I received two prepaid postage envelops with the junk mail today. I use them to return junk mail. “Do you have anything you want to send back to Capital One?” I asked waving the envelopes.
“Yeah, I have to take a shit.”
“Ok but I’m going to make you the one to lick the envelope.”
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
“What age did we stipulate for the trust fund?”
“Twenty-five, I remember because we wanted her to live a little before receiving money so she doesn’t just blow it on things like fur necklaces.”
*blink blink blink*
“Fur necklaces? It’s a good thing I’m not into jewelry. You would really suck at picking anything good.”
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
“You know what I love about the Smurf toddler pictures?”
“No, what?”
“I love that you sat back with the camera and just let her do her thing. Some parents get all bent out of shape about that kind of thing.”
“Well then I did a whole lot better than that…I gave her the pen.”
The story behind the 55 and a little beyond: Last weekend we had a day set aside for potty training. I barricaded Sophia and myself in our basement floor because it’s tiled and there is a bathroom. We played with the big LEGOS and read lots of books. We got bored after a while so I gave her a blue pen and paper. I knew she would draw on herself a little but I ignored it. I heard her drawing on the paper and after about a minute turned to look at her and there she was, Smurf toddler.
Shortly after the pictures, I sat her on the potty and read a few more books while she did nothing. She did the sign for dirty and wanted to wash her hands at the sink so I let her. A couple minutes later she came out saying, “wet, wet, wet”. I’m looking at her like, “no shit, you were just playing in the sink.” Then I saw the blue trail from the ink washing off the bottom of her feet.
“Oh, you peed?”
“Yes.”
Kurt got a little bent out of shape about Smurf toddler. He asked me if it was a special washable pen. I said, “It was a pen off your desk. I’m sure it’ll come off eventually.”
A little later Sophia peed in the potty. She sat on the potty for about 30 minutes while I read to her. She started to go and then looked at me, “uh oh, wet, wet,” and she tried to hold it. Then she saw my big smile and realized it was a good thing, “Yay! Are you peeing in the potty?”
“Yes” she smiled.
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
The motorcycle rolls in, “Daddy’s home,” I say. She runs to the window watching him check the mail, then runs to the top of the stairs. “Eh-Low!” She shouts.
“He can’t hear you from there.” Down the stairs she goes, pushes open the door purposely left ajar, “Eh-low, eh-low, eh-low”. She says in rapid fire.
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
My guest and I met with a mutual friend, of sorts. Midway through the visit, I asked my guest, “Have you noticed how he must always RUN up all the stairs?”
“Hmm…”
I attempted to recreate the scene, but failed. Later we passed a StairMaster. Silently, I pointed it out, and we cried with laughter.
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
She has swimming classes twice a week. I took her to the park nearly everyday this summer to socialize with other kids. You’d think such efforts would show results. Her peers string two and three word sentences together. I’ve yet to hear ‘mama’. If I’d continued working, keeping her in daycare, would it be different?
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
It pains me to have information that points in a sinister direction yet would have no affect if reported. I suppose that is what gives us all our privacy. I hope for the sake of possible victims and their families that this person proves me wrong. I hope already tapped potential is never fully achieved.
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If yelling can cause air molecules to vibrate faster, thereby making the air warmer, I think Sophia’s screaming every night for the last few weeks is to blame for the record temperatures in the Seattle area. All right fine, the math doesn’t support that theory.
I hear the Earth is getting closer to the sun.
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
I told Kurt about my recent post citing an article about the bell curve of the toddler language explosion and how he’s encouraging a dramatic vocabulary increase. I reminded him of telling Sophia her blanket, “Friend” must stay home because he’s agoraphobic.
Kurt laughs, “He’s not agoraphobic. He’s angora-phobic. He’s afraid of fuzzy open spaces.”
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man.
I crave it on rare occasion, so Sophia and I shared a meal. Who knew it would promote bathing? The bath time push isn’t an official one therefore no equipment is supplied, but I think the responsibility is implied when certain meals are advertised for children. McDonalds BBQ sauce should come with soap and towel!
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.