I thought the approach and class was weird, but I was open to trying just about anything. We were the only family in the class that day because the class was set at a time in which most kids under three are napping. Considering how many people I know with varying degrees of child feeding difficulty it seems to me that they would try to set the time for the class at a typical snack or lunch time for the age group they serve, but that’s just me.

Anyway, the class was great. The teacher asked me a few questions about Sophia’s eating habits. “What things does Sophia not like?” was one of the first questions. My answer was that it would be so much easier to list the handful of things that she will eat. Her eyes widen, “Oh, I see.” She hands me a packet to fill out at home on “sensory sensitivity”.

I was also given a printout of “Picky Eater Tidbits” from chapter three of “Tools for Tots: Sensory Strategies for Toddlers and Preschoolers”, and “Cautious Tots” from chapter two of the same book. I was also given handouts about sensory processing disorder (SPD) along with copies of pages 99 through 129 from the book, “The Out-Of-Sync Child”.

I read through it all. To me it didn’t seem to fit Sophia at all, but there was a section in the last bit of reading material that sounded very much like me. They were things that wouldn’t be testable on a child Sophia’s age, especially one that doesn’t talk, but it could be something to look for later.

I started highlighting a few things that sounded familiar to me while at the same time thinking, “but lots of people get motion sick and have or have a hard time focusing on someone talking in the middle of a crowded restaurant”. I highlighted them even though I thought whatever I experience is probably a long the same realm as the average person.

Movement intolerance:

• Be very uncomfortable in elevators and on escalators, perhaps experiencing car or motion sickness

Poor auditory-language processing

• Be unable to pay attention to one voice or sound without being distracted by other sounds.
• Be distressed by noises that are loud, sudden, metallic, or high-pitched, or by sounds that don’t bother others.

Then I came to the part about visual-spatial processing. I saw things on that list which affect me and I know most people just don’t understand some of these. I do.

• Complain of seeing double
• Have difficulty shifting her gaze from one object to another, as when looking from the blackboard to her own paper.
• Have difficulty tracking or following a moving object, such as a Ping-Pong ball, or following along a line of printed words.
• Fail to comprehend what she is reading or quickly lose interest.
• Omit words or numbers and lose her place while reading and writing.
• Orient drawings poorly on the page, or write uphill or downhill.
• Confuse right and left, have a poor sense of direction, and frequently head in the wrong way.
• Fail to visualize what she reads. It may be hard to call up mental images of objects and people, not relating pictures and words to “the real thing.”

I read the list in it’s entirety to Kurt and he had a few marks here and there. Many of the ones he marked for himself are quite common. One checkbox stood out though. Under the list for low muscle tone was, “Be unable to catch herself from falling”. As a toddler Kurt, like most, fell a lot. The difference was that Kurt never put his arms out to catch himself and that lack of action earned him the family nickname, “Unicorn Boy” for the permanent welt front and center on his forehead.

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Picture taken 1/12/2012

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For such a precocious baby you’d think that he’d learn not to make himself cry by turning the dial all the way up on the control center and then pressing the on button thereby blasting our ears with the full force of the extra speakers situated for surround sound.

We rarely use all that equipment, except when being auditorily attacked by the butt scooting baby. You also think that his father might just unplug the damn thing for a couple years too. I’m just sayin’.

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Sweet Potato Casserole

• 2 sweet potatoes
• 2 eggs
• 1 banana
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Put the sweet potatoes on a sheet tray and roast for 40 minutes.

When the potatoes are cool enough to handle and not cook the eggs, peel them and mash all ingredients together with a potato masher until well combined.

Transfer the mixture to a 2-quart casserole dish. Bake until the mixture hot all the way through, about 40 minutes at 350 degrees.

We went out for dinner tonight so we brought some of the casserole with us for Lukas. Kurt cut it up in small chunks for him, but Lukas wanted the fork. He insisted that he eat his sweet potato with it. We watched and waited. Finally Kurt gave in and helped Lukas get a bite onto the fork. Lukas smiled and giggled, then with his other hand picked the food off the fork and put the food in his mouth with his fingers. Hilarious. He still tried to use the fork to eat through his entire meal.

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We went to the first class two days after the evaluation. It did not go very well on Sophia’s end of things, but in seeing Sophia’s reaction, the teacher came up to me and asked a few questions. I told her a little about Sophia and why we were there and she asked if we had done an evaluation yet. I found out that based on where we lived she would most likely be our advocate, as in the person who would ensure I was happy with the therapies and things my child would be receiving.

I was happy that she had approached me. I felt good that I had found this great place that would help Sophia and I. I didn’t realize I had just stepped into the patronizing rollercoaster of perpetual dismissiveness.

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At the time my own child was almost always curled up in my lap. She rarely, if ever, spoke a word there. I was fine with her being “shy”, but worried about her not even being able to voice her needs.

In January this year, we went to visit Kurt’s mom in Michigan. One night (1/23/12) we went out to dinner with Kurt’s parents. We were all sitting at the table with our menus. I hadn’t had a chance to see what I wanted yet because Kurt and I were busy shoveling food into Lukas and making sure there was something there Sophia would eat.

The waitress came by and, mostly addressing the adults, asked what we would like. Sophia piped right up and said, “Can I have chicken and fries with cold chocolate milk?” I was slightly out of place but adorable. At that moment, Sophia reminded me of that girl in class, but it wasn’t so much hilarious as it was shocking.

It’s not like Sophia hasn’t ever ordered her own meal before, but this was the first time she did it without any prompting. This was also a place she hadn’t ever been to before. We’re so proud of her. I’m so glad she’s able to speak up.

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That was actually an idea I came up with almost two years ago to the day. March 10, 2010. Sophia was 2 ½ at the time. I think about that a lot now as Lukas starts to show a little attitude now and then.

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We entered the room with the floor completely covered with a cushy blue mat. We took off our shoes and sat on the mat. Sophia wandered around the room a little. The woman watched her for a moment and then looked me over, “have you been here before?” She asked. I would describe her tone as accusing.

“No” I told her assuming she meant had I been there for an evaluation before.

“Are you sure?”

What the hell kind of question is that? This is a medical center. If I’ve been there, records exist. Look them up. “Well, I did go to the baby classes here when Sophia was three to six months old.” Those baby classes didn’t matter. That’s not what she meant. She didn’t roll her eyes at me but she shook her head and seemed angry at me, as if she thought I was lying.

After all the questions about Sophia for the evaluation she put all her papers down and asked, “Is she always this calm?”

“Yes. She’s very mellow.”

“Why are you here?” Did they not get the referral from our Doctor? The child was two and had less than twenty words, which included signs. This is a speech evaluation is it not?

“I’m hoping if I can get her to talk she’ll have fewer tantrums.” Her tantrums had begun somewhere between fifteen and eighteen months and were steadily getting worse. I figured it was the beginning of the terrible twos. I knew that speech wouldn’t eliminate them entirely, but I hoped that if we could bring her up to speed that there wouldn’t be quite as many. By the time she was two the tantrums happened daily, in fact several times a day, and I had no idea what it was that set her off.

“Well I guess we’ll help her.” Jesus lady don’t do us any favors. If she doesn’t qualify just tell me and I’ll leave. I was just referred to the place for a speech evaluation. I was not there for some flashy goddamn label.

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“He’s fifteen months” I replied.

“Oh” she said shocked.

I was shocked myself. That was the first time anyone guessed either of my children as younger. I almost wanted to ask her to guess Sophia’s age.

We were called back by the nurse and shown our room. Then the nurse told me to follow her and we would weigh Lukas in the hall. In the hall? That’s odd. Then I realized she meant for him to stand on the regular scale. “Oh, he can’t stand on his own yet.”

“Oh, ok well I guess we’ll get the baby scale out”

Lukas is twenty two pounds one and a half ounces. He’s somewhere in the twentieth percentile for weight now. And he’s thirty two inches long, right around the seventy fifth percentile for length.

For the list of milestone questions I could mostly answer, “yes”. Can he build a tower of two blocks? Absolutely. Feed himself with his fingers? Yes, most definitely. Drink from a cup? Yup. Can he indicate needs by gestures? Yeah, he points. Does he play peek-a-boo? Yes.

Lukas even initiates the game of peek-a-boo. I’ll sit in my chair with my laptop typing away and he’ll come up and giggle. I peek around my screen and he laughs then ducks out of view. It’s frickin’ cute! He has also invented a game. Occasionally he’ll bonk his head on the wall or something just hard enough that I anticipate crying may happen but not hard enough that I’m absolutely sure it hurt, so to prevent tears I’ll make him laugh by smiling and saying, “Bonk”. Yeah it’s that easy. He’ll smile and then he’ll lightly tap his head on whatever he hit it on in the first place, “Bonk”. More giggles.

Does he have three to five words? No. He only says, “Momma”. That’s all so far. Can he listen to a story? Yes. Can he point to at least one body part? No.

The doctor had heard when I told the nurse that Lukas couldn’t stand on his own yet, and asked more questions about that. When Lukas stands it’s as if he’s standing on a ball. I’m not sure that he curls his toes, but he’s not steady at all. His feet are also turned out. He does creep along the furniture and he’ll hold my fingers to walk, but he doesn’t bend his knees when he walks. He only just pulled himself to a standing position for the first time on January 16th. It was such a big event that Sophia called to me from the toy room, “Momma! Momma! Lukas is standing!” she knew we had been trying to encourage Lukas to stand for quite a while. He simply wouldn’t do it for the longest time. Each time we would try to stand him up he’d curl his legs up to his body.

The doctor told me that if there isn’t any improvement in one month that he’ll refer Lukas to the same place he referred Sophia to for speech. He stated that Lukas doesn’t need to be walking, just that there should be improvement within a month. I’m not going back to that place. They’re completely useless.

After each baby wellness visit I’m given a paper with the general list of things my baby should be able to do by this age. The doctor says there is a very wide range for normal, but on this paper the very first thing is, “The child at 15 months walks well, can bend over, walk backwards…” Ug, I don’t want to go back to that place.

Picture taken 1/16/2012. Lukas pulled himself to a standing position for the first time.

Picture taken 1/16/2012. Lukas finally realized he's supposed to be an upright monkey.

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