Mars and Venus Collide

Kurt has been busy coordinating with various contractors to get a few things done around the house. We’ve had a Drywaller in to fix some settling cracks, and had someone come in to install a fence and gate in the front. We need someone to pressure wash the roof and clean the gutters. We’re also looking to hire someone to paint the place. He of course gets frustrated when the places he’s trying to get a quote from won’t call back or once they’ve been here to give a quote it’s impossible to secure a date to do the work or whatever, so on a couple of occasions I’ve offered to take over that job for him, “No I’ll take care of it.” He says.

“Ok fine, but don’t have them call here to set up the day and time. Just set it yourself and know that Tuesdays are bad if they need me to be present in order to do the work.”

It’s a rainy Sunday night…And it’ll be another rainy day Monday. Hhmm what shall I do with the kids all day Monday? Looking at Facebook I notice a friend went to a Children’s museum that I haven’t been to yet. Oh, that looks like fun. I’ll take the kids there and check it out. I begin to plan my Monday in my head. I figured out what time I should aim leave the house so that Sophia can play at the museum for enough time before lunch, then we can eat out, and head home. I excitedly tell Kurt that I’m going to a different kid’s place. He heard me and knew I was wired about finding somewhere to go, something different to do on a rainy day.

We’ve had way too many rainy days this year and there aren’t a lot of clean indoor kid’s play areas. There are plenty of nasty indoor places attached to various McDonalds’ “restaurants”. It’s not the fact that it’s attached to a McDonalds that turns me off, although that really doesn’t help. I’ve had to retrieve Sophia from one of their many hamster trails for mini humans and I never ever want to have to do that again. Never.

Kurt goes upstairs for a while and then comes back downstairs just before heading to bed. “The pressure washers will be here tomorrow morning.” He says.

“Tomorrow morning?!” I was angry. How could he just sit there and listen to me get all happy that I’ve found a place to go while mother nature continues to rain on the spring parade and not tell me the person is coming to pressure wash the roof until the last minute. Surely, he has known since at least Friday!

From Kurt’s point of view: Shit! Why the hell is she angry at me this time? I can’t get anything right. She told me to make the appointments so I did and now she’s pissed. I wish she’d make her damn mind up. Talk about zero to bitch in sixty seconds. *heavy sigh* I guess asking if she wants to go upstairs is out of the question tonight.

Monday morning rolls in. I couldn’t remember if Kurt told me they were supposed to be here at nine or nine thirty, so I wait. I still had hopes of leaving the house. Nine thirty arrives but the pressure washers have not. Lukas is sleepy so I lay him down for a nap. I was hoping to be out of the house by this time so that Lukas could sleep in the car.

It’s now ten. Even if Kurt had said nine thirty, they’re still a half hour late. I send Kurt an email, “Are you sure it was supposed to be today?” The person who installed the fence was a whole week late, and that was the excuse given. He said that Kurt got the date mixed up. Somehow I doubt that, but on this day I was still irritated, so I entertained the idea. At ten thirty they arrived and I emailed Kurt to let him know. Because Kurt didn’t get to his email he called me at eleven to see If they were there yet. In our conversation he says, “I think he picked us up last minute.”

“Huh? Why is that?”

“Well he just called me on my cell Sunday night to see if today was ok.”

“He just called you Sunday night? I thought you knew since Friday and just didn’t tell me.”

“Oh, is that why you were mad?”

And that is why cellphones are from hell.

Oh and Lukas, the little shit who never ever sleeps, slept until 11:30. We did go to the Children’s Museum and Sophia eventually had fun there and like a normal child didn’t want to leave.

Related posts:

March McDonalds Madness

Kurt’s mom came to visit back in March. Sophia, nearly eighteen months old at the time, was only tolerant of the visit. There were no hugs for Grandma. I think the closest they got to a sweet picture moment was when Grandma sat on the floor playing with Sophia’s mega blocks and Sophia got in the action by handing Grandma the next block slated for use. I wish I had captured the moment but that would mean leaving the room to grab the camera and risking a change in focus from Sophia. I think Grandma enjoyed seeing Sophia play and have fun around her even if she couldn’t hold her, but hopefully she’ll be more social at Christmas time.

We are fast approaching the time of year where activities are best done indoors. Until recently I worried about that because the majority of indoor social activities require either, a long drive, a lot of money, or both. I now have a long list of activities and services to keep us occupied through the winter. The only thing we could think to do back in March when Kurt’s mom was visiting was to go to the McDonalds play land. It was fun to watch Sophia, climb up and up and up, but then it became a problem because when she wanted out she would look down and know that was the way, but continued up.

Let me give the mother’s of newly mobile children a bit of assvice for a moment… You don’t want to send your kid up in the McDonalds gerbil trail unless you’re sure they know how to climb back down again because you’ll NEVER want to go back there EVER again if you have to go through those sewers to retrieve your darling. It’s really fuckin’ gross in there and we were at a rather new McDonalds.

Up the ladder
Down the rabbit hole

The other free place to visit and play is the mall. Sophia loved playing with the shopping cart. We wanted to rent one but couldn’t figure out how much is cost or where to go to rent it. I later learned that it cost five dollars and they keep your credit card until you return the cart. I guess that’ll keep people from spending too much. ;-)

Car shopping, kid style

 November, 30 posts in 30 days nablopomo.com

Related posts:

55 Flash Fiction Friday: Bathing Promotion by Food Chain

I crave it on rare occasion, so Sophia and I shared a meal. Who knew it would promote bathing? The bath time push isn’t an official one therefore no equipment is supplied, but I think the responsibility is implied when certain meals are advertised for children. McDonalds BBQ sauce should come with soap and towel!

Messy BBQ face

Messy BBQ smile

Messy BBQ face

Messy BBQ all over

55 Flash Fiction Friday
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.

Related posts:

Off-color food humor

On Black Friday Kurt and I went out to run some errands one of which was to grab some lunch. We didn’t want to drive far to get something to eat, so our choices were limited. After running through the list and not hearing anything that really struck a chord, Kurt jokingly suggested McDonald’s. “The McRib is back on the menu.” He said in mock cheer. Kurt, as with most people that know me at all fully would expect one of my famous sneers which very clearly convey, “What are you fucking retarded?” That’s not what he got.

I avoid chain restaurants especially ones that have a drive-thru. That doesn’t mean I never get dragged to them or even that I don’t go voluntarily on occasion. I just avoid them. Thanks to their attempts at trying to offer healthy options, I can usually find something to pick at. I sheepishly told Kurt that I actually like the McRib. I know it’s something that most people only confess to their priests, rabbis, or other equivalent. It’s my deep dark secret. I like the McRib, and I ordered one with extra pickles. Apparently, their idea of extra pickles and my idea of extra pickles don’t match up. I think I need to go back and order the way I used to, “I want a cheese burger with extra pickles. No, scratch that. I want a pickle burger with a meat patty and cheese. Yes, I want everything on it. And don’t forget the pickles.”

Sophia had a couple fries, but we brought with us a banana and some bread for her. She can’t finish a whole banana so Kurt and I took turns taking bites of the other half. Each time I took a bite of the yellow phallic symbol Kurt would say, “That’s a girl”. I glared at him. Kurt offered me the last bite and as I leaned in, he took the banana away. “You BANANA tease!”

 November, 30 posts in 30 days nablopomo.com

Related posts:

McDonalds Fries – Contains Everything but Potato

McDonald’s sued for having milk, wheat in fries-WSJ

Sunday February 19, 5:49 PM EST

NEW YORK (Reuters) – McDonald’s Corp. (MCD) faces at least three lawsuits claiming the fast-food giant misled the public after it acknowledged earlier this week its French fries contain milk and wheat ingredients, the Wall Street Journal Online reported on Sunday.

The suits were filed by people with celiac disease, who have an intolerance to a protein found in wheat, the Journal said.

McDonald’s, based in Oak Brook, Illinois, had previously described the flavoring as safe for people with food allergies and other dietary sensitivities, the Journal said.

What what what? McDonalds fries aren’t made with real Idaho potatoes? Ya know McDonalds has been in business for many years and I don’t think the ingredient lists have changed that much over time…it’s still shit and if you’re allergic to crap I suggest you not eat out at all. If you have some rare allergic reaction to every goddamn thing disease it’s up to you to find out what’s in that pre-made food, and don’t ask those poor minimum wage kids behind the counter – they don’t fucking know. I don’t know where anyone would get a full ingredient list for fast food, but if you have the kind of time to do that sort of research you have the time to make your own damn sandwich. Don’t get me started on those people that have sued because McD’s made them fat. Fuckin’ idiots!

Related posts: