Tag Archives: butt

Yo Adrian!

Posted on by

Sophia was about eighteen months old when she had her first bloody nose. It wasn’t a gusher but there were drops of blood. She had been climbing the metal ladder rungs on the playground. She lost her footing and hit her nose on the way down.

Last night Sophia got her first black eye. She was jumping up the stairs like a giant frog. She must have hit her cheekbone on the edge of a stair while jumping up, I couldn’t really tell from my vantage point at the top of the stairs. It stunned her so much she went to lean back on her butt. Forgetting that she was on the stairs she then rolled down four steps.

Yo Adrian!

Picture taken 8/27/2011 Sophia's first shiner.

And she was just healing from her last wound too. Three weeks ago, we were at a bus stop. She ran to the bench, which was backless and slipped right off of it. She wedged herself between the bench and the glass wall of the bus stop shelter. Her back slid down the glass wall. I’m not sure if she hit the metal framing on the bottom with her back or not, but either way she has serious road rash on her back. It’s still pink in that spot, but the scabbing is all gone.

Related posts:

Hillbilly Headbanger Baby

Posted on by

The child loves to dance. Actually, it’s more like butt bouncing. There is a song on TV which makes her stop everything she’s doing, go to the screen, and do the baby butt buggy. The other day she heard it and went from incessant whining for milk in the kitchen to forgetting whatever it was she wanted and dancing in the living room.

Sophia knows she’s not allowed to stand on chairs especially at dinner time but the song came on while we were eating. She looked at me and got on her feet but didn’t stand. She just bounced the best she could with her knees completely bent and against her chest. I helped her off the chair so she could fully express herself up near the TV.

The commercial she adores so much is one for Emerald Downs, which is a horse racing place in Auburn Washington. The song is “Break My Stride” by a bluegrass band called Hillbilly Highway. It’s a country twang banjo version of the 1980’s Matthew Wilder song by the same name.

Kurt played an mp3 of dueling banjos on his computer she danced to that too. She also dances to AC/DC, and she dances slightly different for the two genres. With the country twang song she bounces, then stops, spins in circles three times, and then bounces again. For AC/DC…click on the picture to see the video clip. ;-)

Headbanger Baby

It’s a large file, but it’s worth it. Ok, I may be a tad biased. :P

Related posts:

Monkey Butt Giving

Posted on by

Anti Monkey Butt PowderMy parents came over for Thanksgiving and brought me an early birthday present along with our Christmas presents. As I unwrapped my birthday gift which was rectangular and about the size of a box that would house a bottle of wine perfectly my dad said, “This is something that will help cure what ales you.” Because of the size and shape of the box I said, “Awesome!” I thought I was in fact getting some wine. I’m not any sort of wine aficionado by any stretch of even the wildest imagination. Before going wine tasting with a couple friends I regarded wine equal to rotten grapes, which is something to throw out. They introduced me to late harvest wine and his much more attractive cousin Ice wine. Fully opened the present clearly wasn’t wine. I was given a bottle of Anti Monkey Butt powder, which is an athlete’s foot/jock itch/anything that itches due to sweat powder. I guess iron butt motorcyclists call their particular aliment monkey butt. That’s also what we lovingly call Sophia. I wonder, if I sprinkle a bit on her will she disappear for a couple hours?

Sophia enjoyed her unwrapped gift immensely! It’s probably the most gaudy and hideously Pepto-Bismol pink piece of furniture I’ve ever seen in my life, but the child loves her Dora the Explorer fold out couch. She spent all day today climbing on, off and all over the thing.

Drinking milk on Dora couchsitting up on Dora couchSitting on Dora the Explorer couch

Cheesey milk grin

November, 30 posts in 30 days nablopomo.com

Related posts:

One small step for man; one giant leap for baby

Posted on by

Baby butt scooter is now a climber. On Saturday, I was doing laundry with her on the main floor of our tri-level house. Coming from the laundry room in the basement, I carried the laundry basket up to the main floor. I hurdled the baby gate that keeps baby butt scooter from scooting down seven steps, and continued around up to the third floor to the bedrooms. Baby butt scooter followed me! She climbed up two of the steps. All on her own! I think she would have gone up more, but Kurt grabbed her.

Related posts:

Cruiser Games

Posted on by

Sophia isn’t walking yet. I’m not as concerned about her not walking as I am about her not talking though, because I know she can walk. She’s an extremely cautious baby. She is incredibly steady when standing and can stand without pulling up on something. She can even go from standing to squatting or lower herself to her seat without crashing to the floor. She has full control. She just needs to take that next step. Two days before her birthday I swear I saw her take one step when she was busy moving two Mega Bloks from one chair in the computer room to another just a step away. So she’s not-a-toddler yet. She’s a cruiser.

The first game invented by our cruising baby was to butt scoot between my feet while I’m trying to cook or do dishes. She first started doing this about three or four weeks ago and when I told Kurt about it he watched for her to start her game and then he followed her! They both went right between my feet as I’m trying to cook with knives and hot cast iron pans. As Kurt pushed through he said, “wow, that’s a tight fit.” Funny, he’s never complained about that in the past.

Kurt has mimicked the baby before the scoot between mommies feet game. If baby cruiser realizes that I’m in the kitchen without her she’ll butt scoot on over and right behind her is the louder thudding sound of her THIRTY-SIX year old father BUTT SCOOTING. Just imagine it. I six foot four inch, thirty-six year old man, butt scooting behind his one year old daughter. She thinks it’s funny. I’m a little creeped out by it mostly because after he sees my look of disdain he throws his arms out and shouts (he actually uses his normal voice, but it’s a shout), “Have sex with me!” in a geeky voice, that resembles a loud version of Pat from SNL.

Baby cruiser loves to be chased. I think this started with Kurt stomping around behind her when she was headed for drawers we wanted her to stay out of. Now anytime she’s headed for something she knows we don’t want her around she giggles as she butt scoots towards it. She has also taken to rolling over and scooting away during diaper changes, right after I take her diaper off. She’s getting QUICK! And saying, “I’m gonna get you” or stomping behind her makes her giggle so hard she almost can’t move. It’s HILARIOUS!

After learning all the things that need to move out of the bathroom before taking a shower with baby cruiser in the room she began a new version of “mommy fetch this”. Usually “mommy fetch this” is played while baby cruiser is restrained to a chair and she pretends that she has no idea if gravity really works *every time*. This version of “mommy fetch this” works when baby drops something in the tub and mommy quickly tosses it back out far enough to give herself a second to rinse a toe but not so far that baby cruiser decides she doesn’t want to go after it. The first time baby cruiser played this game was with a remote control I bought for her in hopes that she would leave the real ones alone. Stop laughing! Yes, I know, stupid new mom.

She tossed the remote into the tub a few times during my shower, and after that one of the controls that plays a song sounded like a dying mariachi band. Yes, the whole band. We had to take the batteries out and let it dry up. It’s mostly back to normal now. Since then I’ve had to save several stuffed animals and an opened package of panty liners that she found on top of the toilet tank. Damn her for being tall!

Related posts:

Good Clean Fun

Posted on by

Now that Sophia sits up and can stand on her own for almost a minutes I’ve ditched the bath seat for a rubber suction cup bath mat. She loves the new bath time freedom and butt scoots all around the tub. I first gave her this freedom a couple weeks ago, but the night before last was the first time she tried one of her mealtime booster seat tricks in the tub. Imagine if you will, an infant sitting nekkid in the tub. Usually girls don’t create their own personal showers like little boys do, so you really don’t know if you’re ever washing them in their own urine. Maybe you can if there is a lot, I don’t know. Sophia was sitting in about three or four inches of water with her feet in front of her. Her legs weren’t straight in front of her because nothing extends straight out on an infant except their arms and then it’s only when they’re reaching for something you’d rather them not have and you aren’t really looking but know they simply couldn’t have reached that from over there, but I digress.

She’s sitting with legs in front, knees slightly bent towards her sides. She leans in towards the water with her mouth open and touches the water with her tongue. She did this repeatedly. The water was soapy from washing her, but all I could think is, “mygod I hope she didn’t pee!”

Related posts:

Milestones of the Human Petri Dish

Posted on by

Yep, she’s sick again. I really hope I don’t get this one. On Wednesday Sophia was very calm and quiet, more so than usual. We were standing in line to pay a Comcast bill that was due on that very day. The person in front of me was staring at Sophia and said, “oh, it must be close to her nap time.” Shows how much she knows. Sophia just woke up. I hoped that maybe it was just her teeth causing the calm before the storm. She currently has four and I can see two more top ones on their way out. No such luck. Thursday I heard sneezing and by Friday the snot flow-eth over. Thursday also marked new milestone. I saw Sophia using walls, as in flat vertical surfaces to navigate the room. Later in the day, Kurt and I both saw her use her Radio Flyer Scoot About to stand up and push it across the room. She’s been pulling herself up and using objects to move around things for quite a while, but it’s always been stationary objects with grippy ledges to hang onto.

She has also experimented with standing unassisted in the past. She stopped trying that for a while and now she’s picking that up again and doing a lot better with it. She can stand for about twenty seconds and then she’ll either grab onto something or do a slow controlled butt crash to the floor. I do mean a controlled crash. She’s a very careful baby. Very gentle too. Except with the cat. She actually pats the cat very softly for an infant/near toddler but she also likes to grab fists full of fur or the occasional ear.

Not-a-nanny captured a picture of me handing seven month old Sophia a weed pretty little flower and even then Sophia took it very carefully and examined it thoroughly.

Careful baby gently taking the flower from my hand

So Friday Sophia was sneezing and snotting all over the place. Yes, she has made snot a verb. She’s a gifted girl, don’t question her. Friday night was lovely. Every hour. Really, every hour. Every FRICKIN’ hour after her bedtime she woke up. Until 3am. She skipped 3am and 5 am. But I’m so greedy I’m not even grateful for the extra sleep the baby sleep tyrant bestowed upon me.

Saturday morning Kurt and I captured some video footage of her Radio Flyer Scoot About milestone. (click on the picture to see the video)

Sophia pushing her Radio Flyer Scoot About

And here she is using the Scoot About properly.

Sophia scooting to mom

Related posts:

Holy Toast Brain Baby

Posted on by

shape sorting cube toyOn Thursday Kurt and I witnessed something amazing. We each had a different take on it, but both recognized it as something worth noting. Sophia has a cube with shapes cut out in which you insert plastic pieces of that shape into the cube. She doesn’t have the certain shapes fit in certain spaces part down yet (at all), but she will open the top of the cube and dump the shapes out and maybe put a couple back in. She has also taken to placing other toys into the cube. This is not the amazing part.

The amazing even happened in the pre-child proofed kitchen. Baby genius butt-scooted across the kitchen and opened the bottom drawer that holds flashlights, batteries, the two pairs of scissors that we can never find when we want them, and my holy toast imprinter. Sophia grabbed the holy toast stamp and butt scooted out of the kitchen and into the living room. She sat there for a moment played with the holy toast stamp, then butt scooted back to the kitchen, put the stamp back in the drawer, and closed the drawer. Kurt was thinking, “oh my god, she remembered where it went.” I was thinking, “Awesome, that kid has no excuse for having a messy room, EVER!!”

holy toast imprinter

The kitchen has since been baby proofed and now every time I need something from a bottom cupboard I forget that I have to push a lever down as I open it and so it doesn’t open for me on the first try. GODDAMNIT!! And as if that isn’t enough, Sophia got back at us for baby proofing the kitchen. She hid my keys. *grumble* Kurt likes to give her my house keys to play with, but doesn’t always retrieve them back from her. Yesterday I had to go hunting for them. It took about half an hour to find them. They were in her shapes cube.

Related posts:

55 Flash Fiction Friday: Family Cat Torture Tradition

Posted on by

She squeaks delighted to see him run under the chairs and beds and giggles when he leaps to high places. She follows him butt-scooting wherever she can. She loves the cat. Too bad the feeling isn’t mutual. He looks up at me as if to say, “Would you keep that damn pink squishy thing AWAY!”

55 Flash Fiction Friday
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.

Related posts:

White sand butt scootin’ water baby

Posted on by

Sophia and I spent the day at the beach. I found an actual white sand beach here in the northwest. No, I’m not telling anyone where it is. There are already too many damn people there and I’m a greedy greedy bitch. I couldn’t find Kurt’s very compact and cheaper-than-mine digital camera, so I didn’t get any pictures, but I will tease you with the details of our adventure because I’m sweet like that.

Sophia LOVED the water. I mean LOVED! She butt scooted all over the shallow water even with waves (small waves) literally splashing her face she kept on going. She leans forward a bit as she scoots so a couple of waves actually put her face under water with her eyes (and mouth) open. That did not phase her one bit. She is a water baby. She chased floating seaweed all over the place and even caught some. I made sure it didn’t go in her mouth, but at one point I looked up to see where we were in relation to our stuff and a giant fist full went straight in. That wasn’t nearly as gross as the cap to the toilet bowl bolt. It was way more salt than she had ever had in her life all at once though. She didn’t try it again. I really wish I had the camera to show a picture of my baby sea cow with a sea salad stuffed mouth.

Related posts:

Page 1 of 212