Tag Archives: Costco

Everybody Gets a Blanket but Me

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Costco had a coupon for a nice fleecy blanket last month. I didn’t really need a new blanket we have several. They’re each several years old but they’re still functional blankets. There was a two-blanket limit for the coupon price. I only bought one. That was a mistake.

I bought a dark chocolate brown color blanket so that it would go with our living room decor. I folded the blanket and kept it on out couch. With the colder temperatures approaching, I could use it while watching TV in the evening. Keeping the blanket convenient was also a mistake.

A few days ago, Kurt said, “I used your blanket.” Uumm ok, whatever. Then he told me he taught Sophia how to build a fort in the toy room using her slide. Oh balls. He of course used the blanket that was downstairs and most convenient. Fantastic. The person who never needs a blanket donated mine to the fort building cause. I don’t think I’ll be getting my blanket back anytime soon.

blanket fort

nablopomo

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Entitled Costco Lady

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Today, for those people who have a life beyond caring for their own children, was the first day this month’s Costco coupons can be used. The first day and last day of the coupons are always crazy days, and some locations are just generally worse than others. I had to go to a different Costco from my usual today. I didn’t like having to go to a different one and entitled lady didn’t help.

I drove up the parking isle in search of a spot. I was heading in the direction of the entrance and my passenger pointed out a spot up front in the isle to my left. I turned and there was a van stopped in what would be my lane if it were a road, so after the oncoming car passed I went around the van. I took a left to enter the isle and then began to turn right to enter the newly vacated first parking spot.

A woman ran up past the right side of the car and jumped into the spot. She waved her arms smiling and indicated that she wanted the spot into which I had already began to turn. I shook my head and kept moving forward. Now upset, she shouted that she needed the spot for her disabled father right behind me. I glared with incredulous anger. Are you fucking kidding me? If you need a special spot, park in the ones labeled as such. It’s called handicapped parking. They’re all over the place and they’re usually empty.

I kept moving forward. I’m in a car. She relented and moved aside, but stood by my door. My passenger hung her handicap tag on the mirror of my car. She didn’t need to as I was in regular parking, but she thought it would help make the self-important woman leave. I got out of the car ready to be yelled at by the crazy lady. “I need this spot for my disabled father!” The woman yelled at me as I watched a car three stalls down back out. Bitch, you’re at warehouse store but your father can’t walk just three more car stalls?

I looked her straight in the eye and snapped back with clenched fists and furled eyebrows, “It’s first-come first-serve lady!” She backed away still angry and grumbled something about, “It’s people like you…this society…blah blah.”

I wish I had the presence of mind to answer back, “Yes it is, but it’s still my parking spot.” I went around the car to retrieve my infant son and saw that he was sleeping. My passenger didn’t want to go near the psycho lady who was with her father and waiting at the Costco entrance. I had to go to the bathroom so I left my friend and child at the car. I passed the lady on the way in and again on the way back out.

My friend was hungry so the three of us went to the Costco food line and saw that Miss Spit-fire was trying to wrangle up a motorized Costco cart for her disabled father. Her father, who not only walked up to the entrance from his further-than-mine parking spot but had been standing at the entrance since I passed him on my way to the bathroom.

We got our food and they got their cart and finally went in. About the same time we finished our food the entitled lady and her father both walked out of the Costco and to their vehicle. He walked. On his own. My friend and speculated that this lady doesn’t visit her father very often, feels guilty about it, and is over compensating. Sanctimonious bitch.

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The Evolution of Chicken

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We have had a very hard time getting Sophia to eat. From the very beginning, solid food has been a struggle. For the longest time all she would eat was rice, breads, cheeses, oatmeal, apples, bananas, sweet potato prepared a very specific way, French fries and bacon. There was a time in which I could sneak grated veggies into her breads. Sadly, that time has passed.

Because bacon was the only meat she would eat and not a terribly healthy one at that, I didn’t mind when Kurt introduced her to chicken nuggets. I never thought I would view chicken nuggets as a victory. Never. After a while Sophia branched out and would eat chicken at home when I breaded it with Panko. That was a much greater victory for me since I don’t fry the chicken. Eventually Sophia progressed to eating chicken without a crunchy cover and then… one day…

I went to Costco and bought one of their yummy Kirkland Signature foods. I warmed it up and set it at the table. Kurt announced to Sophia that it was chicken. It wasn’t. Not even close. It was smoked pulled pork, and Sophia likes it A LOT. Of course now we call all meat chicken just to increase the odds of it’s edibility and when Kurt wants to know what’s for dinner I have to specify the type of chicken that I’m serving. It’s pork chicken.

Costco Kirkland smoked pulled pork

nablopomo

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Fuzzy Food Memory

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Even when I’m not pregnant I have a super sensitive nose and for years now I’ve forbade Kurt from eating anything with garlic when he goes out to eat. It can be as benign as marinara sauce and I’ll make him keep his distance. If it’s something that may as well be listed simply as garlic on the menu – forget it. Kurt doesn’t even have a chance to close the front door before I say, “OHMYGOD whatever that was don’t ever eat it again!” I remember one day while pregnant with Lukas I actually pushed him away and said, “Get away from me. You stink.”

I don’t know why for sure but I’m guessing it has to do with my use of fresh garlic verses I would assume powdered garlic from restaurants. All I know is that when I add garlic to something it just doesn’t affect him that badly. I’ve told him this repeatedly, and repeatedly when he has seen me add garlic he’ll tell me it’s my own fault if he smells. It’s worse than trying to get Sophia to remember to use her polite words when she wants something. I think it has finally gotten to the point where I can just glare at him and he’ll suddenly remember the nearly twelve years of me informing him that it’s only really bad when he goes out to eat.

Parmesan and herb pankoLast week I bought a box of parmesan and herb panko for the first time and I also purchased some thin cut chicken breasts for- Da Dada Daa! – breaded chicken. Kurt opened the pantry and saw all the panko I had…a huge unopened box of plain panko from Costco, a small opened box of plain panko from a store that sells things in non-Costco sizes, and the newly purchased herb panko. Even though the boxes were different, he didn’t notice that there were two flavors of panko. We had a long conversation about why there was so much panko populating the pantry. That night we ate Parmesan and herb panko breaded chicken. It was good and I didn’t have to add anything extra to flavor the chicken. All the flavor was in the panko and I didn’t have to work any harder to create it. It wasn’t super magical tasting but it was good.

A week later Kurt is snooping around the pantry again and he says, “Parmesan and herb panko? You never use that do you?” Which one of us is sleep deprived? Sometimes I wonder why I even bother talking to him. And then he gets mad when he asks me what’s for dinner and I answer, “Food”. What difference does it make? He’s not going to remember ever having it anyway. I glared at him. “Oh yes you do use it, and it was fantastic!” He said not remembering at all.

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Sometimes Slow to Process

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I don’t remember when I started making my own sauces from scratch but I know it’s been over a year. After making a few batches of enchilada sauce and mole negro with a blender I finally figured out why so many people keep a blender and a food processor in their kitchen. Not that I know a lot of people making their own sauces from scratch but in doing so myself I figured out each machine has its strengths and weaknesses.

So I set out to find a good food processor. Once I found on that I liked I could have simply bought it. It wasn’t a budget crasher for us, but instead I simply added it to my Amazon universal Christmas wish list. I never received it, and I never bothered to buy it myself. I simply dealt with the blender. Now the model I chose a year ago isn’t sold at the store I found it in anymore, so a week ago I found another one I liked at Costco (Cuisinart® PowerPrep Plus® 14 Cup Food Processor) and pointed out to Kurt how useful it would be to have it. This one has a much higher capacity, which is an important factor for me since I make my sauces in large batches and freeze them in dinner size portions. He made the joke that he just bought me a house so I get nothing this year. I should really consider having him sign something after each time he makes statements like that. It’ll make for a much smoother divorce. The new house is so mine!

Yesterday I carved up the pumpkin that Sophia and I picked out last week at a playgroup field trip to the pumpkin patch. It was specifically selected as a pie pumpkin, so I cut it into sections, put it in the oven, and scooped out the pulp. Knowing that my blender would not function properly for the task of turning pulp into puree I then went through the arduous process of pressing it through a strainer. It took forever. I did most of it before Kurt came home but kept taking breaks to do laundry. When Kurt came home from work and saw my pumpkin puree process he said, “You know, I think that’s what people use food processors for.” He’s a genius.

“You know, if I had a food processor I would use it.”

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The Lemon Juice Test

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I had a very stuffed up nose a couple weeks ago. I chalked it up to a cedar allergy since Kurt and I had been working in the yard that weekend. I was clearing all the cedar crap that has fallen in the last uumm six years. I don’t normally have any sort of allergy problem but this was the fourth time this year I had a “cold” but wasn’t really sick. All I had was a serial sneezes and a stuffy nose. This last time the stuffy nose just never went away. I was a mouth breather for quite a while. I even tried using a Neti Pot, which I imagine feels similar to water boarding. I kept sneezing and my sinuses clogged right up again within minutes.

A few friends on FaceBook told me that the Neti Pot only works after multiple times and was encouraged to give it another go. Kurt told me the Neti Pot only works when secrets are shouted out like, “Osama is in the cave!” I tried the second time and it merely resulted in my sneezing salt water until I couldn’t breathe, again. Is there a way to convert FaceBook friends to an enemy list?

I later learned that I am pregnant, and pregnancy hormones can cause mucus membranes to swell. It’s likely that my pregnancy made me more sensitive to the allergens and just made the whole thing a more miserable experience.

I was pretty sure I was pregnant without even taking a test. I wasn’t even very late. I mean I’ve gone longer between cycles without being pregnant or even thinking that it was a possibility. Why was I so sure *this* time? Lemon Juice. There simply wasn’t enough citrus in the house. I didn’t have any food cravings quite so early with my pregnancy with Sophia, and nothing quite so intense. At first I squeezed some lime juice on snacks that I normally eat with added citrus and salt, but that wasn’t enough. I soon ran out of real limes and had to switch to bottled “Real Lemon Juice”. I didn’t dilute it, unless adding salt is considered diluting, I simply poured it into a glass and drank it.

I looked up food cravings and found that only about ten percent of preggos share my mouth-puckering craving, and another site suggested, “adding a little lemon juice to fish in order to satiate the craving”. Clearly they don’t understand the meaning of “craving”, but Costco certainly does. Only Costco knows that one 48-ounce bottle of lemon juice just might not be enough, so they sell them in sets. I finished the first bottle in about three days and opened the second one. I think I finished about a quarter of it before the craving turned to total revulsion. I may need to throw out that second bottle as just looking at it makes my stomach turn.

Kurt watched in disgust as I downed a few glasses of lemon juice, “That can’t be good for you, do you know how much acid is in that?”

“Yes,” pointing to my glass, “about this much”.

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Flaming party steps bruiser froggy kicks

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I know it looks like I just strung a bunch of unrelated words together to form a title for this post, but they’re related. Trust me. This is how our week has gone from Thursday to today. Pull up a chair. This could take a while. I’ll pour you some tea, or coffee. Do you take sugar? I wasn’t offering that kind of sugar, quit humping my leg.

So it turns out that Sophia didn’t have chickenpox, at least not a full-blown pox break out. I didn’t take her to the doctor or anything. She didn’t have a fever, but she was very sleepy the day I discovered the red dots. I’m sure those weren’t bug bites. I think it was just a couple marks resulting from the pox shot. The three little round dots that I saw (one on her left thigh and two in the diaper area) disappeared within three or four days. All three were red and perfectly round, but none bubbled up like a blister.

Thursday was my mom’s SIXTIETH birthday. We went up to my parent’s house after Kurt got home from work and my dad took us all out for “hibachi-style” Japanese food. I had sushi. Because Mojo talking about spider rolls during the third presidential debate on smarmoofus’ blog made me want some. Actually, I always want sushi.

The last time I went to a hibachi-style restaurant was twenty-five years ago in Hawaii. I was seven. *cringe* Please don’t do the math unless you’re older than I am.

The chef put on a show as usual with this type of place. It was fun to watch, but even more fun was to see Sophia’s reactions to it all. She sat quietly eating the piece of bread I gave her while the chef tossed knives around and tapped the salt shaker each time he used it, but then he added flames, tall flames that gave off a lot of heat. Sophia was wide-eyed and kept looking at me as if to make sure all was ok. The fire went down and the chef went back to tossing an egg into his hat and dicing, mixing, and frying things. Sophia was fine until the second time flames were introduced. That time she freaked out and cried.

Friday we went to a friend’s party and test how late we could visit before the baby turned into a pumpkin. We brought her pack-n-play with us hoping that she might sleep in it. She did sleep at the Misfits Christmas Party of other friends’ nine months ago, or was it a Packers’ party? Either way it didn’t work out this time. We had to leave around eight.

Saturday we visited with our neighbor on their back patio and their dog lured Sophia into walking again. She took three steps towards their little old Lhasa Apso. A little later, she took six steps towards their glider bench. This was the third time I’ve seen her walk and the second for Kurt.

Monday, yes I know I skipped Sunday nothing worth mentioning happened on Sunday, I went to Costco and bought a light winter jacket for when we go to Michigan/Wisconsin for Christmas/New Years. The smallest I could find was 2T. I figured that was close enough and she’ll grow into it anyway. I don’t plan to have her outside a whole lot. I just want her warm going from the car to the house and such. At home, I put it on her. It’s freakin’ HUGE. I told Kurt when he got home and he asked if I took pictures. No. He put it on her again to see for him self, and then called me to see her standing there in the huge jacket. The length of it is down to her knees and the ends of the sleeves are inches past her hands. I popped my head around the kitchen wall to see her start to loose her balance. Instead of bending her knees the way she normally would she bent at the waist, but her feet slipped at the same time and she landed on the hardwood floor right on her forehead. She SHRIEKED and cried. Kurt tried to comfort her, but I had to take her. It took a good five minutes for her to stop crying. After she seemed to calm down, I handed her to Kurt so I could continue cooking, but she started up again. She blamed Kurt for her falling down!

Poor Kurtie felt like shit and apologized profusely to our toddler. She didn’t care. She holds a grudge! I had to put her in her not-a-highchair (booster seat) in the kitchen doorway, and give her Cheerios. Kurt left her alone, but after a few minutes pulled up a chair beside her and asked if he could sit next to her. She kept eating Cheerios. I think that was a snub. She’s one tough cookie! A couple episodes of M*A*S*H and they were buds again.

Today was swimming class and for the first time since the swim session she took at six months, she didn’t curl up in a ball like a little sea otter. She actually kicked in the water. She kicks like a frog. It’s freakin’ cute!

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Picture Perfect Photographer Fiascos

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At Christmas time last year we went to Olan Mills with Kurt’s Mom, Sister, and Niece. It was Kurt’s sister’s Christmas gift to everyone. The pictures all turned out great. The photographer who was also the manager of that particular store took tons of pictures and made sure that we got every family picture combination that we wanted including photos of just Kurt and I with our new baby. I was pleased until it came to the part of picking witch pictures we liked best because not only were they all really good but she kept flipping between them quickly, “which do you like better, number one or number two?” It was like going to an eye exam. I wrote it off as me being sick and groggy though. I mean hell, I even misspelled my own name while signing in! No shit, I was that bad and she still made pictures of me look acceptable – she’s that fucking good!

At Sophia’s six month birthday I went back to Olan Mills without much hesitation. The pictures were phenomenal again. This time I had a clearer head and could pick between number one and two. For most of them I knew what I wanted. She put some photo collages together as examples. I didn’t like the pictures she used on one of them, but liked the collage example itself so I ordered a couple with different photos inserted. It wasn’t until after I paid and was in the car that I noticed she left one of the example collages on my receipt as something I purchased. I went back to have her take it off. She said that she ordered it and I can have it free but she didn’t charge me for it? WTF? Then why was it ordered? She didn’t take it off. I still left, but was irritated. I called another Olan Mills store to verify the price of the collages. A couple weeks later when my pictures came in and I again told her, “look these are $25. I only wanted four of them not five”. She told me they were actually $30 and that I didn’t pay for the fifth one. Really? Then what about that extra $5? She never took off that fifth one. I got it for “free”. I’m still pissed.

A couple weeks ago, I got a flier from the Sears Portrait Studio so today I went there for Sophia’s one year photos. I want to cry. The pictures all suck ass. All of them! The girl took me to the back and asked what sort of background I wanted. I told her I didn’t know, because I didn’t know what they had to offer. Through the whole session she kept the same background. She kept focusing on Sophia’s face, which is fine for some shots, but I had told her this was for her first birthday. I want pictures of my baby’s whole tiny little body too. When she did take a picture of Sophia’s whole body she was so far back, my baby got lost in the background. I purchased three different poses that were only ok. One of the poses was Sophia crying. No, she wasn’t a perfect little subject, but really, what one year old is?

I brought my flier in with me for the session. On the top of the flier it says, “no session fee”. I was charged a fee. They said it was only if I ordered one of their package deals. The flier also said that I could get a portrait CD for as low as $9.99. They said that’s only after the purchase of a $120 CD or a $200 portrait package. The flier said that I could save up to 50% on “personalized collections”. The fine print even said that the savings was based on “individual products sold separately”. Somehow, the four sheets that I did purchase didn’t qualify. The flier said that they could have the portraits ready on the same day. I got that, but before we rejoice, let us have ourselves a little chat about quality.

I can have photos printed up at Costco and have them ready the next day. These are photos I take and send the digital image to Costco. It’s cheap. I can upload photos and pick the number of prints I want of each. I can order 8×10 ($1.49 ea), 5×7 ($0.39 ea), 4×6 (0.17 ea), whatever I want, and these pictures come out GREAT! It’s the same or at least very close to the quality you get from film camera prints. What’s better is that you can even crop the pictures at no extra charge! I could also buy a cheap ass photo printer for about $200 (I’m making it up – I’ve never shopped for one) but then I also have to buy ink and paper and the picture is printed on top of the glossy paper – it looks like crap. Given those two choices, I’ll take Costco without a second thought. So when I ordered my “same day” pictures today from Sears Portrait Studio I was hoping for the Costco quality because I know that just because it’s fast doesn’t mean it’s shit, but I was wrong. Oh so wrong! They used the cheap ass printer. My perfectly porcelain faced baby looks as if she has pink blotches all over her face. And I paid $64.02 for the privilege of all this. Sears Portrait Studio, you’re nothing more than blog fodder and I’m getting my money back as soon as I calm down. You BASTARDS! I’m going back to Olan Mills.

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Failed attempts at planning ahead

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On Sunday November 19th I went to Costco. I knew that my truck tires were bald and required replacement before winter just in case it actually gets cold enough to freeze or something. Costco didn’t carry the size tire I need for my small truck so I ordered some. They told me that the tires would probably be in on Saturday, but that they would call me.

The other thing that Kurt has been pestering me about is a cell phone. Ok fine it comes in handy during emergencies. On Saturday November 25th we went out gift shopping. I was looking for a laptop (gift for myself), and Kurt kept flashing different cell phones at me. I broke down and finally decided that a cell phone isn’t the end of the world and picked a prepaid type without any extra crap. – The store was sold out, so we went to two other stores and same thing. That night I hopped online to buy the phone.

Costco hadn’t called on Saturday so on Sunday we stopped by to get some doggie treats and see what was going on with my tires. The guy that took down my number the previous week had sloppy writing so they couldn’t call to tell me that they only received three of the tires. As we left the store it was snowing and not just a few little flakes that don’t stick – it was actual snow. That night I sent out an email to all my friends saying, “I’m finally as hip as my grandma, I don’t have it in my possession yet, but I finally broke down and got a cell phone. My number will be ***-***-****. I should have the phone by Friday-ish.”

Monday morning I wake up at 7am without power. I know it was seven because I have a laptop. We don’t have a corded phone, so when the power goes out so does the phone. I tried to get online to email work that I would be late but my wireless router also requires power. I went to the kitchen to get the flashlight so that I wouldn’t have to shower in total darkness, and hopped in the shower before all the hot water turned cold. I did all the rest of my normal work morning routine and then went out to wipe all the snow off my truck and get it warmed up. I did take the time to note that I could not see the tracks from Kurt’s car. He leaves for work at five. At 7:30 it was still snowing. I backed out of the driveway, but as soon as I hit the center of the road, I was stuck. If only I had traction.

The neighbor behind my house was in the middle of helping someone that was stuck beside my house (I’m on a corner lot), and came over to help me after pushing the other person. He helped me back into my driveway and let me borrow his phone. All that and it turned out to be a snow day – I didn’t even have to go in.

At 8:30 my power came back on and I open my email to see that one of my 50-something year-old friends replied to my cell phone email with, “Hahaha. As hip as your grandma! Now you need a MySpace page (like me).” I spent the day deleting accounts I no longer use and then added MySpace.

*** Update January 1, 2007 ***

I deleted my myspace.com account. As I expected it just wasn’t my cup of tea. I did find a couple people I never thought I’d get in touch with again, so I don’t think it’s entirely evil. I’m just not interested in the sparkly little comments and it seems a lot like match maker and classmates.com type of sites as in it’s just a place to hook up then promptly loose interest and leave as I did. The biggest difference is that you can change the background other custom things as long as the advertisements aren’t affected. I loved the Borat theme I put on my account, but I’d rather not resort to using a bunch of css hacks to achieve a pseudo personal space. The community aspect of myspace isn’t that appealing either. I don’t usually spend a lot of time with online communities or forums because sticking to the same topic is boring and forums that allow users to wander off topic usually get out of hand and become a drag to the moderators.

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