Today Sophia and I went to the mall so she could play with the other toddling midgets. I left our umbrella stroller at the end of a stroller line up. Her diaper bag was in the seat and her Old Navy white fleecy jacket with blue hearts hung on the stroller handle. The play area isn’t that big so I was confident that I could keep an eye on our stuff as Sophia ran all over the place, besides what sick bastard steals stuff out of a diaper bag from a baby? I took off Sophia’s socks and shoes because it seems to be the rule in this play area and she takes off with them in her hands. I follow her and look up at our stroller every thirty seconds because I’m a paranoid freak. Piece by piece Sophia relinquishes her socks and shoes to me. I keep them in my pocket because the stroller I’ve been monitoring is over there. *points to the stroller with the white jacket on the handle*
Sophia makes her way over to where our stroller is parked and plays on the large plastic covered foamy toy nearby. I dropped off her shoes in the diaper bag and round to the other side I of the play area she went. I followed.
I looked up from my toddling midget watching to check on the stroller. Someone was blocking my view. As the woman passed by I noticed Sophia’s jacket was no longer on the stroller handle. I scooped up my toddling midget and walked over to a lady zipping her FOUR YEAR OLD child into Sophia’s eighteen month old toddler jacket. Right in front of this woman, as in five inches from her face, was her own umbrella stroller with her daughter’s jacket in the seat. “Excuse me, is that my jacket?” I politely asked. Roughly translated I meant, “Hey dumb ass, are you fucking blind? Can’t you see that jacket is busting at the seems. It clearly doesn’t belong to your child.” I know kids grow fast, but seriously growing three sizes in a couple hours is pretty fuckin’ rare, like it doesn’t happen at all. Ever! I don’t care if the kid has a pituitary gland problem. They simply don’t grow THAT fast.
I didn’t get a chance to see the expression on her face after I nudged her to examine the mistake as I was off chasing after my toddling midget who headed out of the play area entirely and round the corner. I heard her say to the other person with her, “They have the same jacket.” I retrieved my meandering offspring and the lady handed me Sophia’s jacket. “Oh I’m so sorry” she said.
I know that in daycares and kindergarten classrooms where kids are all about the same age and size that jackets and other belongings sometimes get lost, switched, or whatever. I remember it happening to me as a kid. But this woman clearly didn’t look in her own stroller before grabbing Sophia’s jacket, and then she failed to notice the extreme size difference even after zipping it up. I have no clue how she even managed to zip up a jacket three sizes too small. The sleeves stretched to their limit only came part way down the child’s forearm, just past the elbow really. Now I would understand if she had to manage more then one child, but she only had the one with her and there was another person standing to the side, the child’s grandma perhaps.
The mom put on the child’s rightful jacket on her. It was baggy. What do you think? Did she do it on purpose or was it an honest mistake? If you cannot comprehend why someone would want to steal a jacket that is too small, I smile at your naivety and offer you two words, store credit.
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