If yelling can cause air molecules to vibrate faster, thereby making the air warmer, I think Sophia’s screaming every night for the last few weeks is to blame for the record temperatures in the Seattle area. All right fine, the math doesn’t support that theory.
I hear the Earth is getting closer to the sun.
Flash Fiction Friday is hosted by g-man. You may also visit Flash Fiction Friday 55′s, a blog dedicated to hosting 55 Flash Fiction Friday posts.
This morning I made it clear that I truly needed a break from the child. Kurt stayed home from work and I locked myself in our room. I told Kurt that this arraignment wasn’t going to be a good substitute because I would just be a prisoner and if the princess was having a bad day, I could still hear it all. Not exactly the most relaxing situation especially when I feel bad that his taking this day off would be no different than the weekend we just had where I got to sleep in a bit but otherwise had to hear all the lamenting and gnashing of teeth once I come down to the kitchen for food.
Sophia actually had a good morning which was a relief, and Kurtie being the sweetheart that he can be when pressed hard enough brought food to me. The first thing he brought was an apple and knife with which to cut it. A few minutes later he literally brought me, the prisoner, a glass of water and piece of bread, the heel no less. Smart ass. Then he brought me scrambled eggs with cheese. He’s so awesome.
This morning Sophia at almost sixteen months had her fifteen-month check up. I scheduled it rather late because I had her get a flu shot before we left for our Christmas trip and since it was her first time it was a two shot deal. They give two separate half doses thirty days apart.
Sophia is thirty-one inches tall and twenty-one pounds. Not much of a height change since the last visit. The doctor said that should be seeing another growth spurt soon. She is at the fiftieth percentile for height and twentieth for weight. As usual, the nurse read a list of questions to determine is Sophia is progressing. She’s walking and climbing? Yes. Does she drink from a cup? No. the nurse advised that we switch her to a cup to avoid problems with her teeth and ear infections. Does she feed herself? Yes. Does she use any words? No. Does she know her body parts as in can she point to any body parts? No. That’s not something I’ve purposely worked with her on. I’ve been concentrating on colors, number, letters, and shapes. None of which can she identify. I really don’t think she’s paying any attention. Does she enjoy listening to you read? No, not really. She could care less. The nurse gave us a look and Kurt quickly jumped in with, “She’s not autistic, she listens and can obey commands.”
After the nurse left the room Kurt started making kissy sounds at Sophia and she being super ultra cute, leaned in so that Kurt could kiss the top of her head. It became a new game and the two of them did this several times. It was disgustingly cute. She got off my lap and started exploring the room. When the doctor came in she freaked out, slipped on the floor, and hit her tooth against her lip. Good thing we were already at the doctor’s office. *sigh* Her mouth bled but not badly. On the up side, her crying allowed me to see that she has two molars coming in on the bottom. She only has two teeth on bottom so there is a big gap between them and the two new teeth.
Despite it being my day off from baby, I had to go to the appointment with Kurt because he insisted that I bring up a medical issue that I’m having while there. We also asked about Sophia’s lack of language and her extreme clinginess to me. I told the doctor that Sophia doesn’t say ANYTHING. Nothing at all. I don’t count that when I went to Alaska in early December that while she was crying one night I distinctly heard, “ma ma ma” because she also runs around the house saying, “ma ma ma” and sometimes, “da da da”. It’s like saying her other favorite consonant combination of “tur lur lur shlur lur” or “ba ba ba” are also words. Just for the record, I’m rather fond of the “tur lur lur shlur lur”. It’s the one she uses very quietly while analyzing the intricacies of an object as she dissects or disassembles it. I like this one because if she happens to be out of my sight I know I need to check on her to make sure whatever it is that she’s destroying is Kurt’s and not mine. I love you Kurtie. *cheesy grin* She also uses those sounds to talk to her food while she inspects it’s consistency.
The only “words” she has EVER used is the sign for “all done”, which she actually invented before I started using signs with her and just happens to be very close to the real sign. She uses that one very regularly. She regularly claps her hands to show she has accomplished something she’s proud of and sometimes, very rarely, she’ll clap her hands to mean “more”. Only one time has she EVER used the sign for eat and that one was very clear and deliberate. On Thanksgiving, we had some awesome pumpkin pie from an actual bakery as opposed to Costco or some other grocery store which simply isn’t the same quality and Sophia LOVED it. She made the sign “eat” a couple times for the pumpkin pie after a few bites and never repeated it EVER again.
On a side note, I gave her an adult bite sized chunk from my slice of pumpkin pie and set it on her tray. Instead of picking the whole thing up like a regular toddler and smashing it into her face or maybe taking bites of it, my child took tiny pinches off the top and turned one adult bite into about 42 baby bites. Ok maybe 42 is a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the idea.
The doctor said to wait until 18 months to see if maybe there’s an explosion of words. He says that kids often go from zero to six words quite literally overnight and at this point she should have a three to six word vocabulary.
A few people have suggested I get this DVD or that set of children’s songs to help Sophia. I don’t think they understand when try to communicate that, “SHE DOESN’T CARE!” Oh, and I don’t like children’s songs. I know I’m such a scrooge, but don’t find them in any way cute. They are actually quite irritating to me, so they don’t get airtime in our home. And even though I take Sophia swimming twice a week where we recite nursery rhymes, for the life of me, I can’t remember any of them, so they don’t get airtime at home either.
I don’t watch TV during the day. I occasionally put on a Baby Einstein DVD, but Sophia shows no interest in them whatsoever. She’s more interested in playing with measuring cups, boxes, and her favorite Christmas present, a $3 box of alphabet flashcards from Kurt’s mom. She may in fact be listening to the DVDs but it’s not obvious and probably not as effective as listening to my voice. She does listen and often obeys when I tell her, “That’s not ours put it back on the shelf.” The only exception to Sophia’s personal TV rule is still M*A*S*H. Oh and the other day I saw a Biography on Lindsey Buckingham in which they played one of his solo songs and Sophia danced to it. She bent her knees to the beat in a very ‘white-man’ sort of dance. My dad, a Fleetwood Mac fan will be so proud.
About Sophia’s extreme attachment to me, the doctor looked up some info on Separation anxiety though it’s not what we described as the problem. Kurt told him about me not being able to leave the room at home and about the times Sophia is fine with him *until* I show up. I described how we went for a walk on Sunday. I became too tired to hold her so Kurt took over and she screamed and cried the entire time he held her despite me walking alongside them. The funny part was while I was holding her I tried to get her to walk along with us, but as I set her down it was like putting a cat in a bath. Her legs came up higher and higher as I bent lower and lower, so I passed her off to daddy. Kurt mentioned how nice it was to walk along though nature with the grass, trees, fresh air, and screaming toddler. Beautiful, just beautiful, it really warms the heart.
The doctor couldn’t think of another term that fit this situation or for this age group since a certain amount of toddler clinginess is normal. He gave it to us with the idea that it could give us some hints. The basic gist of the handout is to not be emotional when separating. That’s not too difficult especially when all I need to do is go to the bathroom. It’s not that emotional an event for me. It also said not to sneak away when the child isn’t looking. Again, I’m just going to the bathroom. Do I really need to announce my departure upstairs when Kurt is home? When it’s just Sophia and I at home, I do tell her I’m going to put laundry in the washer or get groceries from the car. She takes it well sometimes. Other times, not so much. And it said, on return don’t pick the child up. What? Not even to say good morning on a day that Kurt gets up with her instead of me? Yeah, I don’t think this applies to our case. It’s not as if I pick her up after I get groceries out of the car. I have her follow me screaming in to the kitchen while I put things away. Sometimes she’s fine with the whole process, sometimes she gets distracted by taking groceries out the bag for me and distributing them throughout the house, and other times I really want a couple shots of rum.
If anyone still thinks I’m just caving in to the desires of the princess I swear I’ll go get copies of the security tape from the last two times I’ve taken the demon seed to Target. She wanted to play with stuff on the selves and wouldn’t obey when I told her to stop so I put her in the cart. She didn’t want to sit in the cart, so she tried standing. I wound up carrying the screaming child like a football so it wouldn’t seem as if I’m condoning her behavior, and so she wouldn’t kick me. I proceeded to retrieve the items I wanted before leaving and everyone smirked at the lady carrying the evil tantrum child. I think they’ve all been there.
After the doctor left the room enough time passed for Sophia to get comfortable exploring the room again before the nurse appeared again to administer shots. When Sophia saw her, she literally shrieked and hid her face against my leg. I can’t say that I blame her on that one. Oh, and my own problem I went to this visit to discuss – I didn’t bring it up. I have no idea where Sophia gets her stubbornness. It surly isn’t from me. 
This exceedingly long post was made possible by Kurt giving me the day off and is brought to you by grey hair and possible hearing loss. I dedicate this to one of my stalkers most dedicated commenters, Susan, and her family consisting of Hubby Henry, seventeen month old Chloe, and baby girl in the belly due in May.
I’m getting tired of it. Kurt volunteered to get Sophia this morning and he entertained her while I slept in. It was great, but when I woke up, I just stayed there. I’m with her 24-7 and her clinginess to mommy along with not being able to tell me what the hell she needs is really wearing me thin. I dread getting up.
Most of my communication with the outside world is via email/blog/text chat so when people tell me not to worry about her not talking I’m not sure if their comment is just a sort of knee-jerk response like when the cashier at the grocery store wishes people to “have a nice day” or if they really think I’m concerned. I’m not. She babbles constantly while at home. I know she can hear and I know she’s smart. She can very clearly communicate what she wants without words sometimes. On Thursday when the swimming instructor said the words, “humpty dumpty” she stretched her arms and legs out so she was flat as a board and reached for the side of the pool. That song signals that they get to go jump into the pool off the side and she loves it. The instructor doesn’t do that song very often. I think it’s actually been a couple weeks since she’s heard those words.
It’s been brought up that maybe I respond to her nonverbal demands so I’ve made myself very aware of what I do. I intentionally pretend I don’t know what she wants and will make several guesses until she gives me some sort of cue that I’m right. Until I get it right she screams and cries and stomps about. I’m getting really tired of it. I need a break. I haven’t had one since before my last post about needing a break. I need more than just a couple hours.
This morning I reluctantly came down the stairs. Sophia was very quietly playing with her toys while Kurt watched TV. She never lets me do that. If I’m sitting, she must be on my lap. I don’t get computer time while she’s awake because she wants to type while I type. If I want her to play with her toys I must sit on the floor with her. Sometimes I get to sneak off while she plays, but not for long.
Kurt announces my presents and Sophia came running, but unlike when she runs to greet daddy after work she insists that I pick her up. I give her a hug and hold her for a bit then put her down. All hell breaks loose. Because she hasn’t seen me all morning and that’s like a lifetime to her, she wants to be attached at the hip. If it were up to her mommy would carry her for the rest of the day. It’s not possible and don’t even entertain the idea. I made brunch instead while the child turn red in the face, screamed, and cried crocodile tears. I need a break. I really really need a break.
Kurtie gave me most of yesterday off. It was nice, but today the light sleeping princess woke up too early because of Kurt opening a frozen shut front door followed by pounding on the doors of the truck outside. I’ve had nothing but screaming for an hour. At first, I tried to put her back to bed but that wasn’t working out so I decided that it would be time to get up. That didn’t work either. She kicked and screamed up a storm while I tried to get pants on her. I decided to let her go pants-less and I had her follow me around the house while I got dress and she screamed. I put her back to bed. I don’t want to jinx things and say that she may have gone back to sleep, but it is quiet in her room at this moment. This is me keeping my fingers and toes crossed that the rest of the day isn’t filled with screaming.
Recently Sophia has taken a great interest in what we’re eating. As in, she begs. In my opinion, it’s a huge improvement from feeding her ears and hands as she shakes her head and waves off anything in a spoon. If she were one of our dogs, we would nix this begging for food phenomenon right away. But she’s people, so we share with the little beggar. I guess begging has shades of grey.
Thursday last week, she stared eating tiny bits of whatever we are having for dinner. I guess she needed the calories because our sleeping problems have magically disappeared without the need of sleepless nights of screaming while she unlearns the bad habit. She now goes to bed at seven, wakes up once around ten thirty or eleven and then sleeps through until morning. Oh, and she is most definitely a meat eater. She loves chicken and steak. 
If you read my very long ranty, I-hate-TSA post (nobody did, so don’t feel bad) you might be wondering how Sophia did without me. She did really well, just not on the first night. Poor Kurtie.
After a couple of hours of fussing, Sophia finally went to sleep the first night. She woke up at midnight and started SCREAMING when she saw daddy’s face instead of mine. She screamed for two hours. She woke up early, still tired, so Kurt had her fall asleep with him. I called at eight in the morning to see how things were going and woke them both up. Kurt said that the rest of the day wherever they went in the house, Sophia would look all around the room to see if I was there. That evening I called again. Kurt said that she was ok during the day, but looked very sad. She was playing quietly while he talked to me, then he put the phone up to her ear. I talked to her, she recognized my voice and she started crying. Kurt said she looked at him as if to say, “How dare you put my mommy *in* the phone”. The next night went better. She was so tired from the previous night that she “passed out” in Kurt’s arms at six that evening.
Other than that, things went well for them. The whole month prior to my trip, I gave Sophia her morning cereal with formula so that I knew she’d be ok with that different taste and it wouldn’t upset her stomach. She was already ok with a bottle since daycare; so the lack of nighttime mommy milk machine that was the only tough part.
We just got back from our “living with baby” class. Since Valentines Day is coming up the facilitator had some red paint to sponge onto the babies hands to make a hand print card for us mommies. Sophia, taking after mom, refused to cooperate and made a fist. She also started screaming when I went to wash her hand off. *sigh* Yep, she’s mine. Kurtie came with us for the class, which was nice. Sitting on the floor for an hour may have been a little hard, but I think it was good for him to get out and walk a bit (it’s a good little walk going from the parking garage to the class).
The inside of the card read,
Here’s my little handprint
Just so you can recall
Exactly how my fingers looked
When I was Very small!It comes with hugs and kisses
On my first Valentine’s Day
So I can say I LOVE YOU
In a very special way!I love you, Mommy!
I’m never cutting baby nails again! I don’t care how much she scratches her face up with her own nails. I was cutting her nails while she was nursing but didn’t get them all, so I made another attempt when she was a little more fidgety. I should have known better. At first I though I cut her nail too short, but after her red-faced-screaming and crocodile tears subsided I saw that I had actually lopped off a tiny chunk of skin. Now I just feel like shit. 
I held her close, rocking back and forth, and almost produced my own crocodile tears. My poor baby is now sick with a snuffly nose and sporting an adult sided band-aid on her left thumb, which she promptly popped into her mouth.
A California bill has been proposed by Marco Firebaugh to prohibit smoking in a car with passengers under 18. I’m a non-smoker and hate the smell as much as the next non-smoker. I grew up with a father that smoked like a chimney. I hated the smell in the car and couldn’t get fresh air in the house. When I was twelve we were living in Juneau AK, where at times there were fire bans because cloud cover would trap the smoke, so even outside I couldn’t get fresh air. Durring that time there were two occasions when I woke up and felt like I couldn’t breathe in at all.
After graduating high school I joined the military. I was sent to in to get a fit test for a respirator to wear for my corrosion job. As part of the physical I had to blow into a tube as hard as possible to measure lung capacity. The doctor asked me, “Are you sure you’re not a smoker?” My lungs were at 80% of what they should have been, and I still think this is a stupid law. If this bill passes it’ll just be another form of random tax collection, like speeding tickets, seatbelt, car seat laws.
All we need are parents fighting a nic-fit with three screaming in the back adding to the pressure while they navigate through gridlock. This is bound to bring down the road rage!
Seriously though Smokers don’t just smoke in the car with their kids. They smoke at home too. What about all the other noxious fumes in the world like car exhaust and the “new car smell”, which by the way is created using formaldehyde.
Over the years it’s just slowly gotten stricter and stricter. First in the mid eighties airplanes became smoke free. Then there were designated areas at work places, now it’s banned in restaurants. Bars are starting to get pinched too. Bars!! Of all places – the place you go to get drunk off your ass. Why not just make smoking illegal, you know, like the other drugs? The war on drugs has worked so well for the rest of them. (Did you notice the sarcasm?)
Where kids are concern I think we should just stick to the basics: physical abuse, molestation, rape, and murder – things that are done intentionally to harm. What is the obsession with making everything safe for people we don’t even give a shit about? There are so many things that can kill us. We can’t control it all! We should have an agency that collects data, offers the information so people are aware of the risks, and the rest should be buyer beware!
Proposed bill would prohibit smoking in car with child passengers
By Alexa H. Bluth — Bee Capitol Bureau
Published 4:53 pm PDT Monday, April 26, 2004
California lawmakers are considering a bill that would make California the first state in the nation to prohibit smokers from lighting up in a private car when children are present.
The proposal by Assemblyman Marco Firebaugh, D-South Gate, has drawn the ire of Republican lawmakers who say it goes too far in attempting to police personal behavior.
Supporters, however, call it a crucial stride toward protecting the state’s children from the damaging effects of second-hand smoke.
“It just seemed to me that it was one effective, intelligent way to reduce the risk to kids,” said Firebaugh, who said that asthma is common among children in his home district in southeast Los Angeles.
Assemblyman Dennis Mountjoy, R-Monrovia, called the measure “big brother government.”
“Government is going to raise our kids for us because parents don’t know what’s best? That’s a very scary thought,” Mountjoy said.
The measure would allow officers to ticket drivers found smoking a pipe, cigar or cigarette in a car with children 18 or under present.
For more details, see Tuesday’s Bee.