Soapbox Archive

It leaves no marks so no one sees the abuse. It’s all in her head and no one can know. She was happy to know secrets from an adult. It made her feel important to be worthy of such information. Soon it became too much and tore her up inside as the manipulation became apparent.

Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55’s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.

“You don’t have to have sex with every man you meet.” I didn’t bother explaining that spending the night doesn’t necessarily equate to sex. “Why not?” I asked, “I enjoy it.” The notion shocked her which in turn shocked me. There are women that only have sex out of marital obligation? How sad is that?

Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55’s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.

A couple days ago I was sorting through all of my links and some blog roll-y stuff and I came across a crib recall post from Play at Home Mom. I probably wouldn’t have paid any attention to that particular post it if she hadn’t added a picture of a crib that looks EXACTLY like Sophia’s.

We bought Sophia’s crib used off of a Craigslist ad. That alone sets many people off because we’re told not to trust used baby items, “You never know if they’ve already been recalled or if they’re missing parts”. I still say ‘used’ is a great way to go just be smart about it. Usually it’s obvious if there are missing parts, so that part is simple. Don’t buy that one. Make sure all of the manufacturer’s stickers/labels and “do not remove” tags are still in place, and stick with newer looking models. Besides, the crib Sophia is using has been on the market since 2002 and it was just recalled in June of 2008. How pray tell does that make a NEW crib a safer bet? Anyway, Sophia will be getting a new crib at a used price.

If you have one of these cribs:

Crib Styles:
- Berkley
- Hilton
- Positano
- Spindle
- Windsor

Only the Following Crib Model Numbers are Included:
BC-23, BC-36B, BC-36G, BC-36P, BC-007, BC-010, BC-010C, BC-010HP, BC-010W, BC-017, BC-107C, BC-107CR, BC-110C, BC-110HP BC-110W, DA617BC, DA620BC, DV730N, DV730W, DA770BC, DV830-N, DV830-W, 0113B00, 0113K00, 0303C00, 0303G00, 0303B00, 0309K00

Then you can go to the Jardine Crib Recall site for a voucher on a new crib (which will probably be recalled six years from now *eye roll*).

Detailed instructions for what you’ll need to do to receive a voucher for a new crib can be found here. Make note of step #2 and #3…

2. Remove mattress support hardware and identification label using the enclosed instructions and Allen key that is provided.

3. Place the bolts, mattress support plates, identification label and signed acknowledgment form in the prepaid shipping envelope provided.

If you’re going to buy a use crib, MAKE SURE the label on the base that holds the mattress in place is still there. If it’s missing, that’s a BAD SIGN.

Finally someone brave enough to point out that Christians can’t agree amongst themselves about various points of their religion.

Dobson accuses Obama of ‘distorting’ Bible
By ERIC GORSKI, AP Religion Writer

“Even if we did have only Christians in our midst, if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in the schools?” Obama said. “Would we go with James Dobson’s or Al Sharpton’s?” referring to the civil rights leader.

I think I’ve heard Obama’s original speech that this was pulled from, and I don’t think that he cited examples of Christians that wanted other forms of Christianity removed from schools because their children were being pressured to convert. If he didn’t, I really think he should have. Because many scream out “oh! oh! evil atheist!” when separation of church and state comes up, I think it’s important to understand that keeping religion out of public school is not just a benefit to non-religious people. In a rant I wrote about a chain letter, I cited two examples of Christians who wanted other Christians to back the hell off.

Dobson took aim at examples Obama cited in asking which Biblical passages should guide public policy — chapters like Leviticus, which Obama said suggests slavery is OK and eating shellfish is an abomination, or Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, “a passage that is so radical that it’s doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application.”

Woo!

“Folks haven’t been reading their Bibles,” Obama said.

Woo Woo! You tell ‘em Obama!

Dobson and Minnery accused Obama of wrongly equating Old Testament texts and dietary codes that no longer apply to Jesus’ teachings in the New Testament.

What, you’re throwing out the old Testament? Does that mean the Ten Commandments are no longer followed either? Ok, fine. Let’s stick with the New Testament.

1 Timothy 2:9 and 1 Peter 3:3 both say women may not braid their hair, wear gold, pearls, or expensive clothing.

1 Timothy 4:1-3 Says vegetarians are heeding the devil by not eating meat.

Luke 14:26 - If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

Matthew 15:4 - God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.

“I think he’s deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own worldview, his own confused theology,” Dobson said.

If there was just one traditional understanding of the Bible there wouldn’t be so many denominations within Christianity.

“… He is dragging biblical understanding through the gutter.”

It could use a good analytical review.

Dobson reserved some of his harshest criticism for Obama’s argument that the religiously motivated must frame debates over issues like abortion not just in their own religion’s terms but in arguments accessible to all people.

He said Obama, who supports abortion rights, is trying to govern by the “lowest common denominator of morality,” labeling it “a fruitcake interpretation of the Constitution.”

No, dumbshit. He’s saying that in order for something to be Constitutional, a law or public act must have a secular purpose, have a primary effect that neither advances nor inhibits religion, and not result in excessive governmental entanglement with religion. It’s called the Lemon test. And if fruitcakes can interpret the Constitution then I need to move them WAY up on the evolutionary chart from your knuckle-dragging self.

“Am I required in a democracy to conform my efforts in the political arena to his bloody notion of what is right with regard to the lives of tiny babies?” Dobson said. “What he’s trying to say here is unless everybody agrees, we have no right to fight for what we believe.”

That’s right, appeal to the emotion. Oh, but I must protect the tiny babies. It’s my job to protect the unborn. No, it’s a politician’s job to serve the living people. People should be able to do as they wish with their own body. If you don’t believe in abortion - don’t have one!

He’s not really my uncle, but I wish he had been a relative of mine. I seriously almost cried this morning while I was in line for my daily mocha fix. I heard the news before I left home, but I guess I was just stunned. It didn’t really sink in until I sat in line waiting for my not-really-coffee even though I had made the joke to Kurt that I should call in sick.

I’m not one for collecting things. I’m well aware that any stuff I choose to collect most people would view as shit. That’s ok. At least they wouldn’t steel it. I do wish I had some shit signed by Mr. George Carlin though. Not too much shit mind you, I don’t want to have to buy a new house for my stuff. I think it would be really cool to have something tangible to remember him by. Not that it matters, but I’ll really miss him. Gee, he was just here a minute ago.

GEORGE CARLIN
His view of The 10 Commandments from the HBO special “Complaints and Grievances”

Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?

You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here’s what happened:

About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.

Well let me ask you this- when they were making this shit up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I’ll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it’s a decade, it’s a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bullshit list. It’s a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that’s a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy.

Let’s start with the first three:

I AM THE LORD THY GOD
THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME

THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN

THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH

Right off the bat the first three are pure bullshit. Sabbath day? Lord’s name? strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we’re down to 7. Next:

HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn’t be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent’s performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don’t, period. You’re down to six.

Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we’re going to jump around the list a little bit.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS

Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior- dishonesty. So you don’t really need two you combine them and call the commandment “thou shalt not be dishonest”. And suddenly you’re down to 5.

And as long as we’re combining I have two others that belong together:

THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR’S WIFE

Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is marital infidelity. The difference is- coveting takes place in the mind. But I don’t think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else’s wife because what is a guy gonna think about when he’s waxing his carrot? But, marital fidelity is a good idea so we’re gonna keep this one and call it “thou shalt not be unfaithful”. And suddenly we’re down to four.

But when you think about it, honesty and fidelity are really part of the same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole thing “thou shalt always be honest and faithful” and we’re down to 3.

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR”S GOODS

This one is just plain fuckin’ stupid. Coveting your neighbor’s goods is what keeps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays “o come o ye faithful”, and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs, so leave it alone. You throw out coveting and you’re down to 2 now- the big honesty and fidelity commandment and the one we haven’t talked about yet:

THOU SHALT NOT KILL

Murder. But when you think about it, religion has never really had a big problem with murder. More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, Kashmir, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not kill. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable. It depends on who’s doin the killin’ and who’s gettin’ killed. So, with all of this in mind, I give you my revised list of the two commandments:

Thou shalt always be honest and faithful
to the provider of thy nookie.

&

Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course
they pray to a different invisible man than you.

Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his fuckin’ pocket. I wouldn’t mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment:

Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

My father doesn’t say a lot, but when he does, I listen. As a teenager, it may not have seemed like it, but I did pay attention. There are two occasions permanently ingrained in my mind where seemingly unexpectedly my dad calmly gave his words of wisdom. I’m not being sarcastic – he does give his words of wisdom calmly, and he only ever gives it once.

When I was going from elementary school to junior high – Major side note – Back in my day we didn’t have stupid graduations after every blasted year/quarter/test. We just got our grades and moved on. Our only f$#%@ graduation was the one at the end of TWELVE YEARS of HELL and that’s the way we liked it! *mumble* Fricken’ pansies with their stupid yearly graduations. And our teachers weren’t afraid of hurting our feelings or stressing us out by using a red pen to give us a big fat “F” if we didn’t study. “F” is for failure and those that deserved it go it. If you can’t learn to accept a little failure once in a while your going to have a really really hard time at life in general. On the up side therapists will love you.

Not every child is a genius and not every child will pass the mustard. If you feel that your contribution to society deserves better than a RED “F” then maybe you should spend some time with the little prodigy and help them with their homework. I don’t like the “no child left behind” crap. Lowering the bar with this “no child left behind” BULLSHIT makes the smart kids BORED AS HELL!!! *stomping away from the soapbox with furled eyebrows*

Anyway, going from elementary school to junior high my dad told me, “If someone hurts you it’s ok to fight back.” I knew exactly what he was talking about, and it’s a very good thing he told me it was ok too. I was a VERY shy kid. I finally opened up my freshman year of high school, but I had been so painfully shy previously that in my yearbook someone wrote that she thought I was literally retarded. I simply did not speak. It’s good that my dad gave me the ok because unfortunately it’s not a matter of “if” for many girls, but “when” they will need to have the confidence to stand up for themselves.

Three days after graduating high school, I was on my way to Michigan to live with some friends, one of which paid for my flight. Before I left my dad said, “Don’t feel like you’re obligated to do anything.” His words made me always make sure I only did things because I wanted. After all a gift isn’t a gift if something is expected in return. That makes it a bribe.

Kurt is a lot like my dad – except the part about being a man of few words. I’ve shown the word “concise” in the dictionary to Kurt. He still doesn’t get it. In the thesauruses, his picture shows up in the list of antonyms. But when the buzzing of his voice switches to a serious tone, I know Sophia will pay attention. It may seem like she only ever wants me right now, but she loves you. You make her laugh. You’ll be a great dad Kurtie. Just don’t try to limit her time on the phone when she’s a teenager.

My dad to me: You can only be on the phone for ten minutes
Me to my friend on the phone: Ok, I’ll call you back.
(I hang up and dial the phone to my friend immediately)
My dad to me: You can’t call them back!
The next time I’m on the phone to my friend: Ok, it’s been ten minutes – YOU call me back.
My dad: You have to have ten minutes between each call!
Me: damn it!

Someone in the IRC room I hang out in posted a link to a huge picture of the directer of homeland security that took FOREVER to display even though I have “high speed” internet. I clicked on it because everyone was talking about how creepy he looks and I’m a sucker for, well, just about anything. My reaction was, “OHMYGOD it’s Lurch!” Then someone else said, “He’s creepy and he’s Kookie, mysterious and spookie, He’s altogether ookie…The directer of homeland security *snap snap*” I just had to blog about it and here we are. No better off really. But seriously, doesn’t Michael Chertoff look like good ‘ol Lurch (Ted Cassidy) from Addams Family?

This rant is brought to you by this post on Seattle Mom Blogs. I agree with the post itself, but some of the comments make my ass twitch, so for anyone anti GTA4…

I love when people get all upset about certain games/books/movies and act like society has just taken another step into depravity. I read books about serial killers. I have a collection of such books that take up almost a whole bookcase. I don’t know what draws me to the theme, but it’s what I read. As a matter a fact I read my first one at about age 13. My favorite serial killer books are ones that about killers from around the 1800’s long before the term “serial killer” was coined. They used to blame dime novels for youth committing despicable acts in the past. Yet I know of a ten year-old serial killer from that time (Jesse Pomeroy) that never read one (came up in court testimony). Yes, that’s right - child serial killers existed LONG before violent video games.

Violence in humans is not new. Violence is a part of human nature (don’t shake your head, it is, just look at our history). Some of us are more violent than others. Repress it, ignore it, or try to hide it – it ain’t going away. Reading books, watching movies, and playing violent video games – for some they are outlets for stress, entertainment, or a socially acceptable intake/outlet for our violent nature. I’d personally rather do any of the three than go to a public hanging or war. So untwist the puritan panties and just accept Grand Theft Auto IV has been released for public consumption.

Don’t try to tell me that I’m allowing my kid to see or know too much too soon for conservative sensibilities. I’ll raise mine and you raise yours. The neighbor or neighbor’s children playing a video game isn’t going to affect other lives anymore than gays being allowed to marry will affect heterosexual marriages. It’s not going to cause normal people to behave in antisocial ways. Nor does it make violent crimes seem acceptable. Even if books and movies are based on real life there is a huge difference between those and committing/experiencing real life violent crimes (Mostly the smells - If we had scratch and sniff TV I’d be right there with you. Some smells are just too foul). I don’t care how true to life Hollywood makes their movies or how much worse video games seem with their interactive format, the only people that try what they see in real life are ether not mature enough to view these things without supervision (hence ratings for the parental heads up) or they’re simply touched in the head and it wouldn’t have taken much for them to make the antisocial leap. Either way despite the frequency in which we hear about crimes on the news it’s not on the rise.

We were a much more violent society in the past than we are now the difference is that we have 24hr coverage of every little thing that happens, which makes it seem so much more prolific. Really if you want to assign some blame for the perpetuating of violent crime – I would blame the overcrowding of jails with petty drug offenses and releasing actual violent criminals back into society. Rapists and murderers should NEVER be released back into society, and yes, I’m one of those whack-jobs that thinks drugs should be legalized (not just marijuana).

In the spirit of Earth Day many newspapers gave earth friendly tips and wrote earth friendly articles on being friendly to the earth. The paper I read most often was no exception. If there’s a bandwagon all media covers the same crap, but because they’re all owned by corporations that are owned by corporations funded by ads of corporations they can’t won’t actually give anyone useful information. It’s like each day they give you a fresh new list of things to be concerned about and then say, “Do your own damned research”. I’m not asking that they bash on certain products - just hand us a freakin’ bone and let us know about the good products damn it!

The Everett Herald wrote an article in which the title questions the “greenness” of our household products. The title actually ends in a question mark, which is a very popular trend these days. I automatically flag it as a sign of poor journalism. Not that I’m any kind of journalist, but I read articles often and I know shit when I see it. Ending a title in a question mark is a cheap way of appearing to have a new critical view of the topic at hand. I can’t emphasize enough how cheap it is. It’s like seeking quality at Wal Mart.

In this article the writer does point out that,

Earlier this year, prominent environmental group the Sierra Club announced that, starting in April, it would lend its name and label to Clorox’s Green Works products line. The environmental group’s endorsement did not come without controversy. The Sierra Club will receive an undisclosed fee, which is based partly on product sales, for its endorsement.

What what what? Clorox isn’t environmentally friendly? - OHMYGOD you’re kidding! I thought it was like lemon juice. I always drink the stuff. Oh give me a break. Who really believed that Clorox Green Works was really “green” just cause it’s in the name?

Clorox, which says its green products work as well as its traditional cleaning goods, markets its new line as 99 percent natural.

Yeah, arsenic is natural too! I’m just sayin’.

Last November, TerraChoice, an environmental marketing group, released findings on “greenwashing” — the practice of misleading consumers about the environmental benefits of a product or service. The group reviewed 1,018 products and found all but one made false or misleading green claims.

Great, which ones are the friendliest? - Nobody says. Which one is the honest one? Give me the damn answer already! I went to the TerraChoice website and didn’t see these “released findings”. I went to their blog which conveniently starts last December not November, so no info there. The article in the Herald has a picture of four products, Mrs. Meyers Clean Day lavender scent surface scrub, Seventh Generation natural citrus scent kitchen cleaner, Country Save biodegradable all-purpose cleaner and Clorox Green Works natural toilet bowl cleaner. We can cross out the Clorox - is one of the other three the honest one? Are any of them?

TerraChoice works for EcoLogo, a government eco-labeling program based in Canada.

I went to the EcoLogo website and I’ve NEVER heard of the cleaning products they list, and I’m familiar with some relatively obscure cleaning products. Maybe they’re only available in Canada.

One of the more recent blog entries on the TerraChoice website mentions the launch of greenyour.com, which looks like a good site. It doesn’t just promote all sorts of products but also gives info on making your own household cleaners - just for example. Unfortunately, they don’t let you know which green product was the most honest and they list BioKleen as a good product. BioKleen uses GSE which makes my ass twitch.

“You survived it didn’t you?” They say, “So it couldn’t be that bad.”
Maybe the bad times are dwelt on too much. However, unless we’re speaking of car accidents mere survival seems like such a low bar to set. Sure, there were good times. I do remember them, but the bad was much more far-reaching.

Flash Fiction Friday is brought to you by susiestheboss and is also hosted by g-man. Also, a blog was recently established, dedicated to hosting only Flash Fiction Friday 55’s.