Category Archives: Soapbox

Emails, life events, and things in the news that catch my attention and annoy me enough to rant about or interest me enough to comment on yell and scream about. Usually things regarding religious and political groups that insist on regulating the lives and lifestyles others with stupid laws and random taxation.

They Say We Live in the Land of the Free…

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This afternoon I checked my Google+ stream and found an article with an intriguing title, “40 Seattle cops arrest woman for sitting down, opening umbrella”. I don’t watch the news on TV so I don’t really know how the old main stream media has been covering #OccupySeattle but I’ve been following #OccupyWallStreet on Google+ since September 29th when I saw a friend living in Ireland post a link to, “A Massive Union Just Voted To Side With The Wall Street Protesters”. Prior to that, I don’t think I had even heard there was a protest at all. You would think that the “liberal media” would have been all over this, but they weren’t. Not at all.

I watched the mainstream news today. I waited for the latest development on this huge protest that is now also taking place in Europe. Pretty much crickets. Seriously. Ok they do cover the protest, but it’s so different from all the photos I’ve seen from local photographers on Google+ following the footsteps of Depression-era photographer Dorothea Lange, and they didn’t mention the woman who was arrested for sitting with an open umbrella.

Our truly liberal local news, The Stranger, was apparently the first to announce that the Mayor had declared umbrellas with a person sitting under it was declared a structure, and structures are not allowed in the park. I’ve been to Westlake Park many times. I know I’ve seen people sitting with an open umbrella there before. It’s Seattle for christsake! Next Mayor McGinn will attack the official Seattle dress code and wearers of flannel shirts will be banned from the city. Hopefully they’ll still be welcomed in our sister sate, Oregon.

Here is the video of the arrest: Deborah gets arrested for sitting while holding an open umbrella

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The Wimpy Generation

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Lenore at Free Range Kids posted a story in February of this year about a mom who let her fourteen-year-old son watch his three-year-old brother for thirty minutes and was ticketed.

I remember babysitting my younger cousin when I was twelve. She was three. She is still alive and kickin’. I’m just sayin’.

You know how when we were young our parents and grandparents would tell us all the crap they were doing by the time they were our age, whatever that age was at the time, and they made us out to be wimpy little complainers…

I’m wondering how wimpy is this next generation going to be and will it ever go back a few notches? Imagine the reverse of the stories we used to hear from our grandparents. Instead of bragging about everything they did and how hard it was for them growing up, they say, “Shit, we used to just sit on our asses and play videos games all day. We were completely useless. We didn’t even have chores. We were told it was too dangerous to come out of the bubble wrap room.” It seems weird and maybe even a little unnatural doesn’t it?

Me as a toddler

This is a picture of me as a toddler. This was back before toys were invented, so I played with dirt and styrofoam plates.

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55 Flash non-Fiction Friday: Food Safety

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It was hard not to notice the jars and canisters filled with expired food. Reading the dates on some wasn’t necessary. Those labels haven’t been used in years.

1960 folgers coffee cans

“With all the food I’m surprised that there aren’t more bugs here.”

“The bugs ate the food and died.”

“Where are the bug carcasses?”

“See the dust?”

55 Flash Fiction Friday

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The Dumbing Down of Food

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I know there are more mainstream ideas for why the economy has collapsed such as the systematic deregulation of business which I believe started with the Reagan administration and was copied here and there in little bits and pieces by every administration that follow including democratic ones, but I have more to add to that. With the deregulation of business, I find there to be more regulation in daily life for the average citizen, and that I believe is the combination that has crashed the system.

There have been books and magazines published with helpful hints in household management for homemakers for quite some time, and those are great. The old ones are a rather scary glimpse into the history of the woman’s roll in life, but all that I’ve seen assume a certain amount of intelligence on the receiving end. That’s the part that seems to be missing in modern helpful hints and it’s making my ass twitch. I could give the overused example of warnings on the use of hairdryers in the shower, but I have a more subtle example.

On my trip to Alaska this summer I was introduced to horseradish mustard and the wonderfulness it adds to a sandwich. I also fell in love with the lunch meat we purchased there and so when I got home I began buying the same Private Selection Home Style Slow Roasted – Roast Beef from Fred Meyer. One horrifying day I opened the clear plastic container and saw that the label had print on the other side which was only visible while the package is open. I took off the label and read it…

Sandwich Ingredients:
Makes 1 sandwich
1 each Club or Kaiser roll (Hard roll)
5 to 6 slices Private Selection Roast Beef
2 slices Private Selection cheddar
1 T Balsamic Vinegar
1 Lettuce leaf
2 slices Tomato

Method:
1. Split the roll in half lengthwise. Drizzle the vinegar on both sides of the roll.
2. Lay the roast beef and cheese on the one side of the roll.
3. Add tomato and lettuce and top with the other side of the roll.

Sandwich stupidity

1. What United States American doesn’t know how to assemble a sandwich?
2. If someone doesn’t know what to do with thinly sliced roast beef what the fuck are they doing purchasing it?
3. Would anyone really buy a packaged food hoping that there are instructions for use in the inside?

If we play along and believe that food needs to be dumbed down for us all then I need to point out there was a distinct lack of pictures, and they did not specify that the vinegar needs to be drizzled on the sliced side of each piece of bread. It was also not stated that the 5 to 6 slices Private Selection Roast Beef, 2 slices Private Selection cheddar, 1 Lettuce leaf, and 2 slices Tomato go between the two sliced sides of the bread. Lastly, they have it all wrong because there is no mention of horse radish mustard. Seriously, that makes the sandwich.

I had a friend from China who told me a story about her first potluck where some food assembly was required. She said she had never had a sandwich before and thought there was a specific way to assemble this meal so she was looking to her friends for help and instruction. Her story I completely understand, and now that she’s been in the US for a while she sees the humor in thinking that there was one way to assemble a sandwich. These instructions for a roast beef sandwich make me sad.

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The Banning of Birthday Fun

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My daughter had her fourth birthday a couple weeks ago and there were of course balloons, as there were for her third and second birthdays. We had them filled with helium, and there are still some of those balloons lingering in the house in various states of deflation.

Last week my husband took one and inhaled the helium to show her how it makes his voice sound funny, but the one he picked must not have had enough of the gas left in it. It changed his voice, but not by much. Days later Sophia poked a hole in one of the balloons. I don’t know if she was trying to suck the air out or not, but later I saw her try to blow it back up again. She spent all day with that deflated balloon and no harm came to her or her ten month old brother who also got a hold of it at some point.

Watching her try so hard to blow it up it made me feel bad that I’ve never bought her a bag of balloons to just play with, and now seeing that Europe has put a ban on balloons for kids under eight I think it’s imperative that I buy some for her. Right now she doesn’t know how to shape her mouth so that she can blow. She had a hard time blowing out her candles. She tends to make a straight horizontal line with her mouth and the air she blows either comes out the sides or under her top teeth (blowing downward). Maybe a bag of balloons will help. I just need to let her know that her baby brother should not play with the deflated balloons, because he is a baby after all.

Blowing out the candle

This is a picture from Sophia's third birthday (hence the three). In this photo she is actually blowing on the candle, but clearly not forming her mouth correctly to do so.

I learned of the news link from Lenore of “Free Range Kids”.

*** Update 10/13/2011 ***
Is the EU going to ban children from blowing up balloons?

Although the claims made by the Telegraph doesn’t misrepresent the content of the EU safety directive, it does appear to exaggerate its case. The EU cannot in fact ‘ban’ the products mentioned, but merely require that warnings are carried on the packaging. Moreover, these are not ‘new’ requirements as the paper implies, and in fact have been in effect for over two decades.

Similar rules also exist in the US.

On Fisher-Price.com there is an article that answers the question, “Are Balloons Dangerous?” Their answer is yes, however in their answer they also have this…

According to the National SAFE KIDS Campaign, each year over 100,000 children under age 4 are treated in hospital emergency rooms for toy-related injuries, and 17 children die. Approximately one-third of the deaths result from choking; and one-third of the choking deaths result from latex balloons.

Now, lets do some math. Ignore the 100,000 injuries because that is from all toys. Let’s focus on the deaths, 17. 1/3 of the 17 deaths are from choking. 1/3 of the 1/3 of 17 deaths are from choking on latex balloons. 17 divided by 3 is 5.6, that’s the number of choking deaths. 5.6 divided by 3 is 1.8. 1.8 is the number of kids out of 17 toy-related deaths in a year. Two kids. Total. In the entire United States. Right now in 2011 there are about twenty five and a half million children ages five and under.

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55 Flash non-Fiction Friday: Reports of my Death are Greatly Exaggerated

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Unfortunately, that day has come. Good-bye Steve Jobs. I never owned any Apple products, but I admire the innovation Mr. Jobs gave the computer world.

Steve Jobs

His passing makes me wonder what will be said of Bill Gates when his time comes.

Abort, Retry, Fail?_

Suddenly the blue screen of death would have more profound meaning.

55 Flash Fiction Friday

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55 Flash non-Fiction Friday: Sad Attitude

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I understand a little competitiveness or the occasional feeling of jealousy, but for her there is never a feeling of genuine happiness for the accomplishment of another person. How can anyone become close with an attitude like that? Petty competition and jealousy consumes her. It makes me sad. Why bother trying to make it work?

mushrooms growing from dog shit

Picture taken 11/14/2009. This picture has very little if anything to do with the 55. It's just a picture I took of mushrooms thriving off of dog poop.

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Entitled Costco Lady

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Today, for those people who have a life beyond caring for their own children, was the first day this month’s Costco coupons can be used. The first day and last day of the coupons are always crazy days, and some locations are just generally worse than others. I had to go to a different Costco from my usual today. I didn’t like having to go to a different one and entitled lady didn’t help.

I drove up the parking isle in search of a spot. I was heading in the direction of the entrance and my passenger pointed out a spot up front in the isle to my left. I turned and there was a van stopped in what would be my lane if it were a road, so after the oncoming car passed I went around the van. I took a left to enter the isle and then began to turn right to enter the newly vacated first parking spot.

A woman ran up past the right side of the car and jumped into the spot. She waved her arms smiling and indicated that she wanted the spot into which I had already began to turn. I shook my head and kept moving forward. Now upset, she shouted that she needed the spot for her disabled father right behind me. I glared with incredulous anger. Are you fucking kidding me? If you need a special spot, park in the ones labeled as such. It’s called handicapped parking. They’re all over the place and they’re usually empty.

I kept moving forward. I’m in a car. She relented and moved aside, but stood by my door. My passenger hung her handicap tag on the mirror of my car. She didn’t need to as I was in regular parking, but she thought it would help make the self-important woman leave. I got out of the car ready to be yelled at by the crazy lady. “I need this spot for my disabled father!” The woman yelled at me as I watched a car three stalls down back out. Bitch, you’re at warehouse store but your father can’t walk just three more car stalls?

I looked her straight in the eye and snapped back with clenched fists and furled eyebrows, “It’s first-come first-serve lady!” She backed away still angry and grumbled something about, “It’s people like you…this society…blah blah.”

I wish I had the presence of mind to answer back, “Yes it is, but it’s still my parking spot.” I went around the car to retrieve my infant son and saw that he was sleeping. My passenger didn’t want to go near the psycho lady who was with her father and waiting at the Costco entrance. I had to go to the bathroom so I left my friend and child at the car. I passed the lady on the way in and again on the way back out.

My friend was hungry so the three of us went to the Costco food line and saw that Miss Spit-fire was trying to wrangle up a motorized Costco cart for her disabled father. Her father, who not only walked up to the entrance from his further-than-mine parking spot but had been standing at the entrance since I passed him on my way to the bathroom.

We got our food and they got their cart and finally went in. About the same time we finished our food the entitled lady and her father both walked out of the Costco and to their vehicle. He walked. On his own. My friend and speculated that this lady doesn’t visit her father very often, feels guilty about it, and is over compensating. Sanctimonious bitch.

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55 Flash non-Fiction Friday: Palin 2012

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If Sarah Palin becomes President (stop twitching, just bear with me here), I wonder how many leaders would repeatedly fire translators before realizing…that’s really what comes out of her mouth. Better yet, how many will throw their hands up, shake their heads, and say, “I’m not even going to bother. It’s not worth the effort.”

Sarah word salad Palin

55 Flash Fiction Friday

Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man.

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