In trying to help a friend with her problem I boldly asked, “Has he ever considered sperm donation?”
“He would if he could. He’s had a vasectomy.”
“They can reverse those you know. If he donated sperm it would help his political career…When asked how much he donates to charitable causes he can say, ‘billions’.”
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man.
I must start by saying that the neither original email nor person that sent it offends me. I totally understand not wanting people illegally living within our borders to receive benefits–especially benefits that are already in jeopardy for its own citizens. Fortunately, the email is a false alarm. I privately sent the link to the corresponding Snopes article to my friend. Here is the original email sent out that started my email debate with a total stranger:
SOCIAL SECURITY CHANGES
It does not matter if you personally like or dislike Obama. You need to sign this petition and flood his e-mail box with e-mails that tell him that, even if the House passes this bill, he needs to veto it. It is already impossible to live on Social Security alone. If the government gives benefits to ‘illegal’ aliens who have never contributed, where does that leave those of us who have paid into Social Security all our working lives?
As stated below, the Senate voted this week to allow ‘illegal’ aliens access to Social Security benefits.
Attached is an opportunity to sign a petition that requires citizenship for eligibility to that social service.
Instructions are below. If you don’t forward the petition and just stop it, we will lose all these names.
If you do not want to sign it, please just forward it to everyone you know.
Thank you!
To add your name, click on ‘forward’.
Address it to all of your email correspondents, add your name to the list and send it on.
When the petition hits 1,000, send it to comment@whitehouse.gov
PETITION for President Obama:
Dear Mr. President:
We, the undersigned, protest the bill that the Senate voted on recently which would allow illegal aliens to access our Social Security. We demand that you and all Congressional representatives require citizenship as a pre-requisite for social services in the United States.
We further demand that there not be any amnesty given to illegal aliens, NO free services, no funding, no payments to and for illegal immigrants.
Hours after receiving this email from a friend I received a response from someone I didn’t know. I should have deleted the email but I read it, so I felt compelled to respond. Email from a total stranger:
Hey Guys~~ ALWAYS check any of this kind of junk out on
before you get all upset and send it out for a thousand signatures. The place to send anything political like this is directly to your representatives in Congress, and you can find their names at . After you figure out the site and copy or write your beef, I always pay the extra little bit by credit card to have it HAND-DELIVERED to whomever!! It can also just be sent by e-mail from there and it’s free, but they get millions of those, so the hand-delivered ones have more clout. I can’t remember how much it costs, but it isn’t terrible, and you just do it through a credit card. Then I also write myself a note and stick it up by my computer, so when I see a weird charge on my credit card statement, I’ll remember what it is!! However, yes, I agree, the illegal aliens are over-running our country into the millions of people and a new baby every year, yet they don’t even bother to learn English or even TRY to become citizens. I am in Gulf Shores, AL, now yet for the winter (it’s great down here!), and, some days in WalMart, I think I’m in Mexico. There are Mexicans all over the place and all speaking their native gobbledegook Spanish. very cute, very nice, but also VERY illegal. Also, THEY get the jobs that my boyfriend would otherwise be doing, and don’t be fooled by what you hear! They charge just as much for the work as any CITIZEN would charge; they do NOT work cheaper. Yet, they pay NO taxes, get free medical, everything cow-tows to their language, e.g. “press 1 for English”, etc. Exactly WHEN did the operator ever say to our LEGAL ancestors: “Press 2 for Polish, press 3 for German, Press 4 for Italian, etc.” AND, our school budgets have to include BI-LINGUAL teachers to teach these illegals!! We need English declared as the primary language of our country, and we need to press our congress people to send them back to their own countries unless they PROVE they are actively pursuing legalization and residency. MOST of their current papers and documents are FORGED!
This is where you check out Snopes and how useless these signature things are
http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/petition.asp
Thanks for reading my bitch of the day!
Former singles group member~~still single , (with a 10 year boyfriend)
(Signed with her full name and email address)
The first paragraph was fine. Good advice in fact. The second paragraph made my ass twitch. I didn’t know this person and I thought that she was a friend of my friend who had hit ‘reply-all’, so without going into detail about what I found offensive or which parts of her rant were pure bullshit. I responded with:
Before you hit “reply all” on your emails maybe you should check to see if you know all the people on the list. I’m the daughter of a Mexican and I find your rant offensive and brimming with ignorance.
Beaner Hater’s reply back to me (*note in the areas where I quote her all text emphasis is hers.):
I didn’t hit: Reply all. I copied and pasted EXACTLY and sent it back to all the people who had received the first one. And I really don’t give a damn how “offended” you are. IF you are a citizen and IF you have any decency, you should be ASHAMED of the way the Mexicans and have invaded our country!! I have a brother-in-law and nieces and nephews who are Mexican, and only the children are legal, by accident of birth. The fact remains that illegal Mexicans and every other illegal foreigner who is living off OUR money is stealing the food, education, jobs, and housing from people who ARE citizens and who DID learn to speak English. So, wake up and smell the roses, Erica, because the tax-paying citizens of this country are NOT going to put up with FREE-LOADERS any more. We will be having OUR revolution long before your illegals get organized enough to try their revolution. OUR ancestors HAD to become legal, and yours damn well better too!! Stealing is a sin!! And you are probably SUPPOSED to be Catholic, whether you practice it or not! The illegals are STEALING what belong to our citizens! Other Presidents have sent illegal back where they came from, and that just now became my goal~to have Congress and the President get rid of these leeches who refuse to learn English and become citizens. You are NOT any better than our ancestors! THEY did it LEGALLY!! They did not cheat and steal from the citizens and use forged documents!!
*signed her name*
(100% legal American citizen!)
The way she worded the bit about her copying and pasting the email exactly and sending it to all the people that received the first one made me think she took the long route to basically hitting ‘reply all’ so in my reply to her I said it was the same thing. I later learned that I had misunderstood her. One of the people that was forwarded this email by my friend then went on to forward it themselves only this person didn’t remove the list of names and email addresses from the top of the email thus passing my name and email on to be snatched up by a bitter beaner hater. The beaner hater passed on a rant to my friend and all the people to whom she sent the email along with all the people to whom the beaner hater’s friend sent it.
In response to her stating she didn’t care how offended I am I said, “Fair enough”. It let me know that I could take the kid gloves off. She meant what she wrote and was standing behind it all. It also made me think that she sent her rant to people she didn’t know possibly because she saw my email address in which I state my ethnicity in what is regarded as a derogatory manner by some.
To her assertion that I should be, “ASHAMED of the way the Mexicans and have invaded our country” I told her that her ancestors had no more right to the area they occupied anyone seeking a new country to call home now. I also wrote that an illegal foreigner buying food is no more stealing than her buying food, sending kids to public school, or working a job that files papers to the IRS. Just because they don’t speak English doesn’t mean they are illegal. There are plenty of foreigners from other countries that stick within their own group and don’t learn English. And if they’re competing for the same job as her or her boyfriend then it’s probably work ‘under the table’ and she isn’t paying her fair share. Otherwise, papers are being filed and taxes are being paid.
About her revolution comment, I wrote, “I’m shaking in my boots”. About ancestors becoming legal, I wrote that the US has added and changed laws since the influx of European immigrants back in the 1800′s.
I gave her the category which my philosophy falls under, but that I didn’t see the relevance between that and stealing, which is against the law. All religions aside stealing would probably still be against the law.
A lack of citizenship is not always a refusal to become a citizen. The rules have changed. Besides many have work permits or green cards. Those would be the ones that might actually compete for the same jobs, but if they have that they’re considered legal.
Her exclaiming that I’m not any better than ‘our’ ancestors made me think I might be arguing with someone off their meds, but I continued, “Please show me where I stated that I was better than anyone.” In reply to her exclaiming that her ancestors came in legally I said, “They came over on a boat hoping to be let in.”
Though she may have been speaking about her ancestors specifically in saying that they didn’t cheat, steal or use forged documents I opened it up to all immigrants and replied, “Bullshit. Forged documents are not unique to Mexican immigrants nor is it a new concept.”
Beaner Hater then sent me another forwarded email with this to say:
This is an e-mail I received AFTER your recent ignorant response! It should help you realize how universal the disgust is for the freeloaders on our society. This comes from my cousin in California, a state that has also been overtaken by the leeches. So, please feel free to be offended again! Your “feeling offended” simply shows your ignorance of the disgust over our being invaded by people who can’t bother to correct the ills in their own countries, so they bring them all into ours!
*signed her name*
FIFTY YEARS OF MATH:
2009 (in the USA )
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $ 2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters , but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.
Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?3. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as 20 the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s ok. )6. Teaching Math In 2009
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
I wish I had responded to her ignorance in thinking that Mexican’s are the only ones that immigrated instead of bothering to correct the ills in their own countries, but I didn’t. Instead I wrote, “I’m ignorant? I should think that the email you forwarded speaks more to the decline in the US educational system over the last forty years than to immigration. If you knew more than one language, you’d realize that at least in the Spanish version, it returns to math.”
She became very agitated presumably about my assertion that illegal documents are not unique to Mexicans and wrote, “You are obviously too ignorant to waste my time on. My ancestors did it LEGALLY!! Yours are too cheap and ignorant!! LEGAL is the word!!”
She also wrote a paragraph about my choice of life philosophy calling anyone with my same inclination a loser and then telling me again, how ignorant I am. Then she signed off with, “You are too ignorant for me to correspond with any further. I will pray for you though I think you are beyond help!”
I knew that wouldn’t be the end of it though. I emailed her with:
I know you say I’m not worth your time but you still hit reply (or copy and paste then send). Your specific ancestors may have come over legally but others didn’t. And yet we still have Irish, German, Polish and other ethnic groups of people all over the US. Your focus is on Mexicans because they’re the latest influx of foreigners, and our closest neighbor. You see many Mexicans around you and seem to assume that because they’re speaking Spanish that they’re illegal. Did it never occur to you that they’re speaking the language most comfortable to them? If I moved to Spain, Germany, or other non-English speaking country, I would probably speak English to my family and to English-speaking friends, and even to people in public who knew English well enough that we could communicate more effectively in the language with which I’m more comfortable.
I also responded to some of her religious comments but I’m leaving most of it out because I still don’t find them relevant to the original topic. I will say that I ended my email with bait by telling her, “Your belief that I’m beyond help demonstrates a lack of faith” and “frankly, your whole tone isn’t very Christian”. It was a cheap shot but I knew it would keep my new debate playmate in the game.
She sent two replies. The first was mostly her chomping on the bait. She told me how powerful her god is and that he created everything from nothing. She had mentioned this previously and I had replied snarkily that I had co-created a baby. So she now asked how I made the egg and sperm and then ended with, “And yes, my boyfriend works side by side with illegals doing very legal cement-finishing jobs. The illegals are coming out of the woodwork down here! I know the whole game. Like I said, my sister is married to an illegal, and he’s still sneaking around under her name for over 10 years already. So, she is equally ignorant to be an enabler!”
I wrote, “I’m tempted to write a very condescending paragraph about how sperm and eggs are made and how they meet to make a baby, but I’ll refrain.” and I responded to the last bit with:
If your boyfriend is working with illegals I’m assuming that you mean they have the same employer, which leads me to wonder why either of you aren’t turning the company in to the authorities? Isn’t allowing the company to hire illegals enabling? If these illegals have false documents then they aren’t freeloaders because taxes are being taken out of their paychecks though I’m not sure how you would be privy to knowing that their documents aren’t legitimate. Otherwise they must have work permits or green cards either through work or family sponsorship that allow them to legally work in the US and are therefore paying into the system legally just like your boyfriend. That instance is not a case of an ‘illegal’ taking jobs away from citizens. That is an immigrant seeking a better life for his or her family just as your ancestors did.
If your sister is married to someone that crossed legally or illegally he can still get a work permit or green card if she sponsors him, which makes him LEGAL! It doesn’t matter if he takes her name, the other way around, or neither change names. I’m guessing if he’s been married to her for ten years that he has already gone through the green card process, and is therefore NOT ILLEGAL.
In her second response to the previous email she again chomped on the bait but because it mingles with the actual topic somewhat and it’ll explain my last response her, which I’m leaving whole, I will include parts of her tirade. The *snip* is me leaving parts out. I didn’t do any editing aside from removing parts.
My God, the Supreme Being, gave EACH PERSON a conscience and a free will. I have no control over your conscience and free will~~only YOU do! *snip* I have very deep Faith in God *snip* YOUR choices are NOT MY FAULT, much as you would like it to be. Very typical of a cop-out, loser type!
As far as my tone being Christian or not, you wouldn’t know *snip* My God made 10 commandments, and cheating and stealing things that legally belong to the people who EARNED them because they paid taxes, is called a sin, as you know because you were raised Catholic! Christ ALWAYS punished people who were breaking His laws!! My thinking is VERY Christian, even though you have the type of thinking that leeches who live off other people always have!
You are simply too ignorant and have chosen to be a loser! You don’t even think beyond your God-given nose! My prayers are for all losers like you to begin to use the brain God gave them!
I wrote that I don’t blame or credit her with any of my choices. I don’t know her, so I’m sure she didn’t influence any of them. I also don’t blame or credit a supreme being for my choices. I also wrote that I would know a Christian tone because I can look up the Christian teachings and see that they’re supposed to follow a loving god, and they are to treat others as they wish to be treated leaving their god to pass judgment. Then I threw ‘free will’ back in her face and attempted to show that supreme beings don’t have a place in an argument about illegal foreigners. I wrote, “No god drew a line at the US and Mexican border. That was done by people acting on their own free will. Any laws broken by people crossing the arbitrary line created by the two governments answer to the respective governments.”
She only replied to my email about her boyfriend being an enabler. Her first paragraph read:
Sorry, but you could never write ANY article about how a sperm is created and meets and egg, condescending or otherwise, because you would need to start with a creature or substance made by God. You could not make any sperm or egg from zero, NOTHING! No person, no test tube, no sand no dirt, no seed, etc. , ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! You could not create the sperm OR the egg or ANYTHING out of NOTHING!
After another paragraph which includes her stating, “God does not need any “Bible” to prove anything! He simply IS!! Like the air you breathe, IF HE LETS YOU!!” She finally wrote:
Obviously there are many more illegals in this country than you know about. Cement-finishing is an independent job, like housecleaning or babysitting, and not one that has an “employer” or “company” to report. You might want a sidewalk poured, so you call the number on the ad in the paper. Most illegals work in jobs like this, simply BECAUSE there is no “company” to report! They know that the government isn’t going to monkey with such small potatoes! They WANT the companies, but most of the companies DO hire only people with green cards, so the illegals are harder to track down in a bunch. The difference with the undocumented aliens, from ANY country, but especially Mexico, is that the majority have NO INTENTION of EVER learning English or becoming citizens! THIS is where they differ from MY ancestors! That was their primary goal when they got here! They wanted to be citizens and worked hard to get their LEGAL papers. The Mexicans don’t! They are a different breed and don’t WANT to fit in!
My final reply in full:
You’re right; I couldn’t write an answer that you would find condescending because for some reason your answers require a supernatural deity that is benevolent, omnipotent, yet jealous, vengeful and randomly doles out free will. Any scientific explanation I give, which if I began with the dawn of time would include the big bang theory and the theory of evolution, you would probably either refute as misinformation dreamt up silly scholars that don’t spend enough time worshiping your egotistical deity or creations of said deity. I can’t argue with blind faith. It’s yours, you keep it. But I can’t stop questioning because without that I stop learning. How exactly is it possible for something to have always been? How much space does a deity take up? How much does a deity weigh? How is there only one deity? Were the Greek and/or Romans correct in believing in multiple deities containing strengths, weaknesses and human emotions? If the Greek and/or Roman deities are dismissed as fakes why not the Christian one as well?
Based on some of your responses about your “illegal” brother in-law and your nieces and nephews who are only citizens “by accident of birth” you seem to think there are a whole lot more illegal immigrants than in reality. By your word usages, my father is an “enabler” for marrying my mother, my mother is an illegal even though for 30 plus years she was merely a green card carrier, and I’m only a citizen “by accident of birth”. This would mean all of the first generation Americans of your own ancestors were also merely citizens “by accident of birth”. Is my daughter, second generation American, considered legal enough for you? At what generation level is the stain of having Mexican heritage removed for you? By the way, my mother, her sister, and their three nephews that came from Mexico all speak English. All of the Mexican families I grew up around were able to speak English.
I don’t deny the existence of many illegal immigrants in the US. And I’m quite sure the Border States have more illegal immigrants than where I am. I know that for contract work many individual homeowners will round up a group at Home Depot (or other such home improvement store) and pay by the day for a particular project. Yes, those are hard to catch. But unlike the assertion in your original rant, those people aren’t paid as much especially if they don’t speak English and aren’t licensed and bonded as I’m sure your tax-paying boyfriend is. They’re paid what the homeowner (or whom ever) is willing to pay. That’s why people pick illegal immigrants up for projects; they’re willing to work for less. The homeowner in this case is the employer and can still be turned in for hiring an illegal worker. If you know that the workers your boyfriend is surrounded by are illegal, you’re still an enabler by not turning them in. I’m guessing that local law enforcement would be more helpful than going through the federal government. It doesn’t matter how “small potatoes” it is, if you report it they have to make an effort to investigate.
Those illegal workers aren’t getting free health care as also asserted in your original rant. They do get free emergency care because doctors don’t wait for paperwork in order save the life of a fellow human. I agree that illegal immigrants should be processed for a legal work visa or face deportation but I wouldn’t want to live in a country so cold as to let a fellow human die simply because of the manner in which he or she crossed a country border.
The “free-loaders”, as you like to refer to illegal immigrants that work beside your boyfriend, I found actually pay more in taxes than they cost in social services. From the peer reviewed Tax Lawyer journal from the American Bar Association (http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=881584):
Undocumented immigrants, like all U.S. citizens and residents, are required to pay taxes. Despite the historic and strong American opposition to taxation without representation, undocumented immigrants (except in rare and unusual cases) have not enjoyed the right to vote on any local, state or federal tax or other matter for almost eighty years. Nevertheless, each year undocumented immigrants add billions of dollars in sales, excise, property, income and payroll taxes, including Social Security, Medicare and unemployment taxes, to federal, state and local coffers. Hundreds of thousands of undocumented immigrants go out of their way to file annual federal and state income tax returns.
Yet undocumented immigrants are barred from almost all government benefits, including food stamps, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, Medicaid, federal housing programs, Supplemental Security Income, Unemployment Insurance, Social Security, Medicare, and the earned income tax credit (EITC). Generally, the only benefits federally required for undocumented immigrants are emergency medical care, subject to financial and category eligibility, and elementary and secondary public education. Many undocumented immigrants will not even access these few critical government services because of their ever-present fear of government officials and deportation.
They aren’t thieves.
It’s been a month and she hasn’t emailed back. What do you think? Did I win the debate? 
Yesterday I went to my parent’s house to make tamales with my mom. In the morning, I cooked the chicken, which makes chicken stock at the same time, de-boned the chicken, and then made the tamale filling with the shredded chicken. All the while I had a toddler who kept alternating between hanging onto my pant leg, going for the cat food on the floor, and demanding food from the confines of her booster seat. After I finished that task, I put the baby gate up at the front door and made trips from the kitchen to the car. I checked off that I also brought food, formula, diapers, booster seat, and baby gate up to grandma’s house to make tamales. Babies need a lot of shit!
I planned this whole thing relying on Sophia sleeping on the way up to grandma’s house. Though it would be a short nap, at least it would be a nap. My darling daughter stayed awake, quiet, but most assuredly awake through the whole trip until I was literally blocks from grandma’s house. Ok, fine. I’ll stealthily take her out of the car seat, tip-toe up to an empty room and quietly set her down. Nope, she’s awake. Shit.
Sophia stayed awake the WHOLE day. She pointed out exactly where grandma needs to baby proof her house about every five seconds, but she didn’t fuss. While I was assembling tamales, Sophia actually amused herself for half an hour with a small empty plain brown cardboard box. MYGOD she really is my child.
My mom and I experimented with substituting 2/3 of the Crisco we usually use with olive oil. I think it tastes a lot better and I know it’s a lot healthier. After we’ve used up all the Crisco we have left, we’ll probably switch to 100% olive oil.
My dad and I talked about the election. He couldn’t believe how fast it all went. He didn’t expect to know so quickly.
My parents live in a small city in a Hispanic neighborhood. They’re within a mile of a community college and blocks from an elementary school. My dad said after Obama was announced president elect that he stepped outside. The neighborhood was quiet, but in the surrounding area, he could hear shouts and cheers. It’s really amazing. I’ve always thought of picking a president as choosing between the lesser of two evils, not so this time. I really have high hopes for Obama. I know he’s inheriting a huge fuckin’ mess, so it’ll be slow going, but I really think he has our best interests in mind.
My mom commented about Rev. Jesse Jackson crying at Obama’s speech. I joked that of course he cried, he wanted that spot for himself. Jesse could never make it, not in 1984, 1988, not now, nor anytime in the future. His whole platform would be about a black man making it in a white world, which fractures the crowd. That only captures a small percentage of the population because it even alienates other minorities. Obama obviously brought us all together and has the attention of the world. His election is being compared to the fall of the Berlin wall and Neil Armstrong’s first step on the moon.
Obama victory sparks cheers around the globe
By JOHN LEICESTER
Associated Press Writer
People across Africa stayed up all night or woke before dawn to watch U.S. history being made, while the president of Kenya – where Obama’s father was born – declared a public holiday.In Indonesia, where Obama lived as child, hundreds of students at his former elementary school erupted in cheers when he was declared winner and poured into the courtyard where they hugged each other, danced in the rain and chanted “Obama! Obama!”
Many expressed amazement and satisfaction that the United States could overcome centuries of racial strife and elect an African-American as president.
“This is the fall of the Berlin Wall times ten,” Rama Yade, France’s black junior minister for human rights, told French radio. “America is rebecoming a New World.
“On this morning, we all want to be American so we can take a bite of this dream unfolding before our eyes,” she said.
In Britain, The Sun newspaper borrowed from Neil Armstrong’s 1969 moon landing in describing Obama’s election as “one giant leap for mankind.”
I haven’t been keeping up with the news lately, so I only just found out yesterday that ex-President Ford died on the 27th and today I heard that Saddam Hussein was hung yesterday. Today as Kurt and I head out to go shopping for a new living room chair to place next to our couch, “The Laura” I noticed that the a flag at half mast. Given the latest news I wondered who was it flying for the ex president or Saddam. Don’t scoff at me, just twenty years ago Saddam was our ally against Iran. Twenty years ago it didn’t matter that Saddam was an assassin who killed his way up to the top of the Iraq government or that the US knew Iraq was using chemical weapons both against Iran and to punish Kurdish insurgents. It wasn’t really cool with US citizens to support a terrorist, and the government denied it at the time, but with Iraq being 80% Shiite I don’t think the Sunni Leader would have had a chance without a little help from his friends.
In the ‘90s Saddam became a bad guy again. He accused Kuwait of illegally slant-drilling petroleum across Iraq’s border and so Iraq invaded. The US feared for Saudi Arabia because they are an ally of the US, but mostly because we like their oil, so Bush Sr. tried to pursued the public to go to war. It’s not ok for Iraq to violate Kuwaiti territorial integrity, but in a few more years (2003) it’ll be ok for us to invade Iraq’s boundaries for preemptive purposes. Many cried, “No Blood For Oil”. Bush Sr. pulled the biochemical weapons card and the attempting to build atomic bombs card. It wasn’t until the Kuwaiti government paid for the Nurse Nayirah ads in which a nurse described Iraqi soldiers pulling babies out of incubators and letting them die on the floor that everyone said ok fine let’s go to war.
Now the US government claims moral superiority over Iraq even though as a civilian anyone who not only has knowledge of a crime but funds the criminal is an accessory to said crime. So for moral reasons very similar to the ones daddy Bush used, let’s wage war! Does this make any fucking sense? With nothing but a document stating that there are “weapons of mass destruction in Iraq”, which is known by the government before the start of the war to have been falsified, let us go to war because we can’t find Waldo in Afghanistan. Why if it’s so important to bring Saddam to ‘justice’ don’t we just go to the UN and start filing all the papers for a war crimes / human rights abuses trial? The penalty for that is still death. His underlings will get trials and then Iraq could have their civil wars without our soldiers getting in the way. – Oh wait there’s still that pesky fact of us having known all along what was going on but didn’t give a shit at the time factor. If helping Saddam in the 80′s was the right thing to do then we really should be flying the flag for our dear friend Saddam.
And in case you were wondering we did find the perfect chair to go with the Laura. It’s called the Farris. We also got an ottoman called the Tosha.
“Iraq: Declassified Documents of U.S. Support for Hussein”
With Joyce Battle Middle East Analyst, National Security Archive at George Washington University Thursday, Feb. 27, 2003; 11 a.m. ET
“Giant Firm Parlays Political Connections Into Pr Coups” Marcy Gordon AP Sunday, February 02, 1992
“Photos don’t show buildup” St. Petersburg Times – St. Petersburg, Fla. Author: JEAN HELLER Date: Jan 6, 1991
THE STOVEPIPE
How conflicts between the Bush Administration and the intelligence community marred the reporting on Iraq’s weapons.
by SEYMOUR M. HERSH
Issue of 2003-10-27
Posted 2003-10-20
Mohamed ElBaradei, publicly described the fraud at his next scheduled briefing to the U.N. Security Council, in New York on March 7th. The story slowly began to unravel.
Vice-President Cheney responded to ElBaradei’s report mainly by attacking the messenger. On March 16th, Cheney, appearing on “Meet the Press,” stated emphatically that the United States had reason to believe that Saddam Hussein had reconstituted his nuclear-weapons program. He went on, “I think Mr. ElBaradei frankly is wrong. And I think if you look at the track record of the International Atomic Energy Agency on this kind of issue, especially where Iraq’s concerned, they have consistently underestimated or missed what it was Saddam Hussein was doing. I don’t have any reason to believe they’re any more valid this time than they’ve been in the past.”
Yesterday I had a mandatory National Incident Management System meeting. This meeting was meant to broadly explain what FEMA and Homeland Security have been doing to justify their jobs and pretend like their on the ball getting procedures all worked out trying to show that they were not to blame for Katrina. So NIMS (National Incident Management System) is what we get. When I heard this I just kept thinking about the children’s book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh, unfortunately they have nothing to do with one another…if they had I may have been able to stay more alert.
What took two hours of repetitive acronyms and 81 slides – I can sum up in one sentence. NIMS is to be the guidelines for the coordinated response to national disasters, which requires extra acronyms and 81 slides in order to tell the general public that it would be great to have a standardize language for response teams to use that is separate from their regular work jargon.
At the beginning of this lecture the woman told us that there would be a test at the end, but that we would all pass it (nudge nudge wink wink), so I didn’t pay much attention, except to notice that this was made to sound extremely well thought out and important to us all by the use of confusing acronyms, which I just feel like I just can’t mention enough.
On slide nine (I have a paper copy with me) we have:
NIMS Standard Structions
Incident Command System (ICS)
Multiagency Coordination Systems (MACS)
Public Information Systems
No acronym for this last one. I guess PIS isn’t appropriate?
Slide ten:
NIMS’ Role in Preparedness
Planning, training, and exercises (NIC)
Personal qualification and certification (NIC)
Equipment acquisition and certification (NIC)
Publication management (NIC)
Mutual aid / Emergency Management Assistance Compacts
*NIC=NIMS Integration Center
Wait wait just a minute…why wasn’t NIC listed under slide nine if it’s under NIMS? I’m all confused I thought NIMS was the integration system that was going to be used to make communication simple…why does NIMS need a separate integration center – isn’t that what FEMA is? Oh never mind I’ll just go back to sleep.
After an overview of the “information” we move on to the 25 question test, which will allow us to all become NIMS certified. The lady told us that we’ll even get our certificate mailed to us if we put down our SSN on the answer sheet. She then reminds us that this was a required class, indicating that we needed to show proof to our employer that we actually took it. One of my co-workers asked, “uuhh isn’t that what the sign in sheet was for?”
“Well yes, but you’ll want your certificate to show you completed the class.”
“But we’re taking the test and will pass that..? What is the certificate for?”
“Well if a national disaster ever happens and they want to pick people to send to help, you’ll need it to head up a team.”
My co-worker and I both left the SSN spot blank. I’m not a police officer, national guardsman, fire fighter, paramedic, nurse or doctor, and there is good reason why I didn’t choose any of those fields. I don’t want to fucking do it!! Moving on…
As the facilitator read each test question she moved around the room selecting a different person to answer each one and then giving us the correct answer if necessary. She then read #13. She said that number 13 was particularly confusing and that two answers are equally good, but only one is actually accepted. She of course wound up having to tell us which one was the more correct between the two equally correct answers. It was the same for number 21 and I believe the third one was number 23, which she said, when she took her test she obtained her correct answer from one government source while a colleague received their correct answer from a different government source. Sounds like this standardization stuff really works. I feel ready for anything now!
Today I went into see a doctor about a possible hypothyroid problem. It went well enough. I needed to have some blood drawn and that’s when the fun began. I put my sheet in the little in tray at the lab and within seconds was called back. The nurse asked that I go down to the end, the third chair and have a seat. I obediently went. I watched her read the sheet thingy, pull four vials out of her collection, take my little name stickers off the sheet thingy and put them on the vials. I asked her, “so which arm do you want to see?” She said it didn’t matter. I pulled up both my sleeves to see which veins were more visible, left of course. I pulled down my right sleeve and handed her my left arm after taking my hair scrunchy off my wrist. She noticed the black rubber bracelet that I’ve been wearing for about a year now and flipped it over and around so that she could see what was engraved on it… “I did not vote 4 Bush”, she read aloud. She looked up at me and asked where I got it. “A friend bought a bunch of them on the internet and he gave it to me.”
“My husband would kill me if I wore one of those.” She said. And I thought about what kind of restrictive relationship she must be in if she isn’t free to express herself. She continued with a smug, “He’s in the military.” I bet she thought she had me, as if I should feel compelled to apologize for my rudeness in practicing my freedom of speech.
“I was in the military and I’m still wearing it.” I told her. She didn’t seem to believe me.
“What branch were you in?” She asked me in the same testing manner that many people take up with me.
“Navy.”
“How long were you in?”
“Three years.”
“Were you stationed here?”
I was sure she meant here as in a few miles South in Everett, so I said, “No I was at Whidbey Island.”
“Are you from here?”
“No, I’m originally from Alaska.”
“Then What are you doing Here!” She demanded. She didn’t yell it, but it certainly wasn’t as cordial as someone asking, “So what brings you to this area?”
I looked at her a little stunned, “My parents moved here when I was a teen, but still consider Alaska my home.” I said. What am I doing here? I’m not allowed to move from Alaska? Clearly she didn’t know that Whidbey Island is just a couple hours drive north, but I’m not in the position to hand her a map. Yes I was in a very docile mood today. It just proves that I’m not myself.
She told that she had moved her children here from Minnesota at a very young age, and they still feel the same.
Finally she’s done with her battery of questions and she tells me that there will be more than the usual poke because of the vein she has to draw from. “There is just no gentle way to do this one because of the position.” She said.
I have had my blood drawn many many many times and buy some very inept military corpsman, but it never hurt like this! – That Cunt!
And by the way – it’s the same damn vein as always! – Not arterial blood.
Last night Kurt and I went out to dinner and were discussing parenting methods and of course Kurt said something very Kurtish. I told him we should create a spoof website with all the alternative methods of parenting that he comes up with and we could even list his potato peeler as the ultimate answer.
After 9/11 Kurt approached a circle of co-workers talking about what they think should happen to Osama Bin Laden if/when the US catches him. They asked Kurt and he gave his answer… Kurt said that Osama should be buried up to his neck. Then one at a time each person that had a loved one die because of Osama should be left alone in the room with him for five minutes. They can’t have any weapons except a potato peeler with a cork at the end so as to prevent a quick stabbing death to the eye. All of Kurt’s co-workers shuddered and quickly dispersed.
Kurt thought that having the potato peeler story on the site wouldn’t make any sense because no one remembers that Osama is the one we were supposed to catch in the first place. He then went on to give his idea for a political cartoon…
Dubya and OJ out golfing. OJ asks Dubya if he’s seen Osama. Dubya says no and then asks OJ, “Have you found the killer?” OJ says no and they both ride off in their golf cart laughing and continue with their game.
So a bit of my Valentine’s Day conversation with my live-in non-hubby who is currently in Spain went something like this:
Kurt said something along the lines of, “It’s funny how bush waged war on a country that had no weapons of mass destruction by convincing some people that they were a threat and the one country that has openly stood up and said, “We have nukes!” Bush just blows them off saying that’s just the typical rhetoric from North Korea.”
Knowing full well that he used the word funny as a way of speaking and not meaning the situation is actually funny I dryly replied, “I don’t think it’s funny at all.”
“What? You don’t find that hilarious?” He says sarcastically.
“No not at all.”
“Oh someday you’ll laugh about it.”
“Somehow I don’t think my shadow will be smiling!”
I think everyone should be able to choose when they die using a method that is the least painful including people that aren’t physically able to do it themselves. I really don’t see a big difference between being allowed to forgo certain treatments that would extend your life and allowing a doctor to deliver a lethal dose.
But for those that support this why refer to it as dieing with dignity? What wrong with calling it assisted suicide? That’s what it is! If people could really die with dignity then I’m all for it, but really how much dignity can there be when no matter what, you’re going to crap your pants?
Bush and all his denials…one that really stood out immediately was when the arrogant jackass denied saying that he really didn’t give a rat’s ass about catching Osama.
This transcript of last night’s debate was taken from the official White House website:
SENATOR KERRY: Yes. When the President had an opportunity to capture or kill Osama bin Laden, he took his focus off of him, outsourced the job to Afghan warlords, and Osama bin Laden escaped. Six months after he said Osama bin Laden must be caught, dead or alive, this President was asked, where is Osama bin Laden? He said, I don’t know, I don’t really think about him very much, I’m not that concerned. We need a President who stays deadly focused on the real war on terror.
PRESIDENT BUSH: Gosh, I don’t think I ever said I’m not worried about Osama bin Laden. That’s kind of one of those exaggerations. Of course, we’re worried about Osama bin Laden. We’re on the hunt after Osama bin Laden. We’re using every asset at our disposal to get Osama bin Laden.
My opponent said this war is a matter of intelligence and law enforcement. No, this is a — war is a matter of using every asset at our disposal to keep the American people protected.
If I were a Bush supporter I would be wondering why he didn’t even attempt to explain the logic behind letting Osama’s allies take care of catching Osama, but then again I have this annoying habit of using my brain instead of allowing the TV to be my wet nurse. No where does Bush ever deny or explain outsourcing the job of capturing Osama to the same people that were very recently good buddies with Terrorist Leader number one. The royal idiot only laughs and calls the words Kerry quoted, which are easily found on the official White House website dated March 13th 2002, an exaggeration. The imbecile gave a strong 5 second rebuttal focusing only on the “I’m not that concerned” quote, and used the highly advanced third grader’s argumentative tactic of, “nu uh I didn’t say that”.
Question: Mr. President, in your speeches now you rarely talk or mention Osama bin Laden. Why is that? Also, can you tell the American people if you have any more information, if you know if he is dead or alive? Final part — deep in your heart, don’t you truly believe that until you find out if he is dead or alive, you won’t really eliminate the threat of –
THE PRESIDENT: Deep in my heart I know the man is on the run, if he’s alive at all. Who knows if he’s hiding in some cave or not; we haven’t heard from him in a long time. And the idea of focusing on one person is — really indicates to me people don’t understand the scope of the mission.
Terror is bigger than one person. And he’s just — he’s a person who’s now been marginalized. His network, his host government has been destroyed. He’s the ultimate parasite who found weakness, exploited it, and met his match. He is — as I mentioned in my speech, I do mention the fact that this is a fellow who is willing to commit youngsters to their death and he, himself, tries to hide — if, in fact, he’s hiding at all.
So I don’t know where he is. You know, I just don’t spend that much time on him, Kelly, to be honest with you. I’m more worried about making sure that our soldiers are well-supplied; that the strategy is clear; that the coalition is strong; that when we find enemy bunched up like we did in Shahikot Mountains, that the military has all the support it needs to go in and do the job, which they did.
And there will be other battles in Afghanistan. There’s going to be other struggles like Shahikot, and I’m just as confident about the outcome of those future battles as I was about Shahikot, where our soldiers are performing brilliantly. We’re tough, we’re strong, they’re well-equipped. We have a good strategy. We are showing the world we know how to fight a guerrilla war with conventional means.
Question: But don’t you believe that the threat that bin Laden posed won’t truly be eliminated until he is found either dead or alive?
THE PRESIDENT: Well, as I say, we haven’t heard much from him. And I wouldn’t necessarily say he’s at the center of any command structure. And, again, I don’t know where he is. I — I’ll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him. I know he is on the run. I was concerned about him, when he had taken over a country. I was concerned about the fact that he was basically running Afghanistan and calling the shots for the Taliban.
But once we set out the policy and started executing the plan, he became — we shoved him out more and more on the margins. He has no place to train his al Qaeda killers anymore. And if we — excuse me for a minute — and if we find a training camp, we’ll take care of it. Either we will or our friends will. That’s one of the things — part of the new phase that’s becoming apparent to the American people is that we’re working closely with other governments to deny sanctuary, or training, or a place to hide, or a place to raise money.
And we’ve got more work to do. See, that’s the thing the American people have got to understand, that we’ve only been at this six months. This is going to be a long struggle. I keep saying that; I don’t know whether you all believe me or not. But time will show you that it’s going to take a long time to achieve this objective. And I can assure you, I am not going to blink. And I’m not going to get tired. Because I know what is at stake. And history has called us to action, and I am going to seize this moment for the good of the world, for peace in the world and for freedom.
I’d really like the pres. to explain why he outsourced the terrorist hunting job he seemed so eager to let our own troops do to the friends of Osama (the terrorist we’re supposed to be after). From the Washingtonpost.com April 17, 2002 page A01 By Barton Gellman and Thomas E. Ricks Washington Post Staff Writers
The Bush administration has concluded that Osama bin Laden was present during the battle for Tora Bora late last year and that failure to commit U.S. ground troops to hunt him was its gravest error in the war against al Qaeda, according to civilian and military officials with first-hand knowledge.
Intelligence officials have assembled what they believe to be decisive evidence, from contemporary and subsequent interrogations and intercepted communications, that bin Laden began the battle of Tora Bora inside the cave complex along Afghanistan’s mountainous eastern border. Though there remains a remote chance that he died there, the intelligence community is persuaded that bin Laden slipped away in the first 10 days of December.
After-action reviews, conducted privately inside and outside the military chain of command, describe the episode as a significant defeat for the United States. A common view among those interviewed outside the U.S. Central Command is that Army Gen. Tommy R. Franks, the war’s operational commander, misjudged the interests of putative Afghan allies and let pass the best chance to capture or kill al Qaeda’s leader. Without professing second thoughts about Tora Bora, Franks has changed his approach fundamentally in subsequent battles, using Americans on the ground as first-line combat units.
In the fight for Tora Bora, corrupt local militias did not live up to promises to seal off the mountain redoubt, and some colluded in the escape of fleeing al Qaeda fighters. Franks did not perceive the setbacks soon enough, some officials said, because he ran the war from Tampa with no commander on the scene above the rank of lieutenant colonel. The first Americans did not arrive until three days into the fighting. “No one had the big picture,” one defense official said.