Yin and Yang

Last night Kurt and I had “game night” with some friends. We played list 8 of the game Scattergories and had rolled an “n”, so all answers must begin with this letter. Number five for list 8 was “Bad Habits” to which Kurt privately wrote on his sheet “nagging”. Number 11 on list 8 was “Leisure Activities” to which I privately wrote on my sheet…“nagging”. Who says we don’t compliment one another?

Kurt and I ventured to the mall today. It’s not a place that we almost never go to willingly, but it’s Christmas time and that means we are obligated to buy someone other than ourselves gifts. We passed every store grimacing at all the useless crap, then we made it to the center of the mall, and then we saw it. The one thing, other than the plethora of retarded Christmas songs played on the radio, that lets you know undoubtedly that it’s the jolliest season of the year…the line of screaming children leading to “Santa”. Why do people subject their children to this? All year long is spent teaching their children to be weary of and not to take candy from strangers (except on Halloween), yet every Christmas they herd their children into lines leading to the lap of some guy wearing a smelly red suit forcing them to sit for a picture with tears streaming down their faces. What better job for a child molester that just wants to cop a quick feel? They’re already crying; why not give them something to shriek about. Merry Fucking Christmas!

Of course if you’d like a truly creepy experience try the casino by my house. In the parking lot the casino has a trailer, the kind generally used as an office at a construction site, and on the outside is a neon sign that reads, “Santa Pictures”. It makes Santa look like he lost all his money gambling and this is all that’s left. It’s so creepy that I haven’t once seen a line leading to it or anyone walking towards it while I drive by.

My dad is a smoker to this day and of course smoked around me when I was a kid. The worst is when we went on long car rides in Alaska in the winter, which was every weekend. No it wasn’t my choice. I hated it, and it did have an affect on me. When I joined the military I had to do a respirator test to paint the planes and part of the test is one on lung capacity. My lung capacity was at 80% of what a female my size/weight should have been. The doctor actually said, “Are you sure you don’t smoke?” But that’s part of life. Parents make a lot of decisions that affect their kids like whether or not to spank and how late they can stay out. People that tell their kids that they’re stupid or that they can’t do certain things with their lives – psychological affects, there is no way to police them.

As of midnight last night Washington State’s latest and biggest set of laws to protect people from themselves went into effect. I admit as a non-smoker it’s would be nice to go to a bar and not have to shower afterwards, but I don’t go that often. It’s not just because of the smoke it’s because I don’t drink much and I’ve never used bars as a place to meet people.

Around here bars are really the last public places for smokers, so really the only time I run into smoky air is when I pass by a group of smokers loitering outside a restaurant. And now they will have to stand 25 feet from any entrance, window or other ventilation, which in downtown Seattle would mean they just can’t smoke – unless they keep walking back and forth in font of the entrance.

Proponents of this say that it’s to save the workers from being exposed, and I understand that second-hand smoke affects people not choosing to participate, but for the most part its children of smokers. How on earth do you police that without just making smoking a crime? In California they tried to pass a law that would allow the police to pull people over who are smoking with a child in the car. It’s just insanity to me because the law doesn’t extend to the home – and how is it supposed to help anything by making parents criminals?

Workers choose where they will work and patrons choose to go to bars and other smoking establishments. The whole single mom, no jobs around stuff is just crap. As if retail jobs or other areas of customer service in non-smoking places just don’t exist, besides at the end of the day she’ll walk outside and take a deep breath of fresh car exhaust air, get into her new SUV with the new formaldehyde car smell, go home to sit on her formaldehyde treated furniture, and dig her feet into her plush formaldehyde treated carpet. Don’t get me started on what she might be using to “freshen” the air or clean her own house on a regular basis. And you can’t tell me that it’s healthy to be inhaling all the kitchen grease from the truck stop diner. It doesn’t cause cancer (that we know of) and it doesn’t raise her cholesterol just by breathing it, but I’m sure it still coats the lungs. And who ever said none of these single moms that we’re trying to save don’t smoke?

This should be a decision for the business not the government. If it’s a smoking place it’ll be up to the non-smoker if they wish be exposed to it. It’s the property of the business owner and people aren’t required to go. It’s not like we’re debating on whether or not smokers can light up in the operating room of a hospital. And Non-smokers have had the whole airplane to themselves for about 20 years now. It’s great, but do we now have to walk into bars and tell them that their infringing on our right to clean air? It’s ridiculous; just go somewhere else if you’re really that sensitive! – taking years off your life, you stupid twit, so are car fumes, perfumes and colognes (neurotoxins, carcinogens and air pollutants).

I just don’t like extra laws that redirect police attention. Telling adults that they can’t smoke in public buildings might stop some people from smoking, which is the desired result of all this smoke policing, but people are still going to smoke, and non-smokers will still catch a whiff of it from time to time. Really this is just another thing that police will use, like speeding tickets, to randomly exercise their authority over other people when they’re having a bad day. If they banned smoking altogether I wouldn’t care at all except that it would add to the “war on drugs” which is useless (except for adding so many people into the prison system that murderers and rapists are released for lack of room), but they’re pretending that these laws aren’t ultimately leading to that.

I went for a follow up appointment on my blood tests. They’re all normal. One was for my thyroid, one for anemia, and two covered other stuff regarding pregnancy. I had finally told a doctor about my fears of not being able to conceive, but because all four of those tests came out fine he decided in his tiny little mind that I’m just a hypochondriac. On my first visit I handed him a sheet listing all the symptoms of hypothyroid that I’m experiencing, and he humored me with blood tests, but when the test came out normal he just focused on one of the symptoms…DEPRESSION.

I told him on the first visit that the depression was not actual clinical depression like I’ve had in the past. It was more of a, I’m sick and therefore frustrated and depressed because I don’t have the energy to do anything. It’s not, my life sucks and I might as well not get out of bed because there is nothing I feel like doing anyway. His answer was simply to offer me antidepressants and suggest that the rest of my symptoms were due to stress. “Perhaps it’s the stress of trying to have a baby.” My head nearly exploded. Maybe it is stress, but I had already told him once that I’ve had these symptoms longer than six months, which is how long we’ve been trying to concieve. Not that I wanted to hide it but I’m sure my famous, “you’re a fucking idiot” sneer was showing. I really don’t have patients for stupidity. He has assumed that all these symptoms appeared AFTER I started trying to conceive and that’s just not the case. I even told him that at least one of the symptoms has been on going for TWO years and others for about nine months.

I’m not stressed about having a baby. I feel that I have a legitimate concern about not being able to conceive. When I was 22 I finally became pregnant after three years of not doing anything to prevent it and it ended in miscarriage. This retarded doctor didn’t ask any questions about it. He merely said that infertility usually isn’t suspected until we’ve been trying for a year and it’s only been six months, then he proceeded to tell me how to use the basil temperature method. He completely ignored my other attempt at pregnancy. I’m not at all impressed.

Ten years of education is completely useless if you don’t have the capacity to process information and reach alternative methods of solving a given problem without ignoring the key aspects.

One of my friends tossed this into my cage to chew on….

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. Hope it works for you — and me! You have 6 minutes

I’ve seen better.

There’s some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you’re not superstitious. This has been sent To you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far.

Emphasis on SOME

Do not keep this message.

Must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.

The friend that sent it to me asked, “How did agnostic make it in with superstitious?” And also pointed out that, as she put it, there seems to be a “double negative” in there.

To start…I have a feeling that this English impaired person meant to write, “This is true even if you are not superstitious, or are agnostic, or are otherwise faith impaired.” So with that said…

I’m assuming that the perpetrators of this believe that it’s a deity that improves the lives of people. A person that isn’t superstitious obviously wouldn’t pass this on, and an agnostic may or may not because they of their uncertainty of deity(s) and their role in improving the lives of people. What gets me is that instead of atheist they put “otherwise faith impaired” as if there is something wrong or evil with people that don’t share the same mainstream thoughts. They must be “impaired”. Agnostic is ok because they’re merely unsure, but an atheist…that’s just way off, much like my not voting for Bush was to the Vampire Nazi Nurse. I see it as a narrow-minded dig to anyone different. If I had received this from someone who was just mindlessly following the herd – believe me they would have gotten an ear full from me. (eeerr eye full?)

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

Good advice for seeking a life mate, but umm is it really necessary to marry?

THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

Don’t believe all you read either. I didn’t send this out within the allotted time and uumm…nothing.

FOUR. When you say, “I love you,” mean it.

Fair enough.

FIVE. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye.

And if you’re blind, what then?

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

What if you’ve dated for two years and lived together for four? Is it still necessary to be engaged for six months?

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

Hahaha how do you make sure the conversation skills are there (see #2) if you fall for the first person that looks good?

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

Really? I dream of being a gazillionaire via doing absolutely nothing other than spending all my money on lotto tickets.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

And exactly how do you know that? I think that people who love money deeply and passionately are empty shells, but if that’s how they choose to live…whatever.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

Fair enough.

ELEVEN. Don’t judge people by their relatives.

I certainly agree with this one.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

That’s a good idea during an emergency – make the call quick and speak slowly and clearly with the emergency operator. Other than that slow talkers are just annoying.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”

That sounds a bit patronizing. Why not be honest and just say, “I’d rather not discuss that.”

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

Not always sometimes it’s just luck.

FIFTEEN. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.

What for? That started in the middle ages because there was no medicine and a sneeze typically meant death would soon follow.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

Corny but ok

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

This person should follow their own advice (see #13).

EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

Agreed.

NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Yep.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

That’s why I answer telemarketers with a frown.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

K – whatever.

Now, here’s the FUN part!

Yippy

Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve.

1-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.
5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.
9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks
15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape.

I don’t really need to comment on this part do I?

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

And doesn’t send you mindless drivel unless they just want to watch you tear it apart.

Do not keep this message

Demanding aren’t they?

Today I went into see a doctor about a possible hypothyroid problem. It went well enough. I needed to have some blood drawn and that’s when the fun began. I put my sheet in the little in tray at the lab and within seconds was called back. The nurse asked that I go down to the end, the third chair and have a seat. I obediently went. I watched her read the sheet thingy, pull four vials out of her collection, take my little name stickers off the sheet thingy and put them on the vials. I asked her, “so which arm do you want to see?” She said it didn’t matter. I pulled up both my sleeves to see which veins were more visible, left of course. I pulled down my right sleeve and handed her my left arm after taking my hair scrunchy off my wrist. She noticed the black rubber bracelet that I’ve been wearing for about a year now and flipped it over and around so that she could see what was engraved on it… “I did not vote 4 Bush”, she read aloud. She looked up at me and asked where I got it. “A friend bought a bunch of them on the internet and he gave it to me.”

“My husband would kill me if I wore one of those.” She said. And I thought about what kind of restrictive relationship she must be in if she isn’t free to express herself. She continued with a smug, “He’s in the military.” I bet she thought she had me, as if I should feel compelled to apologize for my rudeness in practicing my freedom of speech.

“I was in the military and I’m still wearing it.” I told her. She didn’t seem to believe me.

“What branch were you in?” She asked me in the same testing manner that many people take up with me.

“Navy.”

“How long were you in?”

“Three years.”

“Were you stationed here?”

I was sure she meant here as in a few miles South in Everett, so I said, “No I was at Whidbey Island.”

“Are you from here?”

“No, I’m originally from Alaska.”

“Then What are you doing Here!” She demanded. She didn’t yell it, but it certainly wasn’t as cordial as someone asking, “So what brings you to this area?”

I looked at her a little stunned, “My parents moved here when I was a teen, but still consider Alaska my home.” I said. What am I doing here? I’m not allowed to move from Alaska? Clearly she didn’t know that Whidbey Island is just a couple hours drive north, but I’m not in the position to hand her a map. Yes I was in a very docile mood today. It just proves that I’m not myself.

She told that she had moved her children here from Minnesota at a very young age, and they still feel the same.

Finally she’s done with her battery of questions and she tells me that there will be more than the usual poke because of the vein she has to draw from. “There is just no gentle way to do this one because of the position.” She said.

I have had my blood drawn many many many times and buy some very inept military corpsman, but it never hurt like this! – That Cunt!

And by the way – it’s the same damn vein as always! – Not arterial blood.

I was just looking up the history of the ACLU and came across some anti-ACLU sites. It seems that the most popular anti-ACLU, or at least one of the highest ranked by Google when searching “ACLU History” is by Nedd Kareiva. So I did a search on just his name and a lot of sites came up in which many had some blurb about “put the fear of god in them” including Nedd’s stop the ACLU site. Why is it that anytime someone goes against the Christian rules someone else wants to put the “fear of god” in them? I’m just wondering cause…Isn’t “god” supposed to be nice? I heard rumors that the Christian god is a merciful one. Or was that Jesus? Maybe they’re like bad cop/good cop?

Last night Kurt and I went out to dinner and were discussing parenting methods and of course Kurt said something very Kurtish. I told him we should create a spoof website with all the alternative methods of parenting that he comes up with and we could even list his potato peeler as the ultimate answer.

After 9/11 Kurt approached a circle of co-workers talking about what they think should happen to Osama Bin Laden if/when the US catches him. They asked Kurt and he gave his answer… Kurt said that Osama should be buried up to his neck. Then one at a time each person that had a loved one die because of Osama should be left alone in the room with him for five minutes. They can’t have any weapons except a potato peeler with a cork at the end so as to prevent a quick stabbing death to the eye. All of Kurt’s co-workers shuddered and quickly dispersed.

Kurt thought that having the potato peeler story on the site wouldn’t make any sense because no one remembers that Osama is the one we were supposed to catch in the first place. He then went on to give his idea for a political cartoon…

Dubya and OJ out golfing. OJ asks Dubya if he’s seen Osama. Dubya says no and then asks OJ, “Have you found the killer?” OJ says no and they both ride off in their golf cart laughing and continue with their game.

I was soooo tired this morning that I set the alarm so that I could sleep a little more after Kurt left, but before the alarm goes off I hear Aaack hhck aack blah… Bailey had puked up clumpy bright brown food on both blankets and the sheets, and nearly fell off the bed trying to back away from the puke in his cone. For those that don’t know Bailey had to have surgery to remove a kidney stone and is now a funnel headed kitty. I had opted for the surgery after he had twice peed outside the litter box, which Petie later marked as his territory and subsequently resulted in my banishing the dogs outside forever. $1,200 later and I don’t even get to keep the stone as it has to be sent to Minnesota to be analyzed. Apparently in Minnesota they don’t have the capability to mail things back out. Who says I don’t know what it’s like to have kids!

I received an email from a friend telling me that a mutual friend of ours was going to be without Internet access in a week. For us this would be like cuting off our air supply…don’t laugh! This is no laughing matter!

This was his email to me:

She got tired of not having comedy central, so she switched to satellite. But now the fucking cable compan won’t sell her internet without cable tv!

And it being Searcy, there’s no other broadband provider…

So, she did find out why there’s no comedy central. It’s hilarious.
Ask her!

So I had to ask and this is what she wrote to me:

In 1997, there was a school-shooting in Jonesboro, Arkansas. It’s a small city in the northeast corner of the state, about 90 miles from Searcy. Around that same time, White County Video (as White County Cable TV was known at the time) was making a bid to include Comedy Central in its lineup, but the good citizens of Searcy heard about this animated series featuring children… maybe you’ve heard of it: it’s called “South Park”… anyway, the good citizens of Searcy somehow knew that in each episode of South Park one of the characters gets killed as a running joke. “Oh my god, you just killed Kenny! You bastard!” (How they knew that, since they don’t watch the show, is beyond me. I’m quite sure Jesus must have spoken to them
directly.) So the good citizens of Searcy decided to stage a letter writing campaign and petition drive to convince the local cable provider that Comedy Central should never be allowed to join the cable package as long as “South Park” stayed on the air. After all, our children might decide to take guns to school and shoot up their classmates after watching it.

Ironically, I have confirmed that Jonesboro’s only cable provider, Cox Communications, does provide Comedy Central. Seems the good citizens of Jonesboro, who personally experienced the school shooting tragedy, are not opposed to a little animated violence.

The General Manager of White County Cable TV told me that story yesterday. So I responded, “And how many thousands of letters will you be needing, then? How many signatures were on the petition?” And he said, “It’s not like that… your one voice is as important to us as any number of signatures on a petition…” If that’s so, why hasn’t my THREE YEARS of requesting Comedy Central brought about any change to their network lineup? Because he’s full of shit.

Blah blah… As Justin told you, I’m losing cable internet on the 23rd. There are no other broadband options in my area (DSL is already at subscriber capacity, so they’re not taking more customers). We might get satellite internet, but it will suck… and it’s expensive. I’m angry.