Watching a show on luxury yachts, they went over the details of the dining area of a yacht and I said, “two hundred thousand a week and they can’t hire someone to straighten the candle sticks?” Kurt looks at me and says, “Sounds like you’re ready to be rich. You’re a pain in the ass.”
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
“What’s the special occasion?”
Dumbfounded he hesitantly said, “none”.
“I smell aftershave. You only shave on Sunday nights and it’s Wednesday.”
Laughing, “Tomorrow they’re taking pictures. I’m even going to wear my wedding tuxedo.”
“Did your boss tell you to not wear a t-shirt?”
“No, but he asked that I not wear a competitor’s shirt”
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
I received two prepaid postage envelops with the junk mail today. I use them to return junk mail. “Do you have anything you want to send back to Capital One?” I asked waving the envelopes.
“Yeah, I have to take a shit.”
“Ok but I’m going to make you the one to lick the envelope.”
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
“What age did we stipulate for the trust fund?”
“Twenty-five, I remember because we wanted her to live a little before receiving money so she doesn’t just blow it on things like fur necklaces.”
*blink blink blink*
“Fur necklaces? It’s a good thing I’m not into jewelry. You would really suck at picking anything good.”
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The cage was torn down, but invisible walls held her. Soon she realized she could leave at will. She came and went, bringing things back into the once prison. She fell asleep and in the night cried out with discomfort still half-asleep.
I peeked in and took the books and toys out of her bed.
The story behind the 55: As of Wednesday morning Sophia figured out she can leave her toddler bed when she wants. She had toys in her bed that morning, and Wednesday night she must have grabbed some books and toys before falling asleep because she half-woke up in the middle of the night crying with a book corner poking her cheek. Thursday morning I opened her door and caught a glimpse of her climbing back into her bed, which already had toys on it again. Silly kid thinks she’s all sneaky. 
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
In January’s consumer reports, my husband read that none of Honda’s vehicles rate well for road noise reduction. I noticed that in our Civic, but I tell you what it does a hell of a job blocking toddler screams. It reduced that noise at least 80% and I didn’t even mind standing in the rain.
The story behind the 55: A month or month and a half ago Kurt read the Honda ratings to me from Consumer Reports and a couple days later I thought of it when Sophia pitched a fit while I tried to get her in her car seat. I finally got her strapped down and then closed the door. I noticed a huge reduction in noise. Standing in the parking lot of a store, I just relaxed out in the rain for a minute before getting in.
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
Wordless Wednesday: I stuck!
My mother-in-law called to ask asked, “You know all those internet acronyms like L.O.L., right?”
“Yes I do.”
“Well, a friend of mine got a message and wants to know what M.I.L.F is.”
I about died laughing. Unsure of laughter as a response she asked, “Is it a complement?” She was shocked by the answer.
The story behind the 55: My mother-in-law really did ask me this on behalf of a friend of hers. Yes, dear you’re now blog fodder. *hugs* Love you! Happy birthday yesterday. 
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
