be truthful in that situation? I’m just asking because truth seems to be relative the way that it’s being used here.

“They did not film reality,” he said. “We’ve really had enough of this.”

So for the documentary, kindergartens with automatic weapons in their hands – that would be reality?

Neither Cohen’s agent in London nor 20th Century Fox’s offices in Los Angeles immediately returned phone messages Tuesday from The Associated Press.

The mood in Glod, meanwhile, was tense and volatile, with crowds of angry, shouting villagers repeatedly gathering around reporters.

One man was seen slapping his sister, who had appeared in the film, and slamming the gate to his ramshackle home shut to keep her from being interviewed. At another point, a resident threatened news photographers with a stick, and another pelted their car with rocks.

People in the former Soviet republic of Kazakhstan, where the mustachioed Cohen’s character hails from as a TV journalist on an adventure across America, also have decried how they are depicted in the film, whose opening scenes were shot in Glod.

In my opinion, the movie was less about the depiction of people from Kazakhstan and more of a slam against people in the US with such little knowledge of the outside world and a low regard for other races, foreigners and their cultures. For example, the man at the rodeo that told Borat to shave his mustache because it made him look Muslim. The man said that if Borat did this he could maybe pass as an Italian. The way the man said this insinuates that Italians are also beneath this man but better than a Muslim, who by the way wear a full beard and mustache. This man doesn’t even know much about the group he hates.

Then there is the diner party, oh that was lovely. After a few oddities in the form of blunt speech Borat excuses himself and while he’s away the hostess utters something along the lines of, “There are some differences, but I don’t think it would take too long before he could become American”. As if being an American is an improvement to a person because all others are just uncivilized. She almost eats her words when Borat comes down the stairs and asks where to deposit the shit he was holding in a hanky, but she’s still tolerant until Borat introduces his black friend. I guess no matter where a person is born only Caucasians can become American in their eyes.

Two members of a fraternity at a South Carolina university who appear making drunken, insulting comments about women and minorities also are suing 20th Century Fox and three production companies, claiming the crew liquored them up in a bar before filming and told them the movie would not be shown in the United States.

And I suppose Borat must have forced the alcohol down their throat some how? He must have held them at gun point to get them that drunk. Odd, they didn’t seem drunk in the beginning scenes. And what is this about being told it wouldn’t be shown in the US? Does that make a difference? It’s only ok to show your true colors as long as your fellow countrymen don’t find out?

Not everyone in Glod is upset. Sorina Luca, 25, excitedly described how she was given $3.30 to bring a pig into her home and let the producers put a toy rifle into the hands of her 5-year-old daughter for one scene.
“I really liked it,” she said. “We are poor and miserable. Nothing ever happens here.”

But a 23-year-old woman who gave her name only as Irina said she felt bewildered and dismayed that Glod’s poverty was reduced to a parody.

The smash success of “Borat,” she said, just rubbed salt in Glod’s collective wounds.
The film remained the No. 1 weekend draw at U.S. movie theaters for a second week, grossing $28.3 million, according to the latest figures released Monday.

“They made us put a cow in our living room, and they made it defecate and urinate in the house. Everyone’s angry because they didn’t pay them the way they should have,” she said.

You had no choice in the matter? at all? It’s YOUR HOUSE! Not getting your fair cut I can understand, but don’t pretend you aren’t suing just because the movie brought in huge amounts of money – even though I’m guessing you agreed to an amount before the cow came in the house. If my assumptions aren’t the case then that is a different story.

“They’re making a lot of money – but they’ve made us a laughing stock.”

Not really. I obviously can’t speak for all of the people in movie audiences across the US, but I was laughing at what Borat was saying, not the conditions under which some people actually endure day to day.

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Northbound HOV only ramps are BULLSHIT!

www.wsdot.wa.gov retarded reasoning for having HOV only on ramps:

Why are two downtown Seattle express lane entrances reserved for carpools, vanpools and buses when the express lanes operate northbound? These express lane ramps include sharp curves and limited visibility. These ramps were designed to safely handle the lower traffic volumes of a ramp reserved for carpools, vanpools and buses.

Busses and vans do better with sharp curves and limited visibility? WHAT THE FUCK? Walking in front of a bus or van requires a greater distance than a car, so if this is meant to be safer for pedestrians maybe an overpass should be on the “to do” list. Oh and take the light away so that all those long buses and vans don’t back up. Oh wait – then you wouldn’t be able to see into the cars fast enough to pull them over. Silly me, what was I thinking.

Opening these two ramps to all traffic would change traffic patterns on downtown Seattle streets. The last time WSDOT and the City of Seattle reviewed the use of these ramps, just a few years ago, the impact on city streets wasn’t acceptable.

You mean you reviewed how much income the police bring in when handing out tickets at the end of the month and the loss of that money was unacceptable – at lease be honest. Traffic already goes right past the ramp to get to the regular northbound ramp.

When the I-5 express lanes operate northbound, there is a traffic chokepoint at Northgate, where the express lanes merge onto the I-5 mainline. At this location, a single general-purpose lane and a single high occupancy vehicle lane from the express lanes must merge into the rest of I-5 traffic. Opening the two additional downtown Seattle ramps to all traffic would significantly increase the volumes of traffic using the I-5 express lanes and would make the chokepoint at Northgate even more significant.

This would make some sense if the regular northbound lanes didn’t back up so much that the express lanes can’t merge into them at all. Actually, I was just on the regular northbound I-5 today and I flew by what looked like an Express lanes parking lot, so try again. – I mean it’s already shitty, so what’s the real reason? Could it be police revenue?

High occupancy vehicle ramps provide an incentive to encourage people to carpool, vanpool or ride the bus.

OH Bullshit! Just look at I-5 during rush hour sometime. AND take a look at the rest of the retarded carpool rules. How is a mother with a baby considered a valid carpool? The baby can’t drive!!! That’s not taking any other cars off the road!

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The Random Tax Squad hit me again

For the first time ever I was pulled over and given a ticket that wasn’t for speeding. There were three of them standing on the opposite side of an I-5 on ramp from their cars. Three of them! It takes three in one place to serve and protect us from people entering one of the two HOV only onramps. I didn’t even realize that there were any HOV only ramps. Sparky, the random tax collection servant was kind enough to inform me in a belittling manner that there was in fact a huge sign that said HOV only on it. He didn’t seem to care that the reason I didn’t catch it was because above the comparatively dull neon letters that said HOV only was a huge glowing neon sign that read, “Express Lanes” which as far as I know are still open to all. “Express lanes” was as far as I read because usually when I’m driving in rush hour traffic I don’t have time for fine print. One thing I’d like to know…Why on earth is a HOV only ramp even metered with lights? I know I know, it’s to make it easier for them to catch me and the six or so other people in the two minutes I was held – We were all in line waiting for the light to turn green.

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Weird Begins

I got this series of OkCupid messages from Third One His profile starts with, “Im unwillingly Wise, unintentionally handsome, unwittingly financially secure, well-Traveled, Curious, Educated, Fit by the pursuit of health not ego, and bored with the mundane and ignorant.” Wow! He sounds so uumm charming. I think he forgot to add how modest he is.

Mar 30 9:56pm
I am sure I sent you a message before, but in case I didnt mention it……….YOUR WEIRD

Apr 3 7:46pm
You type that as if weird is a bad thing, and yes I think I’ve seen your profile before.

Apr 5 6:29pm
No,

I am not a subjectivist, and being able to think freely is generally a positive thing…….but being strange meerly for it’s own sake is clearly a form of exibishionism. You seem like a smart person, but I know it is hard to get attention these days……so many diversions!

Ciao

Apr 5 7:38pm
I’m just being me. I’m not here for attention. I’m here because for my friends kept sending me links to take all these tests, so I started the profile to log all the results. Now we just use it from time to time to look at all the different profiles, and answer emails from people who think I’m weird but don’t state what part of my profile prompted that assessment.

Apr 8 7:20am
Which part!???! your pulling my leg, right?

I love that comment “just being me”, so this is not a matter of nuture, but is just Nature? the way you were born? Just be yourself….I always take this as lose your anxiety and fear and just be open. This is cool and the key to happiness…..but Just being me, sounds like stagnant water, which the rest of your profile belies.

I think you are trying to be considerably more than yourself……but people who are growing must strive to be just that.

Anyway….coming up for air, I am not sure I can remember what prompted me to say how wierd you were? I think maybe it’s your preoccupation with Violence? I would have to go back and look.

So you dont like attention? you live alone? avoid other people at all times? I guess it’s my lack of maturity, but I am here for attention….there I admited it, feels so good to let it out…..

thanx for the S & G…..

Apr 18 7:54pm
NO, I am not pulling your leg. I really do not know what part prompted your email. I am not a mind reader.

I did not write my profile for the purpose of shocking people. – That is what I meant by just being me. Nature, nurture either one could be the cause, but the things that I list are on my profile are truly my taste.

> I think you are trying to be considerably more than
> yourself

On the contrary, I am trying to be considerably less than myself. I hope to disappear completely someday.

>……but people who are growing must strive to be just
> that.

Your intellect is truly dizzying dear Dr. Phil.

> So you dont like attention? you live alone? avoid other people
> at all times? I guess it’s my lack of maturity, but I am here
> for attention….there I admited it, feels so good to let it
> out…..

uuuhh I never said I didn’t like attention. I did say that I did not create the profile for catching attention. No, I do not live alone, but I do actively avoid people from time to time.

Apr 20 9:22pm
thanx for the vote of confidence in my intelectual capacity!

But really, you dont think any part of your profile would be considered strange??

oh and thanx for your attention (no sarcasm, I really am thankful!!)…it’s os hard to be genuine sometimes you know? perhaps that’s from whenc ethe wierdness comes……whoooooo….

May 29 7:43am
I can promise you one thing!

you will dissapear one day…..I still think you are not quite ready for this event though…..

Ciao

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Federal Pound me in the Ass Prison

When I came home from work I made the mistake of checking the mail. In the mailbox was a very thick envelop from the Department of Treasury Internal Revenue Service in Fresno California. I love those people, but I think they may need glasses. I knew that anything this thick from the IRS was not a good thing. I got in the house and opened my little IRS care package to find that they’re under the impression that I didn’t pay enough on last year’s taxes. Apparently I owe them $1,376 plus $81.00 in interest, and if they continue to believe this I’m going to go to Federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison, because I simply didn’t make enough money that year to justify that amount.

I think the confusion lies in their belief that the mutual fund that I closed that year held untaxed money. I think they only bothered to look at the first page of the 1099 that the company I did business with sent. – That’s right, FIRST PAGE. If the IRS got the exact same information I did they should have THREE pages to sift through. This was a regular mutual fund in which I contributed my already taxed cash on a monthly basis. This was not an IRA or 401K. This was something I did on my own, and on the second page shows that my TOTAL ORDINARY DIVIDENDS was $55.37. That’s all. That’s it. Fifty five dollars and thirty seven cents is all I should be taxed on because all other money in that account had been taxed, so that is the amount I put on my tax form. Oh the crap I have to go through – It’s cause I’m a half-beaner isn’t it?

They just don’t like it when people that are painfully aware the government isn’t going to stop dipping into the social security funds meant for our retirement go ahead and take the initiative and start saving their own money. Cause once we retire we stop paying enough to be considered a contributing member of society. It’s just a drain to have old people around. Don’t believe me? Take a good look that that wonderful new healthcare that’s been devised. Tell me with a straight face that we care.

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McDonalds Fries – Contains Everything but Potato

McDonald’s sued for having milk, wheat in fries-WSJ

Sunday February 19, 5:49 PM EST

NEW YORK (Reuters) – McDonald’s Corp. (MCD) faces at least three lawsuits claiming the fast-food giant misled the public after it acknowledged earlier this week its French fries contain milk and wheat ingredients, the Wall Street Journal Online reported on Sunday.

The suits were filed by people with celiac disease, who have an intolerance to a protein found in wheat, the Journal said.

McDonald’s, based in Oak Brook, Illinois, had previously described the flavoring as safe for people with food allergies and other dietary sensitivities, the Journal said.

What what what? McDonalds fries aren’t made with real Idaho potatoes? Ya know McDonalds has been in business for many years and I don’t think the ingredient lists have changed that much over time…it’s still shit and if you’re allergic to crap I suggest you not eat out at all. If you have some rare allergic reaction to every goddamn thing disease it’s up to you to find out what’s in that pre-made food, and don’t ask those poor minimum wage kids behind the counter – they don’t fucking know. I don’t know where anyone would get a full ingredient list for fast food, but if you have the kind of time to do that sort of research you have the time to make your own damn sandwich. Don’t get me started on those people that have sued because McD’s made them fat. Fuckin’ idiots!

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That Sucks!

In high school I had a teacher that hated it when we said, “that sucks!” She would always ask us to rephrase what we said even if it was something that was uttered in our own conversations outside of class and not just as a response to her homework assignments, so I started a trend of saying, “That vacuums!” I think she gave up her quest to reform our language shortly after.

Comment from a friend:

I pity anyone who tries to reform you. :D

Hehe yeah that statement reminds me of this guy I dated for about three weeks. He was 30 at the time, had a bachelor’s degree in English and worked in a warehouse processing shipping orders. On our third date we went out to a comedy show. The comedians weren’t very good, but were of course as colorful as most, and so is my language outside of work (I’m sure you’ve noticed). He enjoyed the show and afterwords we were talking about comedians. I had brought a couple tapes one of Dennis Leary and one of Jeff Foxworthy. After we listened to both he asked which one I liked best. I told him that between those two choices I like Dennis as I tend to go for raw adult humor and comedians that make you really think about the things most people just take at face value over daily life observations and “family friendly”. I didn’t explain my reasoning to him but I gave my preference, and he told me that he liked Jeff better – cause he doesn’t curse. This was his passive-aggressive way of telling me that my language was too colorful for him. I rolled my eyes at his response and then he proceeded to tell me that people who curse sound less intelligent and that there are better ways to express a point or something along those lines. I thanked him for the show and dinner and told him that we just didn’t seem to click and I didn’t want to see him anymore. He called me a b**** and I told him he was right…that does make you sound like an f***ing idiot! And I left. He called me a month or so later, and without even apologizing for being a hypocrite, he wanted to see if I was available and if I wanted to go out again. You have got to be kidding me! The sick thing is I think that was his way of forgiving me for my faults…as if I cared to be with someone that would look down on me because I see nothing wrong with using all of the English words and not just the ones deemed socially acceptable. It was like I should feel privileged that he would give me a second chance or something.

Why do English majors turn their noses up to the most versatile form of English? They act like it’s a lower form has no meaningful place in society yet they exist in every language and when disallowed they’re merely replaced with words like…“Oh shoot”, “Darn it all”, “Gosh darn it”, “Fudge”, Smeg and Farfignuten. It’s an attempt to convey the SAME THING!

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God is on our side!

Another addition to the list of email chain letters I receive.

Two things Navy SEALS are always taught:

1. Keep your priorities in order.
2. Know when to act without hesitation.

A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU, was teaching his class.
He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated for once and for all he was going to prove there was no God.

That’s stupid. If someone says, “This is what I believe.” As irrational as it may seem to the recipient of that statement it means no amount of logic will sway them. There is no logic in faith, so why would any reasonable person take the time and effort to convince a group. It makes no sense.

Addressing the ceiling he shouted: “GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!!”

And if it doesn’t happen all the god believer would have to say is that their god works in mysterious ways or some other bullshit argument, much like I would if anyone tried to tell me that I don’t have an invisible pink unicorn that lives in my pocket.

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten
minutes went by. “I’m waiting God. If you’re real, knock me off this platform!!!!”

Again after 5 minutes, the professor taunted God, saying, “Here I am, God!!! I’m still waiting!!!”

His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a SEAL, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanis! tan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor.
The SEAL hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform.

The Professor was out cold!! The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The SEAL nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent…..waiting.

Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the SEAL in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked:

“What the hell is the matter with you?! Why did you do that?”

The SEAL replied:

“God was really busy watching over America’s soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an asshole!!! So He told me to take care of it.”

Yes, the preaching about the lack of god to his captive class is just as asshole-like as the door to door proselytizing of that some sects of Christianity practice, but if Americans want to protect our freedom of speech I think joining the ACLU would better accomplish the goal than paving the roads for Haliburton.

And Ah yes the loving god that picks sides. The other side has a god too. They also have a firm belief that their god is on their side. Do you think ‘god’ was on the American side during Vietnam? If he was he must have been out playing golf. Maybe ‘god’ is a practical joker and was on the side of the evil communist heathens.

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