On Friday, I did more calling and checking into daycares without any further luck. I’ve only had three private home daycare interviews and one at a large daycare facility. The first private home daycare wasn’t even close to my standards. The second one was very clean and nice. The layout was good and plenty of toys for the various ages she cared for, but I didn’t like the person that ran it. It seemed like she took great care of the children but I didn’t like her personality much. She knows everyone in the city and is quite the gossiper.

She had asked me who our pediatrician was and because this seems relevant to her caring for my child, I answered. Well she doesn’t like him or any of his staff. She says none of them are any good if a child has a rare problem. Well duh! They’re FAMILY doctors. That means they know a little bit of everything and if you need a specialist they refer you to one. She also went on about how she’s an expert at diagnosing children before the pediatrician can. She said she was especially good as diagnosing personality problems like ADD and asperger’s syndrome. *eye roll* I understand that as a caregiver she would be observing my child more than say a doctor but in my opinion her limit should be telling me about odd symptoms/behaviors. Because uumm she ain’t a doctor and I don’t want her trying to diagnose my child.

Ms. Gossip Queen asked me if I had visited any other daycares and I told her another provider had referred me to her. She started to talk bad about that person and then stopped herself saying, “oh but she’s my friend I shouldn’t say that about her”. No shit you shouldn’t, especially since your “friend” is the one that referred me. How does this woman get any business if she talks bad about everyone? She asked me what I had thought of the other provider’s place. I told her the lady seemed very nice but I felt the space was small with an awkward layout. I didn’t mention that it also appeared dirty to me, or the fact that there was a child against the wall that seemed to be ignored.

Kurt says the aspects of her personality that I didn’t like doesn’t matter since Sophia will only be there for three months until the large daycare facility calls us around June. I agree with him about that, but the other thing that turned me off about this second place was that there was no separate area for the infants and she cares for children up to twelve years of age. She kept saying how “her girls” (other children in her care), ages nine and twelve would love Sophia. I know I originally wanted the “family” environment but these girls weren’t there for me to meet at the time, so I don’t know them at all. The fact is they aren’t family and I’m not paying children to play with my daughter as if she’s a doll! I’m paying an adult to care for my real life human baby. If I wanted a child to care for my infant, I would personally interview teenagers. That place is simply out of the question.

The third private home daycare was good. I really liked the lady that ran it. She had just moved to a new location and her daycare setup wasn’t complete so it was difficult to evaluate that properly. Unfortunately, she also seemed to want to keep her options open and didn’t want to save an infant spot for me since I don’t need a daycare until March.

I called another large daycare facility that has two different sites that are close enough for me to deal with for the three months that we would need them. I called the closest one first of course. The lady said, “Oh we won’t have an opening for a couple months.” I was excited, “So you’ll have something in March?” “No,” she says, “we won’t have anything until July.” That’s six months not a couple months you stupid bitch! I didn’t say that of course but I was quite frustrated. I called their other site. Nothing until August – I just can’t win. They have another site that will be opening nearby in “the spring of 2008”. I called their main office to find out what month of “spring 2008” they mean. I had to leave a message and haven’t heard back from them yet. *GGRRrrr*

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Kurt and I went to visit a large daycare facility. I loved it. All employees have to go through a background check, and all are trained for the age group they work with. It’s a large facility that even has a special outdoor play area for infants only. Each infant has a space in the refrigerator for their food, so I’ll be able to have breast milk stored there for Sophia. Each infant gets their own crib and all the cribs look like they’re in good condition (none of them are metal cribs with witch paint like some of the ones at the other place). There are four infants per caregiver and the infants stay with the same two primary caregivers until they move to the toddler group. The lady giving us the tour said that the transition from the infant rooms to the toddler area is the toughest because they’re moving to an environment where everybody is mobile and it’s a little more noisy, but that sometimes more than one baby is moving from the same infant group to the toddler group, which makes it easier on them. That didn’t bother me at all, because at least everyone will be her same age and we weren’t being told to make our house noisier so that she’ll get used to it for daycare.

We were their during regular business hours and so we got to view the caregivers in their natural environment. We didn’t get to go into any of the rooms, but we could view the animals from the hall though the large windows. All four infant rooms were relatively quiet. one of the rooms had the lights out while three of the four infants slept. The sole awake infant was happily bouncing in a “stationary entertainer” (think baby walker minus the wheels). Everything looked relatively clean and the toddler room even had sinks for hand washing at toddler height. The lady giving us the tour said that the kids all eat at a table in a family style setting (all the kids within one room, not ALL the kids) and they learn to use utensils and pass plates down the table. The preschoolers learn preschool stuff like the alphabet. As we went down the hallway for the preschoolers, one group was playing in the hall. The halls serve as the indoor play areas, whereas the rooms are for crafts, learning, etc. Some of the kids played independently, others played together and three of the girls sat around one of the caregivers as she braided their hair. I didn’t see a single kid sulking in a corner.

Kurt will be close enough to go see the baby at lunch time if he wants. I’m so excited about this place, but apparently I’m not the only one that thinks it’s great despite the significantly higher cost. They have a waiting list. Sophia may not get in until she’s nine months old, and I have to go back to work three months prior to that. We put Sophia on the list just so we aren’t further down the list when the time comes. So I still need to find temporary daycare. *sigh* I honestly didn’t think that I would like the large daycare corporation type of place, but it felt so much more comfortable there than the home daycare I saw. I know the one home daycare I saw doesn’t represent them all. The place we visited today might not feel like family but one bonus is that the transition to school won’t be as dramatic.

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Friday I had an appointment to check out a possible daycare provider for when I go back to work in March. I thought that I would want a small in home type of daycare, but the one I went to see today has me rethinking it all. I wanted a in home type because I felt like it would be more like staying with extended family or something. The owner seemed nice and the two people working for her also very nice. The daycare space was a converted two car garage that they put a small kitchen and bathroom into. The older kids and infants were separated, which was a plus. There was a separate sleeping space with five cribs for the babies that gave me the creeps. The cribs were pretty old rickety cheap things that looked like baby cages. All of the separate rooms left very little area for the kids to play in considering the number of children. Even if she had a yard for them to play in, which I didn’t ask about, with the weather around here there aren’t many pleasant outdoor days.

When I first walked into the door three little girls came up to me to see the baby. I didn’t really want them so close to my baby especially since one of them had a runny nose. The daycare owner told that girl to go wipe her nose and for the others to go play, which they did. The daycare owner asked me to have a seat. I didn’t really want to interview her there. It was so loud with so many kids in a small area. I sat anyway. She went away to get something and I suddenly found myself surrounded by the girls again and they were petting my child’s face before I could say anything. And what do I say? How do I politely tell three otherwise well behaved children that I don’t want them touching my kid? I haven’t really been around so many kids before (as an adult). I don’t know how to deal with other people’s children and don’t really want to deal with them at all. Besides, Sophia was smiling at them and seemed to enjoy the attention. I felt cornered and found myself pushing one of the girls hands away. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. The daycare owner again told the girls to go play and also added that I may not want them to touch my baby. – Ugg she saw.

She gave a little bit of background of her business and her own background. She also gave advice about what to look for in a daycare. I liked her approach, but her overall place just didn’t sit well with me. She kept saying that the place was a mess, but that it was a daycare. She advised me that if a place was too dirty it wasn’t good, but if a place was too clean I should be concerned about what the kids are allowed to do. That makes sense. Cleanliness really wasn’t the issue I had with the place though, but the fact that she repeated that several times through my visit did bother me. She made sure to ask each child if they had washed their hands as they came out of the bathroom. I’m glad that she did, but wonder if it was only for my benefit after seeing my reaction or if she always did that.

She was very upfront with her reverences and said that any quality daycare provider should offer them without being asked. Later she admitted that one of her references was her own daughter. *eye roll* She kept asking me if I had any questions for her, and I did ask some, but I think Kurt was right when he said to just let them do the talking. She did ramble on saying things she maybe wouldn’t have had I bombarded her with questions like Kurt said. I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t bring my list and that the majority of my questions flew out of my head upon entering her place.

Of all the things I observed I think what really struck me is the one shy child that just sat there the whole time and never once made a peep. When I asked questions about how long the older children had been in her care she mentioned them all except for this one. She also didn’t mention the child when introducing me to all the others.

The whole experience plus just the idea of leaving my baby with a stranger scared the living shit out of me. I was so shaken by it all I had to call up a friend and go visit. I just needed to be out of the house and keep myself from being alone with my thoughts. Thanks for being there for me.

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