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Kurt had both kids on his lap. Sophia watched the music videos he found on YouTube and he had Lukas movin’ to the music. One of those videos was Thriller. Kurt did the right thing and stopped it at a point and explained that it might be scary, but Sophia insisted that she wanted to watch, “Scary puppy.” That kid ain’t scared of nothin’.

On Friday we had a couple people over to repair a couple places on our floors where the wood had expanded too much and buckled up. We watch Holmes on Homes all the time so I didn’t have to explain very much to Sophia, just that they were there to fix the floors.

“They are breaking the floors. Then they fix the floors.” She said to me.

“Yep.”

“They are breaking floors with nails. Then they fixing floors with nails so scary puppy don’t get in, so no animals get in.” I think she thought the crow bar was a big nail.

“No, no scary puppies will get in.” I don’t think she was actually scared of werewolf coming in our house, but I thought I’d reassure her anyway. We must have recently watched an episode of Holmes on Homes where there was an animal infestation. Or maybe it wasn’t so recent, the memory this kid has is unbelievable.

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Also starting at about that age, anytime I pick him up because he’s been crying, or just needs to be comforted he reaches up and holds the braid I keep my hair in. Usually he’s reaching across the front of my neck to reach my braid because I hold him on my left side, but for some reason my braid is always on the right side.

At ten months, the Silly Lukas Monkey finally became mobile. He’s a butt scooter just like his sister was. I’d say it doesn’t get much more silly than that except a couple days ago I saw him putting the coins from Sophia’s toy cash register on his head for the sole purpose of letting it slide back off and then laughing about it like he just invented gravity himself.

Today the silly monkey spent about thirty to forty-five minutes tossing the orange ring from the graduated ring stack toy. I’m fairly certain his goal was to make the ring roll on the floor because on the occasions he was able to do it he laughed and smiled. I told Kurt and I don’t think he really believed me. He watched Lukas for a few minutes, then saw what I was talking about, and exchanged that knowing look. We have another one of those. The drive and tenacity separate our monkeys from the rest. I’m doomed. I’m pretty sure with each child my brain shrinks and I’m equally sure the older monkey knows this.

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I thought making the decision would be the hardest part, but after leaving the dog at the vet Sophia kept asking me, “Were shan?”. I didn’t know how to answer her. From what I understand, in general, children at her age don’t understand the permanence of death, so I had no idea what to say. I didn’t want to tell her Chelan went to sleep and then have her freak out when I try to take a nap or something, so I did the major cop-out. I told her that Chelan was staying at the vet’s office because she’s sick.

Four months later, November 2010, I took our cat Bailey to the vet for a routine exam and shots. Not thinking about what I had said about Chelan I told her that Bailey had to see the doctor. “No! Sah-phia’s cat!” She protested.

I wonder if she still remembers that. When I took Bailey to the vet recently to get his teeth fixed I thought of that every time she asked me, “Where’s Bailey?”

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Here’s a chance to see how well you really know your wife/fiance/girlfriend or husband/fiance/boyfriend. Cut, paste and fill in the answers, then forward . . . shoot, you know what to do. The real challenge is to send it to your significant other to see how right you really are.

1. They’re sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
   History Channel – stuff about WWII/Hitler/Guns/Swords
   Kurt will sit there and argue with the TV about getting the facts wrong.
2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing do they get on their salad?
   Kurt doesn’t usually waste space on rabbit food especially if we’re at a buffet (we usually only do buffets in Vegas). But if he did have salad it’s usually a Caesar.
3. What’s one food they don’t like?
   I think it would be easier to list what he does like. Kurt can’t handle spice and doesn’t like it when I get all ethnic and make Menudo (it’s a soup not a band of perpetually young boys). He also doesn’t like tomatoes – it’s a texture thing. He will eat salsa, tomato sauce and tomato soup.
4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What do they order?
   Non-alcoholic: he gets a Pepsi or Coke if they don’t have Pepsi.
   Alcoholic: Jack and Coke or some soft of amber beer on tap
5. Where did they go to high school?
   *name of small town* Michigan
6. What size shoe does (s)he wear?
   I donno. I don’t buy his shoes.
7. What is their favorite type of sandwich?
   I donno. I try not to pay attention to what he eats when we’re out. The nasty greasy things he orders make me twitch.
8. What would this person eat every day if they could?
   Pizza and or lasagna
9. What is their favorite cereal?
   Chocolate Rice Krispies, or Coco Puffs, or Peanut Butter Captain Crunch. All the nasty ‘kids’ cereals that I don’t really want to serve Sophia but will someday have to cause her dad has it. *grumble*
10. What would they never wear?
    Kurt will wear anything. I have pictures of him in a dress. Seriously.
11. What is their favorite sports team?
    Kurt watches motor cycle racing. He likes Valentino Rossi (so do I but for different reasons from Kurt…I hope, the man did wear a dress after all.), Eric Bostrom, and Nicky Hayden.
12. Who did they vote for?
    Obama of course
13. Who is their best friend?
    Do guys do the whole ‘best friend’ thing? Gah – I guess it would have to be his high school buddy Jeremy.
14. What is something you do that they wishes you wouldn’t do?
    Obsess over the crap that’s put into packaged food.
15. What is their heritage?
    Danish
16. You bake them a cake for their birthday; what kind of cake?
    If I’m making it, it’s going to be carrot cake. I have no idea what his favorite is, probably chocolate. I’m horrible aren’t I?
17. Did they play sports in High School?
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you’re fuckin’ funny. Kurt was in band. He played the French horn.
18. What could they spend hours doing?
    Playing City of Heroes
19. What is one unique talent that they have?
    He can bend his fingers and touch the back of his hand. It’s really gross.

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I’ve been tagged with this three times in two days, so I guess I’ll give it a shot.

Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1. I’m a huge geek
2. My dad taught me binary when I was five.
3. When I was five I would sit for HOURS typing in zeros and ones in order to get a program to work on a machine that only had RAM (no hard drive). If I made a mistake, I had to start all over again.
4. I have almost nothing in common with my mother.
5. There were four blissful years where my mother didn’t even know where I lived.
6. If there had been a creative spelling class in high school, I would have aced it in ways no one else could. Spell-check is like a godsend for me.
7. I wish I had been related to George Carlin.
8. I’m an only child.
9. I wish I had siblings.
10. I love to clean, but this doesn’t mean I judge people who don’t keep their house tidy. Like most people, I’m more comfortable in a healthy clean as opposed to a sterile clean environment.
11. My grandpa taught me how to play cribbage.
12. I double skunked my grandpa at age seven. He said, “Damn it I taught you too well.” He was not one to let someone win, just because.
13. I was born and raised in Alaska and I miss it there, but I know it’s because I miss the nostalgic childhood stuff about it not because I want to live where winter weather is twenty below zero without wind-chill.
14. I’m a frickin’ lizard, I don’t do well in cold climates.
15. I was always in the lowest level reading classes in school.
16. I have a very hard time getting ‘into’ a book.
17. I didn’t discover the joy of reading until I was 16-ish when I discovered true crime books, specifically serial killer books.
18. I would have discovered serial killer books when I was ten but the librarian who was also a nun nearly shit herself when I asked for a book about Jack the Ripper. She said they didn’t have any. I’m pretty sure she lied. Bitch.
19. I sneer when I hear stupid shit.
20. I sneer A LOT.
21. I can’t lie. I can withhold truth, but cannot actually lie. So I haven’t bothered trying since I was a kid (about 14).
22. I don’t dream very often, maybe once a year.
23. I dwell on things A LOT.
24. I have a very good memory especially for things I hear.
25. I ace lecture classes, unless the teacher is a total ass hat and doesn’t test on the lectures.
26. I curse A LOT.
27. I don’t follow rules that I think are stupid hence, I’m on number 27 and won’t be sending this to 25 people. Deal with it. That’s right, I’m a rebel. I’m a wild woman. Can’t hold me back now. Ok, I’m done.

About number 6, now that my daughter is in preschool and I’ve had the pleasure of seeing how people in the real world are spelling the names of the children the supposedly love, I’m not so sure I would have aced a creative spelling class. I honestly would have never come up with an apostrophe in the middle of a name.

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Herb-Roasted Turkey Breast

• 1 whole bone-in turkey breast, 6 1/2 to 7 pounds
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic (3 cloves)
• 2 teaspoons dry mustard
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary leaves
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh sage leaves
• 1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 2 tablespoons good olive oil
• 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 1 cup dry white wine

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Place the turkey breast, skin side up, on a rack in a roasting pan.

In a small bowl, combine the garlic, mustard, herbs, salt, pepper, olive oil, and lemon juice to make a paste. Loosen the skin from the meat gently with your fingers and smear half of the paste directly on the meat. Spread the remaining paste evenly on the skin. Pour the wine into the bottom of the roasting pan.

Roast the turkey for 1 3/4 to 2 hours, until the skin is golden brown and an instant-read thermometer registers 165 degrees F when inserted into the thickest and meatiest areas of the breast. (I test in several places.) If the skin is over-browning, cover the breast loosely with aluminum foil. When the turkey is done, cover with foil and allow it to rest at room temperature for 15 minutes. Slice and serve with the pan juices spooned over the turkey.

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