How I became interested in birds

I loved cats when I was little. I didn’t just love ‘em I was obsessed. – I know, that’s so hard to believe. I had no interest nor had ever thought of having any type of animal other than cats. The dog we had was an outdoor only pet, so he wasn’t a close part of the family. To me cats were the only animals that were perfect companions – cuddly, human like and intelligent.

When I was ten we had to move to a new city and of course, I didn’t want to leave the only place I had ever known with all my friends so as a bribe my mom said that when we moved I could have a cockatiel. I didn’t even know a cockatiel was a bird! I didn’t consider it much of a bribe at the time because the only birds I had known were wild birds that just flew around and sung the same songs all the time. I mean what kind of companion is that! My mom told me that they could be taught to talk and one of my uncles told me about cockatiels that could do tricks and all that jazz. I wasn’t convinced, but when we finally moved I wasted no time dragging my dad to the pet store to retrieve my bribe.

I picked a baby Lutino Cockatiel. I think there were four Lutino Cockatiels at the pet store, but I knew exactly which one I wanted. I named him Dino after the Dinosaur pet on the Flintstones and quickly fell in love with him. That bird loved baths and it was hilarious to watch him bathe in just about anything. We would let him run around the dinner table eating from our plates. One time we were eating Menudo (not the music group – it’s a Mexican soup) and he jumped right in and started to take a bath. The way my mom makes the soup the broth has a red color from chilies and tomatoes so my poor Lutino had stained feathers for quite a while.

Dino died after three years because we didn’t know that carbonated drinks and alcohol were bad for birds and my parents often gave Dino sips of beer. After Dino we had a few other cockatiels and parakeets. We also saved two canary-winged parakeets from a pet store that closed down. No one was feeding the animals so they practically gave them away. One of them died shortly after we got them, but none of those birds were as special to me as Dino.

Weekdays I get up at 6:30 and bring in Gandalf’s breakfast. Though sometimes start the morning by bring him into the bathroom with me to get a steam bath and sometimes I actually make him take a shower (he hates water), then give him breakfast. Either way I’m out the door by about 7am and I usually return around 4:30.

The first person home either lets Gandalf out to play on top of his cage or puts him on his stand to whatever other room they’re going to be in. We don’t have an set amount of cuddling per day or anything we just take him to whatever room we’re in provided that if I’m in the kitchen I’m not cooking, or if Kurt is in the garage he isn’t painting something, etc. When we watch tv we “dance” to our favorite theme songs (Penn & Teller’s show) and sing along with the Vontage commercials (woo who woo who who). Gandalf gets dinner when we eat. Sometimes, depending on what I cook he eats the same thing we do. Gandalf usually takes longer to eat than we do, mostly because he must make sure to toss everything out of his bowl and then waddle around taking bites of the scattered food.

Weekends are a completely different story. We don’t cover Gandalf’s cage so he wakes up with the sun. In the winter that’s not so bad, but in the summer it’s a pain in the ass. He starts by making pleasant sounds cooing and talking, but sometimes we just don’t get up early enough for the darling pile of feathers so he starts to make the smoke alarm sound (also known as the dinner bell when my boyfriend is cooking). At that point, he’s kind of hard to ignore so we feed him and depending on how late were we up the night before we may try to sleep for another hour. On the weekends it really depends on what we’re doing – We may spend the whole day with Gandalf out of the cage, he might get to go for a ride with us somewhere, or he may have to stay in his cage for the day.

Spontaneity scheduled every Thursday at 8pm.

I got this series of OkCupid messages from Third One His profile starts with, “Im unwillingly Wise, unintentionally handsome, unwittingly financially secure, well-Traveled, Curious, Educated, Fit by the pursuit of health not ego, and bored with the mundane and ignorant.” Wow! He sounds so uumm charming. I think he forgot to add how modest he is.

Mar 30 9:56pm
I am sure I sent you a message before, but in case I didnt mention it……….YOUR WEIRD

Apr 3 7:46pm
You type that as if weird is a bad thing, and yes I think I’ve seen your profile before.

Apr 5 6:29pm
No,

I am not a subjectivist, and being able to think freely is generally a positive thing…….but being strange meerly for it’s own sake is clearly a form of exibishionism. You seem like a smart person, but I know it is hard to get attention these days……so many diversions!

Ciao

Apr 5 7:38pm
I’m just being me. I’m not here for attention. I’m here because for my friends kept sending me links to take all these tests, so I started the profile to log all the results. Now we just use it from time to time to look at all the different profiles, and answer emails from people who think I’m weird but don’t state what part of my profile prompted that assessment.

Apr 8 7:20am
Which part!???! your pulling my leg, right?

I love that comment “just being me”, so this is not a matter of nuture, but is just Nature? the way you were born? Just be yourself….I always take this as lose your anxiety and fear and just be open. This is cool and the key to happiness…..but Just being me, sounds like stagnant water, which the rest of your profile belies.

I think you are trying to be considerably more than yourself……but people who are growing must strive to be just that.

Anyway….coming up for air, I am not sure I can remember what prompted me to say how wierd you were? I think maybe it’s your preoccupation with Violence? I would have to go back and look.

So you dont like attention? you live alone? avoid other people at all times? I guess it’s my lack of maturity, but I am here for attention….there I admited it, feels so good to let it out…..

thanx for the S & G…..

Apr 18 7:54pm
NO, I am not pulling your leg. I really do not know what part prompted your email. I am not a mind reader.

I did not write my profile for the purpose of shocking people. – That is what I meant by just being me. Nature, nurture either one could be the cause, but the things that I list are on my profile are truly my taste.

> I think you are trying to be considerably more than
> yourself

On the contrary, I am trying to be considerably less than myself. I hope to disappear completely someday.

>……but people who are growing must strive to be just
> that.

Your intellect is truly dizzying dear Dr. Phil.

> So you dont like attention? you live alone? avoid other people
> at all times? I guess it’s my lack of maturity, but I am here
> for attention….there I admited it, feels so good to let it
> out…..

uuuhh I never said I didn’t like attention. I did say that I did not create the profile for catching attention. No, I do not live alone, but I do actively avoid people from time to time.

Apr 20 9:22pm
thanx for the vote of confidence in my intelectual capacity!

But really, you dont think any part of your profile would be considered strange??

oh and thanx for your attention (no sarcasm, I really am thankful!!)…it’s os hard to be genuine sometimes you know? perhaps that’s from whenc ethe wierdness comes……whoooooo….

May 29 7:43am
I can promise you one thing!

you will dissapear one day…..I still think you are not quite ready for this event though…..

Ciao

After having a discussion about favorite childhood board games at work I hopped on eBay to find a hand-made board of my favorite game just like the one I had as a kid. Well it finally came in the mail last week and on Saturday Kurt and I brought the game to our friends’ house.

Most of our games are some kind of useless trivia thing, which everyone sucks at except my darling fountain of useless knowledge, Kurt. So when we play those games everyone just resigns themselves to loosing while we listen to Kurt drone on and on about the history of something that we didn’t ask about (I love him, I really do, he makes for a great sleeping pill). Now the game I bought on eBay I thought it would be a great game to play because it’s only about 5% strategy and 95% luck, but I really should have known better than to buy a game that has aggravation in the name…actually that’s the whole name.

Since there is no control in the game it drove Kurt absolutely bonkers. On our first round of this game our friends and I had at least one marble moving out around the board, but for the life of him Kurt couldn’t roll a one or six to get his going. Kurt sat there and worrying that the game would finish before he even got one marble out, and he wasn’t quiet about it either. Aggravation is really an under statement. He bitched and moaned and pretty much did everything but throw himself on the floor and hold his breath (we would have preferred that actually – it would have been funnier and maybe even quieter).

After all his complaints he not only got a marble out on the board, but he eventually won the game. So we played again…and again it starts…

See Apostate, Kurt isn’t just a sperm donor he’s also blog fodder.

On Valentines Day, all of the other women were receiving flowers and things from their husbands or boyfriends except me. One of the managers asked me if we celebrated it because as far as she could tell I hadn’t received anything. I told her yes, we do celebrate it, and he gave me a card. She couldn’t believe that I found that acceptable and so I went on to tell her that if he gave me flowers at work I would kill him in his sleep. “In his sleep?” she asked, “wouldn’t you want him to be awake?”
“No, it’s much harder that way.”

A few days later, on our seventh anniversary (Saturday February 25th) Kurt gave me a book, “The History of Torture & Execution” by Jean Kellaway. He bought it as an actual gift because I collect books about serial killers and other such things that many people consider grisly and just plain sick. But then he realized the oddity of it being our seventh anniversary and he was getting this as an actual gift, so he signed it…

I laughed and brought it to work for that manager to see the book and the signed note in it. I tapped on her door and ask if she had a minute while holding the book. I explained that it was our seventh anniversary on Saturday, show her the cover to which she got a chuckle over and then I open the book to the note he wrote:

“Happy Anniversary Sweetie
Celebrating seven years of torture for us both
Love,
Kurtie”

I turned to the manager and said, “Now you can’t tell me he’s not romantic!”

When I came home from work I made the mistake of checking the mail. In the mailbox was a very thick envelop from the Department of Treasury Internal Revenue Service in Fresno California. I love those people, but I think they may need glasses. I knew that anything this thick from the IRS was not a good thing. I got in the house and opened my little IRS care package to find that they’re under the impression that I didn’t pay enough on last year’s taxes. Apparently I owe them $1,376 plus $81.00 in interest, and if they continue to believe this I’m going to go to Federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison, because I simply didn’t make enough money that year to justify that amount.

I think the confusion lies in their belief that the mutual fund that I closed that year held untaxed money. I think they only bothered to look at the first page of the 1099 that the company I did business with sent. – That’s right, FIRST PAGE. If the IRS got the exact same information I did they should have THREE pages to sift through. This was a regular mutual fund in which I contributed my already taxed cash on a monthly basis. This was not an IRA or 401K. This was something I did on my own, and on the second page shows that my TOTAL ORDINARY DIVIDENDS was $55.37. That’s all. That’s it. Fifty five dollars and thirty seven cents is all I should be taxed on because all other money in that account had been taxed, so that is the amount I put on my tax form. Oh the crap I have to go through – It’s cause I’m a half-beaner isn’t it?

They just don’t like it when people that are painfully aware the government isn’t going to stop dipping into the social security funds meant for our retirement go ahead and take the initiative and start saving their own money. Cause once we retire we stop paying enough to be considered a contributing member of society. It’s just a drain to have old people around. Don’t believe me? Take a good look that that wonderful new healthcare that’s been devised. Tell me with a straight face that we care.

McDonald’s sued for having milk, wheat in fries-WSJ

Sunday February 19, 5:49 PM EST

NEW YORK (Reuters) – McDonald’s Corp. (MCD) faces at least three lawsuits claiming the fast-food giant misled the public after it acknowledged earlier this week its French fries contain milk and wheat ingredients, the Wall Street Journal Online reported on Sunday.

The suits were filed by people with celiac disease, who have an intolerance to a protein found in wheat, the Journal said.

McDonald’s, based in Oak Brook, Illinois, had previously described the flavoring as safe for people with food allergies and other dietary sensitivities, the Journal said.

What what what? McDonalds fries aren’t made with real Idaho potatoes? Ya know McDonalds has been in business for many years and I don’t think the ingredient lists have changed that much over time…it’s still shit and if you’re allergic to crap I suggest you not eat out at all. If you have some rare allergic reaction to every goddamn thing disease it’s up to you to find out what’s in that pre-made food, and don’t ask those poor minimum wage kids behind the counter – they don’t fucking know. I don’t know where anyone would get a full ingredient list for fast food, but if you have the kind of time to do that sort of research you have the time to make your own damn sandwich. Don’t get me started on those people that have sued because McD’s made them fat. Fuckin’ idiots!

In high school I had a teacher that hated it when we said, “that sucks!” She would always ask us to rephrase what we said even if it was something that was uttered in our own conversations outside of class and not just as a response to her homework assignments, so I started a trend of saying, “That vacuums!” I think she gave up her quest to reform our language shortly after.

Comment from a friend:

I pity anyone who tries to reform you.

Hehe yeah that statement reminds me of this guy I dated for about three weeks. He was 30 at the time, had a bachelor’s degree in English and worked in a warehouse processing shipping orders. On our third date we went out to a comedy show. The comedians weren’t very good, but were of course as colorful as most, and so is my language outside of work (I’m sure you’ve noticed). He enjoyed the show and afterwords we were talking about comedians. I had brought a couple tapes one of Dennis Leary and one of Jeff Foxworthy. After we listened to both he asked which one I liked best. I told him that between those two choices I like Dennis as I tend to go for raw adult humor and comedians that make you really think about the things most people just take at face value over daily life observations and “family friendly”. I didn’t explain my reasoning to him but I gave my preference, and he told me that he liked Jeff better – cause he doesn’t curse. This was his passive-aggressive way of telling me that my language was too colorful for him. I rolled my eyes at his response and then he proceeded to tell me that people who curse sound less intelligent and that there are better ways to express a point or something along those lines. I thanked him for the show and dinner and told him that we just didn’t seem to click and I didn’t want to see him anymore. He called me a b**** and I told him he was right…that does make you sound like an f***ing idiot! And I left. He called me a month or so later, and without even apologizing for being a hypocrite, he wanted to see if I was available and if I wanted to go out again. You have got to be kidding me! The sick thing is I think that was his way of forgiving me for my faults…as if I cared to be with someone that would look down on me because I see nothing wrong with using all of the English words and not just the ones deemed socially acceptable. It was like I should feel privileged that he would give me a second chance or something.

Why do English majors turn their noses up to the most versatile form of English? They act like it’s a lower form has no meaningful place in society yet they exist in every language and when disallowed they’re merely replaced with words like…“Oh shoot”, “Darn it all”, “Gosh darn it”, “Fudge”, Smeg and Farfignuten. It’s an attempt to convey the SAME THING!

On Friday we went out to dinner and a comedy show for a friend’s birthday. Somehow the dinner conversation drifted to the old TV show, “Little House on the Prairie”. I’m sure it was Kurt’s fault. He was talking about the friend the Ingles had and kept calling him, “Mr. French”. All of us were confused, because none could remember a Mr. French in that show. Since all of us except Kurt agreed he eventually gave in, but not before remembering the real name – Mr. Edwards. Kurt also recited the song that this character always sung fully and loudly for most of the restaurant to hear. This morning went I checked my email at work this was waiting in the inbox…now remember the night I was just talking about was FRIDAY and it’s now MONDAY MORNING…

So I’m not completely crazy.
Mr French was the butler on Family Affair.
Mr Edwards was the friend of Mr Ingles on Little House on the Prairie.
That character was played by Victor French.
It’s amazing what your sleep muddled brain will think of when the alarm goes off at 4:15am.

And now for the song:

Old Man Tucker was a fine old man,
Washed his face in a frying pan,
Combed his hair with a wagon wheel,
Died with a toothpick in his heel

Get out’ the way of Old Man Tucker,
It’s too late to get his supper,
Supper’s over and dinner’s cookin’,
Old Man Tucker just stand there lookin’……

He sent this to everyone that was at the birthday dinner, and by the time I got into work one person had responded with…

Freak!

To which Kurt replied:

But I’m not crazy.