Tag Archives: speech therapist

And on the Fourth Day She Smiles

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I didn’t really check out how well the other two and three year old children were separating from their parents, but let’s just say I didn’t hear any crying except from my child. It wasn’t a loud obnoxious tantrum, just a general sobbing upset. She clung to “friend”, but knew that it was useless to try and Velcro herself to my leg. She was whisked away with tears in her eyes…again.

I figured out why the tickling thing was a big enough deal for Sophia’s buddy to mention the previous day. The head of the camp who is also Sophia’s advocate (person who is supposed to ensure that we’re happy with the services we receive and that we’re informed of everything available to us) came up to me and showed me Sophia’s camp photo. I wasn’t supposed to receive it until the next day but she gave it to me as proof that Sophia does smile while at camp. I’m sure there were some smiles but I’m also fairly certain that she had to be tickled for the photo. How much you want to bet this mom knows her kid?

The snack for this day was a waffle face with apple slices to form a mouth and mini-marshmallow teeth. Sophia likes apple and I used to slice them for her and remove the skin when she was younger, then we moved up to merely slicing it. Now however she won’t touch an apple unless it’s whole. For the waffle face eyes, they used raisins and for a nose, they used half of one of those hotdog things you see in baby food jars. The other half of the hotdog thing was halved again to make the ears. Dried spaghetti was poked into the top of the waffle for some hair. It was cute and overall a better snack than the one from the day before. I’m still not impressed, but at least she’s eating in front of other kids.

Sophia’s buddy said that Sophia still wouldn’t talk in front of her but that the speech therapist was there and Sophia signed for her. I didn’t ask which speech therapist it was, so it could have been the one Sophia is already familiar with, It could have been the one who was assigned to us and used to come to our house.

Thursday:
Today…
I made a…Necklace
I ate a…Waffle and raisins (nothing she hasn’t had at home, except that at home the waffles are made from scratch of course and not Eggo Waffles…I’m just sayin’)
I liked…playing in the field

My day was… (in this part of the form the buddy circles one of three choices: fabulous, good, ok) Sophia’s buddy circled fabulous.

Under comments she wrote, “Still no talking! Although she’s doing great at camp! Signs please and more!”

necklace Sophia made at camp

This was the first time that Sophia seemed genuinely happy after camp. I asked her if she had a good day and she answered with an excited, “Yes!” and a big smile.

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Speech therapy, I waited for this?

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With every question I had after every pre-therapy hoop, I was told I’d have to ask the speech therapist. Almost two full months after Sophia’s qualifying evaluation for speech therapy I finally got an appointment and then the day before it was to happen I received a cancellation call. The therapist was sick, but I didn’t care. I was pissed as hell all day. All the hoops, all the forms, prior evaluations, first time consultations with occupational therapists, meetings over expectations, all we really wanted was this one therapy.

We are sure that if we could just get Sophia talking many of our other frustrations would be minimized. It took two months to get the appointment despite having good, nay awesome insurance. They couldn’t just assign a different speech therapist to come to our home or have me go to the office though they say it’s not as effective. I don’t care. Just get me into the final phase of the system!

I received a call the following Monday, the day before we were to leave for a week for Christmas in Michigan, and was asked if we could meet in two hours. Absolutely! Every first time meeting is just a head-nod getting-to-know-you session and this one was no different. I wasn’t impressed and I don’t think she likes me much either.

I got the feeling that she didn’t see Sophia as a valid case since I was beaming over new words she picked up over the week in Hawaii. She seemed to forget that I signed up for this shit two months prior and at the time Sophia had less than twenty words. All through the therapy session, the tips and pointers she gave to helping Sophia to speak were pissing me off. “Use short, simple phrases,” “Add descriptive words to the words she says.” “Ask her questions.” “Give her choices.” I’m sure there are some people that completely ignore their child all day and then wonder why the child doesn’t speak. I’m not one of those. I didn’t give any acknowledgment to the therapists suggestions. Her tone wasn’t at all condescending but the fact that those were her main tips made it sound like anyone with a two year old who doesn’t speak must be an inept parent and fucking idiot. Either that or this therapy is a joke. Seriously, if better tricks don’t come out of the bag next time I’m going to forget about the speech part of Sophia’s therapy.

The therapist began to give examples of questions I should ask Sophia as if I couldn’t come up with them on my own. Actually, she was trying to explain how to make talking fun for Sophia. “Is this blue?” She asked Sophia holding up a red Tyco Super Block (big Legos for toddlers). I had just explained to her that Sophia was using signs from her Signing Time video that she didn’t seem to understand. Red, was one of the signs. I waited to give Sophia a chance to answer. Sophia moved on with whatever was going through her toddler head without any acknowledgment that a question was even asked of her.

That form of questioning really makes my ass twitch. I have no idea what I was really like at the age of two. I do have memories from that age, but I don’t know if I was talking or how much. I told the therapist that Sophia isn’t just a lot like me, she is mini-me. Several friends have commented that her attitudes are mine exactly. I know that Sophia is only two and may not actually know the answer to the question, but in continuing to give some background in how Sophia I think, I told the therapist that when I was little I always thought people that asked that type of question were stupid. With a touch of contempt in her voice she said, “Well some kids think it’s fun.” Clearly, I hit a nerve. She continued to tell me that she wouldn’t use that sort of question with say, a seven year old. In the specific memory I have of being asked such a question I wasn’t seven. I was four. I was just trying to give her some insight into our attitude, so bite me.

Sophia started throwing a ball around the room and the therapist said the word “ball” to her. Sophia then said ball for the first time. “Wow,” I said, “I guess I’ll be adding that one to the list.” I was informed by the therapist that, “the tend pick up words spontaneously like that after they’ve reached fifty words”. Indicating that my count must me off. Including the new word of the day, she only had 37 words at the time. I’m not counting the signs she picked up from her video because she really doesn’t seem to know what they mean. For her they all are ways to tell me she wants to watch the video again and that’s it.

Sophia got to be a bit of a pest with her ball. She kept saying, “ball” and started throwing a ball AT me. I asked her not to do that and she said, “dahp et” The therapist and I both laughed, “yes,” I said, “you need to stop it.”

I told the therapist of my attempts at getting Sophia to talk including the four months (between the ages of 18 and 22 months) I didn’t give her anything (aside from scheduled meals) unless she signed or asked for it. I wasn’t responding to finger pointing or grunts anymore if I knew she had a word or a sign for a particular want. In an almost snotty tone she asked, “and how did that go for you?” I really wanted to be a smart ass and ask her if it wasn’t obvious since there is a speech therapist standing in my house, but I refrained. I’m such a big girl…sometimes. I told her it resulted in a lot of tantrums and joked, “but I can be stubborn too.”

“Well you reap what you sow.” She told me. Seriously, what a bitch! I didn’t ask what she meant by that and she didn’t offer any explanation, but I didn’t take it as anything positive. I have another appointment with her next week. I’m fuckin’ overjoyed.

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Is this it, the word explosion?

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I got the ball rolling for so Sophia to start seeing a speech therapist on November 5th. It is now the eve of December and we have yet to actually have a speech therapy session. I haven’t even met the person that will be Sophia’s speech therapist, so far all we’ve had is a bunch of meetings for various case workers to get to know Sophia (mostly through me describing her). I swear they’re just waiting for her to start talking on her own. Thankfully, I have the time to take her to some of the free classes they offer. I don’t know if they’re helping her language along or if it was just time, but she’s beginning to add some more words in rapid succession.

A couple weeks ago she started saying “bak” for bag. I got rid of our diaper champ long ago and now use a wet bag to hold the dirties. I dump it in the trash outside after it either fills up or has a poopy diaper in it. She also learned “be-bye” for goodbye.

Last week she began saying “oh no” and just kept repeating it over an over all day long. Then she picked up the word “go” which really has no meaning to her, or at least is not used in the context of, “let’s go somewhere”. It’s just another word from her favorite book “Go, Dog. Go!” She also says, “dak”, which translate from toddler-ese to mean “dog”. If she wanted to she could actually say the title of her favorite book.

On Friday she pointed to her diaper and said, “daper”, and on Saturday she said, “Muk” for milk. Kurt is getting excited; this might be the word explosion. Of course, this only brings the word count up to 29, if you don’t double up and count both the sign and word for milk and apple. She still only uses the sign to ask for both.

In one of the many meetings I had to get the ball rolling for speech therapy I mentioned our concern that Sophia stopped saying cheese and started using a modified sign for banana instead. “Well if you respond to the sign she makes…” she said. So I stopped responding with cheese to Sophia’s sign and started saying, “cheese” to coax it out of her. She hasn’t had string cheese since, and has now stopped asking for it at all.

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Mute white food elitist

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I had been dreading it since the last checkup, six months ago. At every Baby Wellness checkup I feel like I say, ‘no’ to the majority of the baby milestone questions. This time (October 8th) was much better. I only said no to two questions: Is she eating a balanced diet?

I told the nurse, “no” and said that Sophia only eats “white foods”. I received a confounded look. I hear all these TV and radio ads explaining how to ensure a balanced diet by eating a variety of colors. Apparently, not everyone goes by the rainbow method. Judging by the initial look she probably thought I meant that were a bunch of racist pricks but acknowledge that our food is inferior. That’s not what I meant.

I cited examples, “bananas, apples, rice, and bread”. You know, white foods. It doesn’t matter how small I chop carrots to mix in, Sophia still eats rice one grain at a time, unless it’s clumped together and she is sure the entire clump is rice. The nurse asked if Sophia likes pasta. “Sort of”, I replied. She suggested sneaking carrots in by pureeing them with spaghetti sauce. I guess the nurse is colorblind. Marinara is RED. Because Sophia is a white food elitist, the nurse also suggested giving a multi vitamin. I don’t think she fully understands the problem. New things are bad and flintstones vitamins don’t come in white. Despite Sophia’s anti food color-ism she has moved from the 20th percentile in weight to the 50th. She is currently 26.4 pounds. She still in the 75th percentile for height at 35 inches.

The other question that received a resounding “no” was, “Does she have more than twenty words?” Not even if I count the baby signs that she uses. Sophia has won the recommendation of a speech therapist. We’re currently waiting for them to call to schedule the appointment.

Her hearing is fine. She understands commands and can follow a two-step request. She simply doesn’t speak. I’m not worried about her intelligence at all, it’s just frustrating as hell. I hope that we get something other than, “well just work with her”. I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know how else to work with her. Some suggest videos, to which I respond, “how did we ever learn to speak before TV was invented?” Others suggest it’s because it’s just the two of us all day. I don’t know where they get that idea since I’m never home. I spent my whole summer at the park with Sophia and we were not alone. I also take her swimming twice a week where she hears me chatting with other moms and she receives interaction with them and the instructor.

Previously the nurse suggested that I probably anticipate her needs and therefore she doesn’t need words. The thing is, her needs are the first words she had. As soon as she learned the signs for milk, apple, and banana I forced her to use them when she wants food outside of meal time. I accept signs for things because if she were a deaf child those would be her words. It’s something she has learned in order to get a specific item, but the things she learned to sign she never attempts to say even though I say use word before giving her anything.

One of Sophia’s swim instructors overheard me talking to another mom about her lack of words and suggested that I just not give her things until she says the word. Yeah I did that after her eighteen-month appointment up until twenty-two months. You want to know what happens when I do that with my child? Four months of meltdowns and screaming. I did this with non-essentials and no words came of it. Sophia would have a thirty-minute fit and then move on. There’s no prying words our of this one.

And if I hear just one more person insisting that I just enjoy the wordlessness because I’m going to regret it when she starts talking – I’m just going to fuckin’ scream. Oh and I’ll send you my mute toddler because clearly you have no idea how frustrating it is to have such a demanding little person that won’t speak.

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