Dealing with Departures

Our cancer patient, husky, died in July of 2010. We took her to the vet and said our good byes. We didn’t stick around for the deed. Neither one of us wanted to see that.

I thought making the decision would be the hardest part, but after leaving the dog at the vet Sophia kept asking me, “Were shan?”. I didn’t know how to answer her. From what I understand, in general, children at her age don’t understand the permanence of death, so I had no idea what to say. I didn’t want to tell her Chelan went to sleep and then have her freak out when I try to take a nap or something, so I did the major cop-out. I told her that Chelan was staying at the vet’s office because she’s sick.

A healthy Chelan in 2005

Her usual pose

Camping at our property after diagnosis

Four months later, November 2010, I took our cat Bailey to the vet for a routine exam and shots. Not thinking about what I had said about Chelan I told her that Bailey had to see the doctor. “No! Sah-phia’s cat!” She protested.

I wonder if she still remembers that. When I took Bailey to the vet recently to get his teeth fixed I thought of that every time she asked me, “Where’s Bailey?”

nablopomo

Related posts:

All About Kurt Share

Here is another tagging meme from Facebook. I posted this in my Facebook notes on Friday, February 20, 2009, which by the way was five days before our eleventh anniversary…

Here’s a chance to see how well you really know your wife/fiance/girlfriend or husband/fiance/boyfriend. Cut, paste and fill in the answers, then forward . . . shoot, you know what to do. The real challenge is to send it to your significant other to see how right you really are.

  1. They’re sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
    History Channel – stuff about WWII/Hitler/Guns/Swords
    Kurt will sit there and argue with the TV about getting the facts wrong.
  2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing do they get on their salad?
    Kurt doesn’t usually waste space on rabbit food especially if we’re at a buffet (we usually only do buffets in Vegas). But if he did have salad it’s usually a Caesar.
  3. What’s one food they don’t like?
    I think it would be easier to list what he does like. Kurt can’t handle spice and doesn’t like it when I get all ethnic and make Menudo (it’s a soup not a band of perpetually young boys). He also doesn’t like tomatoes – it’s a texture thing. He will eat salsa, tomato sauce and tomato soup.
  4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What do they order?
    Non-alcoholic: he gets a Pepsi or Coke if they don’t have Pepsi.
    Alcoholic: Jack and Coke or some soft of amber beer on tap
  5. Where did they go to high school?
    *name of small town* Michigan
  6. What size shoe does (s)he wear?
    I donno. I don’t buy his shoes.
  7. What is their favorite type of sandwich?
    I donno. I try not to pay attention to what he eats when we’re out. The nasty greasy things he orders make me twitch.
  8. What would this person eat every day if they could?
    Pizza and or lasagna
  9. What is their favorite cereal?
    Chocolate Rice Krispies, or Coco Puffs, or Peanut Butter Captain Crunch. All the nasty ‘kids’ cereals that I don’t really want to serve Sophia but will someday have to cause her dad has it. *grumble*
  10. What would they never wear?
    Kurt will wear anything. I have pictures of him in a dress. Seriously.
  11. What is their favorite sports team?
    Kurt watches motor cycle racing. He likes Valentino Rossi (so do I but for different reasons from Kurt…I hope, the man did wear a dress after all.), Eric Bostrom, and Nicky Hayden.
  12. Who did they vote for?
    Obama of course
  13. Who is their best friend?
    Do guys do the whole ‘best friend’ thing? Gah – I guess it would have to be his high school buddy Jeremy.
  14. What is something you do that they wishes you wouldn’t do?
    Obsess over the crap that’s put into packaged food.
  15. What is their heritage?
    Danish
  16. You bake them a cake for their birthday; what kind of cake?
    If I’m making it, it’s going to be carrot cake. I have no idea what his favorite is, probably chocolate. I’m horrible aren’t I?
  17. Did they play sports in High School?
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you’re fuckin’ funny. Kurt was in band. He played the French horn.
  18. What could they spend hours doing?
    Playing City of Heroes
  19. What is one unique talent that they have?
    He can bend his fingers and touch the back of his hand. It’s really gross.

nablopomo

Related posts:

The ’25 things’ list

I’m clearing out everything I’ve put in Facebook because I plan to close my account there. I’m not sure when, probably not for another few months. I don’t actually want to get rid of everything, so I’m putting it here. I posted this in my Facebook notes on January 29, 2009…

I’ve been tagged with this three times in two days, so I guess I’ll give it a shot.

Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

  1. I’m a huge geek
  2. My dad taught me binary when I was five.
  3. When I was five I would sit for HOURS typing in zeros and ones in order to get a program to work on a machine that only had RAM (no hard drive). If I made a mistake, I had to start all over again.
  4. I have almost nothing in common with my mother.
  5. There were four blissful years where my mother didn’t even know where I lived.
  6. If there had been a creative spelling class in high school, I would have aced it in ways no one else could. Spell-check is like a godsend for me.
  7. I wish I had been related to George Carlin.
  8. I’m an only child.
  9. I wish I had siblings.
  10. I love to clean, but this doesn’t mean I judge people who don’t keep their house tidy. Like most people, I’m more comfortable in a healthy clean as opposed to a sterile clean environment.
  11. My grandpa taught me how to play cribbage.
  12. I double skunked my grandpa at age seven. He said, “Damn it I taught you too well.” He was not one to let someone win, just because.
  13. I was born and raised in Alaska and I miss it there, but I know it’s because I miss the nostalgic childhood stuff about it not because I want to live where winter weather is twenty below zero without wind-chill.
  14. I’m a frickin’ lizard, I don’t do well in cold climates.
  15. I was always in the lowest level reading classes in school.
  16. I have a very hard time getting ‘into’ a book.
  17. I didn’t discover the joy of reading until I was 16-ish when I discovered true crime books, specifically serial killer books.
  18. I would have discovered serial killer books when I was ten but the librarian who was also a nun nearly shit herself when I asked for a book about Jack the Ripper. She said they didn’t have any. I’m pretty sure she lied. Bitch.
  19. I sneer when I hear stupid shit.
  20. I sneer A LOT.
  21. I can’t lie. I can withhold truth, but cannot actually lie. So I haven’t bothered trying since I was a kid (about 14).
  22. I don’t dream very often, maybe once a year.
  23. I dwell on things A LOT.
  24. I have a very good memory especially for things I hear.
  25. I ace lecture classes, unless the teacher is a total ass hat and doesn’t test on the lectures.
  26. I curse A LOT.
  27. I don’t follow rules that I think are stupid hence, I’m on number 27 and won’t be sending this to 25 people. Deal with it. That’s right, I’m a rebel. I’m a wild woman. Can’t hold me back now. Ok, I’m done.

About number 6, now that my daughter is in preschool and I’ve had the pleasure of seeing how people in the real world are spelling the names of the children the supposedly love, I’m not so sure I would have aced a creative spelling class. I honestly would have never come up with an apostrophe in the middle of a name.

nablopomo

Related posts:

55 Flash non-Fiction Friday: Photo is in

I knew that taking the preschool photos would be like herding cats. Unfortunately, I was right. The circles around her eyes aren’t from a lack of sleep. No, the puffiness is from crying. My guess is that taking photos went much like the trip to the doctor and trying to get her on the scale.

Sophia's preschool photo

55 Flash Fiction Friday

nablopomo

Related posts:

Baby Turkey

This time last year, I was two weeks away from delivering Lukas.  I was so worried that he would come early that I planned and began making mini Thanksgiving meals the week before the Thanksgiving week.  I love Thanksgiving food. I didn’t want to miss out and even though I’m sure the hospital would provide a Thanksgiving themed meal I’m equally sure it would not compare at all. The first day of my mini Thanksgiving dinners week I made herb-roasted turkey breast and apple-cranberry dressing.  The recipe for the turkey breast is from Ina Garten and was published in the November Costco Connection.

Herb-Roasted Turkey Breast

  • 1 whole bone-in turkey breast, 6 1/2 to 7 pounds
  • 1 tablespoon minced garlic (3 cloves)
  • 2 teaspoons dry mustard
  • 1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary leaves
  • 1 tablespoon chopped fresh sage leaves
  • 1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
  • 2 teaspoons kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 tablespoons good olive oil
  • 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • 1 cup dry white wine

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Place the turkey breast, skin side up, on a rack in a roasting pan.

In a small bowl, combine the garlic, mustard, herbs, salt, pepper, olive oil, and lemon juice to make a paste. Loosen the skin from the meat gently with your fingers and smear half of the paste directly on the meat. Spread the remaining paste evenly on the skin. Pour the wine into the bottom of the roasting pan.

Roast the turkey for 1 3/4 to 2 hours, until the skin is golden brown and an instant-read thermometer registers 165 degrees F when inserted into the thickest and meatiest areas of the breast. (I test in several places.) If the skin is over-browning, cover the breast loosely with aluminum foil. When the turkey is done, cover with foil and allow it to rest at room temperature for 15 minutes. Slice and serve with the pan juices spooned over the turkey.

nablopomo

Related posts:

Food for Gumming

I told Sophia we had to take Baily, our cat, to the vet so that his teeth can be fixed. “But I don’t like shots.” She said.

“You’re not getting shots. We’re taking Bailey in to get his teeth fixed.”

“But Bailey doesn’t like shots.”

“No one likes shots. Bailey isn’t getting shots. The doctor just needs to make Bailey’s teeth stop hurting.”

“Teef hurt?”

“Yes his teeth hurt.”

“Well my teef hurt.”

“Maybe we should take you to a dentist then.”

“But I don’t like shots.”

Oh when will I be able to have normal conversations with her? She makes my head spin.

The cat wasn’t being compliant about entering the kitty kennel for his short car ride to the vet so I wound up somehow holding his four paws with one hand and shoving him head first into the crate. I don’t know how I did it really but I know the cat wasn’t happy about it and it made Lukas laugh. Now that the boy butt scoots, he’s good at herding cats to me. It’s amazing what a semi mobile baby can do.

The ladies at the veterinary office thought I was quite a site. I had Lukas in the Ergo baby carrier, clutching a cat in his kennel, and a four year old wearing a purple and blue horizontal striped dress with a solid blue shirt over it, and green and white horizontal striped knee length shorts. She was also sporting one white sock and one pink black bear print sock from Alaska plus carrying her stuffed polar bear who now wears a butterfly print shirt and a diaper. But her hair was brushed and that was the important part.

We dropped off the cat and for the rest of the day I kept hearing, “Where’s Bailey?”

“We left him at the Vet’s office so that they can fix his teeth.”

“Can we get Bailey?”

“We’ll get Bailey later today.”

When the time came to pick Bailey up I told Sophia, “Ok let’s go get Bailey from the Vet’s office.”

“Hhhmm maybe later.” She said. Oh that kid kills me.

Bailey is back home safe and sound. They removed his fang-like K9 teeth. His teeth were rotting out of his mouth and quite infected. He’ll be on the nasty smelling canned cat food for a week and then he should be able to gum the crunchy kibble food.

Bailey after the vet visit

Speaking of gumming food…Lukas was eleven months old as of November 1st and the boy still doesn’t have a single tooth. Not one. This is fine on the breastfeeding front but I’m running out of things to give the growing boy that he can gum.

nablopomo

Related posts:

Bullies Harassing for Jesus

It was my sophomore year of high school and I had just moved from a town in Alaska of about six thousand people to a city in the Seattle area with about fifty thousand. It was a bit of a culture shock, but I quickly found a friend. She was in my Spanish class. She was funny and had some wild stories, which as I reflect on as an adult seem rather farfetched.

She told me one time about a friend of hers that was raped in a gas station bathroom. Her friend called her and she drove to pick up that friend. The only issue I had with that part of the story was that my classmate was only fifteen at the time of the story telling, so she had no license. Also at this time most cars were stick shift, so unless someone had taught her to drive it’s not like ten year old can just hop in the driver seat and take off as if it were a video game. Ya know.

Anyway, I don’t remember if it was the same girl or another girl she knew who had been raped, became pregnant, and kept the baby. My classmate looked at me searching for a response, but I had none. I thought it rather amazing that she personally knew someone that had gone through such an ordeal, because even then I knew that it was statistically improbable to not only be raped by a stranger but become pregnant from the one encounter. It was also odd that I had not come across such a news story in the paper because that’s the sort of thing I would have clipped. I’ve been a sick little fuck for a long time. I said nothing, so she continued by telling me that because of that one friend, she knows that anyone could do it and that abortion for any reason is just wrong. Wow. Talk about a logical fallacy. I certainly did not agree with that. I could never look a rape victim in the face and say they absolutely had to keep the resulting pregnancy to term. I was speechless.

Various stories like this went on for weeks. Some of them light and fun others more on the uuhh preachy side. Finally one day she asked me, “What religion are you?”

“I’m Catholic.” I said without hesitation. I had been and continued to be raised as Catholic at that point. I had no reason to say otherwise except that I had always had a hard time choking down the conflicting scriptures and that a deity would create human nature and then make moral rules that oppose it. You know, it’s the fine print I had issues with. The part no one else seems to read.

My classmate then says, “Oh I’m sorry.”

I laughed. I thought she was also Catholic. It’s sort of a common joke that the Catholic religion is a tough one to follow and that even the Catholics themselves feel bad they’re stuck with it.

She again said, “I’m so sorry for you.” But with a more serious tone.

I stopped laughing, “Why?”

“Because you’re going to hell.” She handed me a pamphlet and told me to read it. I glanced at it. I had no interest in reading her pamphlet. Whatever her religion was I knew it was nothing more than a spinoff of the one I had been raised in. I don’t know at what point I tossed it in the trash, but I’m sure it never made it home.

Now at no point did I ever feel bullied. Maybe let down by someone I thought of as a potential friend, but nothing I would cause me to commit suicide. I think most can see how this might make someone more religious feel bad. To tell a religious person in seriousness that they’re going to hell, well it’s rude to say the least. I could see someone with her beliefs, and the bluntness with which she told another Christian who didn’t follow her beliefs with lock-step exactness, telling another person their beliefs/lifestyle/manner in which they were born is an abomination. I can’t understand why the people that hold those beliefs feel compelled to push them onto others and I don’t think they should be separated from bullying laws. Harassing a person to tears or more is still harassment even if it happens to be motivated by religion.

The Michigan legislature is about to pass an anti-bullying law that says in the law that bullying is ok if you do it for “religious reasons.”

In an emotional speech on the Senate floor, Democratic Leader Gretchen Whitmer accused her colleagues of creating a blueprint for consequence-free bullying. “As passed today,” said Whitmer, “bullying kids is okay if a student, parent, teacher or school employee can come up with a moral or religious reason for doing it.”

The bill is called “Matt’s Safe School Law,” after Matt Epling, a Michigan student who committed suicide in 2002 after enduring prolonged bullying. Matt’s father, Kevin Epling, expressed his dismay in a Facebook post after the state senate vote on Wednesday. “I am ashamed that this could be Michigan’s bill on anti-bullying,” wrote Epling. “For years the line [from Republicans] has been ‘no protected classes,’ and the first thing they throw in…was a very protected class, and limited them from repercussions of their own actions.”

Link to the amended version of the bill on the Michigan legislature’s website:
http://www.legislature.mi.gov/documents/2011-2012/billengrossed/Senate/htm/2011-SEBS-0137.htm

(8) This section does not abridge the rights under the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States or under article I of the state constitution of 1963 of a school employee, school volunteer, pupil, or a pupil’s parent or guardian. This section does not prohibit a statement of a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction of a school employee, school volunteer, pupil, or a pupil’s parent or guardian.

If you disagree with this law, please email the people below. Please do this even if you live out of state or in a country other than the USA. You may want to mention that you will not visit Michigan or spend any money there if this bill making bullying a legal right passes. The bill name is Senate Bill No. 137.

Email:
Michigan’s governor, Rick Snyder, at Rick.Snyder@michigan.gov
Speaker of the House: JaseBolger@house.mi.gov

If you live in the state of Michigan, find your representative here and email them: http://www.house.mi.gov/mhrpublic/

Help stop this bill and you could be saving the lives of many people who are bullied to the point of suicide.

nablopomo

Related posts:

Fair Warm Up

The first fair we go to for the season is actually the state fair. It’s smaller, more down home, very quaint. It took Sophia three hours to warm up to the idea of being there this year, but we waited and it happened. She even went on some of the rides ALL BY HERSELF.

Sophia on the carousal

Picture taken 8/28/2011

Sophia going down a slide

nablopomo

Related posts:

Adding More to the Therapy Fund

Wild Kratts is a PBS cartoon about this team that saves animals from various things, some caused by humans and some just natural predators or other elements. Each show features one or two particular animals and two of the characters, the Kratt brothers, are given ‘creature powers’ to turn into those animals and save the day using those special powers.

While watching the show yesterday Sophia asked me if I could buy her some creature powers. I posted that on Facebook and then Kurt commented, “She already has some. She can sleep like a sloth, jump like a kangaroo, climb like a monkey and poop like an elephant.”

That evening I went to a tamale cooking class and Kurt put both kids to bed. Sophia went to the bathroom, came out completely nekkid, and tells Kurt, “Come here. Look, I made stinky.” He goes in to see and then she says, “Take a picture!” Kurt told her no and then she again demanded, “Take a picture!” It wasn’t an elephant poop. I know this because he actually took a picture of the contents of the toilet and then showed it to me.

Maybe she has seen me run to get the camera a few too many times to capture the baby squeezins diaper of the month. I’ll be adding some money to the therapy fund. Maybe I should take donations. I’m not sure we have enough. Kurt even asked if I wanted it for a post. Infant squeezins is one thing. I’m drawing a line. I know it’s blurry but it’s there…somewhere.

Climbing like a monkey

Picture taken 10/2/2011.

nablopomo

Related posts: